I am a shy person too, to the point that I even have trouble making eye contact with men I find attractive (a real stumbling block, since eye contact is really one of the best ways a woman can provide a man with an “opener”).

I don’t think the world is going to change any time soon to make it easy on us shy people to socialize with ease and start relationships. We live in a society (even a world) that is very extrovert-oriented. Very assertive people are admired and even seen as superior or more competent in their jobs, more attractive in their personalities, etc, than introverted people. It doesn’t mean us introverts have to change who we are (not possible anyway) but it does mean that since we are living in a world that is not really friendly to us, we have to *adapt*. Adapting is what makes humans so successful as a species, able to survive in all sorts of climates. By refusing to adapt, you are minimizing your opportunities to relate and/or mate. That’s nature’s way of deleting you out of the human gene pool.

Shyness is not an easy hurdle to overcome. I know. I am doing hypnotherapy to try to overcome my shyness, and it is starting to help. It is cost-effective, and you will see results quite quickly (especially compared to other more traditional “talk” oriented therapies). I highly recommend it. I think it would really enhance your dating life.

If you can’t do any of the above, then perhaps you should ask your friends to fix you up with women they know. This hasn’t worked for me, as my friends either ignored my request or told me point blank that if they knew an attractive guy my age, they would be dating him themselves, and would not fix me up! LOL But seriously, look around at your social networks, and see if there are any likely matchmaker-candidates. People who are already engaged or recently married are usually pretty gung-ho to fix up their single friends, and this can be an easy way for a shy person to meet someone new, with minimal risk (especially since your date has to be nice to you and polite, given the whole mutual-friends situation…)

1. Take up dancing. Lots of single men show up at ballroom dance classes, contra dances, and so on. Try dancepartner.com to find such men in your area, or just go to a free event in your area. Although some classes/events may require you to sign up with a partner, you can go contra dancing by yourself (it’s not technically a partner dance, since everyone in the room ends up dancing with everyone else in the room), and lots of single contra dancers marry people they meet through contra dancing.

2. Put your best foot forward on your online profile, but don’t put all your eggs in the online dating basket, as the odds are stacked against you in that particular venue.

3. A book I read did an actual survey of women leaving a marriage license office, asking them how they met their spouses. A whoppingly-high percentage of engaged women over 40 met their mates through some sort of health or sports club activity, so definitely join a (friendly!) gym, ski club or other activity like that. They are often informal singles meet-and-greets, or have events that basically function as singles get-togethers.

Contrary to what you asserted (“In one of your other comments you mentioned that you were going to always, always, always remain single.”), I made no such statement whatsoever. I have said I see no legal reason to marry, but that is another subject, and stated in another thread, I believe.

If you wish to pick a fight, that is your choice. However, at least make a minimal effort to be accurate in your paraphrasing. Do not make something up that does not exist. I, for one, will respond no further to you.

Best of luck to you.

..weren’t you two ever told, that, one of god’s biggest jokes, is to allow women to go through their 20’s, just to keep this planet populated?……some women, have to think this way, just to maintain their sanity….

Why, Verbosity? Other than to live up to your name?

In one of your other comments you mentioned that you were going to always, always, always remain single. (Notwithstanding the degree to which your personality itself might be an outstanding relationship repellant. But I digress.)

As a result, what could you possibly have to say to people that want to be partnered?

Or are you just “inserting your masculine energy”, as David DeAngelo puts it? Waving your wand at the world in a desperate, panting attempt to insure it knows that you exist?

Other than that, I tend to agree with you.

My “target audience” is perhaps slightly different – men under 35 – and there are PLENTY of unmarried and childless men in that age group. I am not feeling the scarcity yet.

But I was referring to something else. Have you noticed that with age your standards… well, maybe not so much -rise-, but get much more honed? I know fully well that I wouldn’t have even -considered- now some of the people I dated at 18-20, when supposedly I was more attractive simply because of my youth.

That’s what I meant.