Today, I’m going to do something I’ve never done before: I’m going to be a matchmaker.

The man I’m going to introduce you to is an amazing catch. He’s tall, he’s cute, he’s intelligent, he’s successful. He comes from a close family and wants to build a family of his own. Continue Reading »

Last blog post posed two questions. One had to do with how people discriminate based on age, and, by the time they get serious about dating in their early 40’s, often find that their options have become severely limited.

(This was the main reason for Lori Gottlieb’s famous controversial “settling” article – soon to be a book in February, 2010.)

The other question had to do with what independent, professional women in their mid-30’s REALLY want. To recap, let’s go back to our original poster, Adam. Continue Reading »

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Got this email from a TV producer and thought I’d share it with you – the smartest, wittiest, coolest blog readership anywhere. Continue Reading »

Here’s some bonus footage that wasn’t on the air during my Wednesday morning appearance.

Forgive the fact that my face looks thoroughly surprised in the screenshot below. I’m actually being given electrical shocks by the producers to encourage me to keep my energy up.

Here’s the video from my appearance this morning on Good Day LA. Everyone there was SUPER nice and my new friend Ashlee had a couple of revelations that will undoubtedly improve her choices of men.

I love my job.

After some very intense and lengthy discussions on this blog about overweight women, the definition of patriarchy, and the value of hooking up, I wanted to take things down a notch.

Witness this site, which is a sign that the apocalypse is upon us. I kid, but not really.

Essentially, the folks at Virtual Dating Assistants profess to do everything that I do as a dating coach – except instead of teaching you how to do it yourself – as I do, they do it for you!

Yes, for only $480.00 a month, you can have an unskilled laborer put in 40 hours a month (at $12/hr with no overhead, apparently) into your online dating love life. For this, you are guaranteed at least two dates per month, and years and years of bad karma. I only have two words for you: Awe. Some.

Finally, the rich and busy lazy can just sit back and just marvel as their calendars magically fill up. All your Virtual Dating Assistant has to do is talk to you for a half-hour on the phone, and he will then know enough about you to write your profile, your headline, a few “initial contact templates”, and all of the future emails that you’ll want to send to attract your future life partner.

Says the website, “Once an interesting candidate is qualified, your 007 Dating Assistant works to stimulate interest, build comfort, and flip her attraction switches.” These guys must really know what they’re doing! I dated for 15 years and I have NO IDEA where these switches are located.

And lest you think you have to DO anything except give your credit card, your VDA will actually set up the date for you. No joke. The email correspondence, the dinner reservations, everything.

You just read your “pre-date executive brief”, charm her pants off, and rest easy, knowing that you may be going to hell, but at least you’ve saved time by subcontracting the most personal of interactions.

Your thoughts are greatly appreciated.

A great laugh on a lazy Friday…

ZombieHarmony.

Have an amazing weekend.

Evan

I am noticing a trend in men who I write to or men who write to me online. They are leaving their phone numbers and when I respond with here’s my number, "I’ll be home Monday evening", they just email me back leaving their number again and say "call me". I remember you said it was up to them to call, should I just write them off if they don’t call me or take the first step?  I have tried going ahead and calling a couple and it worked out OK but I really didn’t like the way it made me feel. Is there a protocol that if you are the one that starts communications you should be the first one to call? A couple of guys that did this I wasn’t that excited about I just dropped and they never called. What’s this all about?

Carol

Dear Carol,

If a guy wants to meet with you, but can’t take the effort to pick up the phone, he clearly doesn’t want to meet you that bad.

But there’s more to it than that, which is why I chose to answer your question this week.

Now, to all our readers, Carol is a private client of mine, and, to be honest, a favorite. She’s in her early 60’s, a tough age for a single woman, but she doesn’t let it get her down. She has a can-do attitude, a great sense of humor, and a healthy perspective on this whole dating thing.

When we were working together on the phone, she had great success and lots of dating options. She was also bombarded by men’s phone numbers, so I gave her a technique to redirect them in a positive way.

Any man who is serious about you can pick up the phone to show it.

If a guy offers his phone number, but you want him to call you, you have to give him a playful counteroffer – one in which he feels encouraged, not rejected.

Dear Fred,

Thanks for the email. Sounds like you have big plans this weekend with your daughter. Let me know if you’re looking for a good restaurant in the Berkeley area.

Anyway, I’m flattered that you offered your number and very much look forward to speaking to you. But, call me traditional – I’d like it even more if you called me. My number is 555-1212 and I’ll be home after 8pm on Thursday night. Look forward to hearing from you then.

Carol

Thus Fred gets what he wants AND Carol gets what she wants. He’s not being rejected. He’s being complimented and encouraged to continue his advances. All Carol asks is for him to make a further investment in her. And she makes it real easy for him by warmly and confidently giving him a window to call. Fred’s job, at that point, is to either call her or to give her another time he can call her. If he ignores her email, she has her answer. Any man who is serious about you can pick up the phone to show it. …

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Your FREE 18 page eBook is now available, with fresh perspectives on the most important questions you’ll face in dating, including: 

Why Figuring Out What You Need Is More Important Than Chasing What You Want

How to Date Multiple People at the Same Time

How to Keep Perspective When You’re Looking for Love

Why Speaking Your Mind on a Date Isn’t Always the Best Policy

How to Read Between the Lines in an Online Dating Profile

How to Have a Relationship Discussion That Works

How Being Picky Might Keep You Single Forever

To acquire your copy of 7 Secrets for Dating Success, click on the link below, or cut and paste it into your browser: http://www.evanmarckatz.com/newsletter.html. Oh, and by the way, by downloading the free eBook, you will also get a subscription to my free newsletter with more empowering articles about dating and relationships.  

Enjoy!

Your friend,

Evan

Was at Coachella Music Festival this past weekend. Catching up on work before my big vacation with the girlfriend. Will try to crank out some more blog posts before I go. But first…

Check out Chemistry.com’s Blog, “The Great Mate Debate”. Sorta catchy title. But what makes it really worthwhile is that they sought out the opinions of five relationship experts not named Evan:

Helen Fisher, the mastermind behind Chemistry.com
Dan Savage, the superstar sex advice columnist
Wendy Shalit, who calls herself the Modesty Maverick
Ed Young, pastor and founder of Ed Young TV
and Greg and Amiira Behrendt of He’s Just Not That Into fame

It will probably come as little surprise as to which of these pundits have a similar take as I do. Actually, I take that back. I think most of them give really sound, commonsense advice, although some are a little funnier/blunter than others.

Check it out and decide for yourself.

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