Nov01

Have You Ever Seen the Same People on Multiple Dating Sites and Rolled Your Eyes?

07:00 am on Nov 1st 2008 Evan Marc Katz

Finding the One Online is a comprehensive, life-changing program that covers everything I teach my clients about online dating. If you want to get your love life on track and aren't sure where to start, Finding the One Online is the best investment you can make.

26 Comments »Filed Under Online Dating Tips & Advice

26 Responses to “Have You Ever Seen the Same People on Multiple Dating Sites and Rolled Your Eyes?”

1. lisaq Nov 1st 2008 at 07:45 am 1

   All the time. Of course, I live in a relatively small town so it’s easy to recognize locals, but I also see the same faces from larger metropolitan areas. Not only are they on multiple dating sites, but also looking for dating/relationships on MySpace. That said, I was obviously on the same multiple sites so I guess eye rolling is a little hypocritical isn’t it?

2. Karl R Nov 1st 2008 at 08:09 am 2

   No. I’m incapable of that degree of hypocrisy.

3. JuJu Nov 1st 2008 at 11:26 am 3

   Since my online dating is largely limited to just posting my profiles, as opposed to actively looking at other people’s, I don’t think I have.

   But no, I won’t roll my eyes regardless. I myself, when internet-dating, post profiles on every applicable site I know of.

4. kat Nov 1st 2008 at 11:46 am 4

   i have……and then i realize what i’m doing…..and then i think about people rolling their eyes at me……and then i get depressed. i ordered the new online dating product from Evan – maybe that will help!

5. starthrower68 Nov 1st 2008 at 02:03 pm 5

   Not only are they on multiple sites, but they have the same story on each one.

6. A-L Nov 1st 2008 at 07:18 pm 6

   I don’t roll my eyes because I’ve done the same thing myself. I try to post my profile to only one major dating site at a time (I don’t put a limit on the minor ones as their dating pool is so small that it’s really not that significant), but sometimes things don’t quite work out that way (for instance, I had the 6-month free guarantee from Match.com at the same time I had a Yahoo subscription).

7. JB Nov 2nd 2008 at 06:35 am 7

   I’ve seen women on different sites and they’re different ages on them …lol some by 5 or 6 years !! For god sakes, if you’re going to lie at least be consistent. And yes we men get tired of seeing the women’s same old tired blury 5 yr.old shots come up on 5 different sites. And I’m not being hypocritical here, just because I’m perusing a site doesn’t mean I have a profile on it. My profile is NEVER up “searchable” (because it’s a waste of time for men) so no women could ever really get sick of seeing my pics.
   Sometimes I’m just curious as to why someone goes up on Match where they basically compress and ruin your photo’s as well as invade your privacy as opposed to Yahoo where they don’t. So I look on Match and see half of the same women that are on Yahoo…lol

8. satexasgirl Nov 2nd 2008 at 07:19 am 8

   I have. Obviously, that means I’ve been on them too, but I keep the same profile. The eye rolling comes in when I see the same guy with two very different profiles , but his pictures are the same

9. Jennifer Nov 2nd 2008 at 07:32 am 9

   @starthrower68, isn’t that preferable though. Wouldn’t it be odd if they had wildly different profiles on different sites?

10. happygirl Nov 2nd 2008 at 02:08 pm 10

    Yes I have rolled my eyes, but then realized that I have also been on more then one dating website. I do see some of the same men on different websites and with the same photo. I updated my photo’s and re- wrote my profile.Also I took myself of some websites and streamlined it to 2 dating websites. I want to make it clear that I am not a serial dater for the sake of just dating and going out. I am on a website in the hopes of meeting someone with whom I can build a LTR. If that is going to take time then so be it. I am not giving up on that….I know he is out there!!

11. mic Nov 3rd 2008 at 09:04 am 11

    He might mean, Do you roll your eyes at people who keep using tactics that don’t work? By the way, many of those individuals probably aren’t very attractive. If they are attractive, then maybe they’re extremely demanding, playing the field, or something else. Either way, the typical online dater probably wants to see new, attractive users.

