Movies, Concerts, Dinner, Coffee Are the Worst First Dates Ever.

Movies, concerts, dinner, coffee are the worst first dates ever.

Do you agree or disagree?

What setting have you found to be the WORST for a first date?

What setting have you found to be the BEST for a first date?

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Comments:

  1. 1
    Cilla

    Movies and concerts aren’t good first dates, in my mind, because you can’t carry on a conversation and get to know the other person. Coffee dates, as we’ve discussed in previous posts, are kind of lame, too. There’s nothing about meeting at a Starbucks that makes it seem like a date, nothing that makes you want to lean in, touch someone’s arm, or get a little more intimate if things are going well. It also makes me uncomfortable that at most coffee joints, you can hear everyone else’s conversations, and presumably, they can hear yours. As if first dates aren’t awkward enough!

    I like dinner, if I have a strong suspicion the date will go well. If I’m not sure, I usually try to meet for drinks. That way, if the date is not working, it’s a limited time investment with alcohol to dull the pain. If things look good, there’s the possibility of another drink or even extending the date into dinner.

  2. 2
    JuJu

    Hold on a sec, how did “dinner” make it onto this list?

    I mean, it’s certainly not an original idea, but it is a decent enough choice for a first date.

    As for the others – don’t know if I’d call them the WORST (what makes a date the worst, I think, is the company, not the venue / event), but they are definitely not very good options for a first date. The activity should be conducive to communication.

    My own worst first date was going to the movies WITH THE GUY’S FRIENDS. You might ask why I even agreed to go, but the truth is, I didn’t know his friends would be there, too (and that they would remain with us for the duration of the evening).

  3. 3
    Joe

    A movie is OK if you follow it with something like drinks or dinner. You won’t get to spend a lot of time chatting during/before the movie, but it does give you something to talk about afterward over drinks or dinner, in case conversation is flagging.

  4. 4
    Jennifer

    I disagree. I think meeting for dinner then going to a movie and then discussing the movie over drinks afterwards is a decent way to get to know someone. Depending on the movie, all sorts of interesting info can come out. I think the key with the movie date is that it’s not JUST the movies, that there is another activity involved as well.

    I’ve had a couple of cute dates (not first ones though) at Dave & Busters and those types of places (and no, i’m not a teenager!). It puts you in an environemnet where you can eat, drink and be playfully competitive at the same time.

    1. 4.1
      tamara

      Lol, dinner then a movie then drinks sounds like a loooong first date. I’ve always prefered to keep dates to 2hrs for a first date, around 3 hours subsequently. I find we end up wishing the date could be longer and being eager to meet again, which is a nice way for the date to end. Maybe I just get tired fast.
      I definitely agree about Just a movie being a crummy date though

  5. 5
    Jennifer

    @Cilla, I agree, meeting for drinks, with the possibility of extending into dinner, is a good first date option.

  6. 6
    Joanna

    A movie’s a big mistake on a first date. You can usually get a good feeling about your interest within the first 10 minutes or less. If you are not interested, you will now be stuck with them for a two hour movie. Even if you are unsure about how you feel, you won’t be able to speak to them during the movie.

  7. 7
    Honey

    @JuJu, a movie with the guy’s friends is hardly ever a good idea! I remember back when I was dating Lance he called me and said, “meet me at the movies at 7:30.” I was excited because it was the release of a chick flick I’d been talking about for WEEKS and I thought he was surprising me. Well, he was…with his roommates and “28 Days Later.” Ugh!

  8. 8
    Markus

    I agree on movies and dinner being bad first dates. I think drinks has to be best but there is a drawback there too. It’s a nice atmosphere, people can loosen up and talk. Only problem is people loosening up too much then you’re having sex in the car and you have to deal with that baggage. So, be careful of that. :)

  9. 9
    Rachelle

    No to movies, can’t talk…

    My first dates usually are meeting for drinks, although alot this year have been dinner. I prefer to meet up for drinks because if it goes well, you can then move onto dinner and if not, you’re out!

    One of my gf’s just had the worst date of her life this past weekend. They met at a bookstore for coffee. He didn’t offer to buy her coffee and apparently was texting and answering calls from friends and suggested that they read some books while they were there!

    No to bookstores!

