How Do I Stay Sane While I Wait for Him to Call?

How Do I Stay Sane While I Wait for Him to Call?

Hi Evan,

After a fantastic third date with a new guy I’m very interested in–dinner, live music, and coming back to my place where we talked until 2:45 am (did not have sex or even make out), he gave me a kiss and left without saying he’d call. Now I’m racking my brain to see if I did or said something wrong. It’s only been three days and I know I should calm down and be confident that he really likes me, as you suggest. I am continuing to make plans to meet other guys. But THIS guy is the one I’m interested in. How can I stay sane while waiting to see if he’s going to ask me out for this weekend?

Thanks a lot,

Roxanne

Roxanne,

By the time you read my reply, I predict that you will barely even remember this guy.

Wait, that’s not true. You’ll remember this guy. He won’t remember you.

This is one of the things that I know to be true about dating.

It’s a big ol’ revolving door – and it’s only our unrealistic set of expectations surrounding it that cause us to get hurt so frequently.

So let’s take a step back and observe. Forgive me if I leap to a few conclusions, since I don’t know anything about you personally.

This is one of the things that I know to be true about dating. It’s a big ol’ revolving door – and it’s only our unrealistic set of expectations surrounding it that cause us to get hurt so frequently.

Let’s say you met him online. How many men have you corresponded with on your dating site? 50? 100? 200? 1000?

How many of those men turned into first dates?

How many of those first dates turned into second dates?

How many of those second dates turned into boyfriends?

How many of those boyfriends lasted more than six months?

What we see when we take the 35,000 foot overview on your love life is that it’s really, really rare for a relationship to take off.

If you’re like everybody else, it’s a trial and error. Sometimes, you get lucky. Sometimes you don’t.

I went on over 300 dates before getting married. I got second dates with most of them, but some refused to see me a second time.

It’s really not that mysterious. Every man you like doesn’t like you sufficiently in return.

As for the women who I really connected with, I “committed” to probably ten women in that time. We were exclusive for 1 to 8 months. I dumped half. Half dumped me.

This is just called dating.

It’s really not that mysterious.

Every man you like doesn’t like you sufficiently in return.

You’re very attuned to that part.

What you don’t get nearly as upset about are the many men who are very interested in you that YOU’RE not excited by.

Should these men – who ultimately don’t stand a chance with you, no matter how pleasant your first date was – get UPSET? Should they rack their brains and obsess about what they did “wrong”? Should they keep calling you over and over to see if you’re interested simply because THEY’RE interested?

This is the blind spot of single people.

Women think it’s perfectly fair to ignore an email from a guy or refuse to return a phone call so he can take a hint.

Yet a man is a player or a liar or a jerk for not being sufficiently interested in you.

This ain’t that complicated.

If he’s interested in you, he’ll follow up in a couple of days, max.

If he’s not interested in you, he won’t.

Your level of interest in him is entirely irrelevant.

And the lesson to be learned is that, if this kind of thing happens over and over (and based on your emails, it does), it would seem to be prudent to not get too excited or emotionally attached to a guy until he’s called himself your boyfriend.

How do you do this in real life?

Well, I wrote an entire book about it. It’s called “Why He Disappeared” and if you struggle with the same issues that Ashley does, it’s probably time for you to pick up a copy.

And yes, there’s a money-back guarantee.

32
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Comments:

  1. 61
    Lucy

    Okay. I thought about this post again today. I met this guy while out with my friends last weekend then I bumped into him again when out on Friday. Well I gave him my email address and said for him to contact me and I’ll get back to him. He sent me a message the next day which I read but was too busy to reply to at the time. Then today (Sunday) before I could reply he sent me another which said “you not replying?” which I found really irritating and any interest I had went right out the window. Ah and that guy is 32 which seems quite old to me to be making that kind of mistake. So I definitely think some men should take the advice here as well.

  2. 62
    Karmic Equation

    @Lucy
     
    Are you saying that you were so busy that texted NO ONE on the day he texted you?
     
    If yes, ok.
     
    But if you texted other people, but not him, that’s totally not cool. He showed interest and you’re (inadvertently at best) shit testing him.
     
    If you had buyer’s remorse, ok, disqqualify him. But if you’re disqualifying him because he showed sincere interest and you couldn’t be bothered, then that’s just not right.

