Comments on: Have You Ever Seen the Same People on Multiple Dating Sites and Rolled Your Eyes? http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/have-you-ever-seen-the-same-people-on-multiple-dating-sites-and-rolled-your-eyes/ Thu, 09 Feb 2012 06:12:59 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Julie http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/have-you-ever-seen-the-same-people-on-multiple-dating-sites-and-rolled-your-eyes/comment-page-1/#comment-231454 Julie Tue, 27 Dec 2011 03:35:59 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=403#comment-231454 if I begin dating someone I met online, I do a search on other sites to see if they have profiles posted EVERYWHERE. Something just isn't right if they have to heavily market themselves and increase their exposure exponentially. Why?? because there is something about themselves that they know is undesireable. Desperation? Serial daters unable to have a real relationship? Unrealistic "criteria" for the person of their fantasy dream....here's an example....54 year old man looks 64, a few extra pounds, photo of him with his adult daughter (looks about 29) arm around her, cheek to cheek.. looking for female between ages of 29 and 45 ?????? Profile up for 3 years....shocker that they would need to be on a million sites to get just one response. On line dating is creepy!! if I begin dating someone I met online, I do a search on other sites to see if they have profiles posted EVERYWHERE. Something just isn’t right if they have to heavily market themselves and increase their exposure exponentially. Why?? because there is something about themselves that they know is undesireable. Desperation? Serial daters unable to have a real relationship? Unrealistic “criteria” for the person of their fantasy dream….here’s an example….54 year old man looks 64, a few extra pounds, photo of him with his adult daughter (looks about 29) arm around her, cheek to cheek.. looking for female between ages of 29 and 45 ?????? Profile up for 3 years….shocker that they would need to be on a million sites to get just one response. On line dating is creepy!!

]]> By: Mark http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/have-you-ever-seen-the-same-people-on-multiple-dating-sites-and-rolled-your-eyes/comment-page-1/#comment-201518 Mark Mon, 14 Nov 2011 17:43:29 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=403#comment-201518 I don't roll my eyes at all. I used to be on multiple sites myself simply because, as others have pointed out, whilst there is some overlap, there are also a lot of people who may only be on one site. Certain sites cater to different people as well. I wasn't desperate, I simply did it to increase my chances and it worked for me. I got 4 different dates from 3 different sites and the last of which was successful and she's now my girlfriend I don’t roll my eyes at all. I used to be on multiple sites myself simply because, as others have pointed out, whilst there is some overlap, there are also a lot of people who may only be on one site. Certain sites cater to different people as well. I wasn’t desperate, I simply did it to increase my chances and it worked for me. I got 4 different dates from 3 different sites and the last of which was successful and she’s now my girlfriend

]]> By: Andrea http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/have-you-ever-seen-the-same-people-on-multiple-dating-sites-and-rolled-your-eyes/comment-page-1/#comment-133846 Andrea Sun, 30 Jan 2011 02:10:12 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=403#comment-133846 I don't roll my eyes, but interesting how the same people will get "recommended" to you on multiple sites, even when you DON'T live in a low population area. If the person is a bad match on one site, it's interesting that another site will make the same bad match. I wonder about the algorithms that are used, since I frequently get matched with people who don't even want someone of my race.  How does that work. How hard could it be to keep those people off the list?  What a total waste of time. I know the comments above are pretty old, but I don't get why someone would think that they could go on a dating site and not tell anything about themselves. I also don't get the whole point of hiding your profile unless you are taking a break.  I got contacted by someone like that and I couldn't help but think "married" or "living with someone."  Esp. since a reasonable exchange that wound up with him sending his number so we could "meet for drinks" that week wound up with no response and the profile being deactivated again (hopefully it's not sketchy and he met someone else first). I still have a lot to learn about all of this... I don’t roll my eyes, but interesting how the same people will get “recommended” to you on multiple sites, even when you DON’T live in a low population area.
If the person is a bad match on one site, it’s interesting that another site will make the same bad match.
I wonder about the algorithms that are used, since I frequently get matched with people who don’t even want someone of my race.  How does that work. How hard could it be to keep those people off the list?  What a total waste of time.
I know the comments above are pretty old, but I don’t get why someone would think that they could go on a dating site and not tell anything about themselves.
I also don’t get the whole point of hiding your profile unless you are taking a break.  I got contacted by someone like that and I couldn’t help but think “married” or “living with someone.”  Esp. since a reasonable exchange that wound up with him sending his number so we could “meet for drinks” that week wound up with no response and the profile being deactivated again (hopefully it’s not sketchy and he met someone else first).
I still have a lot to learn about all of this…

