Women Who Earn More Than Men – And The Men Who Resent Them!

From the New York Times

For Whitney Hess, a 25-year-old software designer in Manhattan, the tension that ultimately ended her recent relationships was all right there, in the digits on her pay stub.

The awkwardness started with nights out. She would want to try the latest downtown bistro, but her boyfriends, who worked in creative jobs that paid less than hers, preferred diners.

They would say, “Wow, you’re so sophisticated,” she recalled. A first look at her apartment, a smartly appointed studio in a full-service building in TriBeCa, would only reinforce the impression. “They wouldn’t want me to see their apartments,” she said, because they lived in cramped surroundings in distant quadrants of Brooklyn or the Bronx.

One of them, she said, finally just came out and said it. “Look,” Ms. Hess recalled him saying, “it makes me really uncomfortable that you make more money than me. I’m going to put that out on the table and try to get over it.”

But he never got over it, she said.

“The sad thing is that I really liked the guy,” she said. “If that hadn’t been an issue with him, we’d probably still be dating.”

Ms. Hess’s quandary is becoming more common for many young women. For the first time, women in their 20s who work full time in several American cities — New York, Chicago, Boston and Minneapolis — are earning higher wages than men in the same age range, according to a recent analysis of 2005 census data by Andrew Beveridge, a sociology professor at Queens College in New York.

For instance, the median income of women age 21 to 30 in New York who are employed full time was 17 percent higher than that of comparable men.

Professor Beveridge said the gap is largely driven by a gulf in education: 53 percent of women employed full time in their 20s were college graduates, compared with 38 percent of men. Women are also more likely to have graduate degrees. “They have more of everything,” Professor Beveridge said.

The shift is playing out in new, unanticipated ways on the dating front. Women are encountering forms of hostility they weren’t prepared to meet, and are trying to figure out how to balance pride in their accomplishments against their perceived need to bolster the egos of the men they date.

A lot of young women “are of two minds,” said Stephanie Coontz, director of research at the Council on Contemporary Families, a research organization. “On one hand, they’re proud of their achievements, and they think they want a man who shares house chores and child care. But on the other hand they’re scared by their own achievement, and they’re a little nervous having a man who won’t be the main breadwinner. These are old tapes running in their head: ‘This is how you get a man.’ ”

YOUNG affluent women say they are learning to advertise their good fortune in a manner very different from their male counterparts. For men, it is accepted, even desirable, to flaunt their high status. Not so for many women.

“Very, very early in a date,” said Anna Rosenmann, 28, who founded a company called Eco Consulting LA, in Los Angeles, and earns up to $150,000 a year, “a man will drop comments on how much his sales team had made for the year, which meant his bonus was blah, blah, blah.”

But, she said, “that’s not how we were raised.”

Instead, she said, she starts out dates being discreet. “I don’t talk about myself,” she said. “When people ask me, I’m going to be very honest. But I definitely don’t say, ‘My name’s Anna, I’m 28 and I own a business.’ ”

Ms. Rosenmann said that dating considerably older men helps her avoid innuendos from younger men who feel threatened by her professional success. She said that when she has gone out at night with men her own age and has to turn in early to be fresh for work, they have commented , “Oh, Anna’s an adult, she has a real job.”

So as not to flaunt her own salary, Lori Weiss, a 29-year-old lawyer in Manhattan, has found herself clipping price tags off expensive clothes she buys on shopping binges, or hiding shopping bags in the closet just so men she was dating would not see them lying around and feel threatened by her spending power.

“A lot of guys don’t want to admit they have a problem with it,” she said, referring to income disparity. “They don’t want to be ‘that guy.’ But I think it’s ingrained.”

She said one boyfriend “wasn’t too comfortable with me paying for things” on dates, so to make him feel better, she would surrender to his wishes. The two would just “stay home and cook, or just get something cheap,” she said. “We’d skip a movie.”

Women said the income disparity becomes obvious in all facets of dating: where you live, what you like to do for fun and how you travel. It often comes down to minimizing who they are — successful, focused women — with their dates, who may be lagging a bit behind.

Although these women often say it is men who have issues around their higher salaries, sometimes it is the women themselves who are uncomfortable with the role reversal.

Hilary Rowland, 28, bought her first condominium when she was 18, using money she had earned from an online business started when she was 15. Last spring, Ms. Rowland, who lives in New York, started dating a 34-year-old musician.

