Personal anecdote time – when I was 20 – and still pretty inexperienced with sex – I had a girlfriend for five months. I probably only went down on her once or twice. Why? Well, as you pointed out, I wasn’t very good at it, it wasn’t exactly pleasing to my senses, and I still had a really good sex life. Meaning: she didn’t seem to mind that I didn’t do it, I didn’t like doing it, and our relationship didn’t suffer, so it was a pattern that reinforced itself.
I think that absence makes the heart grow fonder – and, if not fonder, then certainly lustier.
If there’s any pattern between your men, I think it has more to do with the vacation time than it has to do with infidelity. I think that absence makes the heart grow fonder – and, if not fonder, then certainly lustier. I know I’m more excited to ravish my wife after she’s been away for two weeks than I am on the random Wednesday evening after watching Castle on ABC.
So there are a number of more logical explanations for your phenomena than having two consecutive devoted boyfriends going to Europe, discovering the joys of pleasuring women in an illicit foreign affair, and then returning home as if nothing was wrong. If there’s any disparity between how “good” they were before and after their trips, I would sooner guess that a man’s familiarity with your body goes up over two years…It should be no surprise if it translates into better oral sex the second time around.
Of course, I’m only theorizing. But as a dating coach, I’m always looking for the most logical explanation, as opposed to the Conspiracy Theory version of things.
My suggestion would be to actually start communicating with your boyfriend. Because if you have one clear blind spot, that’s it. You’ve gone years and years without oral sex, but mostly because you never brought it up. That puts the responsibility squarely on you, not on them. Let’s hope this European breakthrough is a sign of things to come (no pun intended), and not another rare appearance from The Cunnilingus Comet.
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