Do The Ugly Face Unfair Discrimination?

I read this blog about a recent movement to stop “discrimination against the ugly” and found it fascinating.

It makes a reasonable point. There are protections for discrimination against gays, blacks, and women, so why should we still be allowed to exercise bias against the unfortunately asymmetrical people out there?

Your gut may say that women are judged unfairly for their looks, but that wouldn’t be the entire story. Says a related New York Post article: “Men, in fact, suffer the greater repulsiveness penalty in general: Unattractive women earn 3 percent less than average-looking women, while unattractive men’s take-home is reduced a whopping 22 percent.”

The question I have for you is whether you feel that you’re judgmental of others based on looks, age, height, weight, education, or income… and, just as importantly…have you been judged negatively for one of those other characteristics?

Your comments, as always, are appreciated.

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54 Responses to “Do The Ugly Face Unfair Discrimination?”

Margo 1

I don’t discriminate against unattractive people, and there are others like me, but sure they face discrimination.
Julie 2

When it comes to dating I know I am and need to change!!
AQ 3

It is usually more like sloppy ridiculous careless. Exercise, grooming and neat classic clothes can overcome 90%
Detha 4

I am guilty of not wanting to date and don’t date people I consider to be less attractive than myself.

I consider myself to be preety average looking but not a day goes by that men don’t stop and stare (I mean stare in a good way). Sometimes they approach me to and ask me out.
Gem 5

I am judgmental of others based on cleanliness. I date average looking men. I date men who stand to loose 20-30 lbs. I date men with average incomes. When I find someone I click with, I’m pretty open.

BUT, there is no excuse, imo, for poor hygene. You don’t need a fancy education or high income to pick up a bar of soap. I don’t want to hang out with, or date people who are in need of a shower, teeth cleaning or nail scrub.
helene 6

To me, its about whether the man is sexually attractive, not whether he’s “handsome” per se. Some ugly men are very attractive (to me, at least!) – an example would be the actor James Woods. Not, in my opinion, handsome in the classic sense of the word, but so charismaticand sexy I’d definately date him! I did try dating a quite ugly man a few years ago because I liked him a lot in other ways, but unfortunately his charisma was not suffucient to overcome his bad looks. I remember sitting in a bar with him, looking around and thinking “EVERYONE in this bas is better looking than you….” Not a good sign. I did persevere, because he was an interesting guy, very keen on me, etc..etc… and tried having sex with him – but after a couple of times I woke up beside him and thought OMG I just cannot sleep with you ever again… and then I ran away from his house! So you can’t say i didn’t try, but if someone is just too ugly for you, what you gonna do??!
SJZ 7

This falls under the category of “well duh!” What is seen as beauty is very specific to a culture. Unfortunately the European-American standard of beauty is starting to envelope the world. What I think needs addressing is the discrimination against fat people. I watched Big Sexy on TLC and was appalled at the way these women were treated. What kills me is people get away with this kind of discrimination. I wish the Victorian standards of beauty would come back. Fat can feel pretty beautiful when trying to stay thin and starving because of it.
Gem 8

I don’t know…Kim Kardashian, J-Lo, Scarlett Johansen….these are not thin women, and society loves their fuller figured beauty. The fashion industry still seems to want skinny-minis but men seem to like women fit and healthy but not necessarily bone thin. Women seem to put more pressure on themselves to be thin than men do.
sharon 9

@SJZ

Because corsets and tight waisting were a better idea?

People have always been crazy about the perception of beauty. Chinese Foot Binding, Maori tattoos, Skull binding in Nigeria and North America, and neck lengthening in Burma. Universally a great deal of expense, time and suffering goes into ones appearance. The fact the modern societies have more free time and money and technology available to come up with new weird standard of beauty but underlying impulse is just part of being human.
SJZ 10

Gem

You prove my point by saying that Kim Kardashian, J-Lo and Scarlett Johansen are not considered thin women. They are still thinner than most of the women in America today. We should hold these stars up as people accepting fat women as beautiful?