“I usually always fly business or first,” she said in an e-mail message. “The one trip where he paid for the flight — we stayed at a friend’s place — he didn’t tell me the details, then flew us economy on a 6 a.m. flight with a two-hour stop-over, from Salt Lake City, to save money. I would have rather paid myself and flew business at a regular hour.”

“When we broke up,” she added, “he was upset that I gave my ‘ex’ more gifts than I gave him. Meanwhile, the only gift I’d gotten from him was a small notepad.”

Ms. Rowland, like some other women interviewed, said that she has come to the conclusion that it would be easier to date someone in the same economic bracket.

“I love traveling, going to the opera and good restaurants,” she said. “It doesn’t have to be Per Se, but good food is important in my life. It’s sometimes hard to maintain the lifestyle I’m used to when I’m in a relationship with a guy who makes less than me, since I don’t want to be paying for the guy I’m with all the time.”

The discomfort over who pays for what seems to be not really about money, plain and simple. Instead, it is suggestive of the complex psychology of what many of these women expect from their dates (for him to be a traditional breadwinner) and what they think they should expect (Oh, I just want him to be a nice guy).

On a first date at a lounge in Hell’s Kitchen, Thrupthi Reddy, 28, a brand strategist in Manhattan, watched her date down several cocktails to her one, then not even flinch when she handed the waitress her credit card. Initially miffed, she recognized her own contradictions.

“You wonder if you’re being a hypocrite,” she recalled, “because all date long I’m telling him how independent I was, and how annoying it was that men wouldn’t date strong independent women.” (The relationship ended after six months.)

Michael R. Cunningham, a psychologist who teaches in the communication department at the University of Louisville, conducted a survey of college women to see if, upon graduation, they would prefer to settle down with a high school teacher who has short workdays, summers off and spare energy to help raise children, or with a surgeon who earns eight times as much but works brutal hours. Three-quarters of the women said they would choose the teacher.

The point, Professor Cunningham said, was that young professionally oriented women have no problem dating down if the man is secure, motivated in his own field and emotionally supportive.

At least, that’s what their responses are in surveys. Talk about the subject with women a bit older — those who have been out of college long enough to be more hardened — and what you hear is ambivalence, if not downright hostility, about the income disparity.

Jade Wannell, 25, a producer at a Chicago ad agency who lives in a high-rise apartment building, started dating a 29-year-old administrator at a trucking company last year. “He was really sweet,” she said. But “he didn’t work many hours and ended up hanging out at home a lot. I was bored and didn’t feel challenged. He would finish work at 3 and want to go to the bar. The college way of life is still in them at that age. All they want to do is drink with the boys on Saturday. I was like ‘Let’s go to an art gallery’ and all he wanted to do was go to the bars.”

TO her, his lack of income masked a greater problem: a lack of drive.

“I have to say that I didn’t like his career, I didn’t think he had the goals of someone I would eventually like to be with or have respect for,” she said, adding, “It wasn’t the job, it was the passion.”

Unyi Agba, 27, an advertising executive with a small firm in Boston, almost always dates professional men, but when she goes out with someone earning less money, there is tension. “This is a topic that’s traveled in my own female circles a lot in the last year,” she said. Across a restaurant table with a man who earns less, “it’s never explicitly said, but there are nuances,” she said. “Things are said like, ‘Boy I’m going to be really broke after this dinner.’ ”

And her response?

“Silence.”

Okay, guys, what are YOUR thoughts on this thorny issue?

 

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Comments:

  1. 61
    Bman

    I would say that this wage gap and what job you do does play a huge factor. It has for me. I met a few women in vacation and when I talked to one she said she was a toxicologist. Instantly the first thing that came to mind was that she definately makes more money then me so I already knew it was a lost cause. And another time I had some women come talk to me and they are all saying yeah I’m this and that and at that time I was just working as a driver, once I said that they all went adios. Thanks feminism.

  2. 62
    Karl R

    Bman said: (#61)
    “this wage gap and what job you do does play a huge factor. It has for me.”
    “the first thing that came to mind was that she definately makes more money then me so I already knew it was a lost cause.”

    Based on my experiences, I would say your belief plays a larger role than the wage gap.