  3. 63
    Jenna

    Hespeler – I am not one of those women that looks to online dating for validation though I see how it could have come off like that. It’s just that until the last year or so I had awful self esteem and a negative outlook on life and even though I was cute I felt like I was always the one who got rejected and had no choices. Going out with a different person every day put a lot in perspective for me — and I took these men seriously btw I wasn’t doing it to use people. I did a lot more work on myself aside from that, but it was informative. These days, I have too many friends and activities to date every day. I haven’t even been on match for a couple weeks bc I have a really full life and going on all these meaningless first dates subtracts from that. 

  4. 64
    hespeler

    JB 56,

    I actually agree with you.  Online dating is definitely not equal.  I would take it one step further and say that even the more successful male online daters struggle online (relatively speaking). 

    I’ve met tons of women online and I get written to and winked at a lot as well but I’ve been ingnored 10 times as much.  And I write to girls in my age range (I’m 38) and within a reasonable geographic location.

    Jenna mentioned she was going on a lot of dates so that tells me that she (and yes I agree most women) have plenty of options online if they so choose.  I just don’t see the point in going on the date (unless you are genuinely intrigued by the person and want to meet him) just to prove to yourself you have options.

    If the arguement is that well she should go because you never know she may find someone she really hits it off with.  Maybe but more than likely it will just be a pleasant hour or two over a cup of coffee or a drink or two.  No magical butterflies or anything like that.  The guy had no chance from the start.

    I very well may be reading into her comments too much or misunderstanding her but as a successful (relatively speaking) online dater, do you need to prove to yourself that you have options by going on a bunch of half-hearted dates?

  5. 65
    Rochelle

    @Lucy on one hand he should understand if you don’t reply to an email right away, which is why he should have just asked for your number (did he, or did ask for your email?) Because I know I don’t keep up with my emails the way I keep up with my phone so I might take 2-3 days to reply to an email.. this might be another subject in its own right, since I’m one of those ladies  who can’t take a guy seriously if he’s only willing to communicate via electronic communication while phone says “chore” to him.

    Either way, why did your interest go out the window? He was just hoping to hear from you and taking awhile to reply made him nervous.  It’s a good thing since it shows he may be legitimately interested, but I say don’t deliberately take awhile to respond to emails, texting, calls, etc.

  6. 66
    Lucy

    @Rochelle – Hey maybe I should give him a chance. And the reason I didn’t give him my number is because I don’t have a mobile phone (I know. I’m crazy). And I’ll bear in mind what you said. I’ve never really wanted to take ages to reply – I’m simply a bit scatty and busy. I gave him my Facebook email and he said he couldn’t find me before (I’m unsearchable). I guess it made my interest go because it felt really needy and I didn’t like his flirting technique which consists of “Can I kiss you?” in the middle of a conversation when I’m not even talking about anything related to that at all.

    The electronic versus phone conversation bugs me too. I was long distance with a past boyfriend and he refused to skype call me. He would only ever IM with me and I told him all I wanted was to see his face. But he only wanted to communicate his way. We’d have rows about it because he’d take umbrage to it. I never understood the men in my life and why they are so difficult and want everything their way all the time. This new guy seems to be just like that. If I don’t reply when he wants to, he gets all controlling. I told him off last week for coming on too strong and he says “it’s all right. I’m used to grumpy women”. :/

  7. 67
    Henriette

    @Hespeler64   I respectfully disagree with one of your points.  Isn’t one of the points of this blog to teach us that “the magic butterflies” are fleeting and that long-lasting love can be found with kind, stable people who mightn’t knock our socks off at first meeting? 

  8. 68
    JB

    @Lucy #66 “I don’t have a mobile phone” ???

    That’s a red flag. Who would even try and have a relationship or date someone without a cell phone? It can’t be done in this day and age. Sorry

  9. 69
    Karl R

    JB said: (#68)
    “Who would even try and have a relationship or date someone without a cell phone? It can’t be done in this day and age.”

    Really? It can’t be done?

    I didn’t have a mobile phone until my current employer gave me one. (And since the phone belongs to the company, I still don’t own one.) I did plenty of dating without one. It requires a little more planning in advance, but it’s not that difficult.

    One of my serious relationships was with another woman who also didn’t own a mobile phone.

    I didn’t have a mobile until I was 38. I’ve never owned a car. I haven’t had a drivers license since mine expired at the age of 21. I’m sure a few women treated these as red flags, but I’ve dated a number of terrific women who weren’t at all concerned about these irrelevant details.