]]> By: Cat http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/have-you-ever-seen-the-same-people-on-multiple-dating-sites-and-rolled-your-eyes/comment-page-1/#comment-133787 Cat Sat, 29 Jan 2011 17:27:41 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=403#comment-133787 Honestly, Rose-#27, I would never go by what the dating site says (unless they say it's been three weeks since their last login. <em>That</em> I would believe.) I've noticed problems on many sites, including okcupid and match, where it would say I'd been online when I hadn't. Match even left my profile up after I had cancelled my subscription and hidden my profile from public view! That said, what does it matter if this guy is on the dating site a lot? You should be spending more time on the site yourself instead of getting heavily invested in one guy that you haven't even met! Five hour conversations? You already wanted him to be "smitten" with you? Good lord, it would be so awkward when you met him! (You say you didn't.) You should really invest in Evan's <a href="http://www.evanmarckatz.com/products/finding-the-one-online.php" rel="nofollow">Finding The One Online</a> series, and then follow it. Honestly, Rose-#27, I would never go by what the dating site says (unless they say it’s been three weeks since their last login. That I would believe.) I’ve noticed problems on many sites, including okcupid and match, where it would say I’d been online when I hadn’t. Match even left my profile up after I had cancelled my subscription and hidden my profile from public view!

That said, what does it matter if this guy is on the dating site a lot? You should be spending more time on the site yourself instead of getting heavily invested in one guy that you haven’t even met! Five hour conversations? You already wanted him to be “smitten” with you? Good lord, it would be so awkward when you met him! (You say you didn’t.) You should really invest in Evan’s Finding The One Online series, and then follow it.

]]> By: Rose http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/have-you-ever-seen-the-same-people-on-multiple-dating-sites-and-rolled-your-eyes/comment-page-1/#comment-133739 Rose Sat, 29 Jan 2011 07:08:53 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=403#comment-133739 What about a guy who's on just one site but is on it every 2 to 5 minutes? I recently almost went out with a guy but just couldn't get past the fact that though I only went on the site only once or twice a day at various times of the day, every time I went on it would say he had been on 2 or 5 minutes before. This was after we'd written long messages to one another and had two 4/5-hour phone conversations and were talking about meeting. At that point in the connection with someone I want to feel a guy is "smitten" with me and is not scamming every minute for new prospects. There were other gut feelings that kept me from meeting him finally, but this was a big one. Am I being ridiculous? What do others think? What about a guy who’s on just one site but is on it every 2 to 5 minutes? I recently almost went out with a guy but just couldn’t get past the fact that though I only went on the site only once or twice a day at various times of the day, every time I went on it would say he had been on 2 or 5 minutes before. This was after we’d written long messages to one another and had two 4/5-hour phone conversations and were talking about meeting. At that point in the connection with someone I want to feel a guy is “smitten” with me and is not scamming every minute for new prospects. There were other gut feelings that kept me from meeting him finally, but this was a big one. Am I being ridiculous? What do others think?

]]> By: moonsical http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/have-you-ever-seen-the-same-people-on-multiple-dating-sites-and-rolled-your-eyes/comment-page-1/#comment-17119 moonsical Fri, 07 Nov 2008 20:58:30 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=403#comment-17119 Hey thanks JuJu! I find I often concur with your pov as well. moon I do agree re: if people don't want to post salary, with whom you live, etc. And the sites must, too, as this is optional information. Hey thanks JuJu! I find I often concur with your pov as well.

moon

I do agree re: if people don’t want to post salary, with whom you live, etc. And the sites must, too, as this is optional information.