    I’ve been exchanging e-mails with a woman on Match.com (she contacted me initially). It’s blatantly obvious that she earns at least double what I do (she’s a physician). This weekend I asked her for her phone number and got it. I’m a lot more concerned about the age gap than the wage gap, since she’s 12 years older than me.

    On Saturday, I also asked for and received an e-mail address from a lady in my yoga class. She’s an associate attorney, so she also out earns me (maybe by 25% – 50%) despite being younger than me.

    You “knew” that you didn’t have a chance with the women who out-earned you … and it turned out that you were correct. I know that I have a fair chance with women who out-earn me … and I’m usually correct.

    The difference is confidence. Since you’re sure you don’t have a chance, you lose your confidence when there’s a wage gap. Since I’m sure that the wage gap won’t be a major issue, I retain my confidence.

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  5. 63
    Cecil Westervelt

    Of course it’s our bad as men. Or maybe the tension arises from these facts:
    We as men are expected to love women, and treat them as equals regardless of what they offer, how they look, their sexual prowess etc. As men our sole worth to a woman is based in what we earn. Women do not love men for who they are, just what they are willing to give.
     
    Women have no clue what equality means. If a woman earns the same as a man, and works harder for it, no one sees that as an accomplishment. She, despite her earnings is still living in the oppressive patriarchy, while the man is just enjoying the perks of working his ass off for no appreciation.
     
    Men are wrong by default and have been for a very long time. Our sexuality is demonized and disregarded by women. Our worth as parents in always marginalized, we are second class parents as fathers. We have no rights pertaining to our offspring.
     
    Men are seen as engines of sacrifice. Our needs do not matter, especially to women. I have never met a woman that would hesitate to cheat on, or leave her husband for a richer man, even if the man is of lower quality. Wait, if he’s richer he must be better in the eyes of women. Of course men aren’t ok with a woman who earns more. Why? We have a lifetime of experience teaching the true nature of woman.

  6. 64
    Cecil Westervelt

    STARR SAID “My view on this issue, a women can have higher income than a man, and if a man is threatened by this they should just be happy that his wife has a good paying job and is making a name for herself, if i was a man i wouldn’t be threatened by my wife making more money than i am. i would be happy that we juat had money.”
     
    If you were a man you wouldn’t think that. You would know that a woman just isn’t going to love  you for who you are. If you were a man you would have already learned this first hand. There isn’t a woman alive whos love for a man is independent of what he earns. The man is right, he didn’t stand a chance, and he wouldn’t have even if their pay had been just equal.

  7. 65
    Selena

    Re: #’s 64 & 65
    Cecil,

    If the two other threads that are being debated currently are any indication…this seems true for ALOT of women. Though fortunately not all of us.

    Those who feel this way claim it’s biological, do you agree?

  8. 66
    Karl R

    Cecil Westervelt said: (#65)
    “There isn’t a woman alive whos love for a man is independent of what he earns.”

    You’ve been able to verify that with every woman alive?

    Cecil Westervelt said: (#65)
    “The man is right, he didn’t stand a chance, and he wouldn’t have even if their pay had been just equal.”

    With the exception of online dating, I’ve never had an income disparity create an issue in dating. I can think of five relationships where the women earned more than I did. In one case, the girlfriend earned two or three times what I did. And since I eschew symbols of financial success, people tend to assume I earn less money than I actually do.

    My firsthand experience has shown that you can find women who just aren’t that concerned about their boyfriend’s / husband’s income. You can also find women for whom it’s a major issue. It just depends on what kind of people you hang around with.

  9. 67
    Selena

    @#67

    Or find online apparently.

  10. 68
    A-L

    RE: Cecil’s #64 & 65″
     
    “As men our sole worth to a woman is based in what we earn. Women do not love men for who they are, just what they are willing to give…I have never met a woman that would hesitate to cheat on, or leave her husband for a richer man, even if the man is of lower quality…There isn’t a woman alive whos love for a man is independent of what he earns.”
     
    Based on your letter, Cecil, I would suspect that there’s been some major trauma in your life in regards to a woman.  I’d guess that you were married and your wife left you for a richer man.  Regardless of what the trauma may have been (or if there was any trauma) your two posts reek of bitterness.  In addition to being untrue (as Karl mentioned, all women feel this way?) I’m sure this sentiment is coloring your dates.  Your bitter attitude would chase women away in droves, if they didn’t slug you first for the insulting rhetoric.  Get some counseling and work through your issues.

