Why Would a Younger Woman Want to Date a Much Older Man?

Okay, Evan, I agree mostly with your opinion on younger men/older women. What do you say about the reverse? I mean, I can see why an older man would want to date a younger woman – physically that is, but why would a 28-year-old woman want to date a man 45 or more?

Penelope

Dear Penelope,

Beats the shit out of me.

I can totally understand why older men go for younger women. There’s no denying that they’re, for the most part, in better shape, with better skin, and less baggage from broken relationships. Time creates wisdom – but it also creates responsibilities and complications – mortgage, kids, career, etc. All of this makes dating more and more complex as we get older. It’s a lot easier for a man to take out a carefree, responsibility free, baggage free, wrinkle free 28-year-old, which is why so many men try to go in that direction. I’m not condoning this. I’m OBSERVING that it happens.

Still, most of them fail miserably, for the exact same reasons that I think Penelope is suggesting. Men want much younger women, but rarely do much younger women want older men. Put another way, if a woman has an array of other quality options closer to her age range, what incentives would she have to date a man who is SEVENTEEN YEARS OLDER?

She doesn’t NEED a guy who’s 45. She can find that same amazing guy at age 30. Or 35. Or 40.

Not many, I’m thinking.

Before any 40+ people get all hot and bothered about this – I am not judging. There is nothing wrong with aging. I do think people improve with age (my wife is nodding). But let’s not pretend that we, as a culture, don’t worship at the altar of youth. If you’re over the age of 40 and have ever said, “But I’m told I look five years younger than my age”, then you’re not immune to it yourself. But see, for men who covet younger women, it’s not whether you look good for your age – it’s what age you really are.

Because it’s competitive out there for all of us. People have choices. And nobody has more choices than a 28-year-old woman. If she wants to date a guy who is 6’2”, makes $400,000+, likes skiing, is within ten miles of her house and five years of her age, you know what? She could probably find him. All she has to do is go on Match.com, and wade through a few thousand applicants. The point is, she doesn’t NEED a guy who’s 45. She can find that same amazing guy at age 30. Or 35. Or 40. She doesn’t need a guy who will be taking Viagra when she’s sexually peaking at 43.

Don’t get me wrong, there are advantages in a 45-year-old guy. He’s probably a man. He’s got the job and the home and the car, and been divorced with a kid already. So if a woman finds it more appealing to just step into that world – to jump from the prolonged adolescence of the late 20’s into full-fledged settled-down womanhood – that could make sense.

Most of them are completely creeped out at the prospect of dating a guy who was alive when JFK was alive.

There are many other things that are attractive about older men. They embody wisdom and stability. They can afford nicer restaurants and vacations and have cultivated greater tastes in the arts. They’re more experienced, more chivalrous, and more likely to want to settle down than a twentysomething party boy.

And yet, they probably resemble Penelope’s dad more than they resemble her brother….

This is the most compelling reason behind why younger women might go for older men: they’re daddy substitutes. An older man’s going to be the strong, nurturing guy who takes care of her, teaches her, and treats her like a princess – the kind of relationship that she probably lacked growing up.

Hey, I’m no psychologist – just your friendly, neighborhood dating coach. But I do know women, and lots of women in their 20’s. And the truth is that most of them are completely creeped out at the prospect of dating a guy who was alive when JFK was alive. These women were born in the EIGHTIES. They grew up with computers. They’re contemporaries with Britney Spears. Whether we like it or not, there is nearly a full generation gap between 28 and 45. A few women may bridge this gap for lust or money or dimestore psychological reasons, but most of the 28-year-old women I know would prefer to date a great, stable 30-40 year-old – who also knows what Snapchat is.

Okay, older men – tell me why I’m wrong. But don’t forget, you and your younger girlfriends are the EXCEPTION. I’m writing about the RULE.

By the way, my girlfriend wants it on record that she would totally sleep with Harrison Ford if he should be reading this. So as a gift to both of them: Sure, why not? Happy 66th, Indy!