]]> By: JuJu http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/have-you-ever-seen-the-same-people-on-multiple-dating-sites-and-rolled-your-eyes/comment-page-1/#comment-17086 JuJu Fri, 07 Nov 2008 06:22:33 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=403#comment-17086 Actually, moon, I rather like your approach. =) Actually, moon, I rather like your approach. =)

]]> By: moonsical http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/have-you-ever-seen-the-same-people-on-multiple-dating-sites-and-rolled-your-eyes/comment-page-1/#comment-17064 moonsical Fri, 07 Nov 2008 02:45:13 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=403#comment-17064 JB, If an individual is worried about appearing "desperate" to a potential mate by using search-able sites and being "seen" on more than one, then they are probably not really ready to mate. Do you go to more than one bar? More than one coffee shop? Of course. We all know different spots have different attributes. On more than one site? Big deal. I hope these opinions from females on this blog expand your idea of what is acceptable. As JuJu said, "their presence on several sites would tell me...that these people are in search of a partner." Isn't that the point? Pretenses fall by the wayside when you are simply on task. Btw, I have had men e me on one site, then pop up on another. They are just being cute with me, I know, but it doesn't offend me nor do I feel, "desperate," for trying other sites, and I expect they don't either! moon Btw...on the age issue...I'm afraid to say this because I'm fearful of the knocks I might get, but...if someone lies about their age on a site I'm a paid subscriber to, I e customer care for the site. It is deliberate misrepresentation and so, misuse of the site. If you do not want to reveal your age, perhaps find a site where it is not required or they do not match by age. That is just how I feel about it. Not to mention being tired of "old daddies" trolling for younger bait. Sorry! JB,

If an individual is worried about appearing “desperate” to a potential mate by using search-able sites and being “seen” on more than one, then they are probably not really ready to mate. Do you go to more than one bar? More than one coffee shop? Of course. We all know different spots have different attributes. On more than one site? Big deal. I hope these opinions from females on this blog expand your idea of what is acceptable. As JuJu said, “their presence on several sites would tell me…that these people are in search of a partner.” Isn’t that the point?

Pretenses fall by the wayside when you are simply on task.

Btw, I have had men e me on one site, then pop up on another. They are just being cute with me, I know, but it doesn’t offend me nor do I feel, “desperate,” for trying other sites, and I expect they don’t either!

moon

Btw…on the age issue…I’m afraid to say this because I’m fearful of the knocks I might get, but…if someone lies about their age on a site I’m a paid subscriber to, I e customer care for the site. It is deliberate misrepresentation and so, misuse of the site. If you do not want to reveal your age, perhaps find a site where it is not required or they do not match by age. That is just how I feel about it. Not to mention being tired of “old daddies” trolling for younger bait. Sorry!

]]> By: Jennifer http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/have-you-ever-seen-the-same-people-on-multiple-dating-sites-and-rolled-your-eyes/comment-page-1/#comment-17034 Jennifer Thu, 06 Nov 2008 22:07:38 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=403#comment-17034 @Karl and JuJu- agreed. Age is more than just a number for the reasons Karl stated. Having such a vehement view about not sharing information that the overwhelming majority of people see as commonplace just seems extreme and contrary for its own sake. @Karl and JuJu- agreed. Age is more than just a number for the reasons Karl stated.

Having such a vehement view about not sharing information that the overwhelming majority of people see as commonplace just seems extreme and contrary for its own sake.

]]> By: JuJu http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/have-you-ever-seen-the-same-people-on-multiple-dating-sites-and-rolled-your-eyes/comment-page-1/#comment-16991 JuJu Thu, 06 Nov 2008 07:27:38 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=403#comment-16991 I wouldn't consider even meeting someone with NN's philosophy. Not my business, you say? So long and good luck. I wouldn’t consider even meeting someone with NN’s philosophy. Not my business, you say? So long and good luck.

]]>