  11. 69
    Karl R

    Cecil Westervelt said: (#64)
    “I have never met a woman that would hesitate to cheat on, or leave her husband for a richer man,”

    Let’s assume (for a moment) that this insight into the “true nature” of women is correct.

    That means you can find some married guy who earns less than you, and effortlessly seduce his wife. Why don’t you try that ten times and report to us how things turn out?

    If you’re correct, you will never need to visit a dating site again. You should be able to have as many affairs as you want.

  12. 70
    Helen

    Karl R #70, your suggestion is hilarious. :D  What a great way to pop someone’s circular reasoning.

  13. 71
    Anita

    I am a doctor earning 6 – 8 times what my hubby earns at present and also very famous in my locality. I never considered this an issue before wedding because my husband is very highly qualified from Ivy League / international economic schools. Because of his education, I was not bothered about his income and I felt we should be compatible based on “traditional socio-economic criteria”. His take-home pay after loan repayment is a fraction of what I earn. Also, while I tend to network well and hence am well-recognized in my area, he is a loner in general. This does not bother me, but he feels terribly inferior about all this, and each and every casual remark or action of mine is interpreted as pride, arrogance etc, and day-to-day life is becoming hell due to sarcastic/ frustrating remarks. I do not know what to do. My husband does not have the ability to earn more at least in the near future ( due to past mistakes, bad credit history etc) but wants me to give up my name and fame, and earn less than him. While i somehow want the marriage to work, giving up my hard-earned reputation, and living a life far far below the present standard of living I am used to will really depress me.

  14. 72
    A-L

    RE: Anita‘s #72
     
    First of all, have the two of you tried counseling?  That would probably be the best thing to help deal with these issues.
     
    Is your husband’s income low, or is his disposable income low (i.e. after loan repayments, etc)?   How many more years of repayments does he have?  Also, did y’all ever discuss issues like relocation and/or children?  Have either of your positions changed?

  15. 73
    A-L

    Also, is there a reason why he has loans and you do not?  For instance, maybe your parents paid for your education while he was responsible for his own and needed to take out loans?
     
    P.S. Sorry for the double post, Evan.

  16. 74
    Anita

    Thanks AL, but my husband refuses to come for counseling. His loan is for about 20 years. His total income is 35 – 40% of mine, and disposable income about 10% of mine. He spent for his education, but the loans are higher due to other mistakes he made , like defaulting without giving an explanation etc  resulting in collection agency fee. I am scared to relocate if in case he deserts me after that, in which case I will have to start building a practice from scratch. Also. I am scared of his attitude that he is unable to accept my success.

  17. 75
    Mark

    It’s not that men are intimidated by women who earn more (although those men do exist). It is the fact that most women will not date/marry a man who earns less or has less of an education. On the other side of the coin; men are extremely willing to date/marry women who earn less and have less of an education.

    Women always claim that relationships are doomed to failure if they date someone who earns less and has less of an education. Men on the other hand are contradictions to that belief. Almost all of my male friends are dating or are married to a woman who earns less and has less of an education. I am willing to wager that everyone reading this knows more couples in which the man earns more and has an equal or advanced education in comparison with his wife.

    Marriage for women is all about status. Marrying-up is how they view this “sacred bond” *chuckles*. The comical irony is that while these women are marrying-up, their husbands are technically marrying-down in terms of income and education.

    In closing: could we please stop swallowing this tripe that men are not attempting to date women who earn more because they are intimidated? Men are extremely in touch with reality. They know exactly what would happen if they approached such a woman. They avoid you because they wish to salvage their pride and what is remaining of their self-esteem. They know how the dating game works and they understand that their income and education is the first prerequisite that most ladies have on their list before they will even consider talking to men.

  18. 76
    m

    @NML –
    And women who habitually go out with men who earn significantly earn less than them have to ask themselves why they continue to do it if they come up against the same problems?”
    Because we women are so frequently told to — nearly beaten about the head and shoulders almost with — “settle, settle, settle”.

    Imagine that.

  19. 77
    m

    @ Mark –
     
    Women always claim that relationships are doomed to failure if they date someone who earns less and has less of an education. Men on the other hand are contradictions to that belief. Almost all of my male friends are dating or are married to a woman who earns less and has less of an education. “



    Okay.  You just contradicted yourself here.

