Comments on: Does My Ex-Girlfriend Still Want Me Back or Is She Just Using Me?

By: Gina

Gina — Wed, 16 Jan 2013 17:46:11 +0000

Interesting to read all the male opinions! You are so right on about “you can get sex anywhere!” When I date, I now try to get to know the person first. Just enjoying the little perks and having some kind of a courtship is really FUN. You should try it and avoid STDs from the bed-hoppers. Seems a lot nicer when you’re hooking up with someone who wants to BE THERE WITH YOU and not thinking about someone else in the meantime or who is the next lucky guy. Big difference.
I think that woman gave the guy a big favor. She was specific about not rejecting him, just wanting the “I want to be free” time. So, guy, it’s about TIMING, not you. Don’t take it personally. She’s not ready for a full time BF. If you are, move fwd and find someone who IS ready. Girls are complaining all the time about not finding men for boyfriends!

By: Charlie Bones

Charlie Bones — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 00:44:52 +0000

Inbetweener #33 wrote:
“Pay no attention to the ignorant fools that think these things. Some of my “SUPER-EXTRA” ignorant friends think with their penis. They actually get upset when I turn down sex from an ex or just mutual female friends. (especially when it comes easy to me) It’s not that I don’t think they are attractive, I just don’t want to have sex with someone that has no problem “JUST” having sex for the sake of having it. Thing that they don’t realize is, just about anyone can get sex ANYWHERE. In my opinion, the desperate ones take what they can get. I prefer to pick and choose. Just goes to show the mentality of some humans.”
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So true, especially when you’re the one who got dumped and the other person is calling on you for the sex, but doesn’t want to have the relationship part of it. You’re on call when they feel like it, but when you want it, they’ll be busy. That’s what’s called ‘using’. The user doesn’t see it that way because they’re the one in control. If both parties are using each other, then yes, it’s not such a big deal. But if one side is hoping for reconciliation and is giving sex while still in the ‘friend zone’, then forget it. You’ll never get past being their part time lover.

By: Charlie Bones

Charlie Bones — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 00:39:36 +0000

When someone you’re dating is talking about having children and getting married, then they’re either sincere, or they’re playing with your mind. It sounds like the latter is happening in this case, since she’s clearly not committed to this one guy. Sounds like she doesn’t know what she wants, and it’s better to cut off contact, then torture yourself wondering if she’ll ever come around to her senses.
Trust me, these women grow into their 40s and still behave the same way.

By: Tony 65

Tony 65 — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 12:43:40 +0000

She is using you because you are letting her, thats it , she has no feelings for you whatsoever, not even as a friend.
You are her plaything, cut ties altogether with her , tell her you think she.s casual and leave it at at that.

By: Karl R

Karl R — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 19:01:47 +0000

Passing By said: (#57) "I dont get people sometimes, or at least your kind, you are exactly like the ex girlfirnd in this blog story, only looking out for you and your needs….screams Selfishness," It sounds to me like you expect the people around you to look out for your needs. That screams irresponsibility. Be an adult. Your date is not supposed to act as your mommy or daddy, making certain that you don't make decisions that are bad for you. If your partner isn't meeting your needs, you need to communicate that to your partner. If that doesn't resolve the issue, you need to leave. Passing By said: (#57) "you tell me what part of that you dont understand?" I don't understand why one person gets to abdicate responsibility for making their own decisions. LJ (original post) and Jay74 (#55) are adults. They do what they want to do. Why is it the ex's responsibility to make a clean break when LJ and Jay74 don't want that? Furthermore, if you're dealing with someone who doesn't know and/or doesn't care that the situation is painful to you, why on earth would you put them in charge of making the decisions?

By: Passing By

Passing By — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 13:22:50 +0000

@Karl: I dont get people sometimes, or at least your kind, you are exactly like the ex girlfirnd in this blog story, only looking out for you and your needs….screams Selfishness, sounds like your trying to justify your actions as being ok She new her ex was madly in love with her, she broke it off with him, she started seeing someone else and playing him all while they where ment to be broken, you tell me what part of that you dont understand?
she knows he loves her, yet instead of creating bounderies with in the fship she behaves as if there still in a relationship whilst she has someone else, let him loose, dont keep him around to feed your ego and to keep him around as an option, this is what Kay means about protecting the other person, she crossed the line!

By: Karl R

Karl R — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 20:36:37 +0000

Jay74 said: (#55) "Fact of the matter is that people don’t like to talk about their feelings that much, but deep down both parties know where you stand. And so, if you know a dude has feelings for you than it means he is clouded in his Judgment and you have to protect the other sometimes." Not only do I disagree, but you contradict yourself. If one person doesn't talk about their feelings, then the other person has no idea how they feel. Do you expect the person to read minds and somehow magically "know" that the other person has feelings for them? If you have feelings for someone and to the extent that it's clouding your judgment, do you tell them that's what is occurring? If not, how would that person know? If I'm dealing with an adult, what makes it my right and responsibility to decide that their judgment is clouded (when I have little to no evidence to make that determination) and choose that I need to protect that person from getting hurt, when that person does not want me to make that decision for them? Jay74 said: (#55) "some women (and men) go: 'ell, he’s an adult so it’s his choice' but that’s BS, you don’t have a choice in the matter sometimes when you’re in love." You do have a choice, whether you decide to exercise it or not. If you have strong feelings for someone who isn't reciprocating, you may not be able to change the way you feel, but you can change the way you act. You can cut yourself loose and give yourself enough space to get over the other person. You're an adult. It's time to man up and take responsibility for your own decisions. If you're not ready for that, live with your parents.

By: Jay74

Jay74 — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 18:54:07 +0000

@ Jennifer.
The call for anger comes for the fact that some women (and men) knowingly use the other person as the back-up guy.
I’ve been in this same situation for a while now, hurt me like hell and I also did it to some women in the past.
It’s not right, you’re dealing with someone’s feelings here, there’s no greater good.
Fact of the matter is that people don’t like to talk about their feelings that much, but deep down both parties know where you stand.
And so, if you know a dude has feelings for you than it means he is clouded in his Judgment and you have to protect the other sometimes.
You cannot have the cake and eat it, some women (and men) go: “well, he’s an adult so it’s his choice”, but that’s BS, you don’t have a choice in the matter sometimes when you’re in love.
It’s like Inbetweener illustrates, it’s selfishness.
Me, I’ve learned that karma does exist in a way, or that what goes around comes around eventually, so do the right thing, someone has feelings for you and you don’t, cut them loose.

By: Jason

Jason — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 15:41:17 +0000

id rather feel pain then nothing at all. its sad but true.

By: jason

jason — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 22:08:08 +0000

This is soooo true. I’m going thru this right now. Everything I read is exactly what’s going on with me. She might care about me, but not the way I care for her. She doesn’t respect me, I’m sure of it. I don’t respect myself now that I have read this. I need to respect myself. I need to move on. If it were that easy.