Why Don’t Men Like Smart, Strong, Successful Women?

Hi, Evan.

I’m 41, happy with my rounded self, smart, direct, and articulate.

I’ve been told that my lack of dates is due to:

1) Men don’t like smart, direct women, and

2) I’m centered, which sends the message that I don’t need anyone.

Are men really that insecure? I’m certainly not going to be less than I am just for someone else’s insecurities.

Tell me honestly, Evan – are there any good men out there who appreciate a woman who knows herself?

Michelle

Hi, Evan:

I don’t know what is going on and why I’m lacking luck in finding Mr. Right. I am educated, refined, and a self made millionaire by age 34. I am good looking. Many men, women, elderly, and children of all ages have told me so. People also told me that I am one of nicest and sweetest people they have ever met. Even though I am 36, most of the people I meet would think that I am only 26. Unfortunately, I have been through all kinds of online dates in the last two and a half years. CEOs, doctors, lawyers, hedge fund mangers, business owners, professional athletes, actors, etc… When I am not interested in them, they work for the relationship day and night. When I am committed to them and act nice and devoted, they start to look elsewhere.  Anyway, in short, I need some serious help and hope to hear back from you soon.  Thank you.

Sincerely,

Catherine

Great letters. Important question. But first I want to start off with a hypothetical email from a man.

Dear Evan,

I’m what you’d call a “nice guy.” I make a good living, I’m pretty attractive, and I treat women well. In fact, all of my female friends comment on what a great catch I am. But then I see those same women dating jerks. Yet they would never consider going out with me! So what do you think? Am I cursed to be alone just because I know how to be kind to women? Isn’t being nice a good quality? What’s wrong with women these days? Please let me know.

Jason

It’s not BECAUSE a guy is “nice” that he’s not attracting women.

Men reading this might empathize with Jason. Women reading this may feel bad for him, yet also want to him to know that it’s not BECAUSE he’s nice that he’s not attracting women. It’s because he’s doesn’t have masculine energy. It’s because he constantly seeks the approval of others. It’s because he’s not sexually aggressive. It’s because he sacrifices his personal power to be conciliatory. These are common attributes of nice guys, yet nice guys think that women don’t like nice guys BECAUSE they’re nice.

Not true. Women want nice guys – nice guys with opinions who stand up for themselves and know how to take control.

Smart women are very much like nice guys.

“I’m intelligent, I’m direct, I’m successful, yet I can’t seem to find a quality guy who appreciates me.”

Men like smart women. I do. My male coaching clients do as well. So how is it that all these successful men are not connecting with all these successful women?…

Because there’s much more going on than merely a meeting of the minds.

What never occurs to some women is that:

They’re being evaluated on far more than their most “impressive” traits.

These traits sometimes come with a significant downside that is painful to acknowledge.

Take me, for example. I’m a reasonably bright guy. I make a fair living. I can write a decent joke. These are my good traits. But right behind my good traits are a series of bad traits. Anyone reading this blog can see that:

…Despite her impressive credentials – attractive, successful, intelligent – she might not be giving men what THEY WANT.

The flip side of being bright is being opinionated.

The flip side of being analytical is being difficult.

The flip side of being funny is being sarcastic.

The flip side of having moral clarity is being arrogant.

The flip side of being entrepreneurial is being a workaholic.

The flip side of being charismatic is being self-centered.

Again, not EVERY person who is bright is opinionated, and not EVERY person who is funny is sarcastic. But there’s enough anecdotal evidence to suggest a strong correlation. And I’m just talking about MYSELF here. And if my good qualities come with bad qualities, have you considered that yours might as well?

So when I hear a woman talk about how “direct” she is, the first thing I think is: “She’s tactless.” I wrote about this in an article for Match.com entitled “Are You Honest… Or Overboard?” Self-proclaimed “direct” people often tell their dates what they think about them even if the date didn’t ask. They often try to change partners who have no desire to be changed. When the partner pulls away because he doesn’t want to be with someone so critical, the “direct” person concludes that he couldn’t appreciate her “honesty.”