    1) It’s not that men are intimidated by women who earn more (although those men do exist).”
    2) In closing: could we please stop swallowing this tripe that men are not attempting to date women who earn more because they are intimidated? “
    Aaaand … you just did it again.  AMOF, you did it twice in the first statement alone.  o_0
    Let’s not even start with whether the point I think you’re trying to make is hopelessly convoluted, not to speak of the fact that it attempts to shift the focus from the point of the article — men’s attitudes — to some point you seem to be wanting to make about women’s attitudes, instead.  (See:  Goalposts, moving.)
    Let’s  start instead with … exactly what point are you trying to make?

  20. 78
    m

    @ Hadley –
     
    P.S. I don’t care what women say, I believe that they have a hard time (on some level) respecting men who make less than them. They may not want to believe this and they may tell themselves enough times that they sort of start to believe it, but they really don’t. And this fact translates to a greater likelihood of contributing to relationship failure.”

    You know what, Hadley?
    The minute you decide you believe what you decide to be true about what a woman believes instead of what she actually tells you and shows you about what she believes …
    well, you do the math.
    *sigh*

  21. 79
    m

    Anita’s situation is far, far more common than some people  seem to want to admit to here.
     
    (Maybe because it’s one of those situations that just don’t fall into the commonly accepted social narrative of what certain people would rather have be true …?)

  22. 80
    m

    Holy hell, Mattie.
     
    I’m terribly sorry for the misfortunes that have befallen you, and I hope you get everything you want.

  23. 81
    Liz

    I won’t date blue-collar men and the income disparity has nothing to do with it.
    I can’t stand the anti-intellectual attitude, the racism, the sexism, the homophobia, and the tendency to vote Republican (Hey, you wanna be an idiot and vote against your own interests? be my guest! that these men tend to bring to the table.
    And plenty of them are jealous, too, calling middle-class women names like “rich b*tch.” Tell me, ladies, would YOU pleasure a man who thought of you as nothing more than a “b*tch?”

  24. 82
    SS

    Mark @76
    Um, I don’t quite get the point of men saying that they don’t care if a woman makes less or has less education than they do.
     
    Isn’t that kind of how it’s always been through history? That’s nothing groundbreaking or new… women looked for protectors and providers and men looked for beauty, fertility, and indicators that one would be a good wife or mother. Men NEVER (until recently) considered a woman’s income, educational level or earning power in the wife equation (because women didn’t usually work)… and even today, isn’t everyone always telling women that they don’t care all that much about her education and career?
     
    So all you’re doing is simply reiterating what’s been true for most of recorded history. Women are wired to “marry up,” while men don’t typically consider a woman’s financial status when he marries. You don’t get a cookie for saying you don’t care how much a woman makes when you date her… you’re just falling in line with the historical script!

  25. 83
    SS

    As for the article… I have mixed feelings. I hate when a woman goes out on a date with a man and goes on and on about how independent she is. Well, you’re an adult. You should be. And regardless of how independent you are, if you want to be in a healthy relationship, everything won’t always be about you. It will be about we, and us. So stop trying to show how much you don’t need someone when you want to actually be with someone!
     
    I can’t relate to the women here who only fly first class and can’t rough it in coach or who go to fancy restaurants all the time and buy multiple $15 cocktails. Maybe this is another one of these East Coast/West Coast/large city things that just don’t apply to me.
     
    But that being said, it was very difficult trying to date in my 20s because of this phenomenon. I wasn’t making great money, but I was starting my career and made an entry-level salary that was comfortable for where I lived. The men in my age range (up to five years), however, seemed to be perfectly content living a life of odd jobs/no jobs/rooming with four other dudes in a house or apartment and spending any extra cash on beer and pizza. And these were college graduates! But they all were deciding to just take a few years off from life before going on to either professional/graduate studies or finding a career track that was more permanent.
     
    I didn’t have a problem with them making less money than me, but the reasons why they made less money bothered me… because they were admittedly being slackers. And even the ones who weren’t slackers felt that they didn’t want to get serious with me because I seemed “settled” and they said they felt they had “nothing to offer me.”
     
    So, like a lot of the ladies here, I just stopped trying. I looked for someone who was a bit older, done with school and firmly on their intended career path. Annual salary was not necessarily a big deal — I come from a family of teachers (dad included) so I had no problem dating a man who was a teacher. I just didn’t meet them.
     
