Ask yourself these questions: are you polishing your self daily (character), do you challenge youself every moment (strength), have you found it yet – ur true calling, what you love doing, and that gives you joy not stress (mission), are you prepared to face the moment when the worst might happen (not break up, worse stuff) (courage)?? The day one is satisfied with the answers, she will stop hurting herself and before she knows it, she will have her best relationship (with herself first).

And to cut the long story short, I have been in a non-committal relationship for four years now. But I am with someone who has taught me so much about life through his own life that I can’t ever breakup with him even if I wanted to (say if if go off to pluto with another man ) coz he will be in my life always. And I do not see my relationship as a waste.

To end, a woman I admire once said, “be happy first, do not marry to be happy.” Cheers.

Over 4 years for me of being crazy about someone I never even met in person and had to leave and said a lot of things in anger I regret becasue partly my terrible past blended in and made what he was doing even worse on my end.

But I have to say.. after years of bitterness and being a hermit.. and even ending it with him now.. I really learned a lot from the experince, I want to blame 1/2 way and yes he was dangling a carrot in some way’s and allowing me to feel too much with the suggestions and hints, then the major blows of oh now he is dating over there etc ect ..

But I had to deal with a lot of pain.. so much pain it was unbearable.. so much feeling worthless that a funny thing happens.

” You just realize there is no way in hell you could be that bad, as bad as your feeling it’s just not really possible to be that damn bad off.”

Even when these guys are players – I mean it is up to us to allow it and to allow those negative thoughts and more.

Luckily with him I always spoke my mind, so this time at least and as always with him klet him know what I think, and that was a HUGE jump from just clamming up as I had always typically done and held it all in and then whinned to a girlfreind about it.

You can if you want take it as an opportunity to get better with yourself, your life, let him go and not be so bitter for once.

It’s like I was somehow “trained” to be bitter just becasue something didn’t go the way I hoped it would witha gut, and I realize that is really NOT any answer, nothing to drag along like a wet sock with me.

So even in leaving a jerk, a commitment phobe, an egomaniac, etc as   at least this one was a freind to the point where I see he is just really messed up right now.

I do not think they all plan to do as much dmage as they do.. They cannot live our history either and see it our way – they only see they are afriad sometines, or just can’t be there even if they want to… Maybe they do that to all wormn for a while becasue they are not ready and maybe even sense your not ready.

God knows I want things I am not ready for sometimes so badly.. but honestly I am not even ready fro some of thge things I want just yet, But the passion to get them sure as hell exist. 

Maybe sometimes they are to us creul in our eyes, but in their own eyes maybe they feel lacking for their own selves, Maybe often times taking it so personal is not really the answer.

Leaveing them alone yes when you are more able and more feeling is the right thing to do, they may not be on the same level maturity wise and readiness wise perhaps.. Maybe they are afriad of being alone and your better than not being alone, still it’s a problem with HIM and NOT you.. that is where women I think and know from experience bash themselves and wonder too much what is wrong with me?

Maybe there is nothing wrong with you, Yes maybe he is wasting your time then leave, But maybe it is kinda sad he is that afraid of being alone on the other as well.

Feelings are over rated, I found myself saying the stupidest things from feelings then later regretting that – But yes they need to know before you move on why they are doing something wrong at least from your point of view.

We teach them it’s okay I think not saying anything – somethimes they really are clueless that it even is pain inducing to be honest. And you gotta look at how many women nodays are jumping in the sack and things just for a good time, you really have to let it be known what you want and early.

If it scares them off that you want commitmnet one-day the sooner they run the better.

I do not think it is wrong when your just getting to know someone to let them know you would like to one-day get married at all.. I think it is a “trick” to them if you do not let them know, mentioning it don’t mean it has to be THEM – but I really think we as women that want these things need to make it clear what we want too.

Things can get complex, there are always two sides to the strory, yes some people are just players and will string you along carelessly and have no deapth, NOT enough depth for you.

So my thinking right now is really when things do not work, are not working out – then leave, suffer for a few days some pain and heartache whatever, You can even care and need to leave sometimes yes.

But I think hanging on to anger is not the answer anymore, I think it just keeps you into getting the wrong things again, keeps you with an it’s US against THEM mentality which is not going to work in a PARTNERSHIP.