Sharon
By Victorian times I did not mean corsets should come back. I meant that the standard of beauty then was the more voluptuous woman. Being bigger meant you were well fed which meant you probably had money and could afford to eat. Half of the models I see walking down the runway remind me of what the concentration camp survivors looked like. How much thinner can women get before they disappear completely?
Robin 11

Well,its difficult to discuss how big an issue of discrimination against “ugly” people is, because everyone’s idea of beauty is different. I think some people may just lack self esteem, and think that people are discriminating against them unfairly, when perhaps, its their own lack of confidence thats keeping them from going after a bigger paycheck or promotion. How many times have you seen attractive people (especially women) walking around bemoaning their unattractiveness, when there’s really nothing wrong with them that a little more self confidence wouldn’t cure.

As far as I am concerned, presentation is often more important than bone structure or weight or height. You may have the most attractive person in the world, but if he/she looks sloppy and unkempt, they’ll have a hard time finding a date. Take for example, Bradley Cooper before and after his transformation in the film Limitless. For me, cleanliness, being well groomed, and nicely dressed trumps model good looks every time.
Conversely, I often see stars on various magazines’ hottest whatever countdown whom I don’t consider particularly attractive. For me, Megan Fox and George Clooney…ehh…not that hot.

For me good looks does not necessarily translate to sexual attraction…I have a number of good looking male friends that I have never looked at as potential mates. We are all more than just the sum of our physical features, so charisma, or intelligence, or a great sense of humor, or some other undefinable characteristic can transform someone from ok to wow in my eyes.

Laughing at Helene’s example in 6..but I concur. Some men who are not considered at all handsome in the conventional sense can be incredibly attractive or sexy to me. Seal..for example…so hot.
Gem 12

SJZ, I personally don’t think society should hold up “fat” people as beautiful.

Although “fat” is subjective when it comes to attractiveness to someone, “fat” isn’t so subjective to doctors who say being overweight is unhealthy.

My point about the actresses I listed is that they are not runway anorexic. They are average to a little beefy actually, in a good way, and considered sex symbols. Just because they are still thinner than the average american woman doesn’t negate my point.

I think it’s the fashion industry and much of Hollywood that is consumed by being as thin as possible, not the average American. The average American is bombarded with messages of exercise and health consciousness, yes, and considering many, many Americans are overweight, they should heed those messages. Pushing for “fat” to be in vogue and the new beautiful seems to disregard health.

But back the point of ugliness….I can’t even remember the last time I saw a truly “ugly” person….Plain? Yeah. Strange Looking? Yeah. Homely. Sure, but down right ugly? Not really. Again, it’s just one of those subjective things I don’t get hung up on.
MAXINE 13

‘BEAUTY IS IN THE EYES OF THE BEHOLDER”
SJZ 14

Gem

I am not pushing for fat to be in vogue or for it to be the new beautiful. I just think that people disrespecting fat people and getting away with it is wrong. It is a prejudice just like any other and should be treated as such.
Jadafisk 15

I don’t think I discriminate against the unattractive in any other respect besides dating, where it’s understandable to have strong physical biases. I actually discriminate against attractive men in some social aspects – they make me self-conscious and nervous due to the prospect of what could be, so I don’t form platonic friendships with them.
my honest answer 16

Ugly people probably are discriminated against. Life’s a bitch, you know?
But I totally agree with some of the other posters that so much be overcome with grooming. You’d have to be really ugly for it to merit notice if you were clean, tidy, and sharply dressed. Standing tall makes a hell of a difference too.
I stress the importance of how you project yourself over how you actually look. Like so many dating problems, it’s more a confidence thing than anything else.
Annie 17

I’m with you Gem. I don’t really see many truly “ugly” people.
Jadafisk 18

16. I dunno… bad teeth that aren’t due to oral neglect (congenitally missing, extremely crooked and/or with large uneven gaps) have negative cultural connotations that can definitely have an impact on how people perceive you and your earning potential.
JM 19

What is ugly? I’d like to see examples of ugly people that are discriminated against. Does ugly in this context mean not beautiful?

Fat is much easier to define.  Though some people are more extreme, there is a more obvious line between fat and not fat.