    I think a lot of women and men might seem to be open minded about this topic, but our “traditional values” start kicking in perhaps more than we think and resentment starts to abound… I just stopped fighting it and had better luck that way.
     
    I’m not remotely married to a wealthy man and we live in a small house in a mid-sized city. But I like his work ethic, he likes mine and we’re not terribly far apart in income level (he makes more, but not by a whole lot, and if the roles were reversed it would be okay… we’re in similar fields.)

  26. 84
    Nicole

    @Marc 76…trust me, not that I want to support anyone, but I wish that I got as much credit for having a great job and education.  A man with my stats could probably get a lot of action and get away with being a real playboy.  It would definitely be a much needed boost if anyone cared. 

    Actually though, while men may not marry women for their education and income, people do tend to marry from within their socioeconomic class. 

    So a lot of i-banker, doctors, lawyer, and people who graduate from elite schools do in fact marry their colleagues and classmates, but once kids come, the women quit. I definitely have a lot of classmates who fit this description.  Even though the men didn’t care long term if the women continued earning, they still choose people from their circles, as opposed to say, a hairdresser or a waitress at Hooters.  And I personally think that within these sets, there is a lot of cache to being able to stay at home with an “ivy-coated” grad degree hanging on your wall. 

    So it also should be said that while men don’t marry women for their income potential, they do usually marry their EDUCATIONAL and ACADEMIC equivalents.  I don’t know of any of my college classmates who are married to women who aren’t college grads, and in many cases, they have grad degrees, although a fair number of them no longer work and will never work again barring divorce or death of the husband. 

    I think that a lot of rich men who marry women from nowhere aren’t the most educated guys…so they might have made a ton of money, but women who dont’ have formal educations still fit with them better.  And seeing a rich, but uneducated guy with an educated professional woman has always shocked me too.

    I’m surprised by Anita’s situation b/c like her, I’d have assumed that having equivalent education would trump income disparities, b/c if your wife winds up being a partner in a law firm or a surgeon, she could outearn you if you work in nonprofits or are a college professor. 

  27. 85
    Lollysan

    I am currently dating a 29yr old guy, father of three, earns 50% my salary! He is nice, but I am scared! He is talking marriage!

  28. 86
    Joe

    I think that women want to ‘have their cake and eat it too’! I have dated many women whom all made more than I do, before I got married. There was always a problem-not mine……(I never brought it up), but the woman’s. I hate being ‘pre-judged’ and all, not just a few, of the women that I dated just automatically assumed that I had a problem. I wasn’t ‘pissed off’ at the earnings-I was ‘pissed off’ at the fact that these women were so smug in their beliefs.
    I always started dated women by going ‘dutch’ until I felt that I had more feelings for them. Invariably, I would be ‘gifted’ many things which I never asked for, could not afford, and the women were always offended that I preferred to purchase for myself, whatever I wanted…..I didn’t want anyone to buy me something I really wanted….in my opinion, it sort of ‘cheapens’ the thing you want. So, I always preferred that women would not ‘gift’ me anything, except, perhaps, on my birthday or Christmas. I ALWAYS made it clear that whomever the woman was, was not to spend more on me than I spent on her.
    I married a woman who was upwardly mobile. I earned many times more than she did, but as time went on, and as I helped her establish herself in a similar business that I am in, the earnings changed. However, it changed at a point that we had a child, so we (or so I thought ‘we’ did), made a decision that I would be a ‘stay at home dad’. This turned out to be the worst mistake of my life.
    Every time we had an argument, it always went back to ‘you’re just jealous because you don’t make as much as I do’. I had to constantly remind my wife that, although I earned 6 figures in a part-time job, that I was the one feeding, cooking, cleaning, taking my child to child care or preschool, doctor appointments, picking up my kid every day to and from school, and even making all the vet appointments for all the animals my wife insisted on having.
    The fact is, and I’ve never seen it different (well, maybe once……an older couple where the wife was a ‘headhunter’ and the husband was a retired software developer who had invested in a bed and breakfast, which they ran together), that women have an ego, possibly even bigger, than a man’s! Sorry. It’s true. Remember the old addage ‘hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’, well…….I believe that every career woman that I’ve met acts as if they are already ‘scorned’……by virtue of the fact that they always assume that ‘some man is lurking, waiting to take me out’. That’s paranoid! But most women belive it.
    Ok, so I can hear women out there saying ‘yes, but it’s true….men have alwyas…….(fill in the blank)’. But how do women expect to have any sort of relationship with men if A) They don’t understand men, and B) They EXPECT the man to always take advantage? That isn’t love…….that isn’t security…..that is no way to begin a relationship.
    I am currently in the throes of a separation. Did I cheat? No. Did my wife? Yes, in a very tangled ‘emothional’ relationship which she still denies. Why did she feel the need to cheat? Because, as she ‘ascended’ in her career in the corporate world, I became ‘uninteresting’.
    It’s sad that the very person, whose career I have literally poured millions of dollars into, made connections for and supported all these years, used my credit and borrowed money from to start her own business (a debt I carried for her) has decided that I am just a ‘disposable appendage’ and all because of the very career that I helped her to achieve. AND THAT IS WHY MEN DON’T WANT TO COMPETE AGAINST THEM! It isn’t safe. 
    The next time you want to accuse a man of being ‘jealous’ of a woman who makes more than he does, try to understand why. Simple feminism, as a patent answer, just doesn’t cut it, in my book.

