In short, she’s using you. Not because she’s an evil person. Not because she doesn’t care about you or wish you the best. Nope. She’s using you because she CAN. She’s using you because you LET her. She’s using you because she’d rather have you in her life on HER terms and hope that you’ll put up with it. She’s using you because people are inherently selfish and will invariably do what’s best for THEM.
So your ex gets to keep her best friend, confidante, and church buddy; she gets to mess around with other guys on the side; she gets to keep your undying love and devotion – and she doesn’t have to give ANYTHING up. What’s her incentive to stop talking with you every day? That’s right! There IS none.
That’s why expecting her to give up the benefits of her relationships with both you and Ben is foolish. As long as you are cool with being used, you get the relationship you deserve. A relationship with a woman who has so little respect for you that she’ll see her ex-boyfriend publicly, and still hint to you that you two may be married one day.
She’s using you because you LET her.
You claim to be confused, LJ, but really, that’s a smokescreen. You need to recognize that a woman who loves you doesn’t date another guy, a woman who cares about you doesn’t keep you on the hook after you break up, a woman who wants you physically doesn’t keep things platonic.
And yet you ignore all this evidence and claim to be confused about your relationship.
I hope, after reading this, that you’re no longer confused.
I hope, after reading this, you’re angry.
I hope, after reading this, you move on.
Why He Disappeared is the smart, strong, successful woman's guide to understanding men. If you want to learn how men think, and rediscover how to have meaningful relationships - all from a man's point of view - click here to learn Why He Disappeared.
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