I agree with the others . . . There is much that can be done if you are less than attractive or overweight. Hygeine, clothing, standing straight, a good haircut, lessons in applying make-up, etc.
Erinlee 20

I think the media will always lean in the direction of thin more than lean toward overweight. Thin sells, they stick with what works. I don’t look to the media for what I think is ideal for me though. I think people pay way too much attention to the rich and famous anyway. Kim Kardashian? Beautiful! Do I care what they say in the tabloids about her though? Absolutely not, I couldn’t care less what her or any other ‘starlet’ are doing with their time. That stuff has no real impact on me or how I value myself or other people. It’s just not real to me and I don’t understand how people can put so much stock into famous people. Really? Really, why care so much? After all, they are just PEOPLE. Wouldn’t we all be better off just concerning ourselves with how healthy and happy we are as a person, and the people around us that we care about? Let’s be the one’s that young people in our community look up to. Why must they develop their concepts of what is beautiful or healthy by watching TV? I am a caring and excepting person and would like to think that I have never discriminated against anyone due to their size or looks, but I suppose at sometime in my life I have. Ultimately, this girl here is just striving for tolerance of all types of people.
Goldie 21

Where I work (IT), I see more of the opposite trend – attractive people being discriminated against, at least during the first few months on the job. Both in my current and previous jobs, during the first six months at a new place (in 2006 and 2000), I had to jump through hoops to prove that I wasn’t a dumb blonde. I don’t sweat it… life isn’t fair, people objectify each other and judge each other based on preconceived notions, and this definitely isn’t the worst problem to have.

Though, I agree, good point about missing or extremely crooked teeth… these do create a certain connotation that isn’t compatible with an image of a professional. Sad but true. That’s the reason why we parents put giant dents in our bank accounts to get our children braces.

As far as dating, looks, at least in the conventional sense, are pretty low on my list. Or at least, that’s what I like to think And, again, agree with the previous commenters that truly “ugly” people are pretty rare.
sofka 22

Ok, I have about ten posts worth to say on this topic, but here is my first, based on what others have written; It is truly heartbreaking and soul destroying to hear people immediately start talking about hygiene issues. As if ugly people are just naturally more smelly than good looking people. IF this was a post about “do black people face discrimination?” and people immediately started talking about personal hygene issues; people just launched into talk about washing as if being black was closely related to being smelly, this would just be unequivocably racist. I think some of the posts here are all you need as proof that ugly people face discrimination of the most cruel and ignorant kind.
Francesca 23

I have found for some less attractive individuals, personality and behaviour makes up for a lot of it.

I have recently met one of my Mum’s friends, he is obese, and hairy. My first look I thought “a fat hippy”. Then he opened his mouth and he was the nicest funniest guy I had met in ages. He was so generous and lovely that my opinion was instantly change into a great admiration for him. This has happened a few times, particularly the overweight.

So often you’ll see comedians who are short, ugly, have funny faces. Their looks have turned them into better people, they are attractive in other ways.

Its not full proof though. This woman who I used to work with was obese and she was a cow personality wise. She enjoyed blaming others for her own disorganisation.

Also those really gorgeous individuals, so many of them are absolute jerks. Or up themselves, or into putting other people down. Or into just not liking people just because.
Saint stephen 24

I am a good looking guy and Have dated both attractive and ugly women.
Ugly men are more discriminated than ugly Women because Women are more Choosy and overly selective than Men.
I think this is why a lot of ugly guys (some i know) work very hard to become wealthy and successful so at least the ladies could love them for that.
And on the flip side some ladies don’t mind been the spender in a relationship just so they could be with a good looking partner.
the ratio of good and average looking females are greater than that of men, so there is always a scramble for the good looking guys, some for the average Joe and almost nothing for the ugly guys.
hunter 25

” Some gems come in plain wrappers” yet, at the same time, it has been my experience that if my date is attractive, I, get attention from other women. Sounds illogical to me, but, who all said, relationships are about logic?…….
Gem 26

Sofka, #22,

I’m one who wrote that I discriminate against those with bad hygene. But it’s apples and oranges. I don’t equate ugly people as having bad hygene. Poor hygene comes with the pretty people too. I’m a hairstylist and I’ve seen some physically attrative people who were down-right scummy and gross. I don’t get it, I just don’t think there is any excuse for it.