If this makes you feel personally indicted, welcome to the club. I’m a “direct” person as well. I write things that are, to say the least, provocative…and yet I always get surprised when I receive angry emails from readers. Hey, I’m just being honest over here! What are you getting so upset about? 😉

See, there’s a price to pay for “being ourselves.” And if you’re going to express your opinion, you can’t be surprised if other people disagree with you. And if you’re trying to win each argument, you can’t be too shocked if he wants a woman who can be a little more acquiescent.

I don’t know Catherine and Michelle. But I do know that they are not alone. Maureen Dowd, the Pulitzer Prize winning columnist for the New York Times, wrote an entire book about this, called “Are Men Necessary?”. One of her main observations is that if an amazing woman like her could be single, there must be something wrong with men. What she doesn’t acknowledge is that despite her impressive credentials – attractive, successful, intelligent – she might not be giving men what THEY WANT.

Why don't men like smart strong successful womenWhen a man goes out with a woman, he’s not as concerned with whether she’s articulate and on track to make partner at the law firm. That’s what women want in men and they assume it’s of equal importance to them. It’s generally not. Men DO value intelligence, but they also want from their girlfriend what they CAN’T get from their business associates. Warmth, affection, nurturing, thoughtfulness. If he finds himself constantly hearing all the things he needs to change, he may just determine that he wants a bright woman who is less challenging. Not a Stepford Wife. Not a bimbo. Not a maid. Just someone who makes his life EASIER and more pleasant.

Listen, I’ve spent my life chasing after women I’ve intellectually admired. Invariably, all of them had major issues with me. They’re not wrong for seeing things I could change. But a huge reason I’m with my wife is because she spends her time loving and supporting me, not challenging me on everything from movie tickets, to travel plans, to wake up times. She’s easy, in the best sense of the word.

Men want from their girlfriend what they CAN’T get from their business associates: warmth, affection, nurturing…

This is a real dilemma. You’re undoubtedly a great catch. You can teach us a thing or two. You are a go-getter and worthy of everyone’s respect. But if that go-getter side ends up emasculating your man, or makes him feel insignificant, or second-guessed, he’s not really getting what he wants out of a partner. Men want to feel masculine. We want to feel needed. And with a generation of women who pose questions like “Are Men Necessary?” it’s pretty difficult for us to enjoy our role as men. This doesn’t mean you should play dumb, or be weak and needy, no more than the nice guy should start acting like a jackass. It might mean, however, turning off some of the things that make you “successful” at work. This is a bitter pill to swallow, perhaps even a double standard. Still, it doesn’t change the fact that “hard-driving, opinionated, and meticulous” are not on most men’s lists of ideal feminine traits.

As someone who considers himself smart and direct, take it from me – there’s nothing wrong with these qualities. But if it also coincides with being difficult, dating might be a long, tough road for you.

It certainly was for me.

P.S. Want better results in your love life? For a deeper understanding of what qualities you should be looking for in a man, I invite you to check out “Why He Disappeared – the Smart, Strong, Successful Woman’s Guide to Understanding Men and Keeping the Right One Hooked Forever”.

Join our conversation (1,293 Comments).
Click Here To Leave Your Comment Below.

Comments:

  1. 811
    Anonymous

    Men do not want ‘successful career women’ because, simply, they can do better. To really have a successful career, you have to be 35+ at that point, and the man YOU want, say 40-45 and MORE SUCCESSFUL than you, can play with girls 18-30 to his hearts content. He can even snag one of them for long term. What would you do? There is a HUGE difference between a 25 year old girl and a 35 year old woman, especially in the baggage department. Do you really think you have enough synthetic ‘submission’ and ‘femininity’ to overcome that? Face it, feminism has screwed you.

    You made your bed, now lay in it.

