Are All Women Crazy? Are All Men Obsessed With Sex?

Dear Evan,

Why are most men the same man… just in different vessels?

Kami

This question was sent to me by a friend as a joke, which is exactly why I’m printing it here.

There is that perception that “men” are one way, and “women” are another. Most people focus almost exclusively on these stereotypes and find evidence to support them.

So, if we listen to conventional wisdom, what do we know about men? Well…

Men are liars
Men are fools
Men are dangerous
Men are idiots
Men are pigs

You know how I got these nuggets of wisdom about men?

Google. IMDB. Amazon.

Look around. You’ll see.

These are concepts – book titles, even – that only go to reinforce our basest stereotypes. And the danger of stereotypes is not that they’re false – but rather in believing that they’re always true.

And if such stereotypes are to be roundly believed, what do they tell us about men?

Men cannot be trusted.
Men are lazy and can’t multi-task
Men are prone to violence
Men are likely to be unfaithful
Men don’t have feelings and don’t express themselves
Men want sex all the time
Men treat women poorly

If you’re a woman, you have probably met a man who was an uncommunicative, sex-obsessed liar.

But I’m wondering if you’ve ever met a man who:

Treated you extremely well
Consistently told you how he felt
Wasn’t as into sex as you were
Never cheated on you
Kept his word when he made a promise
Led a balanced life with work, friends, and cultural interests

I’m guessing you have.

And let’s not forget women’s stereotypes, also found in Google:

Women are evil…
Women are stupid
Women are angry
Women are talkative
Women are crazy
Women are overly sensitive

Right off the bat, I would say that my girlfriend disproves all of these things – except for the talkative one.

Then again, the New York Times just reported this nugget from Science Magazine, which observes that men and women are equally talkative.

The point isn’t that men aren’t into sex or that women aren’t emotional. Many are. Instead, it’s that when you’re dating, you should be dealing with individuals, not stereotypes.

And unless you want to be grouped together with all the others who embody the worst of your gender, you may want to stop treating the opposite sex as a monolithic series of tired clichés.

3
1

Join 7 Million Readers

And the thousands of women I've helped find true love. Sign up for weekly updates for help understanding men.

I hate spam as much as you do, therefore I will never sell, rent, or give away your email address.

Join our conversation (29 Comments).
Click Here To Leave Your Comment Below.

Comments:

  1. 1
    Kami

    I call Bullshit! Lol. You forgot, ‘Men are DOGS!’ Lol. Naw…you’re right – about a few things…but, as a woman who is dating in LA…I’m finding MORE dogs dressed in pig’s clothing than I’d like. I feel that a lot of the male species now believes it’s okay to do as little as possible to benefit the most. Whatever happened to courting a woman? Where is the Woooooo….factor? Hmmmm?

  2. 2
    Hugh

    I think the stereotypes persist in our culture because they reflect the underlying truth ( looking at it from a statistical perspective ).
    I have dated over 300 women in the last two years and have found the stereotypes to be true for 90+ percent of the women I have met. Men are encouraged to exhibit their worst behavior because they get treated so poorly by most of the women they encounter. They get trained to believe that good behavior on their part just makes them suckers to be exploited. This is a vicious cycle with the women then feeling betrayed by the men.
    The solution is to always act with compassion to break the cycle one person at a time.

  3. 3
    Gerry T

    These are some very interesting viewpoints by both men & women. I’m never really shocked when I hear these viewed being expressed because they’re so random and general in their application.

    I’ve found personally through my own research which can be found on http://gerryt.com you’ll be surprise by what real people have to say about all this when they are being interviewed. A must see for anyone who’s interested in romantic relationships!

  4. 4
    juLiette

    yes- aLL women are “crazy” and aLL men Love sex. roLes can be reversed and there are exceptions to every generaLization.

  5. 5
    Lyall Taylor

    Kami,
    Two things: firstly, your post betrays an assumption that many women have – that the man ought to be the one to go to extreme lengths to satisfy the women’s needs/preferences, and to the extent he doesn’t, he is a dog. Do you have any idea how selfish this comes across? Why his he not entitled to focus on his own needs in the same way women always do.

    Secondly, as Hugh has alluded to, women no longer respond to the ‘courting’ guy – that is why it has desolved. Respectful guys get absolutely taken to the cleaners by women. Hugh is absolutely right. The type of guy that women choose to sleep with is the ‘pig’ you’re talking about. I know many, many guys that are not like that, and they have one thing in common: women universally reject them. And I also know a number of guys who think and treat women like nothing more than a piece of ass, and act accordingly, and guess what? They are the ones scoring all the girls.

