Comments on: How Long Should I Wait for Him to Commit to Me? http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-long-should-i-wait-for-him-to-commit-to-me/ Wed, 17 Mar 2010 21:26:40 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: attractologydatingadvice http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-long-should-i-wait-for-him-to-commit-to-me/comment-page-2/#comment-39838 attractologydatingadvice Sun, 09 Aug 2009 05:59:28 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-long-should-i-wait-for-him-to-commit-to-me/#comment-39838 Your advice is spot on. I'm interested in seeing what Jennifer decided .-= attractologydatingadvice´s last blog ....<a href="http://www.attractology.com/2009/08/tongue/" rel="nofollow">Too Much Tongue?</a> =-. Your advice is spot on. I’m interested in seeing what Jennifer decided
.-= attractologydatingadvice´s last blog ….Too Much Tongue? =-.

]]> By: Been There 2 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-long-should-i-wait-for-him-to-commit-to-me/comment-page-2/#comment-20077 Been There 2 Tue, 06 Jan 2009 02:51:58 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-long-should-i-wait-for-him-to-commit-to-me/#comment-20077 I was in the same exact boat a month ago. I had been with my boyfriend for exactly the same amount of time (3 months), but he wouldn't call me and was still advertising on a dating site. Exact same scenerio. I really hate to say this, but I don't think he's the guy for you. I didn't want to think this true and tried as hard as I could to hold on, but in the end he wasn't ready for a committment. He wanted me...but he, just as you stated your man said, wanted to still have "friends" on these dating sites. Let's be real, nobody is looking for "friends" on dating sites. If he wanted friends he'd either find them in real life or if he was that desperate he'd join a forum based on an interest of his. All I know is I don't want you to go down the same path I did and be hurt the way I felt. In the end, he told me he wanted to be open which I interpreted as I'm the main girl...and he can sleep with other girls on the side. Not ok. Literally a month after our break up, I found another guy who cares abuout me and is willing to make an effort to call, see me as often as possible, and work on us instead of "him". It's so much better this way and much less stressful. I hope you find the same as me. A guy who is ready and willing will not be thinking of other girls period and this issue will not come up. I was in the same exact boat a month ago. I had been with my boyfriend for exactly the same amount of time (3 months), but he wouldn’t call me and was still advertising on a dating site. Exact same scenerio.

I really hate to say this, but I don’t think he’s the guy for you. I didn’t want to think this true and tried as hard as I could to hold on, but in the end he wasn’t ready for a committment. He wanted me…but he, just as you stated your man said, wanted to still have “friends” on these dating sites. Let’s be real, nobody is looking for “friends” on dating sites. If he wanted friends he’d either find them in real life or if he was that desperate he’d join a forum based on an interest of his.

All I know is I don’t want you to go down the same path I did and be hurt the way I felt. In the end, he told me he wanted to be open which I interpreted as I’m the main girl…and he can sleep with other girls on the side. Not ok.

Literally a month after our break up, I found another guy who cares abuout me and is willing to make an effort to call, see me as often as possible, and work on us instead of “him”. It’s so much better this way and much less stressful. I hope you find the same as me. A guy who is ready and willing will not be thinking of other girls period and this issue will not come up.

]]> By: Jennifer http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-long-should-i-wait-for-him-to-commit-to-me/comment-page-1/#comment-15350 Jennifer Tue, 07 Oct 2008 23:15:31 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-long-should-i-wait-for-him-to-commit-to-me/#comment-15350 Hi Evan, I have to say that you were spot on with your advice to me, which I can clearly see now, and I should have 'walked' at that time. Unfortunately, when I got your advice on the blog, I was still delusional, thinking that things would eventually 'change' and he would see what an 'idiot' HE was being...all the cliche'd 'answers' that, if one of my friends were telling me this, I would be all over her to 'dump the dude!' Unfortunately, the idiot was ME, and why I didn't take your prescription for handling my situation right away is still beyond me. Five more months passed, along with the requisite frustration, and then I finally got it. It hit me like a bolt of lightning, and I told him to get lost. It felt VERY freeing to finally kick him to the curb...I just wished I would have 'gotten it' months ago! So..Thank You Evan! I just wanted you to know that your great advice - even through the haze of dating this guy - stuck in the back of my mind and probably saved me a lot more heartache and time in a losing situation. Jennifer Hi Evan,