  2. 812
    Anonymous

    Smart Successful Powerful women are the enemy/competition in a man’s mind. They are just like other men except they have one more weapon in their arsenal: they can play the woman card. This makes them especially unattractive and the most dangerous for any man. These women are not someone a man can trust, these women are rivals, enemies, and the competition for resources.

  3. 813
    lian

    Anonymous, I have read your comments on the last few pages of this blog and I was shocked to see you’re 40? You sound like the 14 year olds who parrot the same thing over and over on anti-feminists blogs. Take it, not mature to take all the rejection they get from all the girls the hit on. You might want to take your issues up with your shrink, because if you think you’re making some kind of point – jokes on you. We get that you may have just moved out of your mom’s basement and feel she didn’t make the best opportunities for you as possible. I’m sorry for your angst but there are much worse things in this world.

    Really tired of the anti-feminist cult copying and pasting their agenda on every blog and comments section. Glad most men are not like that, most men realize how pathetic and ridiculous they would look with a high functioning kid under 25 and have better things to do with their time. I mean really get some enlightmen, women over 30  have alot to offer but you all are too busy viewing women as two tits and a vagina to see that.

    I mean it’s clear from these type of posts that these men havn’t had much luck with women and I can see why. That’s why they go after 20 year olds because they are more inexperienced and more likely to lack prespective to call the BS. Their personality is more meallable and undeveloped, that’s the only reason I can think someone would be able to tolerate this sort of attitude.

     

  4. 814
    lian

    So I see alot of what men want on here out of a relationship.. warm, loving, nurting, gentle, sensitive. Well guess what, those are the main things I want from my male partner as well. They are what human beings want! The only difference between men and women is the testosterone and estrogen – women carry babies and men produce them. Everything else is the same, women can be just as strong, smart and logical, just as skilled and profiecent as a man because our brains are essentially the same.

     

    What men don’t realize is that women have just as many dreams, desires  and amitions as a man can have, and if they have the means and opportunites they will most likely persue those interests. To deny  women that in favour of men is a form of sexism and oppression that many of you are so brainwashed and don’t even realize you are guilty of.

    Most women are not going to be happy being just a housewife, we want to contribute to society and foster confidence in our daughters aswell instead of feeling trapped and dependent in a toxic relationship where the woman cannot be her full self.

    Why you men would want to inflict this unhappiness  on women shows how selfish and how much of an insecure control freak you are.

     

    And enough with the double standards! Yes are socity has produced somewhat narcissitic and entitled populace these days and that can be said for both men and women. Although I find it’s mostly with the younger generation and those whose maturity and self-awareness is on the same level.

    1. 814.1
      Karl R

      lian said:

      “So I see alot of what men want on here out of a relationship.. warm, loving, nurting, gentle, sensitive. Well guess what, those are the main things I want from my male partner as well.”

      That makes sense. You’ve probably dumped (or  avoided dating) a few men who lacked those traits.

      Furthermore, if a man (particularly one of the men you dumped) showed up and claimed that he was dumped because he was too short, or not successful enough, too honest, or “too nice” … what would your response be? Would you point out that it’s unlikely that he’s getting dumped for those reasons?

      That’s essentially what happened with Michelle (one of the original letter writers). She believed she wasn’t getting a relationship because she was smart, direct, and independent. Most of us were pointing out that it’s unlikely that she was getting passed over or dumped for those reasons.

       

      lian said:

      “What men don’t realize is that women have just as many dreams, desires  and amitions as a man can have, and if they have the means and opportunites they will most likely persue those interests. To deny  women that in favour of men is a form of sexism and oppression that many of you are so brainwashed and don’t even realize you are guilty of.”

      Dating is not a meritocracy. Dating is not egalitarian. Nobody owes you a relationship.

      Seriously, what ambitions, dreams and interests of yours are being thwarted just because Anonymous (or any other man) has chosen to date other women? How are you being oppressed by their decision to date other women?

      If you want to pursue your ambitions and dreams, you probably shouldn’t date or marry someone who is sexist. How is that oppressive? I believe most women would find it liberating not to date those men.

