I’m still buzzing from the email that I got from my former client, Michelle. And let me say, that Michelle is one of my favorite clients ever.
Always good-humored, always confident, always present – and, most importantly, always coachable, Michelle saw instant results in working with me.
She attracted a man who was different than her previous boyfriends – and that’s exactly what she needed. After all, Michelle will be the first to tell you that she’s a bit of a handful. And after dominating (and losing respect) for her last guy, she craved the attention of a man who was a little more alpha.
Men don’t stay with women who treat them as incomplete projects – they bond with women who make them feel good.
She got him – and she got all the problems that come with being with such a man.
She couldn’t tell him what to do.
She couldn’t make him say that he loved her fast enough.
She couldn’t ensure that he wanted to stick around for the future.
Although Mark treated her great, he was still very much a MAN. Early 50’s, successful, busy, a divorced father of a teenaged son, he felt very fortunate to have landed a 33-year-old stunner like Michelle.
All of the stories that Michelle told me reiterated how much he valued her, and at the time that she gave me this testimonial that’s on my Commitment Course page, she was in a great comfort zone with Mark.
He treated her well, he told her he loved her, he put up with her self-proclaimed “brattiness,” and he alluded to a future together.
But all relationships have their challenges, and Mark and Michelle were no different.
The elephant in the room for this couple was that Michelle very much wants to have kids, while Mark never really anticipated that he’d be a father again in his 50’s.
While I was coaching Michelle through the first four months of their relationship (and intermittently in between), I cautioned her to NOT put any pressure on him about getting married and having kids. While theoretically, she could be “wasting” her time with him, my advice was to let him fall in love with her.
If he did, she would have a lot more leverage when the baby talk came up, as opposed to trying to extract an answer out of him in the early stages of the relationship.
This worked like a charm. Because really, it was no secret that Michelle wanted to be a Mom, and since Mark was a man of integrity, he wanted to do right by his girlfriend. He agreed, last July, to be the future father of her children.
Then he changed his mind a few months later.
No matter how much he loved Michelle, Mark just couldn’t pull the trigger on a second round of fatherhood, and they tearfully parted ways.
True love will find you sooner rather than later – as long as you prioritize your love life.
I was sad for Michelle, but very proud at how she handled herself. Despite her high-maintenance tendencies, she became better at understanding Mark’s needs and point of view, and created the healthiest relationship that she’d ever had before.
Every time she wanted to criticize him for how he handled his relationship with his son, or his ex-wife, or his boss, she remembered that men don’t stay with women who treat them as incomplete projects – they bond with women who make them feel good.
Most importantly, from our work together, Michelle knew that her future husband wants to be a dad, and thus, she had no regrets about walking away when she did.
That was the last I’d heard from Michelle. Until today.
Turns out that her breakup only lasted for one week.
Mark loved Michelle.
Her playfulness, her sexiness, and yes, even her attitude and mood swings. After spending a year and a half together, Mark realized that he couldn’t imagine life without her. Which is as it should be.
And while I give Michelle credit for becoming the woman that no man can ever leave, Michelle actually gives ME credit. Here’s a snippet of her note to me:
I asked him why he had a change of heart and finally came to this conclusion. He said because he’s in love with me.
I can’t tell you what this has done for me in this relationship. I feel so relieved and at ease with it all.
Evan, you taught me to be playful, lighthearted, patient, kind and compassionate.
You’re an AMAZING (THE BEST) dating coach!
I love Michelle and I love this story.
A confident, successful, attractive woman in her mid-30s finds a masculine, confident man, wins him over with her feminine energy, and makes herself so indispensable to his life that he can’t imagine being without her.
I’m attending their wedding this summer in San Francisco and I couldn’t be more excited for the both of them.
Know that this is within your grasp and that true love will find you sooner rather than later – as long as you prioritize your love life like Michelle did.