12. -NN- Nov 4th 2008 at 07:14 am 12

    #7
    And why should one have real age in profile?
    There is this saying here “one should never ask womans age”. I think it is rude that sites make you put it there => therefore I put what I want there.
    I’m against it as a principle, since it is no-one elses business than mine, how old I am. Like I said before, my pictures ARE recent and alike, and those pictures tell a lot more how my bodyshape is, what my style is and how old I am (than any number specs would do.)
    And a man can’t see it from a picture, then that is his problem, and I rather not have him write to me at all.
    If he wants to have a number, then again he is someone I don’t want to know, since I am not an object nor on sale.

    —-
    Second thing you said:

    “My profile is NEVER up “searchable” (because it’s a waste of time for men)”

    Funny, I do seach mens profiles.. because I think that why should I wait? The site I use, shows who has viewed your profile, and that has been a good excuse for a few delicious men to write to me.
    Way better than wait passively..
    But then again, I guess you don’t succeed in your pictures?

    Because for what I have heard of those men I meet, women do write to them first, and that happens all the time, just based on what those men look…

13. Slim Pickens Nov 4th 2008 at 07:23 am 13

    There is quite a bit of overlap between yahoo and match. My eyes would quickly get tired if they rolled everytime I saw a profile listed on both. Since I always read profiles very closely I do look for discrepancies. If someone is saying one thing on one site, and the complete opposite on the other then the red flags start waving and that’s all it takes for me to move on.

14. JB Nov 4th 2008 at 05:14 pm 14

    NN ….What I meant to say is “it’s a waste of time for MOST men that aren’t 9’s or 10″s to keep thier profile searchable because no women will write to them. If you think I’m crazy just try putting up an “average guy” profile on ANY site and watch what DOES’NT happen. And yes very few women have “written me first” in the past 10 yrs but my pic can’t be that hideous because the woman I’ve been dating (that I wrote to first) the last 2 months seems to like it as well as many others over the years. My pics are always current as I’m a photographer for a living so it’s nothing for me to throw up a new quality pic every month if I want. That doesn’t mean I’m attractive it just means my pics are quality so you can actually see what I look like…lol “Attractive” is an opinion, a “quality” photo is a fact.

    Even my male recon profiles who ARE “9’s” and “10’s” ( and these were the hottest guys I could find in the country mind you) Get “looked at a lot” (when I have them searchable)but by and large the ones who wink at them and write to them FIRST are NOT the most attractive women on the site. In fact some are’nt close to being in the same league, meaning I would consider them “3’s”
    I’ve heard a rumor that SOME (not all) women online don’t like being REJECTED or ignored(like no response) ….lol especially from a guy who’s a “10″ …isn’t that a shame. Getting a taste of your own medicine sucks doesn’t it ?

15. moonsical Nov 4th 2008 at 08:49 pm 15

    Totally irrelevant to me how many sites someone is on. I am on several myself.

    moon

16. JB Nov 5th 2008 at 06:08 am 16

    moonsical, don’t you you think someone comes off as a little more desperate if they’re seen on 6 sites instead of 1 or 2 ?? What if you saw someone on 20 sites ?? Just curious ……..

    I’ve been on a couple at the same time but never searchable on either so no one would ever know unless I was stupid enough to email the same woman on BOTH sites …LOL

17. Kenley Nov 5th 2008 at 07:56 am 17

    JB,

    You’d only know if someone was on six if you were looking on six sites! Why would the people on the site be any more desperate than the people looking on the sites? I think this is the type of hypocrisy Evan talks about…we are always looking to find fault with people while never seeing the faults in ourselves.

    I personally see nothing wrong with being on as many sites as you want. Unlike most of the women on this blog, I didn’t receive tons of winks or emails on any one site, so I was on multiple sites — same profile — just different sites. And, no, I’m not obese and ugly. I am just an average, presentable, decent middle aged woman of color — not the hot commodity on-line.

    This website actually convinced me to stop internet dating because I just don’t think it’s worth the effort — or as my friend would say the juice just isn’t worth the squeeze!

18. JuJu Nov 5th 2008 at 09:15 am 18

    Indeed, all their presence on several sites would tell me is that these people are in search of a partner.

