Comments on: How Come Everyone I Want to Meet Online Isn’t Interested in Me? http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-come-older-men-cant-get-younger-women/ Thu, 09 Feb 2012 05:00:21 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Nicole http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-come-older-men-cant-get-younger-women/comment-page-2/#comment-246869 Nicole Sun, 15 Jan 2012 19:09:04 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-come-older-men-cant-get-younger-women/#comment-246869 Well, as for the egg argument, maybe Gabe wants to date even younger "women" for save measure since a woman loses about 70% of her eggs by puberty. So if you want to go for the numbers argument, then why not date 12 years olds?     Well, as for the egg argument, maybe Gabe wants to date even younger “women” for save measure since a woman loses about 70% of her eggs by puberty.

So if you want to go for the numbers argument, then why not date 12 years olds?  

 

]]> By: SS http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-come-older-men-cant-get-younger-women/comment-page-2/#comment-246808 SS Sun, 15 Jan 2012 15:10:17 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-come-older-men-cant-get-younger-women/#comment-246808 Gabe, just speaking from my own perspective, I was approached by 30-year-old men when I was 18... and approached by a 36-year-old when I was 21. And then by a 42-year-old man when I was 25. And then, by a 50-year-old when I was 29. I told all of them that they were too old for me. (And yes, I found them creepy.) All of them were rather miffed when I said they were too old for me, and spent time trying to convince me that they could better understand me than a man my own age, that I was foolish to pass them up, that if men my own age were so great, why was I still single, etc., etc.... it was rather interesting how bothered they were that I said no, and that I specifically cited their age as a reason. Did they expect that I would fall at their feet simply because I was younger? It's interesting how upset they got... did they buy into the idea so often spread that their dating pools get larger as they get older and that they could get all of the young women they wanted? I ended up marrying a man who was 6 years older than me. That was a safe enough age difference for both of us... did he want a somewhat younger woman for fertility reasons? Sure... but someone who could still relate to him when he had a discussion about growing up in the 1980s and going to college in the 1990s. And as for fertility, it does decline the older a woman gets, that is certainly true. I also wouldn't want to be one to wait until I was 40 to start having babies either. But most women in their early 30s don't have fertility problems either (at least, not looking at all the growing bellies from early 30s women in my women's volunteer group and from my former co-workers who are about 30-34)... and this something my husband understood when he pursued me... and so far, he's been proven correct. With 81% of my eggs gone and all.  :) I know you want what you want Gabe, and I'm not here to harangue you over your desires in women. But I'm just going to say that if you're going to tell women how we supposedly felt about dating older men when we were 19, then it's better to hear it straight from our mouths... and yes, you can count me as one of those women who thought it was quite creepy and had no hesitation telling those men exactly how I felt about that. Gabe, just speaking from my own perspective, I was approached by 30-year-old men when I was 18… and approached by a 36-year-old when I was 21. And then by a 42-year-old man when I was 25. And then, by a 50-year-old when I was 29. I told all of them that they were too old for me. (And yes, I found them creepy.)
All of them were rather miffed when I said they were too old for me, and spent time trying to convince me that they could better understand me than a man my own age, that I was foolish to pass them up, that if men my own age were so great, why was I still single, etc., etc…. it was rather interesting how bothered they were that I said no, and that I specifically cited their age as a reason. Did they expect that I would fall at their feet simply because I was younger? It’s interesting how upset they got… did they buy into the idea so often spread that their dating pools get larger as they get older and that they could get all of the young women they wanted?
I ended up marrying a man who was 6 years older than me. That was a safe enough age difference for both of us… did he want a somewhat younger woman for fertility reasons? Sure… but someone who could still relate to him when he had a discussion about growing up in the 1980s and going to college in the 1990s.
And as for fertility, it does decline the older a woman gets, that is certainly true. I also wouldn’t want to be one to wait until I was 40 to start having babies either. But most women in their early 30s don’t have fertility problems either (at least, not looking at all the growing bellies from early 30s women in my women’s volunteer group and from my former co-workers who are about 30-34)… and this something my husband understood when he pursued me… and so far, he’s been proven correct. With 81% of my eggs gone and all.  :)
I know you want what you want Gabe, and I’m not here to harangue you over your desires in women. But I’m just going to say that if you’re going to tell women how we supposedly felt about dating older men when we were 19, then it’s better to hear it straight from our mouths… and yes, you can count me as one of those women who thought it was quite creepy and had no hesitation telling those men exactly how I felt about that.

