3 Priceless Dating Tips To Attract the Right Men

3 Priceless Dating Tips To Attract the Right Men

Last night was a special event. Hundreds of women in the greater Los Angeles area took time out of their busy schedules to learn 3 Priceless Dating Tips That Will Repel the Wrong Men, Attract the Right Men and Make You Feel Infinitely Better Than You Do Today.

It was a banner event that included 5 answers about why it’s so hard to meet the right men, 3 priceless dating tips, an interview with a former client who’s gone through my program, and, finally, an invitation to join my “Be the CEO” Dating Bootcamp – Live From Los Angeles, which begins on Saturday, April 23rd and runs through Wednesday, May 18th.

Wait, what?!

There’s all this stuff going on that I didn’t even tell you about? That doesn’t sound cool. It’s like finding out that all of your friends were at a party to which you weren’t even invited.

So here’s my thinking:

First, this is something I’ve wanted to do for a long period of time – the ability to work with clients in person and create an intimate group of smart, strong, successful women going through a one-month program together. The problem with a one-month-program, of course, is that it virtually eliminates the possibility of anyone outside of Los Angeles joining. It really doesn’t make much sense to fly to LA every other Wednesday night, does it? I didn’t think so.

So this “Be the CEO” Dating Bootcamp – Live From Los Angeles – is ultimately a test run. I wanted to put together a thoughtful, personal, comprehensive event that offered the best in dating advice, personal attention, and fun. I’ve already had a bunch of women sign up right after the initial teleseminar and am excited to get the group started in a few weeks.

Presuming all goes well, I’ll figure out how to run this bootcamp in other big cities – maybe even with your help! But first things first, I’m looking for 10 smart women in LA who are ready for big change.

What about that free 3 Priceless Dating Tips teleseminar? Why didn’t I tell you about that previously? Again, it had to do with getting 10 women from LA registered right away. It’s not that you don’t stand to benefit from the same dating tips, but rather that the point of the teleseminar was to inspire Los Angeles women to take action and become the CEO of their love lives. It doesn’t make as much sense if you have to fly from New York to LA once a week for four weeks

But since I’m a sucker – and you know I like teaching you as much as I can – I took the liberty to record this event and will replay it for you, for free.

When I ask you to embody your CEO energy, all I’m telling you to do is summon your greatest innermost confidence when it comes to dating.

Just click below to listen to a replay of my “3 Priceless Dating Tips That Will Repel the Wrong Men, Attract the Right Men and Make You Feel Infinitely Better Than You Do Today” and – if you are anywhere within driving distance of LA I’d love to see you in the “Be the CEO” Dating Bootcamp.

And if your first reaction is “Be the CEO?” “Bootcamp?” “That sounds very – um – masculine,” I completely get where you’re coming from. Maybe it sounds like the male dating coach is trying to put together some live-ass-kicking where he berates you into better dating behavior like a drill sergeant in an 80’s military movie.

Not quite.

As you may know, “Being the CEO” of your own love life is one of my central coaching themes. It doesn’t mean being difficult or bitchy or masculine or playing games. When I ask you to embody your CEO energy, all I’m telling you to do is summon your greatest innermost confidence when it comes to dating.

If you are the CEO of your own small company with great perks, long-term benefits, and potential tenure, you can begin to see each new man is just an intern applying for a job with you. That gives you all the power. Since there’s only one job opening available, you’re going to be pretty selective about who gets that one coveted internship.

As a CEO, you don’t spend any time worrying about what the intern thinks, because it doesn’t matter. YOU’RE the boss. YOU determine whether he gets hired. His future at your company is up to YOU and depends entirely on his EFFORTS. If he has a great resume, but doesn’t do the consistent work to get (and maintain) a long-term position, you fire him and bring in another intern.

The intern who wants the job most may not be the one with the best resume; he’ll be the one who is willing to work for it. He shows up early. He stays late. He really, really wants the job. If he doesn’t earn the position of boyfriend, you let him go with no fanfare. If no interns are currently impressing, the job remains open indefinitely until you find the right fit for this prestigious one-of-a-kind position. Better to have no intern than a bad intern who disappoints you on a daily basis.