    You might want to reevaluate what “can’t be done.”

  10. 70
    Lucy

    @JB – Well I say I don’t. I actually do have one but I cannot use it because I have no money to pay for phone credit (It’s as good as useless). Unfortunately I’m not in a good financial situation due to university fees. I can only live on £10-20 per week so the phone is the last on my list of priorities. I’m not a technophobe but I try not to rely on technology because I want a simple life. I can be contacted on Facebook anyway which most people can access from their phones. Sometimes I do think it makes me miss out on stuff because I’m less easy to get a hold of.

  11. 71
    Soul

    @JB, #68:

    How can possibly having not having a cell phone be a red flag ??? Are you serious???

  12. 72
    Karmic Equation

    @Soul and JB

    While I think “red flag” is overstating things, I do believe NOT having a cell phone or even having a cell phone but NO texting makes dating in this day and age difficult.

    For example, there’s a guy with whom I’m pool shooting buddies. For me “calling” him to see if he wants to shoot pool is way to intimate, whereas texting him is more acceptable to me. At the same time, I know that he’s had a few medical issues recently, and I would have liked to text him to see how he’s doing, but feel uncomfortable calling him. His lack of texting availability makes it difficult for me to be communicate with him more.

    I’m not looking to start a relationship with my friend, as I’m in one, but I want to be his friend without being too close, which a telephone call implies to me.

    OTOH, I think at the beginning of a relationship, texting allows an arm’s length closeness to develop. YOu can start to connect to another person in a less pressurized way. You can keep in daily contact, without necessarily being intimate.

    In other words, I think folks of the older generation (38+) may be missing out on something. But, if you’re dating others who also don’t text or don’t have cell phones, then that’s ok. However, you may be limiting your dating pool, or at least adding a nuisance obstacle to dating, if you don’t have a cell phone and texting.

  13. 73
    Soul

    # Karmic, # 72:

    What you are saying totally makes sense, but it is different.

    Sure, when sb does not have a cell phone, or does not text etc., it is not convenient. But it is by no means a red flag, or, rather, should it not be.  In fact, it does not say anything about sb’s integrity, honesty, etc. 

     

  14. 74
    Karmic Equation

    Soul #73
     
    Agreed.
     
    I would add that it’s more than simply inconvenient though. I think you end up missing communication opportunities that can help you connect if sb doesn’t have a cell phone or has a cell phone but doesn’t text.

  15. 75
    David T

    Some people are denied access to their cell phones during the workday due to their profession. (For instance, someone who works in an radio frequency sensitive area).
    (What is “sb”, btw? ) 
    @Karmic I’m not looking to start a relationship with my friend, as I’m in one, but I want to be his friend without being too close, which a telephone call implies to me.
    Talking on the phone is somehow more ‘intimate’ than seeing them face to face? You are worried about him reading something into you calling him up?  Aren’t you presuming a bit much into what is in his head? Even if you aren’t, and are concerned he will misinterpret your interest, why wouldn’t he be far more likely to mistinterpret actually hanging out to shoot pool? Why not talk to him directly about the boundaries of your friendship?



  16. 76
    JB

    Ok maybe “red flag” was a little strong. I’m sure I’ll never have to worry about it anyway. I can’t remember how many years it’s been since I’ve met a woman without a cellphone. Back in the 90’s maybe?? Suffice to say if I met a woman today and I was attracted to her it certainly wouldn’t be a deal breaker but it would give me cause for concern and make me wonder…………… 

  17. 77
    Karmic Equation

    @David T #75

    “Talking on the phone is somehow more ‘intimate’ than seeing them face to face? You are worried about him reading something into you calling him up?”

    Yes. When we are shooting pool it’s a buddy situation. While I’m female in form, when I shoot pool I’m male in mindset :) Super competitive. He’s much better than I in pool by far, but that doesn’t make me any less competitive. We enjoy that competitive, trash-talking camaraderie. But we talk about life, pool league, his ex-gf probs, my current bf probs, etc.

    He and I never crossed any boundaries. Over the summer, I got signals that he’d be interested in dating me, and truth be told, he’d be a fabulous bf. He’s offered indirect dates, such as “We should play scrabble sometimes” (I love Words with Friends) or “We should check out this pool hall a few towns over.” But I made believe I didn’t hear those offers.

