Comments on: Do The Ugly Face Unfair Discrimination?

By: exige

exige — Fri, 03 May 2013 19:05:11 +0000

well im an ugly guy could even be a minus on the scale.I was lucky to have found love at sixteen with a female who people would say was out of my league and had the best fifteen years of my life with her before it came sadly to an end. .Truth is people always asked her what the hell she was doing with me because of the way i looked,this would affect me in even going out for a meal at expensive restraunts as people thought she was only with me for money and truth was we had built up a buisness together. . . .Been on my own for 10yrs now am i judged ,discriminated because of my looks sadly yes.Been told by a female, guys who look like me shouldnt own a car like that when i was at garage putting fuel in lol.Another time i was told by an female estate agent how could i have the money to buy this house when i look that bad,this is not a joke. …what i think i am saying is people do judge on looks if your truly ugly,but i think there are plenty of people who when they get to know you regret there first horrible thoughts if you have a great personality.i am lucky that i have lots of female friends who are at different ends of the look league table and although they dont want to sleep with me still invite me out with them .i guess im lucky just to have friends who do not judge on looks only.

By: bobby griffin

bobby griffin — Sat, 20 Apr 2013 06:41:43 +0000

i dont think that anyone is ugly or unatrractive ina ny way shape or form and to think that they are is the worst thing that any huan being ca do. no one has the right to judge on ooks or to make decesions on looks it is very spiteful and inhumane.

By: meee45

meee45 — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 22:46:12 +0000

Nobody has the right to discriminate natural traits because it not his/her choice but as for being not clean ,gay etc..that is supposed to change somehow

By: Sandra

Sandra — Mon, 10 Sep 2012 23:42:17 +0000

NeverHadAGirlfriend,
Good for you that you hired a stylist- as long as you are not pretending for others to be more noble than you are yourself, then more power to you. This reminds me of a story about a date I was with and my date asked me to bring a friend to introduce her to his friend. Well, his friend was significantly overweight and my friend did not like him. We were sitting at a bar and someone pointed to the girl to his left. He was like “Nah, she’s TOO BIG for me”. We were like “are you F-ing KIDDING ME??” this girl was like a size 8 or 10 tops. He should have been FLATTERED that she even looked at him. Same issue with my sister. She is 5’0 and like 190 pounds but would rather DIE than date an overweight guy, LOL. And on and on it goes…
As obviously I have never met you (so take this with a grain of salt), as a woman I can tell you that of all the issues you mention, I would focus on the speech/voice issues and getting your chin improved. I’ve seen dramatic improvements in the looks of men with just making the chin stronger. And the voice/speech is also critical. Maybe the ears too if its an extreme problem. I would start with that type of changes first (most impactful) because extensive PS can end up leaving you with complications and that may be all you need. Too much PS and then you could start looking artificial/weird. High cheekbones in men can look feminine, same for lid surgery. If you can work out and get a nice body that helps A LOT too. Believe me, no one looks at the face if there is a hot body (but not a steroid filled body that makes you look like a gorilla, but one like the P90X guy. Yum).

By: NeverHadAGirlfriend

NeverHadAGirlfriend — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 10:27:15 +0000

Hi Sandra,
I know better than to go for the model types, and frankly, what I find attractive generally doesn’t fit that image in the first place. I prefer someone more “normal” and within 5 years of my own age. As far as hygiene goes, I make considerable effort to be presentable. I would be very embarrassed to have any bad odors, dirty hair or stained/ill-fitting clothes. I see my face in the mirror every day and know full well everything else has to be on point to help compensate for that.
The advice to settle, while perhaps well meaning, is actually terrible advice which can cause more problems than it attempts to solve. Also, I do not think people truly realize just how offensive the advice to settle truly is. Here’s why: Imagine if the only guys who were interested in you were at least 20 years older than yourself, balding, unkempt, poorly dressed and had questionable social skills. Now imagine getting intimate with such a guy. It’s a revolting thought, isn’t it? By asking me to settle for what I can get, that is essentially what I am being asked to do. I am just as turned off by that man’s female counterpart as you would likely be by him. Ugly people are not a different species. We are human beings, just like our genetic superiors, and we don’t magically find each other attractive simply by having the same unfortunate circumstances. We have just as much right not to be in a situation where we feel sexually violated as anyone else. I don’t want to prostitute myself out to someone I am not attracted to in exchange for companionship and affection.
Rather than settle for what you can get, it’s better to just raise your league. I’ve done everything I can possibly do in regard to hygiene, including hiring an image consultant to help pick clothes, shoes and a hairstyle that fits me the best. My skin is also clear and well taken care of. However, because I have a large nose, very low cheekbones, receded lower jaw, strange lips, ears that stick out, misshapen eyes and slight “deaf speech,” good hygiene can only help compensate for so much. I’m not aiming for model types. I just want to experience love and affection with someone I am attracted to and if $55,000 in cosmetic surgery will allow me to have a relationship with an average, normal woman, that is perfectly fine with me.