The CEO metaphor is the best example I’ve got for how to date successfully – especially in Los Angeles – land of insecurity, social climbers, dreamers, and flakes.

When you’re the CEO, you don’t have to chase down some guy because he runs a Silicon Beach startup or is the executive producer of his own cable show. You just sit back, observe his efforts and treat him the same as you’d treat any other person in the entire world – with kindness, humor and compassion.

No fear, no wariness. Just show him why he’d be smart to get in on the ground floor of your company and pay attention to how seriously he’s taking this job.

That’s how easy it can be – if you learn how to feel like a CEO from the inside out.

In less than a month, I’m going to take you from where you are now – confused, frustrated, and a little jaded – and turn you into a man magnet and dating machine.

    • Soon, you will get over the pain in your past, embrace the present and date with inner confidence to attract the best men.

    • Soon, you will crush the fear and inertia that have been holding you back from putting yourself out there in an authentic and vulnerable way.

    • Soon, you will have quality men lining up to take you out on thoughtful, generous weekend dates.

    • Soon, you will know exactly how to best handle the check, the good night kiss, the after-date text, what men think about sex, and the optimal method for dating multiple men at once.

    • Soon, you will be the CEO of your love life, and systematically reject any immature, narcissistic, flaky, damaged, selfish male intern who doesn’t make an effort or doesn’t want to commit.

By the time you are done with my “Be the CEO” Dating Bootcamp, you will either have a boyfriend or know how to get a boyfriend – without the anxiety, fear, sadness, drama and confusion you usually associate with dating.

I hope that sounds good to you, because I do not make promises I can’t keep.

This is my most powerful dating material – previously only available in Love U – and, for the first time, I’m doing it LIVE from Los Angeles.

The fact is – as much as I believe in eBooks, video courses, and recorded phone calls, there is no substitute for the in-person experience.

Just like the difference between talking to a man on the phone and meeting him for a date, when you and I get together in person, there’s an entirely different chemistry.

Fun. Emotion. Anticipation. Joy. Surprise. Laughter. And yes, probably a few tears as well.

If you’ve read my blogs, newsletters and eBooks, believe me, there is no comparison with how different this material will feel in real life.

In less than a month, I’m going to take you from where you are now – confused, frustrated, and a little jaded – and turn you into a man magnet and dating machine.

Doing powerful dating exercises. Telling funny dating stories. Practicing flirting. Making intimate friends. Being vulnerable. Feeling excited and empowered. Eating and drinking heavily, courtesy of yours truly.

If the idea of making a close bunch of single girlfriends in LA, spending 15 hours with over lunch, dinner and drinks, and reinventing how you approach dating in LA sounds appealing to you, click here to learn more about “Be the CEO” Dating Bootcamp.

Those who sign up right now will get 4 bonus hours of audio coaching worth nearly $400 on topics including Insecurity, Courtship, Online Dating Profiles and Bad Behavior vs. Misunderstood Behavior.

That’s a LOT of value to help supplement your Bootcamp education.

Remember, I am only taking TEN women from all of Los Angeles, first come, first served.

Based on the early feedback I’ve gotten, that may mean that if you don’t register now, you may not be able to register tomorrow.

Sorry about that, but that’s what happens when you restrict a program for smart, motivated women to only ten people – you get the best of the best up front.

Thanks so much for your time today.

I can’t wait to meet you in person and finally show you the path to lasting love!

Warmest wishes, your friend,

Evan

P.S. You know what I did when I needed to make a change? I created this bootcamp.

Now it’s your turn to take bold action to get happy.

My “Be the CEO” Dating Bootcamp starts on Saturday, April 23rd, don’t miss out.

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Comments:

  1. 1
    ScottH

    What you said about lots of imperfect people mated and seemingly happy has been ringing in my ears all day.  Another thing I read recently has me worried since I’m well over 40: “As you age past 40, the percentage of the dating pool that is able to form a secure, stable relationship drops to less than 30%”  Now I’m wondering how defective my thinking has been.

