There are two big problems in dating.

1) You don’t want the people who want you.
2) The people you want don’t want you in return.

Now, take a look at those two problems; which one do you think you can change? Continue Reading »

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Dear Evan!

I’ve been reading your advice for a while. I like how you talk about not putting so much importance on chemistry and how you should focus on how the person treats you. I met a guy on Plenty of Fish in January. We became exclusive in March. He treats me wonderfully and loves me unconditionally. I’m legally blind. He accepts me and gave me the chance to demonstrate that I’m independent. However, there are certain things that turn me off. He doesn’t care too much about appearance. He can go to work without showering! Also, during sex, he doesn’t want to talk but I do. Continue Reading »

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Hi Evan,

I went on a date with a wonderful girl on Friday, and it did go quite well. I noticed the past few days since she has looked at my profile online many times, but I actually was the one who thanked her a few days later for the nice evening. She said she had a great time too, via text. Does this still seem like a promising venture? Continue Reading »

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It was 2001. I was at the W Hotel bar in Westwood. And from across the spacious, dimly lit room, I saw her:

My ex-girlfriend. Hottest woman I ever dated. Most tempestuous woman I ever dated. Yes, I held on to my perfect 10 for four months – four months of being left at restaurants, holiday parties, and weddings following an outrageous fight over virtually nothing.

Why do men date sexy troublemakers? Because we can’t help ourselves. It’s a drug – and, like all tales involving drugs – it never has a happy ending. Continue Reading »

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Hi Evan,

I have an unusual situation. I am divorced after a 15-year marriage and dating someone about 5 months now. It is starting to get serious. This guy knows a lot about me including a 6-year marriage prior to the recent long one. What he doesn’t know is that briefly, as a teenager, I was married for 6 months. It ended in divorce and religious annulment. My therapist tells me I need not disclose this information, but I kinda feel like I am being dishonest. The relationship was so long ago and I never discuss it. But it happened. Should I wait until things get more serious or should I have already fessed up?

LJ Continue Reading »

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I love it when others confirm something that I already thought to be true. In this case, it’s the idea that people are often much nicer to their pets than they are to their romantic partners. PsychCentral explains how people account for their unconditional pet-love:

People often describe pets as undemanding and giving unconditional love, when the reality is that pets require a lot of time and attention, special foods and care. They throw up on rugs, pee in the house and steal food from countertops. Yet we accept their flaws because we love them so much. Continue Reading »

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Hi Evan,

I just finished reading “Why He Disappeared.” It was extremely insightful. I didn’t really fit EXACTLY into the female examples you gave but still got a lot out of the material. I tend to constantly overlook men’s flaws (to a fault,) so that’s where I didn’t fit in. BUT, I could relate to the clinginess in relationships. I tend to be the confident, self-assured woman in the dating process, but once I begin the courtship/relationship phase, I become unconfident and clingy. In my head I see what I’m doing, but I have been unable to change this flaw of mine, even though I know it’s happening. It’s extremely frustrating. Do you have any advice on how to overcome this? Continue Reading »

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