Comments on: How Do You Convince Your Cheating Girlfriend That She’s Really In Love With You?

By: NonExist

NonExist — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 18:58:45 +0000

@Peter #17,
Polyamory works but only if all people are in agreement. In this article Dan is not in agreement with it. And Tonja has not yet gotten over Chris and wants to have both of them as buffers until she decides who she wants.

Dan’s best bet would be to drop her like a stolen diamond. He is most likely the rebound guy and no real positive will come of this if he stays.

@guy65 #7,9
Get rid of her.
From what you say it will not be easy but get rid of her.
It is the principle of the matter.
I do know that feelings can change but as adults we should be able to let our partners know if we have a lull in attraction for them.
It is not an easy thing to do but cheating is not a mistake. It is a culmination of bad decisions based on lack of disclipline.

And cheating is the one thing that is a deal breaker for me.
No second chances, no getting back together, no nothing.
Unless she has a psychological disorder which gives her lack of impulse control, there is no excuse for it.

And she will keep doing it to you as long as you stay because she interprets sthat all she can do is apologize and be nice and you will accept.

Of course Evan was on point with this one.

By: Victor Lorentzo

Victor Lorentzo — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 02:49:24 +0000

This is a hard situation, you were the rebound guy, she got dumped by the guy she was really in love with and now he wants her back.
Really I think your the winner because she stayed, however she could just keep going back. I would leave if I were you I could see this heading in the direction of heart break.

By: Peter

Peter — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 08:16:53 +0000

I would like to defend Tonja. She was honest when she said that she loved both of you and I believe that it is possible to have more than one relationship at the same time (polyamory). My wife and I have a very good relationship and we want to stay with each other, but since a year she is dating another man. She asked me permission to express her feeling for him. Now, she is sleeping with him for time to time and we are still in love.

By: anonomous

anonomous — Fri, 01 May 2009 06:50:08 +0000

got same problem. keeps telling me shes done with her ex and just today at work (we work together) i saw a pic of him in her car when i walked her to her car. im done with her thats the second time she does this to me and all it does it stress me out and make me cry…………. im done

By: starthrower68

starthrower68 — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 03:03:11 +0000

What I noticed was the fact that girlfriend had broken up with Chris three months earlier. It sounds to me like Dan is/was the rebound guy. If Tonja is that emotional over her Chris, I’m not sure that dating is such a good idea until she dismantles the emotional connection to him. If a person is ever in the unfortunate position of being involved with someone who still has unfinished business with the ex, the best thing to do is take yourself out of the equation.

By: Seductress Within

Seductress Within — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 23:15:09 +0000

The popular reasons for why it’s difficult to extricate oneself from a toxic relationship:

1.) There is history, major stuff you’ve gone through together, been together a long time. You don’t want to walk away and start all over with someone else after you’ve invested so much.

2.) Sometimes it’s easier to put up with the crap you know than find someone else and wonder if the crap will be worse.

3.) It’s too hard to accept that this person doesn’t love you. You feel compelled to make it right so you can feel worthy instead of a fool.

None of these reasons are romantic. The REAL reasons people do this to themselves are fear and insecurity.
To anyone who is in this situation, stop trying to change reality, face your fears and move on. Life it too darn short.

By: Max

Max — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 20:40:09 +0000

It makes me feel so good to realize that I’m not the only one who finds it difficult to extricate themselves from a toxic, bad relationship. Thank you, all!

By: Cheating Girlfriend

Cheating Girlfriend — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 13:51:35 +0000

She thought she could get away with cheating? No way in hell, this is bittersweet revenge.

By: Michael Ejercito

Michael Ejercito — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 17:34:37 +0000

Find someone else. Let her be someone else’s problem.

By: verbosity

verbosity — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 15:44:07 +0000

guy65,

I understand there’s a big story. Love may be blind, but it need not be deaf, dumb and stupid, either. I may sound as though I lack empathy for your position, but I really do. I’m trying to save you certain inevitable pain. You wrote, “. . . i am pretty attached cuz i practically had to win her heart cuz she couldn�t get over the last guy she broke up with…” This may hurt, but she settled for you as a rebound.

Premise – real love has at its core respect for the person you are with. Cheating on someone is the ultimate disrespect. You actually tolerating it only worsens things. Trust me, when she does it again (and she will), she’ll actually blame you for being so stupid to stick around and tolerate her.

There may be a big story, but do yourself a favor and bring it to a swift conclusion. Give your understanding to someone who deserves it. You also may want to consider going to a codependents anonymous meeting. It may help.