    Evan- you might like this book.  Another quote that made me think of you:  “Many people expect to experience an immediate sense of excitement, an overwhelming rush of attraction, and to fall in love rapidly and equally with someone who feels the same. This rarely happens, and when it does it usually ends badly! And expecting it will cause you to let go of people who are steady, loving, and attentive, if you had given them a chance. So once you’ve identified someone who makes you laugh, answers your messages, and is there for you when you want them, don’t make the mistake of tossing them aside for the merely good-looking, sexy, or intriguing stranger.”

    http://www.amazon.com/Bad-Boyfriends-Attachment-Theory-Partner/dp/0991663624/ref=pd_sim_14_5?ie=UTF8&dpID=518V78lduIL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR100%2C160_&refRID=101GZFZ4NET25P8X3K76

    1. 1.1
      DeeGee

      ScottH said: “As you age past 40, the percentage of the dating pool that is able to form a secure, stable relationship drops to less than 30%”

      I can honestly believe this.
      And if I recall correctly, the statistics for second marriage failure is higher than first marriage failure.  So what does that say?  Most people don’t learn from their past mistakes?  People become fixed in their personalities and lifestyles?

      I have also personally experienced this with every woman I have dated since my divorce in 1995.  They often have abusive ex-husbands (because so many women like bad boys), or they are looking for a man who will take over their enormous debt for them.  And many of them simply have not gotten over their ex and are bitter and difficult to live with.

      The vast majority of women seek comfort over integrity, and will always choose comfort over integrity.
      This is a big red flag that I learned to actively look for when dating, since it means that the woman will be unbearable to live with.
      Sure, there are some women who do not fall into this category, but finding one is like finding a unicorn.
      I’m not saying all men have integrity either.  But if a man has integrity, yet he does not meet sufficient points on her list (wealth, house, height, looks, fame, etc.) she will pass over him even if he has good integrity.  This all plays into the typical “where have all of the good men gone” that women love to say.  Those men are right here, it’s just that women have unrealistic standards when it comes to what they want in a man.

      Why do you think women want a wealthy husband?  They choose comfort over integrity.
      Why do you think women want a man who already owns a nice home and has a nice car?  They want to be able to simply walk into comfort without having to spend any of their own time or energy or finances working for it.
      Why do you think women are constantly redecorating their homes and going far into debt.  Comfort over integrity.
      Why do you think women initiate the majority of divorces and are assigned a good portion of property and usually alimony “she must be able to continue living at the level she is accustomed to”.  Comfort over integrity.
      Yet few people if ever address this with women, and tell them that their goals and expectations and standards are unreasonable.

      The majority of women who are in their 40’s and beyond still hold to this belief that comfort is superior to integrity.  They will always sell out their integrity for comfort.  That is why it is an unending circle for them.  Many men won’t date them because of that.  And if they do find a man, they are often so unbearable to live with that the relationship will end, or if they were married they will get divorced again, for the second or third time.

      I’m sure many NAWALTs will attack what I’m saying.  If they do, then they simply put up blinders and didn’t read what I said.  There are women out there who do prize integrity over comfort, but they are like finding a unicorn.
      In the 54 years that I have been on planet Earth, I have only seen a very small number of them, that I can probably count on only one hand.  Unfortunately for me, they were already taken.

      1. 1.1.1
        Evan Marc Katz

        “There are women out there who do prize integrity over comfort, but they are like finding a unicorn.”

        You are getting tiresome, man. You can literally say the same thing – and worse – about men, who value youth and beauty over all internal characteristics. Seriously, give it a rest.

        1. Jess

          i feel like all ive learned lately on this blog is that men don’t really like women. most only admit it when they can be anonymous. thanks emk for helping me figure out my dating dilemma. im done with men.

        2. DeeGee

          Evan Marc Katz said: “You can literally say the same thing – and worse – about men

          Which I did.  I’ll quote what I wrote above:
          I’m not saying all men have integrity either.

          Don’t worry, I won’t bother posting here any more since it is apparent that you do not have a balanced view or approach.

      2. 1.1.2
        Adreana

        If you want a “NAWALT” you have to be a “NAMALT”.

