Comments on: Do You Offer Your Phone Number in the First Email?

By: Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 17:31:37 +0000

I’ve been asked for and shared my cellphone number within a few emails. Unfortunately, this had led to more texts than phone calls. Now, I’m a huge “text” person…but I prefer an actual call from a guy, especially if he’s setting up a date. Texts just seem lazy.

By: Goldie

Goldie — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 17:07:47 +0000

Not in my first one, because at that point it’s unclear whether we’ll want to talk again; but, if and when I’ll be dating online again, I’ll probably do it pretty soon. I do not have a landline and, from what I see, a cell number is pretty safe to give out – it gives you zero information on me if you google it, and, should things get really bad, my provider allows me to block a phone number. Plus, from my brief online-dating experience, the alternative is chatting/IMing. Who’s got time for that?

First few weeks after I started dating online, I spent hours tethered to my computer because everyone wanted to chat; then I learned to separate the wheat from the chaff, give my phone number/email fairly early on to the first category, and quickly lose the second. Made things a little easier.

By: 72purple

72purple — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 15:50:15 +0000

Sometimes men want to talk via Instant messenger instead of back and forth e-mails. I don’t use any messenger service and I am too busy to keep e-mailing back and forth. So, I offer my phone # stating they are welcome to call me instead. I never hear from them. I have to e-mail them a week later to remind them I am still interested in getting to know them. Then they say, sorry for being busy or they text me stating they will call. Do they have horrible memories or are they just uncomfortable calling a woman who has given out her # when they never asked for it yet?

By: pauline

pauline — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:31:05 +0000

If someone gives me their phone number instead of asking for mine I never call them. Instead I wait for a guy to make the effort to ask me out and to meet somewhere convenient to me before I give my number to make the arrangements. Too many guys give out their number and want women chasing them or call you to chit chat about nothing without an intention to meet or go out. It screens the decent guys from the idiots.

By: Kissyface

Kissyface — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 20:46:43 +0000

@Selena #13

Reread my first sentence. Safety first, always. )

I think the guy’s point was that stalkers & creeps probably would not pay for a dating service when there are plenty of free ones out there. His comment didn’t change how I conduct myself.

By: Selena

Selena — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 12:22:16 +0000

Kissyface #9

Whatever would make you think creeps & stalkers wouldn’t use a paid dating service? Don’t you read the news? Or don’t you think they’d be willing to spend the money? Think again.

A dating site provides a whole catalogue of single women for creeps & stalkers to choose from – what a dream!

Not to scare you, just to be realistic. Continue being cautious.

By: JB

JB — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 14:52:54 +0000

C’mon Evan you know NO ONE offers their phone number in a first email …lol This is a trick question, right ? Even the hottest recon profiles I’ve put up (both men & women) I can honestly say with maybe the exception of 1 or 2 idiots who were probably clueless as to how internet dating “works” it’s just not done. I will say that I’ve found that some women will “offer” their number very quick within (2 or 3 emails) if the guy is a “ten”. They must think just because he’s “hot” he’s not a psycho stalker axe murderer rapist ….lol Why would he have to be he’s “soooo cute” …..he he he !!! Puuhhhleeezzz ladies !!
Be careful out there guys there’s a lot of crazy desperate women …………….if you’re a “10″

By: Elle

Elle — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 23:51:03 +0000

Having had a couple of BAD experiences on first dates, I never give out my phone number, my full name, my place of employment or my address until I’ve met the person face-to-face to see if he’s legit & trustworthy. Be careful out there, ladies!

By: satexasgirl

satexasgirl — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 22:48:45 +0000

Absolutely not & I will not reply to a man who emails me with his phone number. It bothers me.

By: KissyFace

KissyFace — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 22:28:00 +0000

I never give my number out first. If we find a mutual interest thru email, I ask for the guy’s number and tell him I don’t give mine out first for safety reasons. No one’s ever had a problem with that and most of them agree a woman needs to be careful.

One guy told me that there is probably no safety issue with giving out my number, as the creeps and stalkers are probably not using a paid dating service. It made sense to me…a little. I don’t know if Match has free service for a month-at-a-time or whatever. If it’s only a paid service, then maybe this guy has a point. I’d be interested to know what you think about that, Evan (either thru your blog or in Tuesday’s call). Thanks.