I have a client right now who has a wonderful 4½ month relationship with a man. But even though she feels passion for him, she feels a bit uneasy. Why? Because no matter what an amazing man he is, he still prioritizes his kids and job before her.
Is it more fun to ride a roller-coaster than a steady train? Yeah. But there’s a price to pay, too.
And so she walks on eggshells, never knowing if this man truly loves her and will want to stay with her in the long run. Yet she left her last, devoted boyfriend specifically because she didn’t feel the excitement and inspiration she wanted to feel.
Once again, there’s not a right and wrong. It’s a tradeoff, pure and simple. My client gave up comfort and chose more excitement. With that excitement comes insecurity. Is it more fun to ride a roller-coaster than a steady train? Yeah. But there’s a price to pay, too.
You know what you’re facing, Lysette. You can give up this man and take your chances that you’ll find another non-judgmental man with a bigger brain and fatter wallet. Or you can stick with what you got, knowing that while you have very real issues with him, at least he loves you, flaws and all.
Your reservations are 100% valid and you’re not wrong for wanting to leave him.
You’re still young and growing, and it’s entirely possible that you’ll find another, more impressive man who embraces your past as your current boyfriend does.
You don’t know unless you try.
Alas, only time will tell.
I wish you the best of luck. Please let us know what you end up doing.
Why He Disappeared is the smart, strong, successful woman's guide to understanding men. If you want to learn how men think, and rediscover how to have meaningful relationships - all from a man's point of view - click here to learn Why He Disappeared.
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