    Men always get a bad wrap and in many cases it is so undeserved.
    Like men are labelled as superficial in selecting women, being only occupied with looks. Yet there was an article here recently on height, and women will be quite open in acknowledging that “I won’t even date someone shorter than 5’10” ” and that “when I guy is tall, he just makes me feel more feminine” etc.

    Well, seeking tallness is every bit as ‘superficial’ as men seeking beauty, if not more so. Yet women don’t see it like that because they experience the emotion first hand. Do you not think the emotional experience a man has with a beautiful women is every bit as powerful??

    It is time for women to stop blaming men for everything and to start taking some personal responsibility for what is happening out there.

  6. 6
    OD UK

    your just as bad as each other, and anyone blaming an entire type or group obviously havent graspt the fact that the majority of people you meet in life are, most of the time: idots,liars,dogs….whatever you call them, being the fact its men or women is just a coincidence. so grow up you lots!
    oh and yes i am a man, but im not all men!

  7. 7
    hunter

    on Post #2

    ..300 hundred women, in two years?…..OMG!…every mans fantasy!…..how did you do that?……

  8. 8
    vino

    Are All Women Crazy?”
    Yes, redundant.

    “Are All Men Obsessed With Sex?
    Does a bear crap in the woods?

  9. 9
    Hadley Paige

    kAMI @ pst # 1 states: “Whatever happened to courting a woman? Where is the Woooooo.factor?”

    What happened is that the whole deal is off. It used to be Man courted woman to get married. Man spend lots of time and money on woman (passing the test by women to see if he might be a good and attentive provider). Woman got married to man bc of that display. Man assumed head of household and took care of woman and her kids. Woman largely ceded to man decisions outside the home. Woman stayed in home took care of kids and home.

    The feminist movement changed all that. Now women have all the advantages of men in the $$$ arena. (They just need to choose to give themselves over to the marketplace like most men do.)

    So why woo?– As a man, I perceive it as a unfair deal for me. My persepective is that women can’t demand it all, namely wooing by men & equality everwhere else. You have to choose (and let us know which one it is so we don’t waste both our times).

  10. 10
    hunter

    The feminist movement may have changed dating code, but, some therapists say, it isn’t working. Men may have to go back to “Wooing” women.

  11. 11
    cinnamon

    “Yes, redundant”

    Thanks! ;-)

  12. 12
    mike yuen ken paahana

    yeh we like sex an all women r crazy, das y a hooker is da best

  13. 13
    navywoman

    Well, I would dearly love to meet one man that can respect me as a person. I barely give him my name and the first words out of his mouth is how many times a week do I enjoy sex or what do I like to do in bed. Very sad that a man won’t take the time to realize I also have a brain and have a lot more to offer than sex. And people wonder why I am still single?

  14. 14
    menrtrash

    I agree..what happened to courting a female? go on a date with the lunatic of the 21st century.. you get…rude attitudes/questions..all relevant to ‘sex’….there is no respect…this has nothing to do with feminism….its the drive of these pigs…and jerks…the lack of respect, what has happende in society today…its a nightmare….you dont have a choice if you’re single….unless u can meet that one semi decent person out there….but when you do beware…he will have other issues…there are no normal men left…

  15. 15
    Janey

    They aren’t stereotypes, they’re SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECIES!

  16. 16
    gil

    your all crazy and I am no exception

  17. 17
    Irine

    I agree with you. Men are dirty dogs. 

  18. 18
    Heather

    All of our perceptions on this subject are forced on us by the media. Tv, radio, magazines, music.. So many different ideas and opinions are thrown at us every day whether we realize it or not. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Nobody has the same exact taste as anyone else and you never know where someone draws the line for labeling someone else. A person with tons of piercings and tattoos could be hideous and scary to one person and beautiful and expressive to the next. People need to tone it down a bit and realize everyone is entitled to forming their own opinion and you don’t have to conform to someone else’s idea to fit in. What other things amaze me are for example.. shows like Jersey Shore, where people live by binge drinking at clubs and rubbing private parts on eachother (aka dancing) sleeping all day, then repeating. They wonder why their relationships are failing and everyone is depressed. Girls need to behave like ladies, not the stupid insecure women they see on tv every day. Men need to behave like gentlemen, not sexist, womanizing, egocentric jerk-offs like on tv.
     
    I’m a 20 year old female btw…

  19. 19
    WaterGem

    Men are pigs, many men even admit to it. If you want a man just, get a pig.
     
     Also, the second type of man that you’ve described only exist’s in the minds of men and irritatingly optimistic women.