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Comments:

  1. 361
    Maureen

    My daughter is 18 years old and moved out. She still is very immature. She only has a learners permit to drive, and goes to college, but refuses to get a job because she can mooch off of anybody else. She moved in with my ex-boyfriend who is 43 years old. My ex-boyfriend and I have a mutual 3 1/2 year-old son. My daughter lacked the father figure as she was growing up. I totally fear that my daughter is going to get romantically involved with my ex. He’s being nice to her, giving her rides when she needs them, takes care of her medical needs, and supports her. This is the sort of thing that my daughter likes. He’s using her to get to me. I truly believe he will want a relationship with her, since he could not get a full romantic relationship with me. We had a bad break up for over a year then tried to reconcile. He wanted more from me then I could give right away. So now we are going through a custody battle while my daughter is living in his home. He is a man who loves his sex, I so fear that he will want a relationship from my daughter just to get what he needs. if they were to have a relationship and get married, she would be my 3 yr old’s sister, and stepmother. My ex already has three grandchildren. He also has five children of his own which 3 of them are older than my daughter. I just find this to be sickening.

    1. 361.1
      twinkle

      That is totally dysfunctional and weird,but she’s only 18 and probably she’ll mature significantly in a few yrs. Frankly I think it’s partly your fault that she didn’t have a healthy environment to grow up in so u bear some responsibility, but hopefully u already know that.

      I guess u’ve already told her this is a bad idea, and my advice is leave her alone after this, don’t nag her further. She may be doing this for your attention and u will make it worse by nagging her. Just ignore their rship if u can, although u should still ensure your daughter knows that u love her. 

      With your ex, don’t get involved in twisted games, convey class, calm and cool rationality, not emotionality and bitterness. It’s best if u can reach the point where u truly feel it and not just act it. He will have no power to hurt u once u get there, and pple who play these stupid mind-games are often infuriated when the other party remains calm and indifferent. 🙂 Then hopefully they’ll feel stupid and give up.

  2. 362
    Oco

    it makes some sense for a woman in her 20s to want to date a guy 40 or older: guys in their twenties are often not ready or interested in serious relationships . They’re not stable, not secure in themselves, often more interested in video games and drinking with their buddies. Some guys take a longer  time to grow up and if they just don’t get there until 35, 40 years old, women their age may not want them. Believe it, because women over 35 (I am one) are more picky, might expect a lot from their partners because they know what they want and what they need and how to get it for themselves. a women in her 20s, frankly much more easy to please, might see a moderately successful 40 year old man as a catch where to a 40 year old woman he is a liability. Here’s where the problems may come in: people change A LOT between ages 25-30. What a 25 expects from life and relationships will change and people often dont really understand themselves when they are young. 40 year old man is likely to be set in his ways and may be surprised when he realizes down the road he’s no longer with that a carefree 25yo he met because she grew up and doesn’t exist anymore

  3. 363
    genie

    My cousin is 20 and beautiful and she is dating / engaged to a 53 year old. This screams insanity to me. Any one have any rational explanations and what do I do … I was really close to her but I am sickened now.

  4. 364
    Jorge

    Well I’ll be the big 60! next year fortunately when people ask me how old I am I reply have a guess and their response is usually 45? so I say… spot on!. I have been dating younger women in fact much much younger than me in their late 20s which is great fun.
    I keep fit and frankly I have maintain my fitness level my weight is the same as when I was 30 with a 40 waist and my fitness level hasn’t decrease in fact it has increased.
    I see age as a number, if a younger women wants me, she wants me for what I am not because of my age and the relationship may last or it may not, who cares, tomorrow I could get knock down by a car or may be she will.
    Just enjoy the moment while you still can!!

  5. 365
    Happygirl88

    Actually I’m 26 and im married to my husband who is 52, and we have 4 children together. We have been together for about 9 years now and we r so happy together Neither of us had ever been in relationship before and all kids belong to us. So age gap relationships work just as well as same age ones

    1. 365.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      No, YOUR relationship may work, but that doesn’t mean they work overall. Evidently, your husband met you when you were 17 and he was 43. I’m not going to say that’s wrong, but I’m pretty sure it’s illegal. Glad you’re happy – just know that you’re an exception, not the rule.