    Neither of us has to address that interest directly, nor should we have to. To me, our nuanced interaction is part of the male-female dynamic in which it is the responsibility of a woman to set the boundaries INDIRECTLY, which I’m able to do without ever having to say out loud “I’m not interested now”. He knows that by how and what I talk about (he knows I have a bf now and is respectful of that).  But my indirect communications (ignoring the date-like offers) is already doing that job so neither of us has to let go the buddy-relationship, and no damage to the male-ego needs to take place. He can keep wondering/hoping, and I’ll let him keep wondering/hoping, until such a time as I change my mind (break up with bf and level up the flirtation) or he takes direct action, such as asking me on a date…and I know he won’t ask me until I level up the flirtation and I won’t do that (if at all) until I’m out of my relationship, so where this goes is entirely up to me.

    “Even if you aren’t, and are concerned he will misinterpret your interest, why wouldn’t he be far more likely to mistinterpret actually hanging out to shoot pool? Why not talk to him directly about the boundaries of your friendship?”

    Therefore, I cannot make contact with him via phone call, as that would be adding a more intimate level to our interaction. As it stands, I usually end up at the pool hall at a certain time on Saturday or Sunday and he ends up there sometimes or vice versa. We don’t overtly make arrangements to meet to shoot pool, but we’re pretty sure one or the other will be there…and if not, there is no harm/no foul.

    Now texting would certainly be more convenient and less intimate: “At pool hall, you planning to play today?” or “How are you doing? Heard you had a problem with your eye last week.” Calling either way ratchets up the intimacy of our buddy-connection, imo. And I don’t want to do that.

    Being INDIRECT is a better way to manage this relationship/male ego, as I see it. Am I wrong to believe this?

  18. 79
    JB

    It would make wonder if they didn’t have a cell because they couldn’t afford one or is it because they don’t want to feel like they’d always have to answer it etc…. I’m not sure and it doesn’t matter because I’ll never meet another woman that doesn’t have one. Never the less I didn’t say it above but I have the exact opposite problem now because nobody has a land line anymore and I’m tired of having phone conversations with bad reception and dropped calls especially when these people (men and women) are at home!! Any time I’m at home I call from my home phone because I love the clarity…LOL and I hate talking on my iPhone. It’s a great invention but it sucks as A PHONE!!!

  19. 80
    David T

    @Karmic
    I have a better understanding now.  You two don’t really plan these pool get togethers, they just happen more or less spontaneously. If you did not have a well developed friendship prior to your current level of interaction I can see why calling and planning things or just shooting the bull might be more intimate than you want. It does sound like you are keeping him in your hip pocket as plan B if your current relationship fails. You don’t want to be clear about whether you would consider dating him or not so he keeps some low level of interest. Is that accurate?
     
    I have experienced the ‘no response’ and I am offended when someone ignores something I said/suggested rather than give me a direct answer. When I repeatedly get silence to invitations I know they received or heard, it says to me they a) do not respect or care about our friendship enough to make a point to respond (not a good friend), OR b) that they would rather be deceptive than take the chance of hurting me (co-dependent tendency) OR c)  I am insulted that they think I am so fragile that I will go to pieces if I hear no thanks, and won’t be their friend anymore. I lose patience with this behavior and respect for them pretty quickly. They drop off my call/text/hang out list after they do that a  few times. Sometimes they start contacting me and I might talk to them or even do things with them again, but I have lost ALL interest in considering them dating partner material even if we become friends again. If after a very long time I come to respect them again, that could change.
     
    If your indirect communication style works for you both, that is great. It puts me off and I know some other men think like I do. Thoughts, gentlemen?

  20. 81
    marymary

    David
    It may be cultural. I’m chinese and it is not be the done thing to flat out refuse an invitation or knock someone back. It doesn’t have to be a NO for us to get the message.  It’s called saving face.  I save yours and you save mine.  Both chinese men and women play this out, it’s not a gender thing. My father is masterful at it.  Probably different if the person is westernised but I’m quite westernised and still do it. Though my brother, who is more attuned to it then I am, says I’m like a bull in a china shop.

  21. 82
    Tom10

    JB
    I agree with you regarding having no cell phone – if I met a woman and she told me she had no phone I would probably take it as weak shrug-off. If she was genuine I would have to consider if it’d be worth the hassle. Lucy, if you’re serious about dating you need to make a bit of an effort – having a working phone is the very minimum requirement!
     
