It’s a huge fallacy that the races don’t date here. I see more bi-racial couples here than anywhere (SC) and I travel abroad each year. But the explosion is fairly recent imo. Prior to that, if you study the layout of most major SE cities, the black and white neighborhoods were contiguous (except Atlanta) so mixing was frequent/inevitable. Many of my high school friends were practically raised by black nannies (’cause their parents were a a bit awol) and Jimmy Carter talks about this loving mixing of the races in the small town he grew up in in GA…..

I went to an all-girls high school in Charleston in the late 60s but I frequented three separate social milieus: the debs, others (miscellaneous, older southern women mostly- mentors), and older, hipper local college kids (incl. gays). I also spent the first nine years of my life on various Army bases where integration happened first so when it came time to date I did occasionally date interesting black guys that crossed my path.   

I am currently trying to set my son up with a young black woman his age who works with me ’cause I think they would click.  On okcupid here btw, he tells me he mostly hears from black chicks. lol 

Btw, as an aside, years ago, and I’m sure it hasn’t changed much, I was at my brother’s engagement party outside LA and someone with a straight face asked me “why do you live in Atlanta?” as if it were some backwater. Atlanta now….Made me mad as hell, but I shot back “well, we have opera now and last I looked running water”….. jeez Hollywood (and the “hick” movies) have done a real unfair number on the entire SE, the bias is just incredible.

But move here, and 9 out of 10 wouldn’t leave for anything, ever. ‘Cause this place is mostly very spiritual. People are kind and will give you eye contact and speak nicely to you. Help you if your car breaks down by the side of the road. Yes religion still holds sway here, but at least those types give brotherly love a try. By Monday or Tuesday they are back to being super worldly like everyone else though. lol Or gossiping. 

I hear others complain about the men in their area, and really I have dated mostly gentlemen here with only about 6 exceptions (the men I became involved with unfortunately) and those ran the gamut. When dating my favorite men were probably Midwesterners though….  

We aren’t perfect, but who the hell is? 

No, I have always felt the South’s greatness lies in the very fact it was defeated (Civil War). Years of reconstruction enabled a people, more than decimated (estimates are 1 in 3 SC adult males died), to come together to not only rebuild but to succeed despite the continued taunts and condescension of other Americans, and especially, the hugely negative influence and vindictiveness of Hollywood.  For us, humility has been as important as utility.
The evils of the Jim Crow era forced the South to hold a mirror to itself, to reform in ways other regions and other countries have only begun to.  
   
You just need to find someone from your “tribe” girls and those men can live anywhere imo, even Europe. Someone with a good blend of head AND heart.

My 19 yr old daughter has brown hair and blue eyes and is as “white” looking as she can be, but she identifies herself as Asian.  Another problem with stereotyping  is that we don’t necessarily identify ourselves with the same race that someone else would. 

On the topic of location: I live in a medium sized Southern town.  It really is hard , but not impossible, to find a compatible person to go out with.  I met my boyfriend online.  I was hesitant to go outside of a 25 mile radius, but glad I did…  he lives 27 miles out.

BTW, men typically do not care if you are well traveled, educated or professional, no matter what race you are. That is just a fact of life for all women. Men are attracted to looks first, everything else is just icing on the cake.

This.  I believe Karl R has said something similar many times.  Except, it’s not quite just looks–it’s also how you make him feel.  Even the hottest supermodel, if she doesn’t make her date feel good, he won’t want to keep dating her, unless he just needs the arm candy for some other reason.  Even if you’re not a supermodel, if he has fun with you, you’ll keep getting dates.

Regarding the whole location thing, what I find curious is the number of women who live in DC proper who say they only want to date men within 5 miles or less.  I guess maybe they don’t have cars and only want to be able to metro/walk to their dates’ place?  Even though most suburban guys have our own car; in fact I drive from Maryland to Virginia for work every day.  Or they only want to date convenient guys less than 30 minutes away?

Also, for some reason, the women in Northern Virginia seem to outnumber the women in suburban Maryland.

Have you DC-area ladies have made the same couple of observations regarding DC-area men?

“ I find it difficult because the attitude of the men is that there are so many women out there, and so the answer is always “no” in terms of maybe trying a relationship with one woman.  If they can get sex within three dates from another girl, then why would they try to get to know someone like me?  I feel like the men just aren’t open to seeing how it goes and giving a relationship a bit of time/room.  So you either have sex really early with a guy, and he leaves, or you wait to have sex, and he leaves.  Either way, he’s out on the town chasing a new girl.  I guess you have to wait until the “right time” with these guys.”

Why bother with these guys, at all. 

Ever heard of the apex fallacy(an interesting topic for a future blog entry, even though I’m sure it has been covered her before in the past)?