      1. 365.1.1
        DJ

        I agree 17 is too young to marry but the age depends on the state.  I know in the South there were and maybe still are some states where you can get married at 15 with parental permission.  I don’t agree it is wise but it can be legal.

    2. 365.2
      Al

      Wow. I’m glad you’re happy and all. I sincerely hope things work out for you but, I have to say, I’m REALLY disturbed by the fact that your husband pursued a 17 yr old at the age of 43. Damn, that would be like me going after one of my son’s friends. I cannot even imagine doing such a thing. Those are children! Yikes!
       
       
      There is something seriously wrong there, which is the reason laws against this type of thing were enacted. If he’s got a penchant for “young things” that isn’t likely to stop as you continue to age. At 26 you probably still look pretty young. What happens when you exceed his preferred barely post-adolescent girl age level?

  6. 366
    Dave M

    “… rarely do much younger women want older men …” Can you back that up with reliable data, or is it your conjecture, or maybe anecdotal evidence? Your argument seems to have an unqualified assertion as its beginning point. Maybe it doesn’t. If not, please give your source.

    Secondly, I am 46 but I was not alive when JFK was alive. It’s a bit dodgy to include a smaller subset as representative of people from an entire decade. Also, I do know who Limp Bizkit were but they haven’t been popular in quite some time! 😉 Although this may be an old post, I don’t see a dateline on it. In any case I follow popular music a lot and really like some of it (although I like current indie bands more).

    The point being that you’re making a sweeping statement – seemingly a guess – about people in their 40s being hopelessly out of the current zeitgeist. That isn’t always the case, especially within the last couple of decades or so. This shows me you don’t understand older people; what they want or need. That means you’re blind to half of your equation here. You also don’t say why you think the JFK thing would be relevant to a successful relationship. Same thing with knowing this band or that. There’s a complicated dynamic you really can’t sum up in two somewhat questionable hypothetical examples. And think about the many ways in which two partners who are close in age can still have trouble relating to each other.

    You have an interesting conversation starter here but you make a lot of seemingly opinion-based statements as if they’re automatic truth. And, no offense, a decent chunk of this seems based on assumptions or guesses. It seems a bit irresponsible to me to be offering this this public advice without giving it much thought or research.

    1. 366.1
      DJ

      Dave, I have spent the last hour reading views like these on at least 3 different websites and I have come away with one basic conclusion.  Women in their 30’s and 40’s are  mad as Hell that older men want to marry younger women for all kinds of reasons including that he could not possibly be sexual enough or he is out of touch or he is just some pervert.  None of these views are scientific nor are they likely to be true and  certainly not in all cases.

  7. 367
    nah

    I am 29 and bf will be 46…17 year difference…. I googled this bc I still have goals (marriage) and, while he says marriage is in his goals, I’m not 100% (and that’s based on comments he makes to others about them being married and why he looks so young) I do love him, and my daughter does as well, but I’m looking for that marriage that was meaningful like back in the 50s…my point… I just feel like I’m being pacified “oh yes. One day I’ll marry you”…we already live the role…. I cook, clean, laundry and help him with anything and I work and take care of my daughter…all as a unit…can’t help but feel like bc I give so much why would he need to marry me…. Sort of like giving away there milk without paying for the cow…

    1. 367.1
      Al

      I kind of hate to say this, but I’ve seen this scenario play out WAY too many times over the years with friends and family. If he’s putting off marrying you now he will continue to do so until you get tired of waiting and either give him an ultimatum or walk away. He’s very happy with the status quo. Right now you are complying with everything HE wants so he will likely continue down that path until you draw a firm line in the sand about what YOU want out of the relationship. Why is it all his choice? Aren’t you half the equation? You have as much right to decide the direction of your lives together as he does.

  8. 368
    nah

    Al, thank you… those are pretty much my thoughts. But if I have been very honest about what I want and periodically bring it up so he still knows that’s my goal, and he still says that’s what he wants…at what point do I know that is not going to happen or it is going to happen? I know that might be an answer from within. I have told him before that after 2 years of being t​​​​​ogether if there is no commitment, then I will move on, but I don’t want to harp and be pushy…so if I’ve given him my time frame am  I just to wait it to out? I just feel like I’m giving so much and worried I will be the fool in the end….