       

       

      lian said:

      “Most women are not going to be happy being just a housewife, we want to contribute to society and foster confidence in our daughters aswell instead of feeling trapped and dependent in a toxic relationship where the woman cannot be her full self.”

      How are you being trapped or dependent, because of their decision not to date you? How are you in a toxic relationship, because they’ve decided not to date you?

      I don’t want a housewife. I want someone who will bring in a second income … so I dated women who preferred to have a career. If Anonymous wants a housewife, he should date women who aspire to be housewives. I don’t see how either of us are preventing women from becoming their full selves. We just narrowed down the pool of women who make a good fit for us.

  5. 815
    lian

    Hi Karl,

    Thanks for your comment. I think you misunderstood my post and are making a few assumptions. It has nothing to do with men wanting to date me or not. I’m 28 years old and make less than 40k. My post was mostly directed at the sexist lean of this topic. A man not wanting to date me is not an issue for me that person isn’t the type for me, I think most of the people who feel this way don’t have a good sense of reality.  most people don’t mesh in that way and aren’t compatible.

    Women who go on 10 dates and wonder why they haven’t found Mr. Right thinkthat something Iis wrong with them or with men, when really it ia just most people aren’t compitable in that way and see aomething that rubs them the wrong way about the person. These women don’t have many standards and expect everyone else to be the same

    As for me, I’m pretry much a neck breaker and have rejected many guys either for the same reason and the fact I can’t go out with all bajillion guys. Men resent this and and become women haters and that for rejecting them and turn into angsty middle age teenagers with pedophillia, when their lack of success probably has to do with them as you can see with the attitudes they have that no desent person would develope.

    I give zero fucks what Anonymous thinks about me lol. He can go out with the 20 yr old, 2 idiots removed from the general population and 1 less to hit on me. It is not my issue, but potrays it as if it is women’s. The fact you defended this person is questionable.

    I agree with the conclusions  you came to but the the assumptions were way off. I meant just what I typed.

    1. 815.1
      Karl R

      lian,

      You have a point about the general slant of this topic. Certain topics draw the interest of specific types of people, largely based on the title of the topic. This blog topic / discussion has been active for at least 10 years, and it’s generally drawn four types of people:

      1. Men who dislike dating smart, successful women.

      2. Smart, successful women who find dating extremely difficult.

      3. Men who like dating smart, successful women.

      4. Smart, successful women who have little (or average) difficulty dating.

       

      The first type typically is sexist. The second type blames their problems on men’s sexism (even though it’s generally not the cause of the dating difficulty). Those two subsets cause the sexist lean of the conversation.

      Based on what you had written in the two posts, I did (incorrectly) assume that you were part of the second type. Based on what you’ve just said, you’re not part of any of those four types.

       

      lian said:

      “The fact you defended this person is questionable.”

      I don’t really think I defended him. Marika did a wonderful job of pointing out that he’s as arrogant and demanding as the women he despises. He also did a wonderful job of demonstrating why nobody in their right mind should listen to him.

      Based on what he said (about himself and his beliefs), he’s rude, obnoxious, extremely opinionated, and sexist.

      In the interest of fairness, however, there are plenty of shortcomings that you or I could point out, without accusing him of misdeeds that he probably hasn’t performed (like oppressing or trapping women).

      Based on what he said, he’s not even getting into relationships with the 20-somethings that he boasts about. He’s getting a few dates and maybe some casual sex.

       

      lian said:

      “Women who go on 10 dates and wonder why they haven’t found Mr. Right thinkthat something Iis wrong with them or with men, when really it ia just most people aren’t compitable in that way and see aomething that rubs them the wrong way about the person. These women don’t have many standards and expect everyone else to be the same”

      I think you’re being a little unfair here. In general (and I’m basing this largely on posts in other threads), the women have standards. They go on 10, 20 or 30 dates, finally meet a guy that they’re attracted to, then they project their attraction onto him … and get confused / upset when he’s not equally attracted.

