Comments on: How Do I Get A Guy to Make A Move After I Rejected Him Once? http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-do-i-get-a-guy-to-make-a-move-after-i-rejected-him-once/ Wed, 19 Jun 2013 09:37:25 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: hunter http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-do-i-get-a-guy-to-make-a-move-after-i-rejected-him-once/comment-page-1/#comment-419520 hunter Fri, 05 Oct 2012 21:02:24 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=11886#comment-419520 she can manipulate him to ask her out….

]]> By: JB http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-do-i-get-a-guy-to-make-a-move-after-i-rejected-him-once/comment-page-1/#comment-409711 JB Mon, 24 Sep 2012 22:14:39 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=11886#comment-409711 Androgynous is 100% correct Joe. The answer is NO I don’t have platonic women that I “hang out” with. I honestly barely have time for work and women I’m actually dating or persuing online for “meet & greets”….lol

I do have female friends that I occasionally “run across” at a bar or singles event that I’ve known for years and I’ll happily chat with them for a bit then move on to meeting SINGLE women I may be interested in. I used to have a couple of women that I just played tennis with (which was great for me because I love to play) but I had NO sexual interest in either and I assume they finally figured out over time that’s REALLY all I wanted and they lost interest. Oh well.

]]> By: Androgynous http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-do-i-get-a-guy-to-make-a-move-after-i-rejected-him-once/comment-page-1/#comment-406646 Androgynous Sat, 22 Sep 2012 01:03:16 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=11886#comment-406646 Joe, as JB is in the market looking for a relationship, he is not going to “waste time” on women who are interested in having one with him. Opportunity cost you see – the more time he spends with a woman not interested in him as a romantic partner is time he could have spent with a woman who does. 
That doesn’t mean that JB does not have female friends or is totally incapable of having female friends. The difference is that he is not likely to spend the kind of time and money on these female friends (who probably don’t expect him to anyway) to the same level as he would spend on a potential romantic partner.  If these women are expecting JB to do this while they “decide” or stay in a holding pattern while they see if the friendship can progress, then JB is being used to some level.
More likely these women have no interest in pursuing anything with Joe and are only bringing this “friends” business as a polite way of saying “I am not interested, goodbye”. Men generally are more blunt and honest. Joe might’ve picked up on this vibe and wisely moved on.
 

]]> By: Joe http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-do-i-get-a-guy-to-make-a-move-after-i-rejected-him-once/comment-page-1/#comment-405962 Joe Fri, 21 Sep 2012 02:21:15 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=11886#comment-405962 @ JB: you don’t have women friends who you hang out with?  When you’re not actively dating, do you limit yourself to hanging out only with men friends?

]]> By: helene http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-do-i-get-a-guy-to-make-a-move-after-i-rejected-him-once/comment-page-1/#comment-405165 helene Wed, 19 Sep 2012 22:01:08 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=11886#comment-405165 I agree that this girl will have to “make the move” now as he’s hardly going to try again after her previous reaction, but I think she needs to give some thought as to the “move” she makes. Much as men like sex, I think if she made a move on him sexually, out of the blue, as it were, then this might confuse him – he might wonder if she just wanted to hook up for the night with someone she felt was “safe”. A conversation would be better, but I’m also wondering about a letter. Not a text or e-mail, but a good old fashioned letter. Its sweet, it allows her to choose her words carefully and it also allows him time to digest what she’s saying without having to respond immediately. Also, if she ends it with something like: ” I don’t know if you are still interested but if you are, give me a call….” then immediately this puts him back in the driving seat of the relationship. Rather than ” making a move” she’s kinda saying “If you want to make a move again, I’d like that…”

Just my 2 cents…

]]> By: Tom10 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-do-i-get-a-guy-to-make-a-move-after-i-rejected-him-once/comment-page-1/#comment-405094 Tom10 Wed, 19 Sep 2012 18:33:16 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=11886#comment-405094 This is the old Tom – my identity has been usurped!

I agree with Jackie Holness, Leo and JB – men rarely put too much time or effort into platonic relationships if they don’t have some hope of more (although it does happen). The fact he’s still there is a good sign. The fact he already made the first move should reduce the risk of him “feeling emasculated” if the OP makes a move.

In this situation I don’t think the same rules apply Jeannie, so sleep with him as soon as you are comfortable, i.e. now :)
 
 
 
 
 

]]> By: Tom http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-do-i-get-a-guy-to-make-a-move-after-i-rejected-him-once/comment-page-1/#comment-405014 Tom Wed, 19 Sep 2012 15:33:07 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=11886#comment-405014 The growing emanicapation of women has many benefits besides those dealing with increased sexual freedom and improving economic freedom and power:  Women are now increasingly exposed to the fears resulting from rejection that men – previously the hunters – have always been exposed to.  I posit this will help men and women to better navigate the sometimes difficult terrrains of courtship because we now share some of the same insecurities we ostensibly both have and understand each other better given common experiences.

]]> By: AllenB http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-do-i-get-a-guy-to-make-a-move-after-i-rejected-him-once/comment-page-1/#comment-404704 AllenB Wed, 19 Sep 2012 05:11:48 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=11886#comment-404704 @JB, you sound very goal oriented.  In the years before I met my fiance, I did the platonic thing with an ex-gf because the friendship was one I valued.  It was about being the now and the moment. That time together enriched my life immensely for quite a while after our relationship ended.  Yes, there was some tension there and as a result I wasn’t as lighthearted as I normally am, but my friend and I agree it was worth the time spent.  I did harbor a glimmer of hope from time to time, but that was not my motivation.  It was all about being with someone I cared about and enjoyed a great deal. Did it mean less dating and putting off meeting my fiance?  Sure, but it was worth it.

]]> By: JB http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-do-i-get-a-guy-to-make-a-move-after-i-rejected-him-once/comment-page-1/#comment-404392 JB Tue, 18 Sep 2012 18:16:52 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=11886#comment-404392 Who are these men that have time to “hang out” platonically with women that aren’t attracted to them, how old are they, and why would they? I know for myself at 51 being a very busy man I don’t even think about doing such a thing. I don’t have the time. Why? Because I have “options” and I let women that I don’t have time for that sort of non sense. The one woman that tried that ”friend zone” drivel on me earlier this year learned this because I was honest and told her “I’m not on Match looking for a hang out buddy, we’re either going to date like adults or this will be goodbye and you can call me IF you change your mind” and she understood. God bless the people that have time in their lives for platonic adult friendships. This guy put in what sounds like a lot of time (pining and fawning over)and it might according to the OP come to fruition but it sounds like a lot of trouble for a”maybe”.

]]> By: Liz http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-do-i-get-a-guy-to-make-a-move-after-i-rejected-him-once/comment-page-1/#comment-404344 Liz Tue, 18 Sep 2012 17:06:44 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/?p=11886#comment-404344 Funny I think when it is right, there is no OT at all. They call when they say, do what they say, and see us every week. The OT is when it is not right and we are thinking of 100 reasons why he didn’t do the above.

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