    1. 368.1
      twinkle

      It’s hard to understand your situation without knowing how long u’ve been together, but it sounds like quite long. I kinda agree with Al, like u’re doing so much for him, is he doing a lot of stuff for you too, to show his appreciation and love? Otherwise it’s so unequal, and it sends him the message that u don’t think u deserve more.
       
      Here’s some context on your situation. I’m slightly younger than u, and my bf of 8 mths is slightly older, so quite similar age gaps. I haven’t done the cooking, cleaning, laundry stuff etc for him that u have, although I intend to start but I have no experience with those things yet. He has said he wants to get married if we’re still together in a few yrs, when I’m abt 30-31. As sweet as he is, I still have my doubts over the rship, because it seems to be a bit too slow, I want kids and am scared of putting things off too long…Thus it’s kinda surprising for me to read your story, and what u’re putting up with. (Again, I gotta clarify it depends how long u’ve been together, if it’s already like 1.5 years or more, my advice is this doesn’t sound ideal). I guess u already have a daughter so u feel less biological urgency than us women without kids, but still u’re setting a bad precedent abt what u’ll accept.
       
      Maybe u should read Why He Disappeared, it’ll help u understand men better. It changed my life, and my dating experiences were already pretty good before I read it.
       
      “I don’t want to harp and be pushy”. That’s probably wise, but don’t wait for him so long in an unequal rship either. I hope u figure things out.

  9. 369
    Victoria

    Ah.  The May-December argument.  Trying to make logic out of a feeling. I think that there are no rules for who we we become enamored with.
    I’m 27, a college grad, I own my own home, have a nest egg, investments, and I’m all around – stable.  My father is 72, my brother is 46, and my sister is 40.  My interests vary greatly from most women my age.  I quite enjoy the sciences and I’m a bit of a nerd. I date people that I connect with.  He may be younger than me, or older than me, but I see no qualms with me dating someone in their 40s.   It all comes down to attraction.
    Can I get dates easily? Yeah. I’m attractive and and I’ve got a good head on my shoulders.  Just because I can get dates, doesn’t mean I’m dating the right people.
    What are my chances of finding a twenty something guy that is just as stable as me with my interests? I can assure you match.com does not have a filter for nerd or good conversationalist. Finding a connection with someone is special, and should be considered.
    So here I am.  A 27 year old that doesn’t have daddy issues, financially independent, that would date a 40 something year old man. It all comes down to finding someone you connect with and are attracted to.

  10. 370
    Mel L

    I think the “age” question is a great debate, but the real thing about age is it’s just a number. I’m 48 & I was married for 21 years to a woman who was 2years younger than me. I thought she was my soul mate, however as I said 21 years of marriage, 2 WONDERFUL DAUGHTERS & a divorce. If you don’t have fun, like your mate, have a say as to what YOU want, then it’s a doomed relationship. Communication and admiration for your mate is a must, I’m currently going out with a 27, 34 & 38y/o & I’m having the best time ever with each of them. It’s not an age debate unless you want one: stay in shape, look good for your mate, have fun & treat them with respect. That’s what life is, enjoy it or be miserable and don’t watch it go by. older, younger, or the same age, it just doesn’t freaking matter if the person your with doesn’t make you smile or motivate you to be better; DOOOM,BORDOM, WHATEVER WORD YOU USE IN THE END IT WILL BE THE SAME RESULT SADDNES. It took me almost 3 years to get over my ex, but if they don’t want you, age is not going to keep you together. Your Happiness is what’s important.

  11. 371
    Orange Tan

    I’m dating a 35 year old beauty, ex model, that still looks like she’s 20, perfect slim figure, incredibly warm hearted, kind, smart generous and loving. I am 62 years old, and age is just a number! The sex is amazing, every day and every way, we have been at it for more than 2 years now, intimate, loving considerate sex. What does she see in me? I have no idea, I am not particularly rich, or good looking, thinning hairline, a bit of a paunch, but not too noticeable. We do “connect” spiritually and mentally. It’s what we are put on this Earth for, to interact with each other, best of all with unconditional love. Life could not get any better.

