Yet, it’s never a smart idea to do something just because it’s “safe”.
One of my favorite quotes is “What would you do if you could not fail?” Well, if you could not fail, Lysette, you’d be single once again, going through the dating process, and experiencing all of the ups and downs that come with it. You’d be doing so under the assumption that there is a better man for you out there, and that the search for that man would be preferable to staying in your current relationship.
As we’ve debated endlessly on this blog, there’s not a right or wrong answer – at least not until you look back at the end of your life. Which is why it’s impossible for me to tell you what’s right for you. We can agonize about this from every angle and still not come up with the perfect answer. After all, if you leave him, you risk never finding as kind a man. If you stay, you risk resenting him and always thinking you could do better.
Choices are hard when the answers aren’t black and white. I think you’re reaching out in hopes that I can share something that you haven’t contemplated yourself.
I doubt it.
Looks fade. Money comes and goes. Intelligence is hot, but you can get stimulation in 1000 different places.
But as a dating coach who has spent four hours a day, five days a week, for six years listening to similar issues, I might be able to better predict the pros and cons of your choices.
The question is what YOU can live with.
This brings me to a point I’ve long wanted to make here, which is that everyone gives advice from their OWN experience. Myself included.
Thus, the reader who “settled down” and found herself miserable and trapped in a dead-end marriage will warn every woman, “Don’t settle! You’ll end up like me.”
The dating coach who “settled down” and found himself ecstatic with his decision after making certain compromises will tell you another story.
All I can say is that, as I get older, and work with more clients, the more confident I become that nothing is more important than kindness and selflessness.
Looks fade. Money comes and goes. Intelligence is hot, but you can get stimulation in 1000 different places. The things that matter most when assessing a life partner is whether he/she loves you unconditionally, accepts you at your worst, and puts you first.
Why He Disappeared is the smart, strong, successful woman's guide to understanding men. If you want to learn how men think, and rediscover how to have meaningful relationships - all from a man's point of view - click here to learn Why He Disappeared.
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