By: Lucy

Lucy — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 08:00:07 +0000

I remind myself of the tough circumstances others have to deal with that I haven’t. That always brings a sense of perspective. How you look at other people begins with how you look at yourself. I do not go the other way and see people who are often discriminated against as inherently virtuous.

I do believe that mental health stigma to be a real issue, and there really isn’t a great deal of understanding about it. I have GAD and as such I’m quite reluctant to be forthcoming with my experiences because it has caused people to react in ways I am not comfortable with. The discrimination people with mental health issues, or people with mental disabilities face can be pretty bad.

Other than that, the worst I’ve had is dealing with people judging me based on my social background. So I may not be rich but I am kind and polite. Still, it was hard for me not to be upset when it seemed like my wealthy ex-boyfriend’s friends were sizing me up and not seeing me as an attractive prospect for him. It was also assumed that me being less well off made me into gold-digger. That could not have been further from the truth.

Age is a big one too. In a team-building exercise at work we had to figure out who to save first after an avalanche. The stock answers came about how younger people are more worth saving because “they have their whole life ahead of them”. Well I don’t think a person’s life decreases in value as they age.

By: Sandra

Sandra — Mon, 03 Sep 2012 21:03:32 +0000

NeverHadAGirlfriend,
I truly sympathize with your plight, and hopefully the speech therapy and surgery will help your situation. But I want to submit to you that maybe you are shooting too high in the types of girls you are approaching. I’ve seen this a lot in guys that complain that women don’t give them a chance… they simply go for girls that are totally out of their league!. So in a way, they are victims of their own attitudes. There simply HAS to be a girl that will be attracted to you. Take an honest look at yourself and how would a woman on your same league look like, and then approach her. Don’t go for girls that can date guys that are ORDERS of MAGNiTUDE more handsome than you. Also, no one mentions this, but hygene is often an overlooked problem. Check that your breath is fresh at all times, no body odors, clean hair and clothes, etc.

By: NeverHadAGirlfriend

NeverHadAGirlfriend — Mon, 03 Sep 2012 12:14:35 +0000

I’m ugly AND wear hearing aids, which is a double whammy. Women say they can look past that, but their actions speak louder than words. I’ve never known what it’s like to hold a woman’s hand. I’ve never known what it’s like to hear the works “I love you” by anyone other than a family member. I’ve never known what it’s like to have someone I am attracted to, also attracted to me. I never had my first kiss….and I’m in my mid f*cking 30s!!!!!!!! Those who have a reasonable expectation of finding love and affection in their lives simply lack the perspective and life experience to even BEGIN to comprehend just how hurtful that is! My self esteem has been shot to pieces.
I was always able to make and keep female friends very easily, so I know for certain my personality is not the reason. Attraction is, at its core, physical, and if that piece is missing, the best you will ever be is a friend. After 30 years of searching for an answer to why I experience such extreme difficulty in finding a partner, I have realized and accepted the reality that my looks are the primary problem. That is a very hard thing to accept, but the evidence was all around me.
As such, I’ve worked 7 days a week for the past 3 years, allotting only $225 a week to live on and saving the rest for extensive plastic surgery. steroids and speech therapy. If this does not improve my dating life after a few more years, I am going to end it all because I absolutely, adamantly refuse to live like this any longer. A life without any hope of finding love is a life not worth living and people with a “normal’ physical appearance simply cannot understand that.

By: Melvin

Melvin — Sat, 05 May 2012 02:20:03 +0000

I am concerned that if sites does not want me because I am hard of hearing. Let me know. Next time, I will not join anymore. I know the kind of this country that is United States. Thank you.

By: Melvin

Melvin — Sat, 05 May 2012 02:19:20 +0000

Match com discriminated me because they said they do not want deaf and hard of hearing. They said, deaf and hard of hearing are not welcome. What are the rules and the statutes and constitution of this country, United States. Have the gay dating sites the right to discriminate me because I am deaf and hard of hearing? Is it right or lawful to do this? What are my rights as a hard of hearing that I have faced discrimination from Match.com?