  12. 372
    David

    I am 78, she is a beautiful 25 yr old. We live together for 18 months. She takes great care of me. I’ve tried to talk her out of being with me many times. I am not rich or good looking, so why does she want to be with me? She says she really cares for me and wants to take care of me until I go “bye bye” the only reason I could see would be money, but as I’ve said I am not rich. I live on social security with a small pension.. It’s this or living in a nursing home?

    1. 372.1
      Karmic Equation

      Is she paying rent? Utilities? Does she use your car or have her own?

      She’s trying to pull an Anna-Nicole Smith and hope that you will will what you have to her.

      The only time I think a 25 yo is dating a 75 yo for love would be if she were a millionairess in her own right.

      Otherwise, you’re just a meal ticket or free rent.

      She’s probably got boys on the side, too.

      I’m sorry to burst your bubble. But “normal” 25 yo women don’t date 75 yo men willingly.

  13. 373
    Robert

    The conventional wisdom sees the older/younger relationships as a disaster waiting to happen, however, I have known several successful relationships that went both ways. One of my former colleagues was 30 years younger than her husband. A lot of this has to do with my profession as a college professor. We are often are so engrossed in just getting through grad school that we skip the dating part. Once we are through, in our early to mid-thirties we suddenly are ready to date. We are now in close proximity to grad students who are strongly interested in our own field of study and have a lot in common. I have seen this happen with undergrads, but that is actually rare–it can be a career buster.

  14. 374
    Not disclosed

    I’m not sure what to say…. I just turned 40 going to 41, married. This girl in her early 20’s (21 at the time), came onto me…. Loved that I was laid back and easy going and not continuously trying to “get in her pants”…. Drove her wild that I was more “non challant” about things.

    We started seeing eachother “on the side”  (which I must admit), made things more intense. She broke it off with me not because of age (19 years her senior), but situations. Told me time and again was best she’s ever been with, (and in committed relationship currently), but still has sex with me at ANY given opportunity. Only (much) older guy she’s been with…. Maybe I’m an exception…. Don’t get it.

    1. 374.1
      Al

      “Maybe I’m the exception…”  Nope. What you are is a cliche. If I had a nickel for every older man who wanted a piece of young tail to convince himself he still “had it” I’d be richer than Gates. Dude, people can be so much more than their egos. Seriously. It’s a beautiful world with amazing, loyal, giving, compassionate people in it. People who love and trust you… like your WIFE. How does she feel about that 20 something POA? Is she as impressed with your skills as the “Luva” of a woman half your age as you seem to be? What would your friends and family think if they knew you wrote this? Imagine your kids (if you have any) reading this. Would they think Dad’s so cool? And just so you know, women flatter men ALL the time without really meaning it. We learn that skill in the cradle. Oh (insert name here) you’re the best lover I’ve EVER had.”  I honestly can’t believe there are still men out there foolish enough to fall it. I feel really sorry for your wife. I hope your karma finds you very soon and someone treats you as callously as you treated her.

      1. 374.1.1
        Indira

        Awesome post, Al. Not Disclosed is why women hate men. He could have been my husband–thought this 20-something was all over him. I found out about it, we split up, then he learned she was just trying to get his cash or whatever else she could out of him. Once she knew we’d split she took off because she knew he’d go broker paying alimony and dealing with ex-wife crap, so was was outta there. Then he tried crawling back to me–no dice.

        Not Disclosed, you and your ego will pay for this one day.

      2. 374.1.2
        Buck25

        AL,

        If I see a “cliche” here, it’s you. Your  attitude absolutely reeks of judgment and condescension, combined with all sorts of dire threats about what those who defy your personal stereotypes have experienced (or “will”-according to you, of course).  I’m single, I am an adult, and I will date whoever I damn well please, so long as (a) she’s of legal age and (b) she wants to be with me. What you (or anyone else) thinks, is entirely (not just slightly, ENTIRELY) irrelevant! Don’t like my attitude? The feeling is mutual.