  20. 20
    JoJO

    Leave my piggies alone.  I like my piggies, my three legged dogs.I love their sex drives, their sneaky little charm, their internal fears of rejection which turns them into sweet cuddly lover bugs tickling your leg and playing with your hair. Don’t take the man out of my men.  They adore you when you touch them, they melt inside and will never tell you. That’s a good place to leave that and a good thing to know.  They are excited beyond what they could ever explain when you tell them you want them, love them, adore them, cherish them, respect them, honour them. 
    They’ll do anything for you, they are like husky dogs when they know you adore them, they’ll carry you, the burdens, the world for you in silence.  DO NOT TAKE THE MAN OUT OF MY MEN.  Challenge them, play with them, thank them.  To all those men who were rotten to the core, I thank you, you taught me how to deal with men like you, taught me how to notice the good ones. But I don’t place you in “category”- “men”  Just a dysfunctional person and I send wishes for your recoveries.  To all my other lovely little piggies – ooops sorry My Big Chuby Piggies, kisses and hugs. 
    Show me a man who has less of a sex drive then me and I’ll show you my last speeding ticket. Show me a man who talks about his feelings often and I’ll show you the hair on my chest.  Show me a man who treats me extremely well and I’ll show you the 300 texts he sent that day.  Show me the perfect balanced man who is perfect in all he does and I’ll show you the latest headline: “Secret alcoholic postal worker shoots 20 than himself” Get real laddies, I know about your ingrown hairs and your food cravings and the broken record dialog in your heads. 
    Treat people the way you want to be treated. Know you teach people how to treat you.  Some people just never know when to give up or give in. 
    But please, don’t take the man out of my men.  I like my breasts on me not on my beasts. 

  21. 21
    hunter

    …everything JoJo said, belongs in bold letters, underlined twice!!…Bravo!!..Bravo!!..

  22. 22
    I'm a girl

    Hey, I thought everyone loved sex??? Is there someone out there who doesn’t? I believe that we are all way too hard on each other. Chill out you meanies!!! LOL

  23. 23
    I'm a girl

    Hey, I thought everyone loved sex??? Is there someone out there who doesn’t? I believe that we are all way too hard on each other. Chill out you meanies!!! LOL

  24. 24
    hunter

    Hi..I’m a girl,
    try the lifestyles site, you don’t want to say that around here…hhhmmh..how funny!!

  25. 25
    I'm a girl

    Hi back,
    Is hunter you name or your M.O. ? LOL I’m asking in a loving way, just curious 
    I’m not dense on purpose, but, What is the lifestyles site? 

  26. 26
    I'm a girl

    Hi back,
    Is hunter you name or your M.O. ? LOL I’m asking in a loving way, just curious 
    I’m not dense on purpose, but, What is the lifestyles site? 

  27. 27
    Despicable Douchebag

    I am a girl and men hate me. Dunno why? Oh wait I do.
    It’s cuz i’m not a slut and I don’t act and dress like a hooker. 

  28. 28
    Karl R

    Despicable Douchebag,
    You’re fooling yourself. That’s not what men hate about you.
     
    My wife doesn’t dress like a hooker. My wife enjoys sex, but she has never been into casual sex or having multiple sex partners. I would bet that Evan’s wife is the same.
     
    It might make you feel better to claim that’s why men don’t like you, but you’re just lying to yourself. It has to be something else.
     
    If you hate sex, that’s going to cause most men (the ones who like sex) to seek out partners who are more compatible. If you call people who have normal sex drives “sluts”, that will cause people to dislike you … for being a judgmental ass.
     
    Despicable Douchebag,
    If I had to take a guess at your problem, I suspect that I don’t need to look any further than the name you have chosen for yourself. It’s your personality that’s turning people off. Furthermore, I suspect that you’re aware of that to some degree.

  29. 29
    Jaded

    There are some men that say “Women are bitter, women are mental, women are obsessed”
    They never ask why. They don’t seem to want to change this.
    But they read sites like this 
    http://m.wikihow.com/Make-a-Girl-Become-Obsessed-with-You

    ‘Men’ are not obsessed with sex, but males with a mental age of 14 often are. And they seek out immature or vulnerable girls to increase their chances of pulling and then complain about how crazy they are.

    It’s all immature dramas. 

    Grown ups of either gender do not fall into any of the made up stereotypes mentioned in the article.

    Also I’m a little beyond bored of random blokes in the street telling me how ‘you women are all the same with your handbags’ or ‘you women are all obsessed with shopping’ and then flirting with me, afterwards, badly. 
    My apparent obsession with handbags and shopping ( actually not that type of girl) is not the reason I don’t want to date you. You are the reason I don’t want to date you. And if I should derive a greater sense of satisfaction from buying a handbag than talking to you,  what does this tell you? There is no woman in the world who would not give up all her handbags for a good man.

     

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>