        Stop chasing after the beauty queens with a lot of options and try approaching regular women. Would a you date a woman with average looks just because she has integrity?

        Yeah right! 🙂

        As for the “bad boy ” thing, I have known many men that couldn’t stop chasing after the “bad girls” because they are hot  and unavailable. … Now, Integrity  is nice but isn’t sufficient  on it’s own. Even your  friends have more qualities than that.

        Even- I’d be interested in knowing your opinion on “high-maintenance” women. I read a study recently saying they were much luckier in love the low-maintenance types. Apparently, the attractive but earthy types get passed over for the attractive , “glamourous”, dressy types.

        This is contrary to what I believed all these years, but I finding it to be true.

        1. Evan Marc Katz

          Adreana, you’re conflating a few different issues:

          Men don’t like high maintenance women. They like high self-esteem women. They sometimes overlap but they are not the same. High maintenance women are, in general, a pain in the ass. High self esteem women have confidence and boundaries. Men respect women with confidence and boundaries. Thus, the perception you mentioned. Men are willing to PUT UP with high maintenance women because they have self-esteem and because they take the time to present themselves well.

          It’s really no different than women falling for cocky guys with great bodies who turn out to be assholes. They’re not “luckier in love.” They’re just more attractive than men with low self esteem and poor presentation skills. Quite predictably.

        2. No More

          With all due respect to you Evan, I admire you for fighting the good fight every day and really trying to help women live the lives that they want. Good luck to them but I no longer chose to live in a fantasy world and believe that I just “find a good one” I can have that fulfilling equal partnership everyone tries to sell women.

          Lets face it. Men do not want an equal partner in a relationship. Men do not respect their SOs as equals. Men feel entitled to priortize their needs over ours. Men feel entitled to make no attempt to stay faithful when an opportunity presents itself and blame it on their biology. Men still primary value women for sex. This is just how men are, I accept that. But I chose not to play anymore.

        3. Evan Marc Katz

          Let’s keep this simple.
          You are wrong.
          You described men.
          I am a man.
          I am not like that.
          None of my married friends are like that.
          Thus, you’re only describing the men you choose, not all men.

        4. Adreana

          Thank you, Evan! .)

          It’s confusing to me because I always thought being too dressy =Unapproachable.  I always put an effort into looking good, but I’m more of a jeans and casual top kinda gal.

          Last time I stopped by the grocery store before a night out feeling “overdressed”, but several men went out of their way to talk to me. Now I regret making fun my friend for high heels to pick up milk! 🙂

          I get your point about confidence and high maintenance sometimes overlapping.

          No more, the guys on these blogs aren’t an accurate representation of ALL men.  Don’t let a few lonely, bitter types make you miss out on YOUR guy!

           

    2. 1.2
      Emily, the original

      ScottH,

      I found your post interesting and looked up the book you referenced. It said something like 50% of the population has a secure attachment style. Does that seem high to you? Are there that many well-adjusted people out there?  🙂

      “Many people expect to experience an immediate sense of excitement, an overwhelming rush of attraction, and to fall in love rapidly and equally with someone who feels the same.”

      Surely, you should feel SOME of that, shouldn’t you? I mean, if you go out with someone and you feel absolutely nothing, but they seem pleasant and keep contacting you, is that enough to move forward?

      1. 1.2.1
        ScottH

        Emily-  Evan did a review of the book Attached a little while back and stated that 50% of the population is secure.  I couldn’t believe it either and did some googling and found out that, indeed, the 50% number is right.   And since most of those people stay coupled, the 30% number for people over 40 makes sense too.  I have to wonder if the number is actually smaller than 30%.  (I tend to be skeptical.)  That means us older people are going to bump into a lot of hazards in the dating pool, hence the need for people like Evan.

        1. Emily, the original

          Scott H,

          I don’t know that, just because someone is over 40 and married, that proves the person is securely attached and in a healthy relationship. Certainly a lot of people stay locked in a bad marriage for years. Or that someone who isn’t married in middle age is somehow damaged. People get married later in life for all kinds of reasons. Some are cause for red flags, some are not.

