I remember one woman who dated me thru JDate that year. Great chemistry. Lots of laughs. Similar values. However, she, unlike you, Samantha, couldn’t get over the fact that I had no money. And since she was 32, independently wealthy, divorced and eager to start a family of her own, she simply couldn’t wait for me to get my career off the ground. I was upset – but I understood. I was in no position to provide for her when I could barely support myself. I do remember leaving her with some of my favorite parting words, though:
”Those lawyers and bankers who you’re going to date might be able to provide for you now, but they might never make you laugh. They might never turn you on. They might never feed your soul. But one day, I WILL make more money.”…
But I digress.
It sounds to me like you and this guy are a pretty special match. And the only way for you to overcome his deep seated insecurity is to be 100% consistent in your messaging to him. EVENTUALLY, he’ll come to realize that you’re for real; that the bottom isn’t simply going to drop out from under him. Unconditional love is really the closest thing to a cure for shaky self-esteem. If you believe in him, he’ll believe in himself.
Unconditional love is really the closest thing to a cure for shaky self-esteem.
1. If he only has momentary lapses where he confesses his insecurity, that’s cool. Reaching for the check, taking vacations, purchasing nice birthday gifts – all are going to be a bit of a struggle for him – and you’ll just have to be patient. However, if he’s beating himself up all the time, this could go deeper than money. And you’ll have to ask why this man is so averse to getting a real job. One thing I understand after seven years of screenwriting in
2. Are you SURE that you’re okay with a dirt-poor guy? Just know that if you stay in your profession and he stays in his profession, you may have to carry him financially. Partners carry each other all the time, but do ask yourself if that’s the life you want to live. It’s wonderful that you say that character is all that matters, but I’d be remiss if I failed to mention that it’s fair to desire financial stability.
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