Comments on: Do Dating Sites Encourage Gender Stereotypes?

By: Joe

Joe — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 15:21:22 +0000

To paraphrase you Evan:
“The author WEBSITE seems to be hypersensitive to anything that sets off her radar and will sort of retrofit her columns to match up to the perceived slight.”
If you’ve ever been to Jezebel this is abundantly clear from the get-go. It’s a website predicated on the concept that “well-behaved women rarely make history”, and since their expectation is that all women should make history, all women are compelled to rail against “teh patriarchy” (misspelling intentional) by condemning all men as complicit and benefiting from the “obvious” oppression of American women today.
It’s rather ironic that Jezebel’s by-line is “Home of Shiny Happy Ladies” considering how vitriolic, hypocritical and disingenuous the writing and commentary are. Methinks they misunderstand the definition of “lady” (and by extension, “gentleman”).
It’s certainly not an informative site.

By: Goomena.com

Goomena.com — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 11:55:58 +0000

I can’t help but agree that there are stereotypes posed by dating sites, but it’s mostly about marketing to both genders. Take it from a marketer’s point of view; a sales pitch. Women in their majority want to be “pampered” and men want to find “hot young girls”. If you ask me (and I’m actually marketing my own dating site!) the kind of people that do not fall into this stereotype, will probably be the same people that look to other methods of meeting people, either online or IRL, which include dating sites that differ.

By: Steve

Steve — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 20:00:51 +0000

Evan;
You don’t have anything to worry about. Anyone woman who swallows the opinions in that article either majored in WMST or minored in it while taking something else. The ones who majored in WMST will never be able to afford your services. The ones who studied something else who believe that advice will have their opinion changed by life experience and will be writing you a check for your services.

By: Steve

Steve — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 17:20:27 +0000

Every once in a blue moon Jezebel will have a good article. The rest of the time it is feminist idealouge catty coffe clatch.

These ( the idealouges ) are the people who will tell you the world is Y when they see it is X, who act to their own benefit accordingly by seeing it is X, but who will scold YOU for saying it is X.

“Who are you gonna believe? Me or your own eyes?” – Groucho Marx.

Been there, done that bullshit, wasted my time by hearing those people out in college. Nice thing about adult life is that I rarely ever have to put up with such people for more time than it takes to politely excuse myself to move across the room or click on another link.

By: Selena

Selena — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 23:16:18 +0000

Thank you Rachael.

By: Rachael

Rachael — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 16:43:23 +0000

@selena27

I love what you wrote!

That is all

By: Monty

Monty — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 16:29:58 +0000

Henriette, I have long since deleted my dating profile so I don’t have it verbatim, but it went something like this:

I love being a woman because femininity allows me to be soft and strong at the same time and opens me up to the possiblity of being yours in a relationship where
1) you will know you are respected, encouraged and supported
2) a home cooked meal will never be a rarity, though I appreciate a man who knows his way around a grill
3) your presence will bring a smile that reaches all the way to my eyes so you know it’s real
4) you are welcomed home at the end of a hard day with opened arms and heart 5) you are not want for affection as physical touch is my love language, too
6) Football filled Sundays will be no problem at all - especially if my team wins!
7) You have the freedom to explore you hobbies and spend guy-time with your friends…I have interests of my own as well…then we can come together at the end of the day and share our mutual adventures!

etc…etc….I think I listed about 12 things.

Keep in mind, these are things that I offer…what you want and are able to offer in a relationship could be very different. I think that by setting up your profile in this way, a man will understand the benefits of being in relationship with you. It’s so much more interesting than saying, “I am fun, kind and sweet and love my life, but would like to have a man around to make it that much better.” Or whatever.

Good luck to you!

By: Selena

Selena — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 13:30:09 +0000

I was thinking along the same lines as Henriette #27

“It behooves us to learn the “traditional” dating rules so we can take calculated risks if/when we decide to play by our own rules.”

I think there is sometimes confusion in dating because people don’t want to follow “traditional” rules, prefering to make up their own as they go along. Works fine when you find someone willing to play by your own rules, disappointing when you find they won’t.

By: PGL

PGL — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 03:43:01 +0000

I have to disagree with Evan and say that I think HOW Evan gives his advice is different from the original eHarmony article. The points may be the same, but I personally found the eHarmony quotes to be patronizing. I like Evan’s advice because he is straight forward and tells it like it is without making you feel like a young, socially inept girl with no opinions.

I thought the Jezebel article was humorous when I read it a couple of weeks ago. (And for those who mentioned it, Lindy has a boyfriend.)

I also had a horrible time with eHarmony when I tried it out several years ago. I would get maybe two or three matches a week and some were from out of state (I live in Los Angeles!) Taking “dating personality” tests have revealed that I am compatible with only 10% of men. I’m hoping to beat the odds by avoiding the “we will match you” sites.

By: Mia

Mia — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 01:09:38 +0000

I find this all kind of funny, because men and women who are successful with the opposite sex follow BOTH sets of advice. Here’s what I mean: men who get their pick of women listen, are sensitive, and ask the girl lots of questions on dates – they bring the focus on her. And women who are successful in securing ltrs with men show their personality on dates – after all, if one pretty girl is just like another, then you stand out when you have a sense of humor and interesting personality.

Also, Andrew, perhaps it can be pulled off, but listing 18 ways you’d make a great gf has the potential to sound desperate and look like you need to prove yourself wayyy too much. Even listing one way sounds a bit much in a profile – I keep relationship, girlfriend, and boyfriend out of it and just say I’m interested in meeting people I’d otherwise never meet in a city I recently moved to.