    David T
    “Thoughts, gentlemen?”
     
    I think the way Karmic handles the situation with her friend is very reasonable – because it suits her current needs perfectly, and he knows she already has a bf. There’s nothing disrespectful, deceptive, or insulting about it really. 
     
    However, her friend is playing a very poor strategy. Nobody can be kept in someone’s ‘hip pocket’ unless they allow themselves to be there. If the friend genuinely wants to date her, he is in the worst possible place to do so: the friend zone. If he wants more he should either be direct, or get the hint (getting the ‘no response’ isn’t that hard to decipher) and back off a bit, then wait for her to be single again. If he’s happy to remain her friend and no more, then the way they currently interact is perfect. 
     
    I quite like the indirect communication style at times too, as flirting and trying to imply or detect hints and nuance is always fun.

  22. 83
    Rochelle

    I understand JB’s take on the cell. While I wouldn’t say a relationship can’t be done without a cell,  I would   “wonder” about a man who tells me he doesn’t have a cell.  It’s just  extremely uncommon to not have a cell especially in my generation. My friend met her ex off match and he didn’t have a cell… I am assuming he had a landline, otherwise that would be a really inconvenient llifestyle.   Turned out he didn’t have friends and seemed to be out to make a woman the center of his life.  And yes  I realize these are not always correlative  but I would have wondered what his social situation was. Or if he just didn’t want a phone or couldn’t afford one at the time.

  23. 84
    Karmic Equation

    @JB 79

    That’s why you need to get an Android! The Galaxy S III is AMAZING! Awesome as phone and computer. That said, not sure if you use a Bluetooth headset or not, they can actually make talking on a phone that has bad phone audio (I had a Tilt with this problem) — and using a BT headset made all the difference in the world to the phone’s audio quality as a phone.

    Well, not being able to afford a cell phone could be an indication of bad money management…or an indication of good prioritization. “I need to eat more than I need to text.” In the whole scheme of things having a cell phone or not is not important, but definitely can put a damper on spontaneous communications.

    @marymary

    I’m Chinese too. And agree with you. Didn’t even think about that, guess it’s internalized within me, even though I am a total “twinkie” (yellow on the outside, white on the inside) – LOL

    David T #80 - I have experienced the ‘no response’ and I am offended when someone ignores something I said/suggested rather than give me a direct answer.

    Sorry to hear that. It sounds like you made a direct offer/suggestion which was rudely ignored. My buddy’s date-like offers were sandwiched between other sentences, so I would classify them more accurately as “testing the water date-like offers” — Because they were indirectly offered, almost as asides, so my not responding is ok and I know I didn’t offend as we’ve played pool together many times since then. Now if he ever asked DIRECTLY, “How about checking out the pool hall a few towns over next Saturday?” I would respond directly.

    It does sound like you are keeping him in your hip pocket as plan B if your current relationship fails. You don’t want to be clear about whether you would consider dating him or not so he keeps some low level of interest. Is that accurate?

    I could see how you could interpret it that way. But no, I have no ulterior motives. My indirectness keeps us both free to seek out others, and the attraction is simply not great enough on either side to act upon, especially at the expense of our easy friendship.

    If your indirect communication style works for you both, that is great. It puts me off and I know some other men think like I do.

    Yes, the indirect communication works for us (marymary’s commentary on saving face definitely applies here, as well as the fact that there really is no pressing need or desire to level up the relationship in any way).

    I think that I’ve been luckier than most women (and men) on this site as I’ve had buddy-ships and friendships with the opposite sex that spawned from interactions that had nothing to do with dating as the goal (competitive coed sports). Sometimes the men were attracted to me but I wasn’t attracted to them…and sometimes I was attracted to them and they weren’t attracted to me. Having learned how to navigate those intricate dynamics in my youth and into my late 30’s has stood me in good stead in my “middle-age” : ) — So indirect communications have become second nature and are extraordinarily useful in creating maintaining opposite-sex friendships as well as in dating/mating.

    I think a lot of women “project” on this site (e.g., men want smart, successful, strong women) and you may be doing the same, you are a man and are direct and you thihk women being indirect is rude, when in fact, indirectness in women is oftentimes the best way to communicate with men, especially on potentially sensitive issues, such as outright rejection.

