Comments on: Do Men Like Bitches Or Nice Girls?

By: Omiz

Omiz — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 19:31:23 +0000

LIFE IS MUCH SIMPLER THAN THIS LADIES!!! JUST LIKE THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A “NICE GUY” AND A “GOOD GUY”, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN “NICE GIRL” AND “GOOD GIRL”. YES, GUYS LOVE STRONG GIRLS..BUT BITCHES? NO. JUST LIKE A GIRL WHO WANTS A STRONG, KIND, LOVING, CARING AND ASSERTIVE MAN (GOOD GUY)AND NOT SOME ASS HOLE WHO IS STRONG AND ASSERTIVE BUT IS A JERK, GUY WANT A KIND, LOVING AND CARING STRONG WOMAN. ITS AS EASY AS THAT. NO BITCHES ..NO ASS HOLES..NO DOORMATS..SIMPLY YOU. BE YOURSELF. HAVE VALUES. SET BOUNDARIES. LIVE LIFE AND BE VIBRANT. A GOOD MAN WILL FIND YOU.

By: Mickey

Mickey — Tue, 30 Oct 2012 07:26:28 +0000

” good men respond well to such “training”

Training? What is he…a seal???

By: mindlessthinker

mindlessthinker — Tue, 30 Oct 2012 06:19:31 +0000

Ok. I am career-minded, have my own goals, am very assertive, have very strict boundaries, and guys still don’t go for me.

The more I read stuff about “should I be a bitch?” and “being a bitch means having boundaries” (other articles) and “men love assertiveness” the less I believe it based on my own experience. According to the people who write these articles, my personality is either completely right, or completely wrong, but there is still the fact that being myself never works.

People tend to complain that I’m very cold and that I never open up to anyone about anything (which I have never seen as a problem) and then when I do, things turn out shitty. Furthermore, being quiet gets me losers and being outgoing gets me abusive assholes. As far as I’m concerned, this whole “dating game” is bullshit and we should all just live life alone. People who are loose can have unplanned children with their one-night stands and that way there will be no worries about the human race continuing.

By: sammi

sammi — Thu, 16 Aug 2012 14:09:40 +0000

Thanks Evan, you give a balanced view and find your articles honest and refreshing.

By: Jackie

Jackie — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 19:16:42 +0000

Might be the best blog yet! I periodically ask myself this question! It really is all about the right balance. In this sense, men and women aren’t that different, and they want to the same thing.

Thanks for posting Evan!

By: Rochelle

Rochelle — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 22:54:02 +0000

I’ve been the “too nice” woman and been the “too bitchy”..I have a naturally calm sweet demeanor most of the time, and still sometimes catch myself being the former, but sometimes depending on what the guy did, I will give him a mulligan. When I was one extreme or the other, friends would tell me how I was wrong for behaving that way. (Friends can give really confusing advice sometimes and I don’t really go to them for it anymore lol) It was so frustrating but now I get it. It really is a matter of showing that you value yourself but also making a man feel good. Once I understood why being too nice was sending the message “I’m a doormat who will tolerate anything” it became easier to change that. I feel like men do test our boundaries and a lot of the time they aren’t even doing it deliberately, but ones who do it all the time and on purpose aren’t acceptable.

By: Julia

Julia — Tue, 31 Jul 2012 00:50:40 +0000

I live in Philly, its very hard to date here.

By: Heather

Heather — Mon, 30 Jul 2012 13:44:35 +0000

@ Mia,

That very well could be; when I lived in Philly, I was married so had no idea what the dating pool was truly like. I met a number of very nice men in my travels though, and I did date one that I’d been friends with for awhile, after I got divorced. He was a very good guy, unfortunately there were just too many obstacles for us to work out, and it broke my heart that we could not work it out. I guess because I’d had better experiences with men in Philly, made me think that it would be easier to date there. Plus the absence of true alpha males I think made me feel more comfortable up there.

I got a chuckle out of your comment about dating in DC being your worst nightmare, and honey, you are speaking truth! Heck, even guys tell me it sucks to date here. My guy has told me some pretty crazy stories about women he met here. He’s actually from the Midwest and very gentlemanly, and never pressures me for anything. Midwestern men are much more polite about what they want, it seems.

By: Paula

Paula — Mon, 30 Jul 2012 03:55:07 +0000

I’ve read the Why Men love Bitches and actually think her second book Why Men Marry Bitches was better. The first seemed to be too much game playing and the other was more authentic.
As EMK mentions, being a bitch according to this book is to have boundaries. Also, in the beginning, we are to be wooed so we shouldn’t be doing all these nice things for the man. He is the suitor and should do the majority of the work in the beginning.
In the beginning, I think doing something nice to the ratio of 3:1 is best. If the man does something nice for me and takes me out for dinner or dates 3 times then maybe the next date would be me doing something nice but nothing too big.
One reader here said she thought that book was teaching her to be a doormat I think misunderstood the concept. It’s about acting like a lady. If a man does something disrespectful, you do not be passive or act cool or act like some emotional loonie. You state your boundaries and how you expected to be treated in a calm manner. She emphasizes being calm and rational but one can still set boundaries. It seems like men will tune us out if we are being overly emotional and freaking out. But then, don’t women want to deal with people who are emotionally mature and not some man who is wailing and pouting to get his way?
Argov only used that Bitch title as a marketing gimmick and if you read the contents, it’s obviously not about being a bitch but being empowered and having standards for yourself

By: Mia

Mia — Sat, 28 Jul 2012 02:15:13 +0000

Heather, I just moved out of Philly – and while dating somewhere like dc is my worst nightmare (grew up there, but left after hs), it’s not like Philly was a great situation either. While I was bombarded with responses on match there, nothing came of it, and in general I find the people in my new Midwestern city to be better quality, even if I hardly get any responses onlinewith the same photos. I think it’s a racial thing, since I continue to meet many men in real life who are at least physically attracted to me. Then again, men may be similar anywhere – when I was talking to a Midwestern guy about how they all seem so much more gentlemanly, he smiled and said, Men are the same, it’s just that out here we’re more polite about it.