Heh. That’s been my experience, as a “girl” (at 38 years old, I really prefer “woman”) nerd. Nothing gets you so much male attention as being a reasonably attractive woman reading “World War Z” on a commuter train in Silicon Valley.

And…I don’t know how it works online, but in terms of 3D interactions, I concur that the direct approach works best with many nerdy guys. My husband and I got together 14 years ago when, during a New Year’s Eve party with mutual friends, he decided to go home. I protested, he said, “Nobody cares if I leave,” and I pushed him up against the nearest wall and said, “Dave. *I* care if you leave.”

He still left…but on his way home he figured a few things out. After MONTHS of me trying the subtle approach. He had missed every signal I threw his way, but he was in no way uninterested….

When it comes to this dastardly shyness, be unbelievably direct. I mean seriously blunt. Get up in his face, shut off his game of Starcraft, grab him by the collar and say: WE SHALL BECOME ONE!!!

Me and ALL of my friends are addicted to computers, my friend has built about a dozen computers, two of which ran him 2500 dollars, another friend has a flashy 4000 gaming laptop and I’m planning to build my own “rig” (got to know the terms girls, rigs are the crazy machines real nerdy gamers build for intense hours of gaming action!!!) soon myself. The point here is, we are the most extroverted nerds possible. Not all nerdy dudes are stuck on blogs or streaming star trek podcasts, but regardless you should approach them ALL with the force of a brickwall with a lambourgini’s engine.

For example: me and my close pals run around my highschool (yep, best advice straight from the frontier of the hormonious teenagers) chanting all of the Internet Menes and yelling like wackjobs while sprinting to class. Needing is not a kind of person, it is a culture in itself and must be carefully approached during intimate negotiations but met strongly during the introductory phase!

My final point is: if being a need (as stated) is some kind of way of life, even if your lifestyle is different, should always be met with the strongest form of yourself. There is a fine tuned and specifically cultured man in the people you try to date, but you can only bring them out if you push to be EXACTLY who you are as well. These nerds you see are always in tactical retreat, well guess what? LEAVE NO SURVIVORS and grab that sexy videogamin’ freak and tear out who he really is by showing what you can do as well.

I hope I have made myself clear as my ultra nerd HD screen, and yes, this kind of “offensive dating” will work, but just remember: the best chance at snagging that guy’s love is when you first meet him.

Side note…

Evan,
I just wanted to say that as a young girl with Asperger’s Syndrome, your blog has helped me immensely. In the past, when I liked a guy, I would always end up scaring him off by being socially inappropriate and not picking up on his non verbal cues. I mean, people love me once they get to know me, but naturally, my Asperger’s tends to sabotage the whole ”getting to know me” part because it’s not in my nature to understand how to behave.

However, I have recently read your blog all the way through, and thanks to your advice, I now stand a chance at having a relationship with a boy. If it weren’t for your simple guidelines and wisdom, I would be totally lost. So thank you!