]]> By: Ray http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-come-older-men-cant-get-younger-women/comment-page-2/#comment-246785 Ray Sun, 15 Jan 2012 14:14:55 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-come-older-men-cant-get-younger-women/#comment-246785 <a href="mailto:DMC@64" rel="nofollow">DMC@64</a> Sorry... it is time Dale accept that he is past his prime as a suitable father.  If he really gave a damn about kids and sincerely wanted to make a difference in a child's life, he wouldn't mind adopting or helping a woman he cares about raise the children she already has.  Which is why I believe his intentions are not genuine.  He just wants a younger woman and this is the preferred 'hook'.  More for his ego than starting a family.  Total BS.  There are some new studies that show that older men's sperm contribute to birth defects.  It's not just the women who have to worry about their genetic material getting 'old'.     DMC@64

Sorry… it is time Dale accept that he is past his prime as a suitable father.  If he really gave a damn about kids and sincerely wanted to make a difference in a child’s life, he wouldn’t mind adopting or helping a woman he cares about raise the children she already has.  Which is why I believe his intentions are not genuine.  He just wants a younger woman and this is the preferred ‘hook’.  More for his ego than starting a family.  Total BS. 

There are some new studies that show that older men’s sperm contribute to birth defects.  It’s not just the women who have to worry about their genetic material getting ‘old’.    

]]> By: Ray http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-come-older-men-cant-get-younger-women/comment-page-2/#comment-246780 Ray Sun, 15 Jan 2012 13:59:48 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-come-older-men-cant-get-younger-women/#comment-246780 keep in mind that Gabe prefers insecure women.  He's already solidified his attraction as being primarly predatory... not relationship oriented.  His input is informative if nothing more than helping women learn the 'tells' to help avoid men like him in real life.  It is my observation that secure people of all ages generally prefer people their own age.  Sure, there are exceptions...  Those who <em>prefer</em> large age ranges generally have some personality issues (mommy/daddy issues).  Can't be too concerned with them though.   Just avoid them.  The good thing about online dating is that it is easy to see a man's preferred age range and choose not to contact him or respond if it is something whacked out.      Those men aren't looking for character and compatibility (as Gabe routinely demonstrates).  You don't want them.   keep in mind that Gabe prefers insecure women.  He’s already solidified his attraction as being primarly predatory… not relationship oriented.  His input is informative if nothing more than helping women learn the ‘tells’ to help avoid men like him in real life. 

It is my observation that secure people of all ages generally prefer people their own age.  Sure, there are exceptions…  Those who prefer large age ranges generally have some personality issues (mommy/daddy issues).  Can’t be too concerned with them though.   Just avoid them. 

The good thing about online dating is that it is easy to see a man’s preferred age range and choose not to contact him or respond if it is something whacked out. 
 
  Those men aren’t looking for character and compatibility (as Gabe routinely demonstrates).  You don’t want them.

 

]]> By: sephornet http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-come-older-men-cant-get-younger-women/comment-page-2/#comment-246633 sephornet Sun, 15 Jan 2012 06:40:34 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-come-older-men-cant-get-younger-women/#comment-246633 <em>Ray @ 62: "This is just a convenient pick up line for older men wanting some younger tail." </em>Cosign. <em>Gabe Asher @ 66: "A 19 yo woman didn't think it was creepy for her to date a 30 yo when SHE was 19." </em>I was 18 the first time that a 30-something man hit on me. I could not understand why that old man thought I would be interested in him. Ray @ 62: “This is just a convenient pick up line for older men wanting some younger tail.”

Cosign.

Gabe Asher @ 66: “A 19 yo woman didn’t think it was creepy for her to date a 30 yo when SHE was 19.”

I was 18 the first time that a 30-something man hit on me. I could not understand why that old man thought I would be interested in him.