      For some, there may be some ego-centrism involved as well. They think they’re a great catch, so they can’t understand why the man doesn’t automatically agree with them.

       

      lian,

      I fully agree with your attitude towards dating. It sounds like you’ll find dating much easier and less frustrating than most. Good luck.

      1. 815.1.1
        Marika

        Anonymous 

        I think it’s actually great that you know exactly what you want in a partner and what would make you happy. For many of us figuring that out is half the battle.

        Can I ask, though, if you’ve considered what a great and caring woman gets out of being with you?

        Once you find the woman who will care for you & your children and be there for you when you get home, will she be loved, supported, listened to etc by you? Will you support her dreams as you want her to do for you? Otherwise, you’re just using this woman to cater to your needs. Which is what a ‘narc’ does.

      2. 815.1.2
        Russell

        Karl R said

        “They go on 10, 20 or 30 dates, finally meet a guy that they’re attracted to, then they <em>project</em> their attraction onto him … and get confused / upset when he’s not equally attracted.

        For some, there may be some ego-centrism involved as well. They think they’re a great catch, so they can’t understand why the man doesn’t automatically agree with them.”

        I read what both Anonymous said, and what Lian said, and what you said sparked something in my thinking.  The thing is, there is a little truth in what both of them said.

        The thing is, we have created a world that has allowed traditional roles to be thrown out very quickly, and yet evolution had taken a very long time getting us to where we were, before we created a world where men and women actually do not need each other in the ways that they had for eons.

        In the biological drive to get our genes into the next generation, men and women had different strategies.  For men, it was breed with anything that would hold still long enough.  For women, it was to secure the absolute best male she could, and then convince him to stick around long enough to raise the offspring.

        So what has set Anonymous off, and many other men, for that matter.  Well, that biological drive in women has a name now…and we call it hypergamy.  We have all seen it.  I think every man can tell of a girl they were dating, often very seriously, and one day, she meets a better male.  Suddenly she is going out with other girls, or so she claims.  She is spending more time on her phone.  Going over to her friend’s house more, etc…  The entire time, you feel the change.  Once it has happened once, you are more aware of it.  if you question, you are of course, told that you are being paranoid.  But you aren’t.  The reality is that she is in the middle of a courtship dance.  She is trying to test this new guy to see if he is serious, and interested in a long term relationship.  At the point she is convinced he is serious, she will end the former relationship, and now be involved with the new guy.   We have experienced that, and seen it happen to others.

        This story is quite old, and was even illustrated in the Bible, of all places.  Both men and women want to be loved and respected by their partner, but I think this need is different, and I have read articles that backs that notion up.  I believe that for women, the need for respect, when fulfilled, simply makes her feel more loved and emotionally fulfilled.   For men, it makes us feel more secure, and we absolutely have to have that respect to function properly, in a relationship.   The reason seems simple.  Hypergamy.  The old biological drive.   If she is not respecting you, then you fear that you are going to lose her.  A relationship filled with fear is not good for either women or men.

        I do not think we are ever going back, not without a huge world tragedy that removes our way of living, but I will say this…I do not see men and women as happy together as they were when I was younger.  I think relationships were much more solid and fulfilling emotionally, when a man and woman both needed, and wanted each other.  If you need something, you naturally take better care of it, than if you just want it.  That’s just human nature.  We will risk more, and sacrifice more, for what we need, than what we just want.

        Now add in what Marika said.

        “I think it’s actually great that you know exactly what you want in a partner and what would make you happy. For many of us figuring that out is half the battle.”

        The world we live in now, has created a situation that is counter productive to people finding their mate quickly.

        Two of Evan’s posts talked about part of the problem, which is casual sex, and how it actually takes power away from the woman in relationships.  The bottom line is that women are going to pursue the best men they can get, and those men are thus going to be having an enormous amount of sex.  I had roommates that fit into that category, and I assure you that sex became very cheap to them.  Oh sure, they would rather be castrated than turn down sex, but it meant nothing to them, other than self gratification.  These guys, are of course, in no hurry to settle down…not until they meet a woman that truly knocks them out.  This will be both in looks and personality.  Her looks will get him to pursue her, and once he has a relationship going with her, it is her personality that will convince him to end his single days.  In short, she has to make him feel a lot better about himself than the other women did.

