Three Questions from an Online Dating Virgin
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I believe Shakespeare dealt with the same issue in his time. Alas, he didn’t have access to stock market metaphors, so he wouldn’t be as equipped to answer the question adeptly as I can. So dig this:
If you have a stock that’s performing really, really well, you may not see the need to buy lesser-performing stocks. But if your stock is middling along, and you don’t want to give up on it, you may choose diversify your portfolio to increase your earning potential.
Okay, so it’s a strained metaphor. But the moral of the story is that if you’re on JDate and you’re getting tons of emails, there’s no reason for you to go to Yahoo Personals. But if you’re on Match and you haven’t been introduced to one attractive person, it probably couldn’t hurt you to post yourself on Chemistry as well. Presuming you can handle the a) time and b) money of being on multiple sites, it’s not like there’s a real downside to it.
The trickiest scenario is when you have too many dates and you can’t keep track of who you met where. I’d probably recommend making the most of one website – great username, headline, photos, essays – before exploring another options. And if you’re gonna go to a second website, maybe you should make it a different kind of site. If your first choice was a big one like Match.com, maybe you go with a site for big, beautiful women, or a site for Christians, or a site for successful men…
Finally,
Throw a charity function for $200/plate and you’ll get different people than if you were, say, running a free soup kitchen, wouldn’t you agree?
Good luck and Vaya con Dios.
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8 Comments »Filed Under Online Dating
Syruptaj.Com » Three Questions from an Online Dating Virgin 1
[...] wrote an interesting post today on Three Questions from an Online Dating VirginHere’s a quick [...]
Dating Sites » Three Questions from an Online Dating Virgin 2
[...] Evan Marc Katz wrote an interesting post today on Three Questions from an Online Dating VirginHere’s a quick excerptSo, my questions are these: (1) You suggested a 6-month subscription to an online dating service. Clearly the odds of success are better the longer… [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, … [...]
Singles Dating » Three Questions from an Online Dating Virgin 3
[...] Evan Marc Katz wrote an interesting post today on Three Questions from an Online Dating VirginHere’s a quick excerptHi Evan, Im new to the online dating thing. So, my questions are these: (1) You suggested a 6-month subscription to an online dating service. Clearly the odds of success are better the longer… [[ This is a content summary only. … [...]
JimmyE 4
One thing you might not realise before subscribing is how long-winded online dating can be. If you write to someone, it’ll normally be at least two weeks before you arrange a first date, and you’ll want to date someone for a few weeks before you take your profile down. Then consider that most online connections fizzle out long before anything happens, and that the first draft of your profile will rarely show you at your best, and your emails and general dating technique could always stand to be improved.
If you are on for less then six months there’s no chance to actually become a better online dater.
alana 5
What are those first 3 comments to this post up there? Are they meta-articles spawned by Evan’s articles? Who’s posting them?
Just curious.
LondonGirl 6
A tip for your readers if they’re doing a lot of paralell emailing/dating – a spreadsheet. That way you can keep track of what they told you and what you told them without having to read through loads of emails.
And as for lots of different sites, maybe – but I’d be inclined to try internet dating AND charity evenings AND random parties you’re invited to AND going to swimming lessons and so on. Trying lots of different things rather than more of the same would probably have a better effect. After all, some people come across well at parties, others online, others in relaxed social situations.
jaclyn 7
To the new online dater -
Please also keep in mind that women are generally swamped with responses when they first join an online dating site. Your profile is listed at the top of men’s searches, and you are likely to receive many responses. It will be a bit overwhelming, and you really shouldn’t sign up to more than one site to start with. After awhile, the number of responses you receive will probably start to slow down, and you will have perfected your initial response email and gotten a good sense of which men are serious (hint: they generally write really long responses that discuss things you wrote about in your profile) and which men are just looking for a one night relationship (they request many additonal pictures and have a really generic email that they send to all attractive women) and then you can consider signing up to another site.
Best of luck!
Sam 8
One thing that is harder about an online-beginning relationship and a real world-beginning relationship is that when you break up with someone you met online, you never hear about him or her again.
If you break up with someone you met at work or through friends you might still hear about the person, since you have mutual friends, but when you end something with an online person that person disappears off the face of the Earth. You don’t have any mutual acquaintances, you don’t work together, your paths never cross. If you really can’t stand each other, it’s good to never see each other again, but if it’s a less tempestuous break up, then . . . it’s a sad thing.
I always wonder about my ex-girlfriends. I wonder how they are doing (regardless of who broke up with whom). It saddens me to have no way of finding out about them.