  29. 87
    DMC

    Truth be told, I have never had this problem, as I was successful at a young age.  That said, as much as I think it could be ego for guys, I think there is something to be said about fuel to the materialistic fire that engulfs the large majority of women.  This was exemplified in the article by the girl who wanted to fly first class.  Basically women expect a certain lifestyle from men – if they can’t provide it or impede it, it’s held against them.  Not really much room to compromise.  Basic snobbishness, like the last two women in the article.  Also, I think the term “dating down” shows subtle bias. It’s basically assuming the man is less worthy b/c he makes less. 

    One final point a poster made – it’s sad men can celebrate there more successful partners success.  This is probably difficult when they are being looked down on.

  30. 88
    Jeff

    This article proves that women only want equality when it benefits them and never when it doesn’t. I don’t think most men have a problem with a woman making more money than them (I certainly don’t) but I do believe most women have a problem with a man that makes less than them.

    Feminists need to remember that for every positive thing they “think” they are accomplishing for women there is also a negative thing for women as well. The reason for this is because there is only two genders on this planet and neither one can survive without the other. If women want to be the breadwinners then they are going to have to get used to lots of social changes that to most people will just seem really awkward.

    For instance, males will begin to expect females to ask them out instead. The reason for this is because males are not going to want to appear greedy by asking a wealthy girl to take him out on a date. He will expect her to take him out if she likes him. 

    Males will expect females to pay for all the dates and propose marriage with an expensive engagement ring as a sign of their financial competence of being a suitor for him and their future children together that he will be raising while she’s off working. It’s going to turn into a choice for him to work or stay at home as most women will be expected to be the main breadwinner.  

    Females will also have to accept that males will be granted custody of their children more often in order to raise them while the female is expected to go off to work and provide financial support to her ex-husband and her children that she won’t get to see as often as she’d like.

    Women’s liberty?! More like women’s enslavement! Welcome to hell ladies, hope you enjoy your stay. I doubt men will be foolish enough to ever give you the opportunity to go back to the way things were once they see how much better it is by having women slaving away for them in the labor force. Yep, feminism is driving women straight towards a world of social slavery, and as a man – I’m not complaining at all. LOL!  

    1. 88.1
      missy

      Jeff, so all women have to do is just get a GED, go and work for Wal-Mart and and let the man continue to out earn her, and then she will have more paid dates and vacations, and the prospect of marriage and children see there will be no complaining about her earning more, because she working minimum wage, so theirs no emasculation there.. as they say” Happy Wife, Happy life!! LOL!!
       

  31. 89
    Bob

    Women outnumber men in college, so how will women marry their academic equivalent? I think I have the answer: Women will stop looking for their academic equivalent, and they will focus solely on finding a man with a larger income. So the female high school teacher earning 40k will shack-up with the high school educated contractor who earns 75k. Either way, women will still cling to their biological programming. No amount of feminism will change that. Sadly, low income men will not fare well in the future. High income women will also have issues. But their issues will pale in comparison to the issues that low income men will face.

    Looks like feminists were wrong, and gender roles were not socially constructed after all. Enjoy the ride, suckers!

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