Newsflash: Older Men Don’t Want Women Their Own Age

Was just on CBS Early Show and had a blast, as usual. Julie Chen was super nice and made getting up at 3:30am well worth it. As for the “debate”? Well, it’s morning news, so there’s only so deep you can go. Too bad we didn’t have a full hour to really get in there. I had about three anecdotes about clients lying about their age that I didn’t get a chance to use.

1) My 54-year-old male client who had electric chemistry with a woman on a first date. After an hour of making out with her, he was fully smitten. Called her the next day, where she confessed that she wasn’t 54 herself. When asked how old she was, she said “Let’s just say I’m in my sixties”. They never would have met had she told the truth up front.

2) My 71-year-old female client who is on a crew team but has never confessed her age, because she doesn’t want to feel “different” than everyone else. She likes fitting in and sees no need to call attention to her age.

3) Just yesterday, my 44-year-old client, who, upon hearing about my upcoming CBS appearance, started to rail against guys who lie about their age. Yet when we logged onto her old JDate profile, she audibly gasped. “Ohmigod. I guess I lied about my age, too”.

So while I would never go and call myself an “advocate” of lying, I would say that we should reserve judgment. There’s a difference between a serial fabricator and a woman who is insecure that telling the truth will lead to age discrimination. At least that’s what I would have said, if I had more time.

But the best part of the interview was the one in which I didn’t speak (ha!) It was when Julie asked the male anchors whether they’d date an older woman. Their non-answers speak for themselves.

Check out the clip here!

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  1. 181

    I read most of these posts and normally I would not comment but I feel I have to.

    In Germany, it is not unusual when a man marries a woman 4 years OLDER than him. A lot of my female friends are married to men who are 4 to 8 years younger than them. I have seen men and women get older. Most of my female friends from high school look pretty dang good. Some of my male friends from high school look good as well. Men can let themselves go just as women can.

    In the past 5 years I have been approached by younger men. I have had one long term relationship with a man who was 8.5 years younger than me. He refused to tell me his age because he wanted me to give him a chance. When I found out I talked to my grandparents about it. My grandmother was 2 years OLDER than my grandfather. Both of them said to me that age does not matter and that I should go for it. My ex looked like a younger version of Brad Pitt/Russell Crowe and he was 6 ft 4 inches. 90 percent of the planet would find this man attractive.

    The next man I dated was 14 years younger than me. He approached me and I told him the age difference was just a bit much. After 3 weeks convincing me to date him, I finally did. I was his sister’s age not his mother but still it was a big age difference!! We had nothing in common but he was so smart, such a gentlemen, very cultured and the red shoes he wore was charming. I do not regret dating him and you know what he didn’t either.

    The recent man who I turned down because 14 years age difference is just not okay. It just does not work. Knocked on my door sang a song to me while playing guitar. It was “Sour Girl” by STP which he sang beautifully and made my day. I wish him well and you know when I told him how old I was….he was surprise but then he said “your beauty is ageless.”

    Now my male single friends some who are now married have always told me and this will get the older men upset because they are breaking “the code” If a man asks you out and he is younger than you….so what.

    I lived in an apt like back in the late 90’s and there was this couple rollerblading. They were boyfriend and girlfriend. The man always wanted an older woman. He always found them attractive. He was 78 and she was 83. Rollerblading holding hands.

    There was a couple in my condo building. They were married for a long time. The wife was 10 years older than the husband. It does happen.

    I don’t do online dating because I want to meet the person. I am in my early-mid 40’s planning on working til the very end because I want to be productive in my life. I am petite. I don’t know how old I look but if I am getting asked out by men who are in their late 20’s. They getting shocked in regards to how old I am then perhaps I look younger. No smoking, no drinking and no kids………………that combo does make one look younger.

    I think of Carol Alt and her longtime boyfriend who is a hunk by the way. She is older but if you see the photos of them he is very smitten by her. They are adorable. Nothing wrong with that.

    On the other side of the coin, there was this one woman who married a much older man and as soon as he passed away…..3 months later she was with a guy younger than her. She stated that she will never marry again….hmmm wonder why that would be.

    Also I knew a man who was bragging how much younger his wife was the second one. His first wife made more money than him and he was upset about that. I saw his ex-wife and then his second wife. Just because your younger does not make you prettier. She was very plain with a daughter. He had anger issues and let me stress the ex-wife was the lucky one.