        Of course, we need to note that the top 20% of guys, overall, will not hesitate to sleep with the top 50 to 60% of women.  And as we move down to the top 70% to 80% of men, that goes down another 10%, and so on.  In other words, when it comes to casual sex, men are more than willing to sleep down…to sleep with women whose looks are not enough to light his heart on fire.  Women, not so much.  They tend to be much choosier, so they do not understand this aspect about men.  I think they do in a way, but not enough to allow it to affect how they approach the search for a mate.  A woman is not going to be honest about her place in life.  If she is a 6 or 7, and is having sex, and short term relationships with guys who are 8 to 10, then in her mind, those guys are attainable.  They aren’t.

        This is the single biggest reason that more and more women are single into their 40s.  College and career can be blamed for some delay, but not the push into their 40s and 50s.   They are waiting for those unattainable guys to choose.  Those unattainable guys are also delaying because they are having the time of their lives.  All the sex they can handle, with no long term commitments.  And marriage is risky…so..

        By the time women get to the point that they realize it isn’t going to happen with those 9s or 10s they are sleeping with…they are somewhat tainted…the baggage that Anonymous alluded to.  The bitterness will come from having to settle, and this is likely the cause for women always trying to change guy.  She wants him to become…More….because she has had more.

        But, lian is also right.  By that time, the men also have baggage.

        I tell younger couples I know to stay together, and work things out, because they will be in for a rude awakening if they think it will be a fun adventure trying to find a better mate.  Like I tell them…when you were young and dating, you had a good shot at one of the good ones.  But when your are divorced, and in your 30s or older, the good ones are often still in good relationships.  It’s not that there are no good ones to find.  It’s that they are just a lot rarer, because many of the good ones…being good ones, are in successful relationships, and thus removed from the dating pool.

        Thus the need for good dating advice.  It’s a jungle out there.

  6. 816
    sorcha

    “Of course, we need to note that the top 20% of guys, overall, will not hesitate to sleep with the top 50 to 60% of women.  And as we move down to the top 70% to 80% of men, that goes down another 10%, and so on.  In other words, when it comes to casual sex, men are more than willing to sleep down…to sleep with women whose looks are not enough to light his heart on fire.”

    I think this is a quite a lot of bias and generalization. Women like this are few and far between, although they might be more common in the media and the one’s you here about the most from disgruntled men they don’t represent your average women. But I think that’s the one of the reasons women who remain single do remain single, they see one thing about the guy they’re dating they don’t like and move on to the next one and complain they can’t find any guys. Women of all ages can find guys if they put a bit of effort into it, despite what they MGTOW crowd want you to believe. And all of us who at least have windows in our basements know that all men and women can get a partner, maybe not the 10 they want which is a lot of princess’s and princo’s problem but if they dated more in their league they would more likely find someone amazing for them.

    The 20% of men that women find attractive is not going to match up with the next girl, attractiveness is highly subjective among women. I admit I don’t find most men attractive but the ones whom I do, my friend will be like girl what do you see in him and around and around so most guys are probably covered.  I don’t look at guys as “8” or “10’s” this is a man thing you are projecting. What makes a man attractive to me is that we are comfortable with each other, have some things in common, can have fun, and how he makes me feel. A mix of appearance and personality and no he doesn’t have to be a brad pit just someone I find attractive with all of their qualities. If I’m happy and content with this person and settled, the thought of finding someone “better” is something that I’m like not even going to think of thinking. A divorce in my mind would come about if the pair grew apart, and became unhappy with each other over time which happens with friends, lovers etc. sadly.