I actually don’t think I actually seen very many physically “ugly” people in my life. I’m usually attracted to people who are more unusual looking because they are interesting to me.

To me, ugliness comes from the heart.
BC 27

I very much agree with everything Robin 11 said. I mean, everyone’s perception of attractive/unattractive is different. Of course there seem to be the supermodel types of looks that very few would consider unattractive, but after that, it really is subjective I think. What I do find, just talking for myself here, is that the getting older and *losing* our once effortless good looks is the far scarier scenario. I have always had the ability to attract plenty of men, and that knowledge that you are considered hot, pretty, whatever you want to call it, is a powerful thing for your esteem…goes without saying. And a high self esteem goes hand in hand with confidence, which is always attractive. Aging is the big issue to me. Luckily, if I age anything like my mother or grandmother, I will be in good shape for years to come.

I feel for people who are considered *unattractive/ugly*. But, even the most fetching among us can tomorrow suffer a disfiguring accident or illness, so the shallowness of judging someone solely based on their looks is senseless. Real, striking beauty is fleeting for even the most stunning people. I personally have never felt romantic attraction to slick, overstyled pretty boys. I appreciate a good looking guy, but I like a man to be a man, and I darn sure like to be prettier than my man! He has to be sexy though…another issue entirely.
Trenia 28

It’s been said already, but level of attractiveness is so incredibly subjective. Not only that, most of what we believe to be beautiful, a European standard of beauty, has been forced down our throats for a couple hundred years. And other kinds of beauty have been conflated with negative traits and stereotypes, that we are told is an objective point of view when its not.
jack 29

helene-

You should get a medal for at least giving that guy a fair try.
Far too many people will not even entertain the thought of looking beyond immediate “chemistry” (by which most people mean tangible physical arousal).
You tried; and for that you deserve plenty of good karma.
Robin 30

Sofka (# 22), I think that the message most persons were trying to get across is that “ugly” is a very subjective term. A few posters stated that while people tended to be more or less attractive (based on our own likes/dislikes), they were unlikely to categorize anyone as “ugly” based on appearance, although they would use the term to describe someone’s actions or behavior. From there, a few people specified some of the traits (outside of looks/facial features) that would make someone more, or less attractive to them, such as good hygiene, and gave personal anecdotes… I’m not sure I understand what was written that was so offensive to you.
nikefreeshoes 31

I’m one who wrote that I discriminate against those with bad hygene. But it’s apples and oranges. I don’t equate ugly people as having bad hygene. Poor hygene comes with the pretty people too. I’m a hairstylist and I’ve seen some physically attrative people who were down-right scummy and gross. I don’t get it, I just don’t think there is any excuse for it.
nikefreeshoes 32

I actually don’t think I actually seen very many physically “ugly” people in my life. I’m usually attracted to people who are more unusual looking because they are interesting to me.
Gem 33

Evan, nikefreeshoes hijacked my words (from #26), in both #31 and #32!
Panda 34

I freely admit I am in a shallow phase and going off of looks first in dating profiles. Now, granted I have my particular tastes, so what I might find appealing, perhaps other women don’t. I think I’m savvy enough to avoid the “gorgeous” model looking men since tons of women would be competeing for their affection and I’d probably end up constantly worried about him trading up for something better. I guess I’m attracted to someone in the similiar scale as me I’d say? So if I consider myself a seven..I try to go around the 6,7,8 in attractiveness? I feel that most of the time I am contacted by men that even their profile pic doesn’t give me any spark. So I guess I do what Evan says you shouldn’t – I don’t ”give a guy a chance” because I dont sense chemistry based on physical attraction to him. My problem is though that I was married to, and dated after my divorce, MANY men who are not classically attractive. I dated them because of their intelligence, and kindness or because I found their careers interesting. But I guess I’ve found that you cannot force yourself to keep interest in someone if that one missing piece – the physical attraction factor – is missing.
Soul Sister 35

