Don’t Judge a Book By Its Cover – In Defense of “Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough” by Lori Gottlieb
So if you have found that in EVERY passionate relationship you’ve ever had that the man was selfish or volatile or uncommitted, guess what? That’s often what comes with the territory. Just look at your own life. If you want the building blocks of a 40 year relationship, you may have to trade off a little excitement for a little bit of safety and comfort. Nobody’s saying you have to give up ALL excitement. Once again, giving up on a “10″passion doesn’t mean NO passion. It means that you have enough attraction to sustain a relationship, you have a healthy sex life, and you very much enjoy the 90% of the rest of your lives that doesn’t revolve around sex. Issue #5 with “Marry Him” “Gottlieb slams feminism, and I’m a feminist, therefore I don’t like Gottlieb’s message.”
What she does say is that the “never settle/never compromise”attitude espoused by women in the name of empowerment has created a dilemma for marriage minded women.
This couldn’t be farther from the truth. Gottlieb says quite clearly in the book that feminism isn’t the problem at all. The problem, she says, is that many women (herself included) MISINTERPRETED feminism to be about not compromising in any area of women’s lives, including the choice of spouse. As she writes in the book — “It’s not feminism, per se, after all feminism never published a dating manual.”At no point does Gottlieb slam the equality achieved by feminists on behalf of all women. Nor does she say that women need men, need to be married, should sacrifice their independence or any of the other reactionary bunk that you may have assumed by reading blogs from people who couldn’t get past the title of “Marry Him”. What she does say is that the “never settle/never compromise”attitude espoused by women in the name of empowerment has created a dilemma for marriage minded women.
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