    A guy like anonymous would be a “beta” in the real world. No wonder guy’s like this need money to get girls, well guess what the type of girl’s you’ll be attracting are sluts and hoes, the  type of the women you disdain. A guy can get a girl in the real world just by being himself, the games, the lies, the formulas, the ego, the promiscuity and is big turn off to a girl who is loyal, honest and not into any of that herself. Hating a whole gender because of a few bad experiences??? Most of those have had those and have the maturity to not paint and entire gender with the same brush. Honestly, I think guys like this and MGTOW might be closet homos and can’t come to terms with it. They do not like women or respect women, just what they can get from them. I have seen all the same behavior in men in the same form and different, but  acknowledge those were a few bad eggs and not a representation of an entire gender who is as different and varied as anything. I don’t understand men being so bent out of shape at a women’s superficiality when they are the type of men to get involved with a women just because of that. Stop trying to pick women up at clubs and whore houses.

    Anyway I think the author made a good point and gets. When I was in my early and mid 20s I acted like a clingy immature child, and didn’t understand why men would be uninterested in me but now that I’ve worked on those characteristics that can come off as toxic and draining to other people I’m a lot more successful with the type of men I prefer. I think career women have their head in their books and jobs so much that their personality development suffers due to delay and lack of experiences with men; book smarts but no street smarts. But we all get it eventually, unless we are that stubborn and continue to blame all our problems on other people or the opposite sex.

  7. 817
    Anonymous

    Thing is that what many of these strong, smart career-driven women don’t understand is that many of us men don’t want to be caretakers.  That’s a woman’s job!  We want to be protectors & providers!

    1. 817.1
      Pistola

      Anonymous,

      You’re tilting at windmills. Career women don’t want to date a guy like you. You don’t want to date them. It’s essentially a non-issue; we aren’t looking for you, you’re not looking for us, so why get all balled up about it?

      1. 817.1.1
        hunter

        pistola,  so I have been told, career women have to introduce their “catch” to other career women…

        1. Pistola

          Hm. I don’t know any career women like that. I suppose maybe that’s a younger subset. All of the career women I know are fine either single or in relationships; we just feel like it has to be the right fit, and we’re OK taking time to find that. But, I could see how for younger women where maybe social pressures are more intense, that could be the case…

      2. 817.1.2
        hunter

        pistola, your friends in relationships, “never” introduce/talk about their significant others?…yes, they do…surely, a career woman would not say she is seeing a burger flipper, or, a gardner, etc…

         

        1. Pistola

          Sure, but in the way anyone else would. I don’t know any woman who’s looking for some kind of trophy. We all have our own money, education and success; we don’t need arm candy, we’re powerful and happy in our own right.

          I work with career women ages 27 to 50 six days a week. None of them are looking for trophy guys either. Just a good boyfriend or a good husband. I don’t understand where you’re getting these ideas about what women do or want; they strike me as bizarre and having nothing to do with real, actual career women.

        2. Pistola

          If what you’re suggesting, Hunter, is that educated career women don’t want to go out with men in service industry jobs, yes, you’re generally correct. And there are two reasons for this:

          –If the woman wants kids, kids are really expensive. So she has to choose a partner who makes enough money for them to be able to raise a family together. In today’s economy almost no one makes enough money for one of the partners not to work. Both parents usually have to work. So she’s prudent and correct in choosing a partner with a job that can support the financial needs of raising a family if that’s what she wants to do.

          –Where I live, men who work in service industry jobs have a disproportionately higher rate of substance abuse and addiction because many of those jobs are ones you can show up and perform hung over or stoned, whereas most professional jobs are not.

          No healthy woman wants an addict for a partner. For that matter, neither does any healthy man. The career men I see avoid women working in service industry for the same reason. They, too, are looking for women of similar income and education as themselves for all of the same reasons.

        3. hunter

          pistol, I understand, we all have our dealbreakers…

        4. hunter

          pistola, all I said, was a career woman would surely not introduce a burger flipper/gardener as her lover/partner/husband to other career women……..

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *