Comments on: If You Are Short, Fat, Older or An Asian Man, You Must Read This. But Especially If You’re Short.

By: katie

katie — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 02:43:00 +0000

HOWEVER, i do find that i go for tall guys more often than short guys. i am 5′5. my ex was 6′2, and my chinese bf is 5′10, which is still kind of tall for an asian guy. i admit that i have been attracted, on occasion, to a short guy (often asian, as i tend to have a thing for asian guys), but it did feel slightly awkward and i think the short guys didn’t want to date me as much for fear of looking “little” next to me. a lot of them go for impossibly tiny women who are usually 5 feet or below, and 100 lbs or below.
that said, i’m definitely not plus-sized, but i do have a 50’s-style hourglass figure. i think this exacerbates things, as i think a lot of short and skinny men feel intimidated by my curvaceousness (chinese bf who is very slender is an exception).
i agree with the person above who said that african-american men (and also hispanic men) seem to be on the whole, more attracted to ladies who aren’t stick-thin. this is a broad generalization, of course, but it does seem that a lot of white and asian guys have a special preference for small and skinny. guys, what do you say?

By: Lady Nemesis

Lady Nemesis — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 17:57:34 +0000

First of all the artivle never described the demographic of women that were doing the rejecting of the short guy. Were any of them 4′11” Asian chicks? I think that it has more to do with the pool of women he wants to choose from. I would definatly go for a guy who was 5′3” who was a famous book author. Because if he was confident and suave — when you’re in bed your both the same height!

Now, if Mr.5′3” wants to marry me, I’d love to meet him. I’m 5′9” 250 pounds and hot.

So really these guys are diggin thier own graves because they won’t let go of their dream to marry a Heidi Klum.

There are PLENTY of women who would be interested in him. And would be a very good and faithful, sweet wife that cooks and lets him be a man.

I mean all he has to do is carry a gun at all times and know how ot use it I I would be proud as hell to walk down the street with me shortie!

No sympathy given.

By: Valerie

Valerie — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 08:05:29 +0000

While online dating may work for some, 10 years of on/off trying was a bust — either zero in-person chemistry, or a handful of short-term relationships with men who eventually revealed serious personality issues (anger issues, chilling sociopath, closeted gay, etc.). And now that I’m 44, the online thing works against me — in person men guess me about 28-33, then by the time we tell our ages they don’t care — but online, you’re forced to lead with the on-paper negatives (and short men, just try being a woman over 40 in LA, regardless of looks or personality). Similarly, you have the benefit of personality, charm and conversation to overcome shortness; online you’re eliminated with a search-parameter checkbox before you even get a shot.
Funny, but by my mid-30s I started not having a problem with dating guys shorter than 6′. I’m now dating a man who’s around the same height as me (he’s about 5′6″-5′7″). And while there’s a little bit of lean-down when kissing him in heels (mine, not his), the personality fit and chemistry are so spectacular, I couldn’t care less. …And by the way, I met him sitting at the next table at my coffee house. We were both sitting, and after a 20-minute conversation I was too hooked to care about the short thing once he stood up.
Online only works for those who fit within the narrow Desired Parameters. The rest of us have gotta get out there and charm their pants off in person.

By: wanderlust

wanderlust — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 08:18:14 +0000

A Reader - Well since I’m a guy in my 30’s I’m kind of sick of 40+ guys going after younger women too so I’m not going to argue with you on that one lol. It’s hard enough as it is to compete with all the young bucks that go after older women now. I don’t think it’s too odd for a woman to want a guy that is at least a tad taller than her but I estimate what men think is ridiculous is when they narrow it down to an exact number of inches. I mean seriously cmon. Also if the woman is only 5′2″” there’s no reason she needs a guy over 6′. A guy that is 5′8” will still be taller than her, even if she has heels on.

By: A Reader

A Reader — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 05:52:31 +0000

@ Michael and Wanderlust. So what? People don’t choose to get older and there ain’t nothing they can do about that. But when 40+ women complain that men their age chase after younger women, they don’t get any sympathy either. So, again, short guys, suck it up and deal, just like women have to.

By: bdsista

bdsista — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 20:34:52 +0000

EMK, I get the study re: Asian men, but the use of a racial group in an example of short men kinda leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I am African American and first the study refers to Asian men and White women. So are only relationships with White women the ones that we look at in terms of creating a standard? So if a WW doesn’t want an Asian man, then he has an issue? My ex husband was Blasian, Black and Japanese, about my height and attractive. I won’t go into why we didn’t work, but there were other issues, perhaps a 10 yr age gap included. But when I went to San Francisco for an Immigration Law conference, I was approached by a couple of very tall Asians. Mostly Korean. My girlfriend is married to a Chinese guy who is over 6 ft tall. So I would not be inclined to generalize about Asian men, when in fact a lot of Asian men, particularly on the west coast who are 4th generation and on are actually pretty tall. Asians also include Indians and Pakistani’s who are usually 5′7 and up on average.
I will say that I was disturbed that the litmus test seemed to be if the person was in a relationship with WW. I would hope that you are soliciting the business of Black women who are looking for mates as well. If you can get the single Black women aged 30-55 married, you can change demographics and statistics.

As for the short man thing, I am about 5′6″ and I will date a guy who is confident and somewhat built larger than I. i.e. a heavy strong guy. I am pretty curvy and am a bellydancer and believe me, nothing is as bad as the time in college when I hugged the guy I was dating who was real thin, but the same height, and he fell against the wall with a “thud”. Yeah real sexy and I felt oh SO feminine. After that I just couldn’t get jazzed about him. I felt like the hulk around him. You can be short, but you gotta be strong!

By: wanderlust

wanderlust — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 17:17:38 +0000

Michael I agree they seem to conveniently forget that point. Weight control is simple mathematics calories in and calories out, height is something you are born with like your hair or eye color.
There is no fat gene it’s a myth. The reasons sons and daughters are usually fat like their parents is because they are taught the same unhealthy eating habits. I know this from personal experience. Only something like 1 percent of the population have a medical excuse for being overweight.

By: Michael

Michael — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 00:55:40 +0000

And although you can feel free to substitute “older women”, “older men”, “heavier women”, or “Asian men”, I honestly feel that nobody gets a rawer deal than short guys. Heavier women can lose weight. Short men can not gain height. This ought to be repeated until the ladies get this inside their thick heads.

By: A Reader

A Reader — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 20:29:34 +0000

And although you can feel free to substitute “older women”, “older men”, “heavier women”, or “Asian men”, I honestly feel that nobody gets a rawer deal than short guys. Honestly, ladies…You can get your own dishes from the top shelf. You don’t really need to feel "protected" from the dangers of suburbia. And why in God’s name is it important to stand on your tiptoes to kiss a guy? So how about it, women? Is there any legitimate reason not to go out with this amazing, amazing man? ************************************************** Um, dude, I've read this blog enough to know what you would say to any woman who complained about the way men are. You can't change men. Suck it up and deal. So, for you and this short guy, the same. Suck it up and deal. Find someone who likes short men. Not so much fun to hear your advice directed back at you, is it?

By: Scott

Scott — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 10:12:30 +0000

I am a 5′7” male and was never thought twice about my height until I read some of the statistics and commentary (i.e. on this thread) about online dating. It is amazing how men get vilified about being shallow while women judge men based on factors that are completely out of their control. This thread is convincing me to not even enter the online dating world and to focus on meeting women the old fashioned way.. in person… where women are less likely to be so superficial.