Even if I gave her attention and affection and showed my interest why would she even be interested. Especially when it may be uncertain when I will get back on my feet.

I mean what am I going to do, clean her home, wash her car, empty her trash, and take care of her grounds in exchange for her paying for dates?

I know it sounds stupid but as open minded as I am that work ethic I was taught as a kid still is in effect.  I’d just feel so worthless even if the job loss was not my fault.

Sounds like this was a good guy, trying to do the best  he could.  Interesting thing about men that you probably have already realized.  Their jobs/careers are often their  mission in life, their passion (not always, but usually).  Not to mention it indicates their ability to provide.  When this takes a hit, their masculinity takes a hit.  Obviously everyone is different and every situation is different, so I’m sure it affects men in different ways and some are able to ‘handle’ it better than others.

Although I’m sure you were very disappointed and hurt, I think he did the mature/good character thing in letting you go (although a phone call would have been nice!).  You weren’t giving him ANY pressure and was very understanding, but bottom line, a relationship does take focus and energy.  I’m sure he wanted to do his best in that with you, and knew he couldn’t with this career change to work out.

Finally, men generally can’t multitask like women can, especially when it’s big things like career.  They tend to have to devote their attention to one thing (and a big one at that, don’t want to minimize it) before they feel like they have that handled and can relax a little to devote a part of their resources (time, attention, energy) elsewhere.

I agree with you that at the beginning of a relationship, when things are fragile already, unemployment can be a deal breaker.

Sounds like you guys left the budding relationship on good terms (which is a good reason to leave relationships in a positive way as best as possible), who knows what the future holds? 

During our several months together, he went on many interviews, but had no luck finding something.  While this didn’t bother me, he went from wanting a marriage-bound relationship with me to not breaking up over email, saying that he couldn’t commit his energy to a relationship, even though I was understanding and not pressuring him.

I do think that over time, unemployment can become a serious issue that undermines whatever you might be building together. 

For me, responsibility, self-reliance, and a healthy skepticism about getting into a situation in which someone could take you for a financial ride are the values demonstrated by living alone. Others have different arguments – no less valid given their own experiences, but not something that is going to affect my interpretation.

My boyfriend has $150K in student loan and consumer debt. We rent a tiny apartment because that’s all we can afford. I redirected my entire career for my relationship and put 15K miles on my car visiting him prior to moving in with him – spending significant amounts of time and money that he never reciprocated because he couldn’t afford to. If I were in it for money, I’d be in it with someone else. But instead, I don’t just stay, I’m blissfully happy, because we share the same values.

Love is not about money, roomates, looks, and $#!+ like that.

Women say that men are terrible, liars, only interested in physical beauty. Yes it’s mostly true. They conveniently not mention, however, that they are not 100% right 100% saintly.

Women look for money, trophies, status enhancers… if not they always date bad boys, rock guitarists… but love???

HAHAHAHAHAHA. The PROOF is they do NOT look for REAL LOVE.

I’ve never seen a rich man alone. All the musicians I met had girlfriends. I’ve seen great guys being tricked or ignored by women ’cause they are not hot or in fashion. Yet women still paint themselves as the victims. BS.

And if the ladies (who are about to go on the defensive since I questioned their unquestionable perfection and godliness) wonder… I’ve dated overweight women and I fell in love with a woman with 3 kids who would not consider me.

I could very well be a Mr. Mom and take the place women previously had and I’m willing, but women still expect us to pay everything and do everything.
I realized being alone is best. I haven’t found any really good women (includes the overweights, who actually still expect Brad Pitt to come into the door and take them). It’s always about them and them and gimme gimme gimme. Women feel like they are Gods and should never ever be questioned because they are always 100% right.

I do not consider myself a loser. Loser is a man who wastes money, time, and feelings on a woman incapable of knowing what love is, and that’s most of them.

Signed,
Unemployed with two degrees and honors who believed all that crap about women seeking ” honesty’ and “sincerity”.

And my SHARE of the rent is $313.
.-= Honey´s last blog ..Get Fit and Improve Your Dating Prospects =-.

Read #46 & #47. They live in the Washington D.C. Area like I do. Single bedroom apartments start about $1000 a month in any neighborhood that is not high crime or on the periphery of the DC Metro area. Rents are similar or more expensive in Philadelphia, Baltimore, NYC.

Again, your situation is not everybody else’s situation.