IMO, while someone may not be able to control such factors as facial features or bone structure, people do have significant control over how their bodies look. I was “hot” when I was in my 20′s, although that hotness did not appeal to everyone as I was very flat chested as well (yes, flat chested women are also discriminated against, trust me!). After 20 years of marriage and 3 kids, I was a good 45 lbs overweight. After my divorce, when I realized what kind of men appealed to me (younger, decent builds) I knew I had to get into their range to be considered. You can whine about this or you can do something about it. As I was on match and my body type went from a few lbs over, to average, to slender, to fit and tone, my dating pool opened way up. I lost all 45 lbs through dieting and exercise. So yes, I am superficial enough to say if I am out there running 4 miles every other day in 110 degrees (AZ!) I want to be with men who care about their bodies to still have muscles!! Oh, and I am 50 yrs old and look better than I did in my 30s and 40s. So I do filter by slender and athletic and toned on match. Now, that said, I am dating a man who actually has a pretty big gut, and I don’t know what happened, but on our 3rd. date I was struck by lightening (lust, ha ha!) and I thought he was amazingly sexy gut and all. So while we can be picky and filter as much as we want, once that chemistry gets turned on, sometimes all of our “rules” fly out the window.

Would I love it if he got rid of that gut? Of course. Do I care if he doesn’t? NO!

So take care of what you can, look your absolute best, and go out there with your head high…you will be doing more than lots of people who sit in front of their tv drinking beer and eating chips whining about being discrimanated against because they are too fat. Fat is a choice (unless you have a medical condition) and you get what you put out in this life.
saint stephen 36

@Soul sister i completely agree with your last paragraph.

i don’t know why some folks like to equate fat with ugliness and been short, traits that are certainly irreparable. if you were born ugly there is nothing that can be done about it ( except you’d undergo plastic surgery which is very extreme to me). but if you are fat, then is way easier to loose weight- some exercise or slimming pills will do the tricks. but they would rather prefer waste the same effort sniveling about it.
Ms Maz 37

My boyfriend is shorter, pleasantly plump, very fuzzy, and smells like Nag Champa. But I love him to death and could never ask for a greater partner. I’ve never really been too picky about who I date in terms of looks…or much else, really. I just want to be treated respectfully — and laughing a lot helps, too! I can pretty much work around anything else. Is that bad?
UglyGayGuy 38

Definitely. When I show my photos on internet dating sites literally noone is interested. When I go shopping I am openly mocked on the street. So I feel like a cross between the invisible man and the Elephantman. I feel stigmatised for being something I have no control over. It’s worse for a gay man because unlike straight men, gay men are expected to be beautiful. Like women, we are being judged by fickle men who are hardwired to go for beauty.
hunter 39

Hi soul sister, men know that it takes 3 dates to get a woman to warm up to us…
hunter 40

….that is why most men don’t lose the gut/weight…..
saint stephen 41

@Ms Maz #37
You sound like the type of woman i’ll love to date, too bad your boyfriend beat me to it.
I’m good looking and do always get compliments from ladies, but what i hate is ladies who like or love me because of my looks, because they are superficial and would bail, should anything happen to impair my looks, (like accident).

I’m also not interested in good looks when dating, i just want a lady that is hard working, smart, intelligent and witty…. i have a great sense of humor and i like laughing a lot…. but i still have a problem finding a lady that is hilarious as i am….. ladies just always want a funny guy that could make them laugh but they don’t like reciprocating…. i guess they always want to be the one entertained.
saint stephen 42

@UglyGayGuy
#38

Why don’t you turn bisexual? that could increase your dating pool….. just a suggestion.
Ned Boerm 43

“The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed.” ~ ” Jiddu Krishnamurti
Heather 44

I like how some people throw in, oh yeah exercise. Some people who are heavy battle mental issues, and when someone who they find attractive cuts them down and humiliates them in public it can be devastating. Food to a fat person is alcohol to an alcoholic, and yet they’re not discriminated against nearly as much as a fat person.

I try not to discriminate, and yet I do. It’s not against ugly as far as the physical appearance, but their inner attitude a person has. I don’t want to associate with people who put themselves on a higher pedestal.

I, by the way do not want sympathy because I suffer from depression and battle my weight daily. I’m just pointing out one contributing factor.