          I took the quiz and found it interesting that the book was dead on in terms of some of my attachment patterns. Also, that we sometimes attract what we are.

  2. 2
    ScottH

    Emily

    The way the math works out, half of the population is secure and they tend to stay married so the population of secure and single people our age is much less than the general population of secures as we age.   Some secures do marry non-secure people and divorce.  Generally, they stay married but there are always exceptions.  And widow(ers) too.

    I read a great article on Huffington Post about attracting what we are:  “the only person you meet in a relationship is yourself.”  That means I’m a psycho mess.  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/erin-henry/commitment-phobic_b_1140805.html

    1. 2.1
      Emily, the original

      ScottH,

      “That means I’m a psycho mess.”    LOL   I don’t know about you, but I sure as hell don’t want to date myself! I was hoping to meet someone who had more of his shit together!  🙂

      Let me ask you this: What makes you ask a woman out? I mean, in real life. Maybe she’s someone you work with or have met through friends. So you wouldn’t be approaching a complete stranger. Is chemistry/attraction a factor? How high does it have to be? Have there been women you liked but didn’t ask out because the attraction was too low? (This goes back to the quote you posted about how some people want to be knocked over with excitement.)

      1. 2.1.1
        ScottH

        Emily- yes, I think you should be intrigued by the person and there should be excitement  and a strong desire to want to get to know the person better.  Evan talks a lot about how the chemistry should be a 7 and compatibility a 10 rather than chemistry 10 and compatibility 4.   As he rightly says, we should be careful of being blinded by chemistry.  I think the components of chemistry changes a lot as we age though.  I’m no longer hot for the hot ones.   Physically, I just want someone who is average looking or better and does their best to present themselves well and takes care of their body.  She also has to be sharp witted, nice and thoughtful, strong, emotionally composed and will not react to me as if I caused her past emotional pain (transference which has happened too many times).  She needs to have a high Relationship IQ which is very rare, in my experiences.

        What makes me ask a woman out?    I meet most of my women through online dating and meetups and an occasional setup.  For me to ask them out, we have to click.  What does click mean?  I have to sense that she is interested in me and I do this by evaluating her body language;  yes, she needs to be decent looking; the initial conversation needs to be somewhat captivating such that I want it to continue.  We both feel like we want to continue getting to know each other.  Usually it’s the little gleam in their eye when they look at or talk to me or the extended glance (a dead giveaway that she’s interested).  I need to feel engagement from her.  At one meetup, I was talking to a very attractive woman about Gilligans Island and we were having a lot of fun talking about it.  She was obviously interested in seeing me again and it was mutual.  The signs were very easy to read and I followed up and dated her for a month before  it became apparent that we didn’t have enough common values for the long haul (i.e.,the crazy came out).  Getting the initial conversation going takes a little bit of luck/skill/practice but with experience, it’s not hard.  I would suggest reading more about “Imago” from Harville Hendrix in Getting The Love You Want or search online.

        Now, I just had a relationship end because the chemistry wasn’t as high as she thought it should be.  She told me that she was trying very hard because, on paper, we were such a good match and I’m such a great guy (blushing).  She said that there was enough chemistry for us to last 5 months but it wasn’t as much as she wanted for the long haul.  I was doing my best to have the relationship grow gradually instead of having it come on with a big fireworks display like usual and maybe I choked it off too much but my appreciation for her was slowly and gradually growing.  She was a great girl.   it felt like it was the healthiest one I’ve had so far.  Back into the pond.

      2. 2.1.2
        Adrian

        Emily,

        I agree with ScottH.

         

        If we are talking about approaching a complete stranger, then since men don’t know her, everything is based off of looks.

         

        But a person you know, or know of; then it would be her looks plus! As ScottH said, the plus could be her personality or it could be just that we think she is interested, but there has to still be a baseline of attraction.

         

        Though work is tricky, because most people don’t like to poop where they sleep if you know what I mean. If things go wrong, it could be years of working with someone who makes your work environment uncomfortable. Or if someone new comes into the picture (as only a friendly co-worker) rumor and jealousy could hurt your relationship as well as your career.

