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Have You Ever Been Kissed By a Total Stranger Without Warning?

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Dear Evan:

When I was younger (disco diva days), I used to have this (fun for me!) phenomenon of men just coming up and kissing me. Nice kisses, movie-style, lip lock but no tongue. Then they would smile and just walk away. I ‘ m verbal, but not that kind of quick wit and so would be left standing there with a silly grin on my face and my girlfriends or guy buddies asking me "Who was that?

It was never a guy who had asked me to dance; never a guy who I had approached or had knowingly flirted with; and never would they talk to me or ask me out. Just kiss and run. Anglo, Hispanic, sometimes I wasn’t sure of their ethnicity (disco lighting); but never an AA (which I am). Sometimes, they would just hug me.

Well, disco days passed, I got married and so for the past 20 years – nothing, as I was definitely on ‘ off ‘ . Well, here I am divorced, as of 05, fast approaching 50 and trying to turn it ‘ on ‘ and it happened, again, of all places in a Lowes! It was a kiss on the cheek. A lovely one and the gentle man gave me his business card – so some things have changed, but some have not, as I’m still not at all quick enough to follow up with anything.

And I was out, for the first time in years, with a girlfriend, having a fun time playing pool, and I got hugged as I was leaving the bar. The gentle man said bye and that he hoped I ‘ d come back to the bar soon.

Well, this has made my ego feel good, but, it got me to wondering. Have you heard of this before? I don ‘ t know what to do with this effect, but would like to turn it, safely, into a way to met guys and maybe, this time out, finally learn how to date well.

Thanking you in advance.

ML

PS: I ‘ m not a beauty – am described as ‘cute’ , 5′ 9", a little ditzy and a geek, don’t wear makeup, and no one has ever described me as being ‘cool ‘ . And I really like your blog.

Dear ML,

Rarely do I get an email that renders me nearly speechless, but you take the cake. Usually, something is shocking because it’s vulgar or dirty or embarrassing, but this is just…surprising.

You turn men into Kissing Bandits, and profess total innocence about how this keeps happening to you.

And while I’d like to think have a considerable amount of experience and knowledge in the dating arena, I have never heard of anything remotely like this in my life. Which is why I feel unqualified to weigh in as to what this means or what you can make of this.

But that’s never stopped me before.

So stick with me while I think out loud here…

You’re saying that strange men kiss you for no reason without ANY warning?

No smiles, no sideways glances, no conversation, just… SMOOOCH?
Wow.

Where I went to college, this could be considered battery. A unsolicited physical assault from a stranger? How is this any different than being flashed or being groped on a subway?

In fact, the more I think about it, I’m not sure which is more unusual – the fact that you have a penchant for bringing out the friendly freaks or the fact that you really seem to ENJOY being touched by these friendly freaks….

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2 Comments »Filed Under Dating Tips & Advice, Sex & Relationship Advice

2 Responses to “Have You Ever Been Kissed By a Total Stranger Without Warning?”

  1. dirty filthy princess 1

    Even if she doesn’t say anything, perhaps she is giving off signals that she would be OK with that sort of thing. The smiles, the flirty looks, ect. So, as long as she is OK with that kind of attention and it never develops into something scary, I say go for it!

    Or, maybe she’s one of those people that kind of looks like someone else. :-)

  2. Beverly 2

    Hi Evan,
    I know a woman being kissed in this manner seems rather odd however, I can attest to this happening cause It happens to me as well.
    It doesn’t matter where I’m at or what I’m doing, if in a restaurant men will walk up to me and say “Hi, how was the food”, next thing I know, they hug and kiss me. Kiss me either on my cheek, forehead or lips (no movie star lip locks though, lol.)
    Yes, this is strange and no you really won’t believe it till you see it up close and personal. My 27 yr old daughter didn’t believe it till she saw it …. she asked me IF I knew the guy, I told her NO, then reminded her of what I’d previously told her. She still cannot wrap her mind around it even after experiencing it.
    SO maybe your next course will be something specifically for women like ML and I As I’m sure there are more of us out here.
    BTW: I’m 43 and this started happening to me 2 yrs ago when I moved to FL. I’ve been in VA for 6 months and now in NC – it’s still happening. lol

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