  10. 10
    Zann

    Based on my own experience, the only way I’ll meet a man for the very first time is for coffee. There’s just too many things that can be wrong about a match-up — things that become apparent when you’re face-to-face..sometimes within about the first 17 seconds. I can still keep a positive attitude, even if I’m sure we’re not a match, and I try to take away something good from every meeting. But life’s too short to endure a significant stretch of time if you know it’s not a match. On the other hand, if you’re drinking your coffee & there’s a good vibe and you’re both obviously having a good time, there’s no reason you can’t move on to something else from there. If that happened, then the next time we got together, that would be the “first date.” The first date could be so many things, but it’s crucial that at some point in the date there be time & an environment for personal, more intimate communication. For example, going to a movie you both agree on, then going to a restaurant or nice bar afterward to talk & see what develops chemistry-wise. But I don’t want to have to yell to be heard above the din. That gets old really fast.

  11. 11
    satexasgirl

    I disagree about coffee. I rarely drink alcohol & I would much prefer to meet for coffee than for drinks. There are other coffeeplaces aside from Starbucks where I live so there is some choice. Dinner can be bad or good. I agree with JuJu-it’s more often the company rather than the venue that makes a date bad. I’ve only had a few really bad dates. One was coffee, one was dinner, and the other was a lunch date. The best date was one where we went to an outdoor market place and then the zoo.

  12. 12
    Steve


    Jennifer Nov 10th 2008 at 11:32 am 4
    I disagree. I think meeting for dinner then going to a movie and then discussing the movie over drinks afterwards is a decent way to get to know someone.

    I agree, but not for a blind date, which is what meeting someone from an online dating site basically is.

  13. 13
    Steve

    @Joanaa, post #6.
    I agree. It is even worse if you are sitting over a meal with someone who you find to be a bad mismatch.

  14. 14
    Dana

    Unless you’re a teetotaler or recovering alcoholic, I think meeting for a couple drinks is a great first date. You can go to a nice, quiet, classy place; have some privacy at a table, the lighting’s low and that tends to relax people, as does (a little!) alcohol. More than two drinks is just a bad idea, but two is perfect. If you hit it off, you can order dinner and/or go for a walk someplace public. If you don’t, it’s a couple hours out of your life where at least you met someone new and maybe learned more about yourself.

  15. 15
    A-L

    I actually like coffee dates because it’s very low-key and you can pull out easily if necessary, where there’s a bit more pressure for a romantic spark if you’re meeting in the evening for drinks. Also, I have a smoke allergy so unless we have a drink at a restaurant’s bar, the smoke can bother me. In terms of a concert or movie, so long as it’s attached to dinner or some other event where you can actually talk and get to know each other, then it’s fine. But you had best be pretty darn sure you’re going to enjoy spending time with the person, because you’ll be committing to a lot of it.

  16. 16
    moonsical

    I can honestly say I have had the BEST AND MOST EXCITING first date ever: the man flew me in a tiny private plane to Chico Hot Springs (Montana, where we live) and we had Sunday brunch. Top that. He was someone I had become familiar with over the years listening to his weekly radio show on our local station, where I was also a dj.

    Having said that, if I don’t have familiarity with someone, I don’t want my socks knocked off. I’d like to keep them on, thanks.

    Agree movies are a bad idea: too dark, too close. I tried this as a first date on two occasions, one with someone I knew, one with a new date. Both times awkward. Veto.

    I think something non-threatening like gallery walk, where you can move and talk and (before or after) sit and have a drink is best. You have things to talk about other than yourselves, and yet you can reveal things and ask questions, too.

    moon

  17. 17
    Elaine

    Movie and concerts are definitely out of the list. Worse ever for first dates!! Can’t even talk to each other, so what’s the point in having that first date anyways?!

    Dinner and coffee is good. I agree with many of the views here regarding these two.

  18. 18
    lisaq

    One of the best dates I ever had was dinner, movie, and then drinks. The movie was American Beauty so there was lots to talk about and discuss.

    Dinner can be bad depending on the date. If it’s good and there’s chemistry and connection, dinner’s fine. If, however, if you decide over the appetizer that you’d rather be anywhere else, you’ve got a very long dinner ahead of you.

    I think drinks are a good first date assuming you don’t overindulge.

  19. 19
    happygirl

    I would say going to the movies is not a great idea. Most of the others have said the same. How are you going to talk at the movies? Everything else, dinner, drinks, coffee would be fine for me. I agree that it is not the venue, but it is the person who you are with. I could take a walk in the park and if I hit it off with the guy I would enjoy it regardless.