In the end all I can say is each and every one of us is different and what may be ugly to one may be beautiful to another. We have plenty of enemies in the world, best we pamper ourselves and love ourselves fully.
Melvin 45

Match com discriminated me because they said they do not want deaf and hard of hearing. They said, deaf and hard of hearing are not welcome. What are the rules and the statutes and constitution of this country, United States. Have the gay dating sites the right to discriminate me because I am deaf and hard of hearing? Is it right or lawful to do this? What are my rights as a hard of hearing that I have faced discrimination from Match.com?
Melvin 46

I am concerned that if sites does not want me because I am hard of hearing. Let me know. Next time, I will not join anymore. I know the kind of this country that is United States. Thank you.
NeverHadAGirlfriend 47

I’m ugly AND wear hearing aids, which is a double whammy. Women say they can look past that, but their actions speak louder than words. I’ve never known what it’s like to hold a woman’s hand. I’ve never known what it’s like to hear the works “I love you” by anyone other than a family member. I’ve never known what it’s like to have someone I am attracted to, also attracted to me. I never had my first kiss….and I’m in my mid f*cking 30s!!!!!!!! Those who have a reasonable expectation of finding love and affection in their lives simply lack the perspective and life experience to even BEGIN to comprehend just how hurtful that is! My self esteem has been shot to pieces.
I was always able to make and keep female friends very easily, so I know for certain my personality is not the reason. Attraction is, at its core, physical, and if that piece is missing, the best you will ever be is a friend. After 30 years of searching for an answer to why I experience such extreme difficulty in finding a partner, I have realized and accepted the reality that my looks are the primary problem. That is a very hard thing to accept, but the evidence was all around me.
As such, I’ve worked 7 days a week for the past 3 years, allotting only $225 a week to live on and saving the rest for extensive plastic surgery. steroids and speech therapy. If this does not improve my dating life after a few more years, I am going to end it all because I absolutely, adamantly refuse to live like this any longer. A life without any hope of finding love is a life not worth living and people with a “normal’ physical appearance simply cannot understand that.
Sandra 48

NeverHadAGirlfriend,
I truly sympathize with your plight, and hopefully the speech therapy and surgery will help your situation. But I want to submit to you that maybe you are shooting too high in the types of girls you are approaching. I’ve seen this a lot in guys that complain that women don’t give them a chance… they simply go for girls that are totally out of their league!. So in a way, they are victims of their own attitudes. There simply HAS to be a girl that will be attracted to you. Take an honest look at yourself and how would a woman on your same league look like, and then approach her. Don’t go for girls that can date guys that are ORDERS of MAGNiTUDE more handsome than you. Also, no one mentions this, but hygene is often an overlooked problem. Check that your breath is fresh at all times, no body odors, clean hair and clothes, etc.
Lucy 49

I remind myself of the tough circumstances others have to deal with that I haven’t. That always brings a sense of perspective. How you look at other people begins with how you look at yourself. I do not go the other way and see people who are often discriminated against as inherently virtuous.

I do believe that mental health stigma to be a real issue, and there really isn’t a great deal of understanding about it. I have GAD and as such I’m quite reluctant to be forthcoming with my experiences because it has caused people to react in ways I am not comfortable with. The discrimination people with mental health issues, or people with mental disabilities face can be pretty bad.

Other than that, the worst I’ve had is dealing with people judging me based on my social background. So I may not be rich but I am kind and polite. Still, it was hard for me not to be upset when it seemed like my wealthy ex-boyfriend’s friends were sizing me up and not seeing me as an attractive prospect for him. It was also assumed that me being less well off made me into gold-digger. That could not have been further from the truth.

Age is a big one too. In a team-building exercise at work we had to figure out who to save first after an avalanche. The stock answers came about how younger people are more worth saving because “they have their whole life ahead of them”. Well I don’t think a person’s life decreases in value as they age.
NeverHadAGirlfriend 50