        I don’t know how old you are, and don’t care, but as I told a 61 year old woman in another thread who stated her male partner was 20 years younger, if it works for her, she should go for it! The same applies to a man. I’m currently in a relationship with a woman 20 years younger. I met her in real life after three years of searching through mostly older women (50-65) online. Interesting search; the sixty-somethings weren’t physically fit enough, (or in some cases, sexually active enough) to keep up with me, and the fifty-somethings mostly felt entitled to someone younger. I had better luck dating younger women, who honestly seemed to be the ones most attracted to me; I didn’t set out with that as a goal, but that’s what happened online, and in the real world.

        Is a relationship like mine common? No, it’s the exception, not the rule. For most people, most of the time, it doesn’t work.  Most people are happier with an “age group peer”, and that’s fine- but it’s a “rule of thumb”, not a universal truth. The fact we have an exception to that “rule” here, doesn’t make either me or my girlfriend “creepy”, “exploitative”, “wrong”, “dysfunctional”, “perverted”, “deviant” or otherwise meanly motivated. We are simply a man and a woman, of widely different ages, who started as friends, and eventually came to be lovers. Funny thing about “conventional wisdom”; it isn’t always very wise.

        You think I’d feel bad about my kids, or my friends, knowing about that relationship of mine? They do know, of course, as I’m rather open about it, and I’ve encountered no disapproval among them; but even if there were, why would I be ashamed, or need to be? Oh that’s right, according to you, I have crossed some societal line, I have dared to non-conform, and that in your sight, makes me guilty of some kind of crime against womanhood.  I don’t care what you think, what anyone else here thinks, or even what the whole damn world THINKS! There is absolutely NOTHING which gives you the right to dictate who another human being shall love, or that relationships may only exist between two people who are no more than x number of years apart in age. You remind me of what John Stuart Mill said in his essay On Liberty (Mill was speaking of Prohibitionists in 19th century England, but his words apply equally to you). “Theirs is a position, which carried to its logical conclusion, amounts to nothing more nor less than this:”Every other human being shall behave exactly as I think he ought; and the moment he shall deviate in the smallest particular therefrom, I have the right to full redress…” (emphasis mine).  “A man who dates younger women, and the younger women who “enable” him, deserve nothing but contempt, judgement and bad karma, and oh, are they going to get it!”-that’s your version (methinks I can almost hear a cackle of sadistic glee).

        I hate to think of whatever personal life experiences made you so bitter and venomous. You can post your snarky condescension here all you want, but don’t expect me to just let it pass without comment or rejoinder.

  15. 375
    littleraven

    a lot of comments are true and some are ok but eyes of the beholder and trust and loyalty goes a long ways i,m myself is 59 i like too look at younger women and thats ok if a younger women finds me attractive all good , but i ,m old fashion and from Alaska and no kids building a house next year and maybe looking to find love and spoil her and see where it goes ……..

  16. 376
    Chuck

    It’s all in the attitude, I’m 55 and stay current with all the trends, I love my age, in good physical shape, don’t have to take performance drugs and I love the opposite sex. If you want to date a younger or older person the normal rules apply.

  17. 377
    Sam

    The idea of having sex with a guy who is my age, I am 50, makes me cringe. And that is because, being blessed genetically and having a body of 20 yo, I had relationships with 10-15 younger guys.   A closd friend of mine,51, had visited me this year. .. I was very disappointed in his performance.  The vigor of youth just was not there anymore. And we had great sex 10 years ago.