]]> By: Gabe Asher http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-come-older-men-cant-get-younger-women/comment-page-2/#comment-246591 Gabe Asher Sun, 15 Jan 2012 04:34:35 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-come-older-men-cant-get-younger-women/#comment-246591 @61  I noticed that men will generally date women in their age range up until about 30, then it's younger from there on out. Women date in their range up until about 22, then look for older dudes UNTIL about 45-50, then they want dudes their own age again. Don't fight the norm, embrace it and move forward. . I am on this same program. I am 32, and at this age, women from 17 to 40 are interested in me. I would never choose a woman my age as I have many choices for younger women. My friends and I all agree that we would prefer an average looking teenager who is a "5" for example, than a 35 yo who is a 9 or 10. Youth trumps looks for most men, let's kick the ballistics here. We are programed to be attracted to fertil women and a 30 yo woman has spent 81% of her eggs. (not to scare the 30somethings here). All the Radiesse/perlane/botox injections, fat transfers, lip injections, neck/brow lifts, chin implants in the world will help women look better for their age, not younger. Mother nature has given us men an "age radar" that is much more advanced than any surgeons knife. . A 19 yo woman didn't think it was creepy for her to date a 30 yo when SHE was 19. Now that she is 45 and single, it is now "creepy". It's really not creepy to most of them. It's an easy excuse to hide their jealousy of another womans youth. I understand that, we hate to age. But don't hate young women, you were also young too, and had your time to enjoy your youth. Don't hate on the younger women, pass them the torch and be happy for them, for they are in their prime. Stay positive! @61  I noticed that men will generally date women in their age range up until about 30, then it’s younger from there on out. Women date in their range up until about 22, then look for older dudes UNTIL about 45-50, then they want dudes their own age again. Don’t fight the norm, embrace it and move forward.
.
I am on this same program. I am 32, and at this age, women from 17 to 40 are interested in me. I would never choose a woman my age as I have many choices for younger women. My friends and I all agree that we would prefer an average looking teenager who is a “5″ for example, than a 35 yo who is a 9 or 10. Youth trumps looks for most men, let’s kick the ballistics here. We are programed to be attracted to fertil women and a 30 yo woman has spent 81% of her eggs. (not to scare the 30somethings here). All the Radiesse/perlane/botox injections, fat transfers, lip injections, neck/brow lifts, chin implants in the world will help women look better for their age, not younger. Mother nature has given us men an “age radar” that is much more advanced than any surgeons knife.
.
A 19 yo woman didn’t think it was creepy for her to date a 30 yo when SHE was 19. Now that she is 45 and single, it is now “creepy”. It’s really not creepy to most of them. It’s an easy excuse to hide their jealousy of another womans youth. I understand that, we hate to age. But don’t hate young women, you were also young too, and had your time to enjoy your youth. Don’t hate on the younger women, pass them the torch and be happy for them, for they are in their prime. Stay positive!

]]> By: DMC http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-come-older-men-cant-get-younger-women/comment-page-2/#comment-243058 DMC Mon, 09 Jan 2012 20:13:27 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-come-older-men-cant-get-younger-women/#comment-243058 Also, I don't think it's unusal at all for an older man to want a younger woman.  Let's be honest - women tend to have more leverage when they are younger and more beautiful but men tend to as they age and are more sure of themselves and financially secure.  @ Ray - we must live in two different world's hun, b/c 1) I don't see what you are reporting AT ALL and 2) I think it's kind of crazy that you would insuiate that women have been held down or kept back in some way when it comes to dating.  The status quo, while changing, has ALWAYS favored women greatly.  I believe that might be personal predjudice talking on your behalf. It's not like he's looking to date 23 yr old coed bikini models who are full on into the vapid/superficial/party youth phase.  He's (presumably) talking about mature, adult women.  As you age, the "things in common" gap shrinks.  Mayber it's taking women longer to grow up these days, I guess.... Also, I don’t think it’s unusal at all for an older man to want a younger woman.  Let’s be honest – women tend to have more leverage when they are younger and more beautiful but men tend to as they age and are more sure of themselves and financially secure. 

@ Ray – we must live in two different world’s hun, b/c 1) I don’t see what you are reporting AT ALL and 2) I think it’s kind of crazy that you would insuiate that women have been held down or kept back in some way when it comes to dating.  The status quo, while changing, has ALWAYS favored women greatly.  I believe that might be personal predjudice talking on your behalf.

It’s not like he’s looking to date 23 yr old coed bikini models who are full on into the vapid/superficial/party youth phase.  He’s (presumably) talking about mature, adult women.  As you age, the “things in common” gap shrinks.  Mayber it’s taking women longer to grow up these days, I guess….

]]> By: DMC http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-come-older-men-cant-get-younger-women/comment-page-2/#comment-243046 DMC Mon, 09 Jan 2012 20:04:03 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-come-older-men-cant-get-younger-women/#comment-243046 While I agree with many of the points Evan made, I think he's glossing over one important factor - Dale wants to have kids, which disqualifies women his own age.  Now maybe this is a negotiable item, but I'm assuming it pretty darn important the way it's worded.  If so, you are far more asking him to settle than compromise. Quite frankly, I think Dale should be looking at younger foreign women.  Then generally tend to favor security and family over the more superficial things like looks and "how we will look as a couple" like American women seem to do. I have to say, personally I've always found online dating to swing in the favor of men more than women.  It always seemed to me women have to humble themselves a little bit and post a profile, where men are used to putting themselves out there.  That insecurity I always found made women more open and a bit less fickle. While I agree with many of the points Evan made, I think he’s glossing over one important factor – Dale wants to have kids, which disqualifies women his own age.  Now maybe this is a negotiable item, but I’m assuming it pretty darn important the way it’s worded.  If so, you are far more asking him to settle than compromise.