    Now if a man wants kids yes a younger woman under 40 most of the time can still have children. However, no woman really wants a man at a certain age to be a father to her kids. Would a woman prefer a younger man to have kids with………………… bet! But a man after 40…………..women live longer than men and now make more money. Plus the older the father is then the higher risk of the child having health problems. Also the lesser lifespan to be with the child, meaning the woman will have no father for her kid later on.

    Most women and most men just want 2 kids tops. So if there is a single father and he is like 35-38 and he has one kid then the odds are that he will not have more children. Plus the fact, child support takes 18-20 percent for the first child……………and if he has never been married then you have to be pretty dang special for him to want more kids AND to get married. Because to be blunt, it is not a benefit for him but a benefit for you. If the man is working 60 hours week and is now enjoying his life getting use to everything……I don’t think he would want another kid unless he is a young father.

    I think perhaps in 10 years time it is going to be like Germany. 1/4th of marriages the woman will be older than the man maybe by 5 years-8 years. Plus women are living longer and there are more work options.

    If a man wants a younger woman (say 10 years or more) it is just EGO because 90 percent of the time and as a woman makes her own money…..the younger woman will more likely cheat with a younger man. Where as if a man marries a slightly older woman, there is a lesser chance of cheating and things are more equal. So men need to pick……either be with a woman who is your equal or be with a woman who is a self-described “gold digger” guaranteeing that the male ego is going to get bruised.

    Am I ageist to REALLY want to date men currently between the ages of 38-42….. only to those men over 42 years of age! And if most men are upset with this………………then welcome to 2016.







    1. 181.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      You’re not ageist. You may just be limited and fail to get what you want. The choice, as always, is yours.

  2. 182

    I think a few bad dates with someone maybe 5 or 6 years older ruins it for the whole bunch because you start to think it’s the age and not the person. Also I’ve found that men older are still lying about their age so a man claiming to be 50 looks 60 on the date so I’ve gone younger for these reasons.

  3. 183

    After my husband walked out of our marriage of 36 years only 3 years ago, I was so hurt and injured that he couldn’t even tell me he wasn’t happy. Just left. After reading the book “Runaway Husbands” I began to understand from others that it happened to that I neither deserved this trauma and I was not to blame, it was his inability to communicate his emotions and feelings.

    I am 59 years old and recently divorced from him and now have come out of the pain and fog that I once had. Recently I signed up on two dating sites, with a profile and photos of me and have gotten many, many positive responses from men – ages 50 to 65 years old. They tell me. “wow, you look great for your age” etc yet I don’t find any of them particularly attractive at all, even rude and some look so beat up like grandpa or even a great grandpa or sorts.  I am thinking maybe I should just not date at all. I’m not looking for Cary Grant or the like, but come on guys, take care of yourselves. Shave, lose some beer weight, and exercise a bit.

    Maybe the men my age range want someone like me who is petite, thin, does her hair and makeup and dresses ok, and takes care of herself, and looks like a trophy doll. but I’m nothing like this.  All I am looking for is a good guy, average looking, and has a great heart too.

  4. 184

    I am 40 and I would rather be alone than date a woman my age. I go to the gym, watch what I eat etc. We go out for a drink after work but they just go home. Too many women my age are overweight negative and boring.

  5. 185

    So basically men don’t want relationships anymore? Sounds pretty degrading to both the men and the women. This can’t be all of you can it? I am a white woman who is educated, works, has had two kids, is 5’6″ and 140 lbs (is that horribly over weight?) I feel a little upset that the color of my skin is a deal breaker. I am saddened that people think like this because it is limiting to both sides. I have been the type to just date guys I have a nice time with, can get to know or enjoy being around. I just want to find someone around my age who wants to go fishing/camping, likes dogs and going for walks. I want to get to know a guy…how he likes his coffee, if he is offended by being rode, if he would eat weird foods if I attempted to make them… I don’t get the rest of this crap. I seriously don’t have a lot to say but I do ask a lot of questions so not sure about my mouth. I am unsure where I sit on this attractive or not scale but I don’t place a lot of importance on it because I don’t really think about it. Thank you for the article and I would like some more insight on what the men have to say.

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