I have to say that you were spot on with your advice to me, which I can clearly see now, and I should have ‘walked’ at that time. Unfortunately, when I got your advice on the blog, I was still delusional, thinking that things would eventually ‘change’ and he would see what an ‘idiot’ HE was being…all the cliche’d ‘answers’ that, if one of my friends were telling me this, I would be all over her to ‘dump the dude!’

Unfortunately, the idiot was ME, and why I didn’t take your prescription for handling my situation right away is still beyond me. Five more months passed, along with the requisite frustration, and then I finally got it. It hit me like a bolt of lightning, and I told him to get lost. It felt VERY freeing to finally kick him to the curb…I just wished I would have ‘gotten it’ months ago!

So..Thank You Evan! I just wanted you to know that your great advice – even through the haze of dating this guy – stuck in the back of my mind and probably saved me a lot more heartache and time in a losing situation.

Jennifer

]]> By: Rachel http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-long-should-i-wait-for-him-to-commit-to-me/comment-page-1/#comment-8877 Rachel Sun, 08 Jun 2008 05:59:05 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-long-should-i-wait-for-him-to-commit-to-me/#comment-8877 EMANCIPATE YOURSELF, LADY. Hey, if one of your girlfriends told you about the same kind of situation, what would you be telling her? Give yourself the same advice. Of course, it's easier when you can step back and take an objective stance. But look at what everyone is saying here. Why are you giving away your power and letting him call the shots? This guy is clearly a loser, and you can do better. EMANCIPATE YOURSELF, LADY. Hey, if one of your girlfriends told you about the same kind of situation, what would you be telling her? Give yourself the same advice. Of course, it’s easier when you can step back and take an objective stance. But look at what everyone is saying here. Why are you giving away your power and letting him call the shots? This guy is clearly a loser, and you can do better.

]]> By: Tara http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-long-should-i-wait-for-him-to-commit-to-me/comment-page-1/#comment-8613 Tara Sun, 01 Jun 2008 01:23:49 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-long-should-i-wait-for-him-to-commit-to-me/#comment-8613 I'd be interested in what Jennifer ended-up deciding... I’d be interested in what Jennifer ended-up deciding…

]]> By: Lindsey http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-long-should-i-wait-for-him-to-commit-to-me/comment-page-1/#comment-8550 Lindsey Thu, 29 May 2008 21:36:51 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-long-should-i-wait-for-him-to-commit-to-me/#comment-8550 Thanks Selena, you were right. I actually did thank him for being honest with me. Actually I saw the red flags 3 months ago, however, I kept thinking maybe I was just being too sensitive, he was just too busy at work. Now at least I won't have to make any more guesses, kind of a relief actually. I am sure I will feel better eventually. Time heals everything. Thanks Selena, you were right. I actually did thank him for being honest with me. Actually I saw the red flags 3 months ago, however, I kept thinking maybe I was just being too sensitive, he was just too busy at work. Now at least I won’t have to make any more guesses, kind of a relief actually.

I am sure I will feel better eventually. Time heals everything.