     

     

    1. 377.1
      Al

      And here’s a refreshing little dose of reality. There ARE age issues for men, though they love to deny this fact. An older woman dating a younger man is still perfectly capable of “performing” and may, in fact, be more on par with him libido wise. The reverse is not generally true for older men without medicinal help (which is not the same believe me).  Now I’m sure a slew of guys will jump on this and go on about how amazingly virile THEY are. Oh, no performances issues here, naturally! Right. LOL. It’s always the “other” guys who have all the typical, well documented, naturally occurring effects of aging. Of course, these same men will insist that ALL women over 40 are obese, bitter man haters who have lost interest in sex. The truth is that each and every one of us will get older. You, me, that hot young 25 year old, everyone. We should treat each other they way we’d like to be treated ourselves. If you won’t consider someone your own age… well, how would you feel if someone looked at YOU that same way? If suddenly the only people who would consider dating you were ten to twenty years older and maybe not in terrific shape? Empathy is in very short supply these days.

  18. 378
    George

    Well I am old myself and from my early day’s treasured memories. Here are a couple of lines from a lullaby my dear Mum used to sing to me. 
    I’m just forty-five I’ve got a dear wife, who’s just ten years younger than me. She’s full of enjoyment and plenty of fun and often goes out on the spree.
    She leaves me behind the baby to mind, the house in good order to keep.
    The fire shining bright I’m singing all night whilst rocking the baby to sleep.
    Hope your lives are filled with special memories as you to get older and no matter what your age that you find love and happiness with that special person no matter what the age. Old or young.
    Godbless
     
     

  19. 379
    Chloe

    Stumbled across this article whilst looking for escort work for older women.”understand men.find love.” This writer needs a new slogan.evan u sound majorly confused. Iv dated men 14 yrs older since I was 23 & I wouldn’t do it any different.im now 30 & there’s not a chance I look at guys my age or younger.i did it for 5 wks once.worst 5 wks of my life.paul salmon the footballers son actually.dont go there.hell on earth… Oh so I’m born in the 80s  btw.computers n all that.not that I like them or even have fb etc. Again-just like any kind of taste it all comes down to our own level of maturity,exposure & experiences doesn’t it. Older men are usually more centred, know what they want,aren’t chasing around I feel more grounded, listened to & nurtured by the nice ones I meet.there is ‘good,bad,crazy,unattractive,unstable,weird,creepy’ at whatever age…But again we at all individuals aren’t we. Getting back to the ‘understanding men’ and ‘finding love’ part…maybe some younger women see older men because they fall in love with them for whatever reasons their emotions tell them they want to basically….?

    1. 379.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      You’re seeking “escort work for older women” and giving me advice? Gotcha.

  20. 380
    same same

    yep my research for the day. u should try it.

  21. 381
    Zoe C

    I was married for 31yrs, when I found out my ex was seeing a 27 yr.old. He was 49. He didn’t want to be married to me anymore, so I filed for divorce in 2012. It became final in 2013. She was still married and was pregnant with my ex’s baby. He married her last year. I have been with a man for. 2Yrs. He is my age, and it was the best thing my ex ever did for me. 

  22. 382
    Kady

    I am almost 36, been with and am staying with my 60 year old husband for over 8 years. I work , and do not expect a thing from him . He has had prostate removal , and has some issues physically , but guess what . I love him . Did you ever think that people might just fall in love? Society BLOWS.

    1. 382.1
      Al

      Kady I’m glad you found true love. However, I’m sure you are capable of separating your individual personal situation from larger societal problems. What many of us have a problem with isn’t the errant 60 year old who manages to get into a relationship with a woman practically young enough to be his granddaughter, it’s that far too many men feel entitled to only date women 10-20 plus years their junior. This entire blog was based upon some jerk who couldn’t fathom why younger women weren’t flocking to his door. Sure, love comes in many shapes and sizes, but I do feel that there’s a big problem with entitlement in this country. Luckily, in this particular case it appears to be changing. For some men that’s a huge wake up call. They really aren’t happy that women aren’t at an economic disadvantage anymore and are beginning to have more choice in their romantic partners.

  23. 383
    judy

    No. 6

    Well, one of my devastatingly attractive women friends (aged 34) is married to a man who is now 60.

    It works because they love each other and find each other attractive.

    If she has Daddy issues? Hm. How would I know that? Does he have Mummy issues? Ditto.

    The main thing is, they’re happy and that sounds like a great reason.

