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My question is how do you write someone who says nothing in her profile that you can relate to as a member of your sex? Specifically, oftentimes I find profiles of women who only list feminine interests in their profiles. They talk about shopping, liking chick lit, and fashion and nothing else that I as a typical guy am going to have any interest in. I’m sure that many women encounter an equivalent problem too with mens’ profiles. Let’s say that I’m interested in a woman like this, even if she has a badly written profile, how do you advise I begin communicating with her?
Allow me to answer your real letter with a fake letter, okay?
I’m reading your profile right now. I notice you’re interested in mixed martial arts, the stock market, and golf. I notice you don’t really say much about what kind of boyfriend you’d be or how you’d like to build a life together. I don’t see anything that indicates that you’re a great communicator, or that you have a good sense of humor. In short, there’s not much for me to work with here. In fact, there’s very little to give me hope that if we were to sit across a dinner table for two hours, we would have anything in common to discuss.
What do you have to say to that?
Why the hell would you want to go out with a woman who has absolutely nothing in common with you and nothing interesting to say?
I don’t know about you, John, but if I got that question from Mary, I’d be thinking: “Then why would you consider writing to me at all?! If you’re thinking of going out with me despite the fact that I didn’t say anything interesting, that must mean that you’re solely writing because you think I’m cute or because you think I’m rich. And frankly, I don’t want to go out with anyone who wants me exclusively for those reasons.”
I may be in the minority on that one, but that’s how I truly feel.
So allow me to ask you, point-blank, John: Why the hell would you want to go out with a woman who has absolutely nothing in common with you and nothing interesting to say?
Because she’s pretty?
Yeah, that and $.75 will buy you a Snickers bar.
I’m not picking on you, my friend – no more than I pick on all of my clients who do the same exact thing.
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