        1. Emily, the original

          Hi Adrian,

          How attracted to her do you have to be to ask her out? A level 10 is someone who knocks you over. A level 0 is someone who reminds you of your sister.

          Have you experienced a level 10? How often? What does it feel like? Did you date the woman?

        2. Adrian

          Emily,

          I have never once met a 10. Of course to be fair, I have my own personal rating scale, so I don’t believe 10s naturally exist. I believe love is the missing ingredient that makes a woman a 10 in my book, so no matter how hot she is, she can’t be a 10 without mutual love.

           

          As far as approaching, in my shy but arrogant youth (something that I am definitely ashamed of) , I never approached. As I mentioned on another post, I resemble the actor Tom Welling, and during the show Smallville’s run I got lots of attention. The few girlfriends I had, all approached me, though after the initial approach, I did all the courting.

           

          Now that I am older and more humble/mature, I don’t need her to be a supermodel to get my attention. Actually, I have seen women that society would consider below average looking, but they knew how to dress well, or had a beautiful smile-catch my attention.

        3. Lucy

          Tom Welling is hawt

        4. Emily, the original

          Adrian,

          I meant a level 10 in terms of chemistry and attraction. Not a “10” in terms of appearance. To me, those are two totally different things.

  3. 3
    Emily, the original

    ScottH,

    Sorry to hear about your break-up. Sometimes I feel that, with all the factors that have to line up just right, it is a miracle any relationships happen at all. But then, people get together everyday, so there is hope.

    I like to feel at least a 5 level of chemistry before I accept a date. Maybe that’s too much to expect, but it’s hard to want to get up and do hair, makeup, clothes, etc. for much less than that.

    I like that you wrote you try to gauge a woman’s interest. A lot of men don’t do that. I can tell when a man is throwing out the bait, and if I am interested, I will throw it back at him. I will pick up the cue. Maybe he asks what I do on the weekends or mentions a concert he has tickets for and wonders if I like that kind of music. I don’t mind the initial “feeel-out,” but I don’t like it when a man does that continually. Perhaps I see him at a meet-up every few weeks, and he keeps trying, so the meet-up becomes uncomfortable. There’s friendly … and then there’s FRIENDly .

     

     

     

  4. 4
    Stacy

    In my experience I feel like most men like ‘down to earth hot’…in other words, you have a pretty face, nice body but you don’t look overly made up and that you try too hard. At least that has been my experience.

    I have tried dating men I did not have high chemistry for (let’s say, chemistry around a 4 to 5) and it never ever works out.  Marriage is a long time. So I agree with Evan that the chemistry has to be high enough (say a 7 at least) to the point where you don’t feel you are compromising on looks and you are sufficiently attracted at the prospect of sleeping with your intended at some point.  Chemistry, IMO, only becomes dangerous when that is all you can focus on while not putting enough value on his other qualities.

    The man I am dating is hot.  The chemistry is probably an 8 or 9. He feels the same for me.  However, Although he is tall, dark and handsome, he is also kind, considerate, a body of a God, intelligent, hard working, respectful, etc…he is 39 years old and I am 38. He is awesome. Yes, these men are still out there.  I have kids and he doesn’t.  The thing is, in spite of all his great qualities, I am ready and willing to walk away if I see any dealbreakers and even at my age.  I think that makes the difference on why he is so attached to me.  I see myself as a prize.

    But I will say that I believe most men value looks above everything else AT FIRST. When I was online dating, I never had a written profile. I just had my pictures and my stats.  I am not exaggerating…in the first week, I had close to 400 emails from all types of men.  I keep myself up physically as it is a high priority for me. Even with kids and at 38 years old, I was still able to pull em because of my looks. However, I know that looks are far from self sustaining so I am sure if I had shown myself to be a dingbat, I probably would not have had men that enthusiastic after conversing with me (or seeing me as a potential pump and dump in their heads).

    1. 4.1
      mgm531

      “But I will say that I believe most men value looks above everything else AT FIRST.”

      Nope.  Can’t agree with that statement.  As a man I will take a cute woman with a great personality over a stunning beauty that can’t hold a conversation to save her life.  I’ll make that trade any day of the week.