  24. 384
    old guy, NOT

    I’m not clear on society dictating what a proper ‘Couple’ is.

    A relationship is none of society”s business.  The ladies that say “disgusting ” or the men that say “jerk” or “creep” likely have problems of their own and need to look inward and take stock of what they see.  I’m not saying those that think this way are necessarily “bad” people but one must remember that words can hurt as badly as a fist. By the way, never say never.

    That being said, my late wife was 27 years my junior and loved me for who and what I am. She was my first true love and soulmate. She taught me what real love is though she did not realize she was doing so. Unconditional love. Forgiveness no matter  the transgression. Loving someone enough to let them go. Trust me when I say “nothing lasts forever” weather your the same age or 50 years apart.

    All you have is the hear and now.

  25. 385
    Belle Bradley

    Me and my man have been dating for 3 years now. In those 3 years we’ve fought so many battles, I’ve lost count of them all. Us against each other and us against  everybody else. We were 18 and 38 years old showing the world how in love we were with each other.

    Many times we were looked at funny because at first sight, you would think father and daughter. Until you saw us kissing on each other, then you would think oh my gosh.

    His son is only 3 years younger than I. And I have a brother also 3 years younger than me.

    His family didn’t mind my age, but my family did have a couple things to say about us.

    And Sometimes my maturity was not mature enough for him.

    To this day, we’re still together and very much in love. It hasn’t been easy. But when you can talk about how you really and truly feel/think, no matter the subject or situation, all it takes is effort and willingness to fight and stand up for what your heart wants.

  26. 386
    Al

    I’m happy for you, for real. If you two have it all going on then you’re the exception to the rule. That being said, doesn’t it ever cross your mind to wonder if this man, who’s old enough to be your father, would have bothered to give you a second glance if YOU had also been 38 when you met each other?Honestly, think about that for a minute. I’m not saying he doesn’t care for you deeply but do you think that he, at 38, would have dated another 38 yer old woman? If not, what does that say about him as a person? I mean, you will also be 38 one day. Doesn’t it make you question what your true worth is to this man? Is it your youth that he values? If he loves your mind would he still love it if you got fat? If you became ill? Maybe your answer is yes, he would. I hope it is. I’d challenge you, when you do reach middle age, to look at the 18 year olds around you and ask yourself what you think of their maturity level as a whole. Because to me your are practically a child. I’m not trying to be rude in any way. You are where you should be for your age. It’s not an insult. 18 thinks and acts like 18, which is entirely natural. Still, I can’t even fathom being attracted to an 18 year old. If you were to date someone that much younger than you…well, he won’t even be born for another two years. Do you think that infant will be someone you’d want to be intimate with one day?

  27. 387
    Joseph Lane

    I’d like to add my piece here. I met a girl when I was 29, we were both swimming in a lake in Amsterdam and we just started talking. Ahe didn’t come up THANK GOD or I’d have run a mile! We sat by the lake, kissed, swam, smoked, and talked. We went to my place and fooled around at which point she told me she was 14. Wow, I was shocked but already smitten. Fast forward 20 years and we are still happily married with three kids, we got married on her 16th birthday so will be 20 years in 2 years.

  28. 388
    Al

    My daughter is 14 and she is WAY too young and innocent for the likes of some 29 year old Hebephile. Yes, there is actually a clinical term for “men” like you. If that had been my child you’d have left Amsterdam missing a very important piece of your anatomy. Lucky for you that your “love affair” worked out without criminal charges or bodily harm from the child’s male relatives. So what exactly are you trying to accomplish by boasting about your success with a pubescent girl on here? Are you attempting to inspire other men to follow in your footsteps?

  29. 389
    sandy

    I’m 24 and I love my bae he is 60 years old and he is the best!!!! I wouldn’t change him for the world!!!

  30. 390
    Mike

    Late to this article I know, but in this age of many marriages going bust by 7 years, why worry about 10-20 -30 years from now? All of us are only one heartbeat away from the Grim Reaper anyway. If you are a guy and find someone who does it for you, go for it and enjoy every minute…there’s a 70% chance she’s going to be the one to leave anyway 🙂

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