Do You Know What a Man Expects out of a First Date?

Do you know what a man expects out of a first date?

Have you ever bothered to ask him?

If you’re a female reader, please share some of the things you’ve done on first dates that you feel ensure a second date.

If you’re a male reader, please share with us what your date can do to ensure a second date.

If you’re serious about securing that second date, you’ll want to check out my Finding the One Online CD series. Click here to learn more.


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  1. 61
    Slim Pickens

    Uh, I was being faceitous Thomas. Actually I don’t know what my success rate would be, until recently I was happily married. Technically still am for a couple more months. And then I’ll be both available, but I’ll also be 50. I have a feeling the random pickup thing works better for younger folks. We’ll see.

  2. 62

    slim, just keep your eye out

    When a woman locks eyes with you and will not let it break, go for it. I have been out where the woman knocked people over, ran into poles, and crashed into other objects because she had locked eyes with me and was not paying attention to where she was going. Her body maybe pointed one direction, but her head and eyes will always be pointed at you.

    50, who cares. The only one that cares is you. Nobody else cares. Go out and have a good time and be happy with the way things are. Do not fake the happiness, just be grateful with what you got. When others see that you are happy, they want to join in. Be happy that you have lived to be 50 and look forward to the next 50 years and the things that you will accomplish.

    Now, I hope that I have the same attitude when I reach 50 that I have today.

  3. 63

    Half a century old women are fun to have around!…

  4. 64
    Slim Pickens

    Heh, I can honestly say I’ve never in my life had a woman knocking things while staring at me. But occasionally someone has stared at me. Since I’ll soon be in a position to stare back we’ll have to test your theory there Thomas.

    I’m with hunter, I will be looking for someone around my own age when I’m set free. I don’t quite get guys my age who chase 20-somethings. I love women my age. That’s a topic for a whole new thread.

  5. 65

    I’m an older woman but look much younger. Therefore I am approached by alot of younger men. Some are professional, some are not. What bothers me is that no matter what economic background they are from, they manage to slip in some kind of curse word which totally turns me off. Makes me wonder if there are any gentlemen left in the world.

  6. 66
    Karl R

    “T” said: (#65)
    “What bothers me is that no matter what economic background they are from, they manage to slip in some kind of curse word which totally turns me off. Makes me wonder if there are any gentlemen left in the world.”

    If you define a “gentleman” as someone who does not use curse words, you will find very few who meet that description.

    You may have better luck if you address the issue directly. Instead of saying that you’re looking for a “gentleman”, say that you’re looking for someone who doesn’t curse. If a date curses in your presence, ask him not to.

    But if you just go looking for a “gentleman”, you will find lots of people who define the term differently than you.

  7. 67

    Good point, well taken and thank-you. Maybe I’m old school but I believe anyone with proper breeding whether male or female (At least I was taught)..knows that there is a proper time when to use profanity. I’m not saying that I’ve never cursed before, but I usually refrain until I get to know a person. I tend to think that first impressions last. However, while speaking up is something that I will consider, often times I don’t stay around long enough to waste my energy on the “unbred”. LOL..that’s callous isn’t?

  8. 68
    Kurt S.

    I like to see whether a woman is classy, attentive, and appreciative.  It is amazing how many women go on dates expecting a guy to “wow” them, but don’t feel as though they have to make a similar impression on the guy.  Some women expect a man to exhibit classic chivalry, yet the women don’t behave like ladies.  For example, I once went on a couple dates with a woman I had met on eHarmony and she actually complained on the first date that men weren’t chivalrous because most didn’t pull out a woman’s chair at a restaurant, etc.  However, this woman didn’t act ladylike because she showed up late, complained about all of the people she thought had screwed her over, swore like a sailor, dropping many “f” bombs, never thanked me for purchasing dinner, and didn’t pay for anything despite the fact that she was working at a big accounting firm and probably made $100k herself.  She did some other annoying stuff I won’t even mention, but suffice it to say, she was the most awful woman I have ever been on a date with in my life.

  9. 69

    Im 24, not a pro dater, but been on a few.. im a lady, and i guess i expect ladies to be polite, and have a sense of “class”- good manners are never looked down upon..

    Im kind of shy, but what makes me really like a guy, is if they can make me laugh.. i have a “guy sense of humor”… so when you crack a stupid joke, and theres any kind of pun hidden in there, im trying not to laugh toooo hard..
    Bring me out of my shell, just a tad, and i will soooo ask you out for another date!

    with that being said, referring to the ladies spilling TMI, the same goes for the guys! Most tell just enough to get me curious, but there has been 1 or 2, that told me way too much, and at that moment, i knew it wasnt going to a 2nd date. blame it on nerves if you want, but i do not want to know about how huge your ex’s boobs were, or how she woke you up, with a good morning bj.

    we all have our 1st date expectations, i do not expect a guy to be perfect, thats setting yourself up.. i have a date in 6 days, and im taking him out! its 2012, if a girl asks you out, before you get the chance to ask her, odds are, shes seen something she likes…

  10. 70

    My best advice on a date whether the 1st,2nd, or 20th is just be yourself and it will always be appreciated.

    1. 70.1

      ..suppose I am hard to get along with?(an A-hole)..

  11. 71

    I have never heard such utter nonsensical fiction in my life. Aside from Psychology class, studying Personality Disorders
    There’s a massive reason why you’d not get a first date from a decent woman and that’s because we’d never listen to that Much crap unless we were getting paid.
    Seems more likely that you seek the damsels so that you can get affirmation that you are stronger (mentally) than them 
    I.agree with the statement “youve to be great company, pleasant, fun, appreciative and treat a.little like an interview … Only divulge the same information you wouldnt mind your boss knowing

  12. 72

    Dating should be fun. Please don’t bore me with childhood stories of trauma and devastation. The first date should be light, interactive, and the intrigue needs to last past this date. If there is nothing left to learn about you, game over.

  13. 73

    I have been dating for 6 months . One after another horrible !! Experiences. I am 37 years old and I started with 37,40,45 now I am up to 47-50 year old man. First dates are great, everyone presents themselves with a beautiful persona, personality, qualities , I will say probably up to the second / third date. Suddenly, I found out they are either marriage, odd stories, some of them they do not know how to calculate math. Their stories and times are not part of their long term memory lie process. Also, most of them they want to go to bed on the second or third date, keep calling me beauty, you are so hot and I absolutely hate it!! So, I move on. I agreed with many of the comments here, where we women we need to focus on ” who are you across the table” vs ” I want you to like me” . Nevertheless , I am super confidence in my dates and open person to talk to, well manner and able to carry on a conversation laughing or being silly ! I find it super hard to find the right guy still. I do not project the wrong impression because I see the first dates as I am meeting a friend type of thing. Absolutely just being myself! Now in a few days, I am meeting up this beautiful guy, that I have been talking to and my thoughts of being one more like them ,it’s killing me. I do not want to give any negative thoughts but it’s so hard, after so many bad experiences. i do agreed that some women they take the dating experiences as a boost to their selfesteen meeting a different guy every week or weekend. But what about those who we are really looking to find the good one and we have expectations with good secure self esteem?? I hope this next date goes well and not more dishonest guys up there. I need to reverse the ” ok let’s see what you are going to lie about” vs ” let me get to know you and see who are you? “

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