      1. 4.1.1
        Stacy

        If you read my entire post, you would see that I agreed with you.

        And whether cute or stunning, the looks will draw you in at FIRST…in my 38 years on this earth, I have never met a man who didn’t first go by what he sees.  However, I have met tons of women who tried to allow attraction to grow over time.

        By the way, nowhere in my post did I say that looks are more important than personality.

      2. 4.1.2
        Adreana

        mgm,

        I think it depends on the man and his need for approval. If a guy hasn’t gotten over past rejections/being overlooked by hot women, he will gladly date the hot ( but empty)  girl everyone gawks, over the cute woman with an interesting personality.

        To that guy, getting that girl is a big “f*ck you” to all the past hotties that rejected him, and all the other “alpha” guys that get the girls. It’s a way for him to  reconcile with his “old self” that never got anywhere with women.

        So, yes all men are visual, but the difference is one is so used feeling invisible that all it takes is a stunning woman to make him happy, the other man knows beauty alone isn’t sufficient ( and ironically, he’s the one that gets more attention).

    2. 4.2
      Adreana

      Stacy,

      Lucky girl! Thanks for showing us there are awesome men like that 🙂

    3. 4.3
      ScottH

      Not sure that I agree that men value looks.  I think it’s more nuanced than that.  Yes, when we’re thumbing through pages of profiles, it’s the main profile picture that is critical for us to look at the rest of the profile.  Heck, the main profile pic is all the initial information that is provided.  But it is a certain look, one that might be different for each of us, that hooks us in and she certainly might not be the best looking one.  In fact, while intrigued by the most beautiful ones, I usually avoid them like the plague.  Same for the women who are all made up and primped in every picture.  That’s just not me but it might be other guys.

      1. 4.3.1
        Joe

        I think you’re right–it’s pretty much established that men have a much lower threshold of attractiveness than women do for writing to the opposite sex online.  If it was all about looks–at first–why would that be?  Just that men have lower standards?

        1. Emily, the original

          Joe,

          I think Ok Cupid did a study recently that determined women found 80 percent of men below average-looking. That doesn’t make statistical sense because 49 percent would be below average-looking, but the point was that women are picky. Men may value appearance more but they find a larger percentage of women attractive.

        2. Joe

          Isn’t that basically what I said?

        3. Emily, the original

          Joe,

          I thought this was a forum to encourage dialogue and understanding. I guess you aren’t interested in doing that.

      2. 4.3.2
        N

        Interesting ScottH.

        My profile pic is a photo of my kayak. I have one rather unimpressive full body pic. I didn’t type anything on About me.

        I was thumbing profiles when I saw a profile pic of a man wearing a helmet in dirt bike. No info on his profile either. We both swiped right.

        We chatted endlessly and met within 48 hours. Now, I’m not your statuesque hot brunette that stops traffic. I’m your average 50% Asian, 25% Castillian Spanish, the rest French and English.

        That said, IMO what men perceive as hot or attractive is subjective. My transitional man does plastic surgery for a living and professionally created some of the hottest women in town 🙂 He knows what is hot and attractive. When I asked him why he swiped right his answer, he prefers Asian chick. Yes, we value looks; however, the looks that we value is based on our personal taste, what’s pleasing to our eyes.

        When he asked me why I swiped right sans head shot and profile info; my response, the dirt bike up in the air! I like athletic, adventurous men. And the dirt bike pic looked like he was having fun! Ironically, instead of talking about extreme sports we gabbed about metaphysics and the New Age 🙂 N.

         

  5. 5
    Richard

    Hello Emily

     

    I response to your comment regarding the OkCupid study, yes there was such a study and that’s what it found. It’s strange, I was talking about that very subject to a friend on mine a few eveningd ago. He pointed out that he felt that I prioitised looks too highly, having never had a proper girlfriend before (beairng in mind I’ll be twenty-eight next week!) and that I should maybe ignore or diminish the importance of initial physical attraction. I pointed out to him that I find at least two of every three attractive, possibly closer to three of every four! Study imitates life!

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