Big changes over here at EMK Inc. You’ll see more of them in coming months, but I’ve finally moved my blog from Advice From A Single Dating Expert to EvanMarcKatz.com.

There were a few reasons behind this: efficiency, search engine optimization, and aesthetics. But the main reason is this: I’m married, and the single dating expert brand just had to be retired.

So… to make sure you don’t miss a single blog post ever again, click here:

This is a separate list from my regular mailing list, which is even MORE important to be on. The newsletters will be aggregators of popular blog posts as well as emails telling you about products, events, free teleclasses and sales. You can get on that list if you just click here:

In the future, I will be blogging a lot more frequently. Not just reader letters, which will still run on Thursdays, but every thing I feel like saying. Meaning, you’re going to be visiting me every day. Fun!

Finally, if you missed the past two blog posts, do yourself a favor and read below. They’re juicy topics and I’d love it if you would contribute to the dialogue.

Once again, to make sure you never miss another blog post ever again, click here:

And to get on my regular non-blog mailing list, just click here:

Stay in touch,

Evan

Hi Evan, I am in a very tricky situation and don't know what to do, I found your web site and your advice are great. I hope you will answer my question, I need your precious advice too. I met a man online a few months ago, and, to make a long story short, we met, we are a great match intellectually/emotionally. I am concerned sometimes he is too attached to me and the way he started to make long term plans with me quite soon, but this isn't a real problem.

The real problem is that I don't find him attractive. He is not ugly but I don't like his features and overall appearance. Physically, I find he is not a "match" for me and I am not proud of being so shallow. I don't know what to do because other than that he is just perfect and I like him very much, he makes me feel very good. But I am not sure if I should be making plans with a man I don't feel much attraction for. I decided to tell him the truth about my feelings and he said he will take all the steps necessary to improve himself physically as he doesn't want to lose me. I am torn. Is he really the man of my life if physically I don't like him the way he is?

Thanks you so much for your help. Mia

Can you see how making a decision based on attraction is a perfect example of short-term thinking? Like getting a tattoo with someone's name on your back and breaking up four months later.

Mia, I can't answer your question, because NOBODY can answer your question. Attraction is the big X Factor in any relationship. When you have it, you don't think twice about it. When you don't have it, it's hard to overcome. Which would seem to indicate that you should break up with your boyfriend. Not so fast. I've put a lot of thought into the pros and cons of how much you should weight the lack of physical attraction in a relationship. I urge you to consider this before taking any rash steps.

Reasons for Staying Together Despite a Lack of Physical Attraction

Ask most long-term married couples about the relative importance of sex in their lives, they will generally say things like "It's the dessert, not the main course". And it's true. It's just hard to consider that when you're 27. But realize that in 10 years, you're 37, raising little ones and your life is no longer your own. By 47, your bodies have thickened and drooped. By 57, you're probably finishing menopause and his libido is largely gone. By 67, you're thinking of retirement, travel and grandkids. By 77, you're hoping just to stay healthy, and … Can you see how making a decision based on attraction is a perfect example of short-term thinking? Like getting a tattoo with someone's name on your back and breaking up four months later.

Continued on next page >>       Pages:   1 2 3 4

Last week, I got a call from a distraught woman named Michelle. Early 40′s, attractive, intelligent, funny – and utterly demoralized by this guy that she’d been seeing. They had a passionate first month, and then, after one awkward conversation, he pulled away. But not fully. He would still send her regular texts saying that he missed her – although he didn’t actually DO anything to make plans with her.

Since Michelle knew a lot about nutrition, I decided to communicate with her in metaphors she’d easily understand. I told her that the super-attractive guys with whom she felt the most chemistry were like fried foods – they may taste really good, but, in the long run, they’re really bad for you.

Having read my advice before, Michelle set up a coaching call to find out how she could get this guy back.

Since Michelle knew a lot about nutrition, I decided to communicate with her in metaphors she’d easily understand. I told her that the super-attractive guys with whom she felt the most chemistry were like fried foods – they may taste really good, but, in the long run, they’re really bad for you.

Her immediate reaction was to protest, “But nice guys are so boring!”

“So are vegetables,” I said. “But if you want to live a long, healthy life, you can’t do better than eating healthy. If you think that you’re going to be the one person who doesn’t get heart disease on a steady diet of bad food, you’ve got another thing coming.”

She laughed. “But I LIKE bad food.”

“EVERYBODY likes bad food,” I reminded her. “But if you want to know the main reason that you’re single, it’s because you keep on eating steak every night and are continually shocked that you don’t lose weight. Steak is always gonna be bad for you. Hot, emotionally unavailable guys will, too.”

That conversation was four days ago.