    If you’re objecting my acknowledgment of my power to level up the friendship at my discretion, then I’d have to say “tough luck.” : ) You guys get to control how far and how deep a relationship goes and flows, us women have the control to let it get started or not. Those powers are equivalent, imo.

  24. 85
    David T

    @Mary I have heard of saving face and such, but frankly just don’t see the point, maybe because I have learned not to take rejection personally. To beat the metaphor to death I am fine with my own social standing/face/confidence and do not need or want assistance from anyone else in maintaining it.
     
    @Tom10 and Karmic
    My “hip pocket” thought was based on little information and I came to the wrong conclusion.  Sounds like he is not all that interested in dating Karmic, or is himself concerned about asking directly to get together because of his knowledge of her status and is maybe just testing the waters in a somewhat weak way. I think I will keep my future in-between-the-lines reading to myself
    Nuanced flirting is fun but when it comes to making logistical plans, nuanced communication is a good way to never pulling anything together, or worse, one person thinking there is a plan, when the other does not. With both people  looking for foggy confirmation from the other and trying to read between the lines all the time, there are bound to be misunderstandings.  Planning is when I want direct and clear communication, even if it is “I like the idea but don’t know if I can yet” or “nah, feels too much like a date and that would make me uncomfortable” etc.

  25. 86
    Karmic Equation

    @David T

    Nah. Your between the lines reading is interesting. Don’t stop.

    If you are having nuanced communications after a woman has indicated she is receptive to making logistical plans, then the woman is just not that into you.

    If you’re ASKING a woman CLEARLY if she’d like to make plans with you, and she’s not giving you a straight answer, then just take it as not interested, and use your judgment on whether or not to continue pursuit (sounds like you stop, that’s ok).

    If you’re not DIRECT in YOUR asking and you’re forcing a woman to state her interest when your asking is kind of foggy, then you’re not being fair and if she dodges that’s her prerogative. As a man, you have to be direct, women appreciate that.

    Tom10 was right, if my friend had asked me CLEARLY and DIRECTLY for a date over the summer, when I wasn’t yet in an exclusive relationship, I probably would have said sure. But the fact that he was indirect and, as a woman, I perceived his indirectness as kind of unmanly, I chose to mirror his indirectness instead of clearly stating anything interest or disinterest. He’s the man, he’s gotta pursue and be man enough to risk rejection. Most women, subconsciously, will respond positively to that bravery (risking rejection). We don’t respond positively to lack of bravery. Just how we are wired.

    I think that’s why players are so successful, unlike the typical nice guy who walks away after the first no. Players “try and try” again, usually a few times and with a different angle each time, and a woman, in her subconscious, perceives that (1) he is brave to try again and (2) also gets a subliminal message that the guy must really value her (whether true or not) and (3) cannot help but to admire his perseverance. That’s a powerful mix of manliness and ego-stroking and connection. Tough for most women to withstand. Hence why most women in the Players & Narcissist thread got taken by players in the past. This is just my opinion. YMMV.

  26. 87
    Lucy

    @Karmic – I always find your posts so insightful. And I just found your blog = win!

  27. 89
    Rochelle

    @Karmic  “I think that’s why players are so successful, unlike the typical nice guy who walks away after the first no. Players “try and try” again, usually a few times and with a different angle each time, and a woman, in her subconscious, perceives that (1) he is brave to try again and (2) also gets a subliminal message that the guy must really value her (whether true or not) and (3) cannot help but to admire his perseverance. ”
     
    So true…I admit I am quite attracted to players because of their perseverance. It’s sexy.  I have had to just rewire my mentality in staying true to my boundaries, not worrying about whether or not they are really interested,  and not let their “game” run me. The experiences I had were good practice of using my feminine energy this year, being more confident and getting stronger inside.
     
    Actually the above is the way to be with any guy but it is more challenging with a player.

  28. 90
    Susan61

    I had a great first date last week with a man I met online  Second date has already been set up.  He emailed me that night of our first meeting and three days later emailed me again to set up another date for this coming week I don’t mind emailing as opposed to a phone call since we met online.  
    Yet I am really try to keep my feelings in check as I am already finding myself projecting about him (it’s been a few years since I’ve met someone I’ve been this excited about) and I realize that I have to let go of any and all expectations, and not attach to outcome.  I barely know this guy!
     
     

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