Comments on: Adventures in Online Dating, Volume 3

By: Joanna

Joanna — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 19:11:15 +0000

As to Leah’s post – that’s terrific! You’ve just weeded out a humorless fellow. Would you want to spend the rest of your life with a man who couldn’t share a laugh with you?

By: Leah

Leah — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 03:11:37 +0000

Well, apparently not everyone gets the “fun fiction” kind of response…I just tried it and got this back, “I see what you did there…you took things that I find interesting and blended them all together as a joke. How droll.”

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 15:12:15 +0000

This is good stuff…I like it!
And Curly I agree with you- the people that aren’t new media friendly, and don’t have active social lives are kinda SOL unless they change something about themselves.

By: Evan Marc Katz

Evan Marc Katz — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 20:34:31 +0000

@Curly

I would suggest a headline that says "Dullard Seek Dullard for Lifetime of Boredom and Unstimulating Conversation".

Then again, that might be read as sarcastic, thus undermining the dullard claim. Damn.

Anyway, my "technique" for writing first emails isn't really brain surgery - it's only asking people to express their personality in writing. As you've probably noticed, you tend to state facts in your emails: "you like golf...I like golf", which isn't nearly as interesting as your OPINION on golf:

"Perhaps if we moved all the homeless people to golf courses, we could solve the housing crisis. Of course, that would put a bunch of greenskeepers out of business..."

Make 'em laugh, make 'em think, always leave 'em wanting more...

Evan

By: Honey

Honey — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 20:22:23 +0000

I am always clever (see, wasn’t that funny?), but I wish I’d gone the making-things-up-so-blatantly-they-know-you’re-kidding route when I was online dating.

Though, this would work well in a variety of contexts where you’re interacting with people you don’t know well (say, the local chapter of your alum club).

By: Mikko Kemppe - Relationship Coach

Mikko Kemppe - Relationship Coach — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 19:38:56 +0000

Great advice!
@ Curly Girl, I think it is tough luck out there for the nice dullards in the on-line dating world, and I think Evan’s response would be that they should just step up their game and learn more and maybe take one of his courses or at the very least atleast subscribe to his e-mail list. I don’t think that would be a bad idea.

By: Curly Girl

Curly Girl — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 17:59:58 +0000

Very good stuff! But how does this work if you’re just a dullard, looking for another dullard? I know lots of nice folks who would be/are great in relationship but can’t do the clever wordsmithing thing, don’t take great photos, etc. In other words, they are not new-media-friendly.

(I’m not a dullard myself, of course. Just thinking more broadly about online dating and how “media values” are affecting relationships.)