Here’s what Michelle wrote to me this morning:

Continued on next page >>       Pages:   1 2

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 weeks. He has been separated from his wife for almost 1.5 years.  Two weeks after we began dating, he told me that he invited his ex and their 3-year-old son over for dinner as the ex was upset about breaking up with her boyfriend recently. I made it very clear that I was not comfortable with this and he said it won’t happen again. The following week, he catches up with her father twice so they can spend time together. I finally asked him directly to finalize his divorce and he said it was a big step, but later changed his mind and printed the forms off the net. I asked him last week if he had spoken to his ex about it, which he said she agreed. The paperwork is still sitting there incomplete. Should I ask again or move on?

Abigail

If I were your boyfriend, I’d dump you in a heartbeat. You’d be gone so fast from my life that you’d get whiplash trying to follow my ass out the door.

Dear Abigail,

First I want to share a brief story about someone I know.

She was in love with her boyfriend, but her boyfriend was preoccupied with his mother, who was dying of cancer. Each time he flew back to see his mom on her deathbed, my friend couldn’t help but feel strangely jealous that he wasn’t spending time with her. When he’d return from his weekend trips, he’d get a passive-aggressive guilt trip. She knew he was under stress, but she had needs, too. How can she feel secure about their future when he’s spending half his time focusing on things other than her?

He broke up with her before his mom passed away. She was heartbroken, but couldn’t help the way she felt. Of course, she was 19 at the time, so she had an excuse.

I don’t know how old you are, but I’m hoping you’re 19 as well. Which means you’re going to have a long time to recover from what I’m about to say to you next:

If I were your boyfriend, I’d dump you in a heartbeat.

You’d be gone so fast from my life that you’d get whiplash trying to follow my ass out the door.

I’ll bet you’re wondering how I could say such a thing. After all, he’s YOUR boyfriend. Why should you have to worry about exes and fathers-in-law and sons and paperwork? Shouldn’t he be ALL YOURS?

Um, no.

Let’s look at a tale of the tape:

Continued on next page >>       Pages:   1 2

I just finished my packed teleclass, “The 6 Things You Must Do ASAP to Be an Online Dating Rockstar”. It was a blast and I’m confident that all 200 listeners got considerable value out of the free call.

At the end, I launched my long-awaited new program – Evan’s Online Dating Bootcamp. I couldn’t be more excited about it – and you should be, too.

While my normal online dating coaching packages normally cost $2000-$4000, my new Bootcamp is a lot more affordable: $999 for the first 10 people to use a special coupon code.

Bootcamp sold out within 5 minutes of the telecass BUT…there’s still a chance for YOU to get in.

Much to my surprise, 2 readers actually thought that the entire course cost $133, which is the price of the first payment. Their loss is your gain. So if you act RIGHT NOW (and I mean RIGHT NOW), you have a chance to get one of the two remaining slots and get your love life into high gear within a couple of weeks.

Here’s what you receive in my Bootcamp:

* Professionally written online dating profile from E-Cyrano.com ($149 value)
* Professional photos from LookBetterOnline.com ($149 value)
* 6 weeks of coaching in a small group with Evan Marc Katz ($1,500 value)
* Recordings of all coaching calls emailed to you the following day ($200 value)
* Personal attention & your most pressing dating questions answered (priceless!)

All you have to do is go to: http://www.evanmarckatz.com/bootcamp/

Put in the coupon code: april300 to get $300 off the listed $1299 price. And voila – $999 will be divided into three monthly payments of $133, $433 and $433.

If you do not get one of these two slots, you will get a message that says that the bootcamp is sold out on backlog. You will then be able to put your name on a waitlist in case I ever do this class again. So please don’t delay.

I will see two very fast, very lucky readers on our first Bootcamp call next Wednesday night.

Update: Online Dating Bootcamp is no longer available. Please check out my Inner Circle instead!

On Wednesday at 5pmPST, I’ll be covering the “6 Things You Simply MUST Do ASAP to Be an Online Dating Rockstar”. The call will be fun, informative, and, best of all, FREE. However, I’m only taking the first 200 people and I’m not planning on recording the call, so make sure you show up on time. Continue Reading »

If you’re in the LA area, I’m REALLY excited to see you this Sunday night at 6. As I mentioned earlier this week, I’ll be part of an all-star dating event in Marina del Rey, where there’ll be drinking, dancing, speed dating, and, of course, the chance to meet other singles (and dating coaches). Continue Reading »

I began an online relationship with someone about a month and 1/2 ago who is separated but has filed papers for an uncontested divorce which should be finalized shortly.  He originally said on his profile that he was divorced, which is not true – yet. I confronted him on his “divorce” status and called him a liar. Continue Reading »

Continued on next page >>       Pages:   1 2 3

Evan,

I just read “Why He Didn’t Call You Back”. I picked it up after reading your recommendation. It’s rare that I go on a date and not get a call for a second date. So I don’t have that problem, but I rarely want to go on the second date. My Continue Reading »