19. Cilla Nov 5th 2008 at 11:38 am 19

    No problem, I’m on several sites myself. I find they each cater to a slightly different demographic, and I don’t find a lot of overlap there. Also, I’m open to long-distance relationships, and I find different sites seem to be more popular in different parts of the country. The same site that has tons of yummy guys in Texas has almost no one in California, and vice versa.

20. JB Nov 5th 2008 at 01:43 pm 20

    Kenley, there’s a big difference between “perusing” the people on sites out of curiosity to see who’s on there or maybe to see if someone you emailed on Yahoo IS on 6 other sites etc…..(so I know kinda what I may be up against) as opposed to advertising yourself as available on many sites. It’s NOT hypocritical just because I’m looking…There’s no right or wrong answer. All I know is when I see a woman on many sites “searchable” and advertising her value to me goes down. I’d love to know Evan’s take on it. I’m pretty sure he’s not an advocate on “join as many sites as you can find to up your chances ? “

21. Karl R Nov 5th 2008 at 03:03 pm 21

    -NN- asked: (#12)
    “why should one have real age in profile?”

    Because age is more than just a number. Someone who is substantially older or younger is more likely to be at a different stage of life than you are. Also, someone close to your age is more likely to be close to your level of maturity.

    -NN- also stated:
    “it is no-one elses business than mine, how old I am.”

    Following by that line of reasoning, it should be nobody’s business what level of education I’ve received. I’m more intelligent, more well-read and more articulate than your average college graduate, so nobody is likely to figure out that I didn’t by conversing with me.

    And would you also say that it’s nobody’s business how much a man earns? He might only be earning $40,000 a year, but living the lifestyle of someone who earns $70,000 a year. His style, car and house will all match a person who earns $70,000 per year. Nobody will notice the difference until he files for bankruptcy.

    In the past year I’ve dated one woman who was 10 years older than me, and two who were 11 years younger than me. (That’s about my limit in both directions.) I’m happy to date women who are a wide range of ages. I’m not happy to date women who are so insecure in who they are that they feel the need to lie about it.

22. JuJu Nov 5th 2008 at 11:27 pm 22

    I wouldn’t consider even meeting someone with NN’s philosophy. Not my business, you say? So long and good luck.

23. Jennifer Nov 6th 2008 at 02:07 pm 23

    @Karl and JuJu- agreed. Age is more than just a number for the reasons Karl stated.

    Having such a vehement view about not sharing information that the overwhelming majority of people see as commonplace just seems extreme and contrary for its own sake.

24. moonsical Nov 6th 2008 at 06:45 pm 24

    JB,

    If an individual is worried about appearing “desperate” to a potential mate by using search-able sites and being “seen” on more than one, then they are probably not really ready to mate. Do you go to more than one bar? More than one coffee shop? Of course. We all know different spots have different attributes. On more than one site? Big deal. I hope these opinions from females on this blog expand your idea of what is acceptable. As JuJu said, “their presence on several sites would tell me…that these people are in search of a partner.” Isn’t that the point?

    Pretenses fall by the wayside when you are simply on task.

    Btw, I have had men e me on one site, then pop up on another. They are just being cute with me, I know, but it doesn’t offend me nor do I feel, “desperate,” for trying other sites, and I expect they don’t either!

    moon

    Btw…on the age issue…I’m afraid to say this because I’m fearful of the knocks I might get, but…if someone lies about their age on a site I’m a paid subscriber to, I e customer care for the site. It is deliberate misrepresentation and so, misuse of the site. If you do not want to reveal your age, perhaps find a site where it is not required or they do not match by age. That is just how I feel about it. Not to mention being tired of “old daddies” trolling for younger bait. Sorry!

25. JuJu Nov 6th 2008 at 10:22 pm 25

    Actually, moon, I rather like your approach. =)

26. moonsical Nov 7th 2008 at 12:58 pm 26

    Hey thanks JuJu! I find I often concur with your pov as well.

    moon

    I do agree re: if people don’t want to post salary, with whom you live, etc. And the sites must, too, as this is optional information.

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