And that’s what over-sharing is on a first date. You take Wellbutrin to keep it together? Save it. Your last boyfriend physically abused you? Save it. You just got out of rehab? Save it. In other words, if you think it might be poorly received, SAVE IT for later. Because we’re all a lot more forgiving of “issues” when we know and like someone than when we’re meeting them cold on a blind date. The same thing that might label you a “freak” on date one may actually be heartwarming and vulnerable later on.
By the way, I say this as a guy who has some legitimate “issues” himself, and never ran into major troubles with any women because of how and when I dealt with them.
SO… are you going to be asked about your relationship history frequently on dates? Absolutely. It’s a fair question, and usually a very revealing one. But if you’re not ready to reveal, try gliding past it. And please, keep it light. Being matter of fact is key, since the bigger deal you make of it, the bigger deal it becomes.
“So what happened with your last girlfriend?”
“Sorry, previous relationships are a date 3 question. Unless we’re talking about yours, of course…”
“Let’s just say that I haven’t had anything serious in a really long time.”
“I’ve been so focused on work for the past few years that I haven’t left much time to date. Which is why I’m here with you right now.”
Like a politician, you can answer the question without really answering the question.
Again, I’m just making stuff up here, but, like a politician, you can answer the question without really answering the question. The only way this backfires is if she turns into a pitbull and presses you for a more tangible answer, names, dates, hair samples.
Of course, if she does interrogate you, you probably don’t want to go out with her anyway.
Why He Disappeared is the smart, strong, successful woman's guide to understanding men. If you want to learn how men think, and rediscover how to have meaningful relationships - all from a man's point of view - click here to learn Why He Disappeared.
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