Quite frankly, I think Dale should be looking at younger foreign women.  Then generally tend to favor security and family over the more superficial things like looks and “how we will look as a couple” like American women seem to do.

I have to say, personally I’ve always found online dating to swing in the favor of men more than women.  It always seemed to me women have to humble themselves a little bit and post a profile, where men are used to putting themselves out there.  That insecurity I always found made women more open and a bit less fickle.

]]> By: FashionMaven http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-come-older-men-cant-get-younger-women/comment-page-2/#comment-243008 FashionMaven Mon, 09 Jan 2012 18:40:53 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-come-older-men-cant-get-younger-women/#comment-243008 I once went out with a guy who was 11 years older than me.  I'd never dated anyone that much older before.  But I had a good time - it became obvious to me that he was only interested in using me as arm candy... we actually had a conversation at one point that revealed some of my character and suddenly he got very introspective and rather sad.  He actually teared up a bit because he realized that if he'd met me 11 years prior, he'd have married me and been really happy.   It made me wonder what he'd been doing all that time... had he been searching for eye candy for 20+ years and then got surprised when I was *more* than something to hang off his arm?  Had he NEVER met any other women like this?  And I knew for sure he was surrounded by amazing women his own age (these kinds of women were the type that mentored me!).   I guess I'm asking how this guy and maybe "Dale" above got to be 56 or whatever single?  What have they been doing all these years?  And why focus on the young women?  Why not the fabulous women their own age?   I'm not yet 40 - though I'm getting there - when I do, I'd like to hope/think that I'll have the opportunity to meet men in my age range still!  If not, I guess I have a little time before I cross the barrier. I once went out with a guy who was 11 years older than me.  I’d never dated anyone that much older before.  But I had a good time – it became obvious to me that he was only interested in using me as arm candy… we actually had a conversation at one point that revealed some of my character and suddenly he got very introspective and rather sad.  He actually teared up a bit because he realized that if he’d met me 11 years prior, he’d have married me and been really happy.
 
It made me wonder what he’d been doing all that time… had he been searching for eye candy for 20+ years and then got surprised when I was *more* than something to hang off his arm?  Had he NEVER met any other women like this?  And I knew for sure he was surrounded by amazing women his own age (these kinds of women were the type that mentored me!).
 
I guess I’m asking how this guy and maybe “Dale” above got to be 56 or whatever single?  What have they been doing all these years?  And why focus on the young women?  Why not the fabulous women their own age?
 
I’m not yet 40 – though I’m getting there – when I do, I’d like to hope/think that I’ll have the opportunity to meet men in my age range still!  If not, I guess I have a little time before I cross the barrier.

]]> By: Ray http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-come-older-men-cant-get-younger-women/comment-page-2/#comment-242272 Ray Sun, 08 Jan 2012 13:53:26 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-come-older-men-cant-get-younger-women/#comment-242272 I think it is funny that every man over 40 trying to get into the shorts of women in their 20's and 30's defaults to the line that they want to have children. I'm betting most of the don't... or would be just fine not having children.  This is just a convenient pick up line for older men wanting some younger tail. I see lots of posters like bragging how much younger tail they get, or use scare tactics on women that we need to settle for them... or else.  Naaa.  Things are changing.  The dating world is opening up for women of all ages... the ones who take care of themselves and have interesting things to talk about that is.   Older men are great for friendships and mentors though.... which is how it should be.  I have many.  The classy ones enjoy my company and that is that.  The crass ones who won't shut up about wanting to have sex with me, I kick to the curb.  Men who want sex with women young enough to be their daughters are like pedophiles in my book.  Its disgusting.   I think it is funny that every man over 40 trying to get into the shorts of women in their 20′s and 30′s defaults to the line that they want to have children.

I’m betting most of the don’t… or would be just fine not having children.  This is just a convenient pick up line for older men wanting some younger tail.

I see lots of posters like bragging how much younger tail they get, or use scare tactics on women that we need to settle for them… or else.  Naaa.  Things are changing. 

The dating world is opening up for women of all ages… the ones who take care of themselves and have interesting things to talk about that is.  

Older men are great for friendships and mentors though…. which is how it should be.  I have many.  The classy ones enjoy my company and that is that.  The crass ones who won’t shut up about wanting to have sex with me, I kick to the curb.  Men who want sex with women young enough to be their daughters are like pedophiles in my book.  Its disgusting.
 

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