  20. 20
    Jennifer

    @Steve #12
    Good point!

  21. 21
    Karl R

    Coffee is okay for a first date, but I wouldn’t go to Starbucks or any other chain. I prefer to go to a coffee house with funky artwork and a cool atmosphere … or one with a nice patio … or one with great people-watching potential….

    For a first date I want to do something where I can find my date without extreme difficulty. I want to do something where we can converse. And I don’t want to spend a lot of money or effort if it turns out that we are completely incompatible.

    Coffee, drinks, dinner, lunch dates, free concerts at the outdoor theatre (plenty of time to talk beforehand) … any of these can work.

    I’ll wait until the second date to do something more memorable.

  22. 22
    Rose

    I have had some really enjoyable coffee dates. I think the good thing about coffee dates, is that is can be short if you realize you are not a match but can comfortably extend the time if you are both enjoying this initial conversation. For me, movie dates take too long if you realize you are not a fit.

  23. 23
    Paul

    One of the best first dates I was ever on was a Sunday brunch. I remember she gave me a compliment right off the bat about how good I smelled – that helped me feel accepted – important point…I think there are a lot of things you can do to make it a great first date, like being a great first date as opposed to seeing if the other person impresses you. We hit it off well, then after brunch went on a long walk on the beach. We enjoyed each others company so much we ended up going out to dinner after that and getting drinks after that! We spent 9 hours together! Wound up back at my house having more drinks, but enough about that – but talk about chemistry!
    Walks on the beach are good, or any other type of exploring/walking things to do are good; maybe walking around downtown if there are interesting things to see and do. Visiting art galleries together is a great idea for getting to know things about each other as you have a chance to express ideas and likes and dislikes about something that really doesn’t matter all that much as it relates to your relationship…like weather you like the green in that painting or the texture in another work of art, yet you are still getting to know the person and you are both expressing opinions and feelings and getting to know each other in a light sort of way…nothing too heavy. It can really lead to some funny conversations as you are expressing viewpoints in a non threatening way about a non threatening subject. It can lead to some great teasing and playfulness afterwards too! Same thing with wine tasting. Ever go antiquing?
    Paul

  24. 24
    Linda

    I once made a point of suggesting a movie for a first date. It was the weekend that the latest Batman movie came out, and I knew we’d be standing in line for at least an hour, giving us a chance to chat without the aid of alcohol. We did go out to a pub after the movie, and were able to continue our conversation over drinks.

    In my experience, a first date fuelled by alcohol can lead to a dependence on liquid courage on subsequent dates.

  25. 25
    xpuff

    I don’t know why coffee dates get such a bad rap. My first date with my ex-boyfriend was a coffee date. It was short, we had some coffee, we walked around downtown a little bit and talked outside. Then we went our seperate ways. He called it his best first date ever. I do give good first date, I can fill an awkward pause or silence like none other. How great a date it is generally depends on the person and how well you’re clicking. With the right person it’ll be a great coffee, drinks date, brunch, lunch, or dinner. With the wrong one, you’ll be miserable in any setting but at least coffee is short!

    Probably my best first date ever in terms of activity was when I dated a guy who had his pilot’s liscense and he flew me all around the area in a single-engine cessna. That’s impressive.

  26. 26
    Lila

    I’m in agreement that coffee dates shouldn’t have such a bad rap. However, I think coffee dates are good only for blind dates. If you know someone and they ask you out? Then it should be a dinner date, or a real date. A dinner date can be a little bit uncomfortable if you know absolutely nothing about a person. I prefer to take things to full scale dates when I know that I am either attracted to someone or we have something in common.

  27. 27
    chase

    I prefer coffee dates. Its relaxing and not serious. Its better if its less crowded so no one can overhear your conversations.

  28. 28
    Marta Johnson

    Going for coffee I think its good, because if the conversation its not there its time to go.

  29. 29
    Sparkling Emerald

    Best first date ever, was not someone I met online, but the DJ that I met at a singles event.  We went to a free exhibit at a museum downtown, then walked Central Avenue riding the glass elevators in various buildings to get an awesome view of the city at night.  We went out again after that to a magic show, and that was our last date because I was dating a few people at the time and ended marrying someone else. 

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