Hi Sandra,
I know better than to go for the model types, and frankly, what I find attractive generally doesn’t fit that image in the first place. I prefer someone more “normal” and within 5 years of my own age. As far as hygiene goes, I make considerable effort to be presentable. I would be very embarrassed to have any bad odors, dirty hair or stained/ill-fitting clothes. I see my face in the mirror every day and know full well everything else has to be on point to help compensate for that.
The advice to settle, while perhaps well meaning, is actually terrible advice which can cause more problems than it attempts to solve. Also, I do not think people truly realize just how offensive the advice to settle truly is. Here’s why: Imagine if the only guys who were interested in you were at least 20 years older than yourself, balding, unkempt, poorly dressed and had questionable social skills. Now imagine getting intimate with such a guy. It’s a revolting thought, isn’t it? By asking me to settle for what I can get, that is essentially what I am being asked to do. I am just as turned off by that man’s female counterpart as you would likely be by him. Ugly people are not a different species. We are human beings, just like our genetic superiors, and we don’t magically find each other attractive simply by having the same unfortunate circumstances. We have just as much right not to be in a situation where we feel sexually violated as anyone else. I don’t want to prostitute myself out to someone I am not attracted to in exchange for companionship and affection.
Rather than settle for what you can get, it’s better to just raise your league. I’ve done everything I can possibly do in regard to hygiene, including hiring an image consultant to help pick clothes, shoes and a hairstyle that fits me the best. My skin is also clear and well taken care of. However, because I have a large nose, very low cheekbones, receded lower jaw, strange lips, ears that stick out, misshapen eyes and slight “deaf speech,” good hygiene can only help compensate for so much. I’m not aiming for model types. I just want to experience love and affection with someone I am attracted to and if $55,000 in cosmetic surgery will allow me to have a relationship with an average, normal woman, that is perfectly fine with me.
Sandra 51

NeverHadAGirlfriend,
Good for you that you hired a stylist- as long as you are not pretending for others to be more noble than you are yourself, then more power to you. This reminds me of a story about a date I was with and my date asked me to bring a friend to introduce her to his friend. Well, his friend was significantly overweight and my friend did not like him. We were sitting at a bar and someone pointed to the girl to his left. He was like “Nah, she’s TOO BIG for me”. We were like “are you F-ing KIDDING ME??” this girl was like a size 8 or 10 tops. He should have been FLATTERED that she even looked at him. Same issue with my sister. She is 5’0 and like 190 pounds but would rather DIE than date an overweight guy, LOL. And on and on it goes…
As obviously I have never met you (so take this with a grain of salt), as a woman I can tell you that of all the issues you mention, I would focus on the speech/voice issues and getting your chin improved. I’ve seen dramatic improvements in the looks of men with just making the chin stronger. And the voice/speech is also critical. Maybe the ears too if its an extreme problem. I would start with that type of changes first (most impactful) because extensive PS can end up leaving you with complications and that may be all you need. Too much PS and then you could start looking artificial/weird. High cheekbones in men can look feminine, same for lid surgery. If you can work out and get a nice body that helps A LOT too. Believe me, no one looks at the face if there is a hot body (but not a steroid filled body that makes you look like a gorilla, but one like the P90X guy. Yum).
meee45 52

Nobody has the right to discriminate natural traits because it not his/her choice but as for being not clean ,gay etc..that is supposed to change somehow
bobby griffin 53

i dont think that anyone is ugly or unatrractive ina ny way shape or form and to think that they are is the worst thing that any huan being ca do. no one has the right to judge on ooks or to make decesions on looks it is very spiteful and inhumane.
exige 54

well im an ugly guy could even be a minus on the scale.I was lucky to have found love at sixteen with a female who people would say was out of my league and had the best fifteen years of my life with her before it came sadly to an end. .Truth is people always asked her what the hell she was doing with me because of the way i looked,this would affect me in even going out for a meal at expensive restraunts as people thought she was only with me for money and truth was we had built up a buisness together. . . .Been on my own for 10yrs now am i judged ,discriminated because of my looks sadly yes.Been told by a female, guys who look like me shouldnt own a car like that when i was at garage putting fuel in lol.Another time i was told by an female estate agent how could i have the money to buy this house when i look that bad,this is not a joke. …what i think i am saying is people do judge on looks if your truly ugly,but i think there are plenty of people who when they get to know you regret there first horrible thoughts if you have a great personality.i am lucky that i have lots of female friends who are at different ends of the look league table and although they dont want to sleep with me still invite me out with them .i guess im lucky just to have friends who do not judge on looks only.