]]> By: Selena http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-long-should-i-wait-for-him-to-commit-to-me/comment-page-1/#comment-8540 Selena Thu, 29 May 2008 17:29:48 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-long-should-i-wait-for-him-to-commit-to-me/#comment-8540 I'm sorry you are hurting Lindsey, I hope you start feeling better very soon. But you are quite right that you don't need someone who doesn't care about you in your life. And it's actually a good thing this guy was honest enough to tell you if you wanted more you should look for someone else. Think about how much more time you would have wasted had you gone through with "giving him more time". I suspect you would have been even more disappointed than you are right now. 6 mos. was indeed enough. I’m sorry you are hurting Lindsey, I hope you start feeling better very soon. But you are quite right that you don’t need someone who doesn’t care about you in your life. And it’s actually a good thing this guy was honest enough to tell you if you wanted more you should look for someone else. Think about how much more time you would have wasted had you gone through with “giving him more time”. I suspect you would have been even more disappointed than you are right now. 6 mos. was indeed enough.

]]> By: Lindsey http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-long-should-i-wait-for-him-to-commit-to-me/comment-page-1/#comment-8526 Lindsey Thu, 29 May 2008 06:26:52 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-long-should-i-wait-for-him-to-commit-to-me/#comment-8526 Thanks, Selena! I broke up with him today. This week is a slow week for him. I suggested to go to a Jazz club tonight, which used to be one of the activities we both like to do. However, he made it clearly to me that he doesn't want to hang out with me during the week. He will only see me during the weekend. He told me if I want more, I should look for someone else. Therefore I told him I am done with him. I am heart broken now, however, I am not going to look back. I don't need someone who doesn't care about me in my life. Thanks, Selena!

I broke up with him today. This week is a slow week for him. I suggested to go to a Jazz club tonight, which used to be one of the activities we both like to do. However, he made it clearly to me that he doesn’t want to hang out with me during the week. He will only see me during the weekend. He told me if I want more, I should look for someone else. Therefore I told him I am done with him.

I am heart broken now, however, I am not going to look back. I don’t need someone who doesn’t care about me in my life.

]]> By: Selena http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-long-should-i-wait-for-him-to-commit-to-me/comment-page-1/#comment-8490 Selena Wed, 28 May 2008 14:24:31 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-long-should-i-wait-for-him-to-commit-to-me/#comment-8490 Linsey, You have been dating a man who is content just to see you casually. He told you after 3 mos. he hadn't fallen for you and another 3 mos. hasn't changed that. In fact, it would appear he's made even less effort to "date" you than before. Not taking you on vaction with him? Seems rather obvious he does not consider you his girlfriend. You don't need to give him any more time. Move on to someone who really IS interested in you and leave this guy to his video games. Linsey,
You have been dating a man who is content just to see you casually. He told you after 3 mos. he hadn’t fallen for you and another 3 mos. hasn’t changed that. In fact, it would appear he’s made even less effort to “date” you than before. Not taking you on vaction with him? Seems rather obvious he does not consider you his girlfriend.

You don’t need to give him any more time. Move on to someone who really IS interested in you and leave this guy to his video games.

]]> By: Lindsey http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-long-should-i-wait-for-him-to-commit-to-me/comment-page-1/#comment-8470 Lindsey Wed, 28 May 2008 02:18:57 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/how-long-should-i-wait-for-him-to-commit-to-me/#comment-8470 Thanks for the post! I am glad to know that I am not alone in this kind of situation. I am dating a guy for 6 months now. I really like him. He is a workaholic and he put his job in front of everything. I only see him like once per week which I don’t really mind because I know job is his priority. When we were dating for 3 months, he told me he liked me but he didn’t fall for me. He told me normally he fall for someone pretty fast. I told him it may take time because I didn’t fall for him at that time as well. Therefore we continue dating. Now, 6 months later, I don’t see any improvement. He still calls me almost every day but normally we only talk for 5 minutes because he is tired after work. He only gets one day off per week. In the past 2 months, he told me he works too much and all he wants to do on his day off is stay home and play video game or watch movie. Therefore, normally we just hang out at his home and watch movie. He will go out with me only if I ask him to. He doesn’t make plan and ask me to do stuff outside of his apartment anymore. Yesterday, he told me he is going to Italy this summer for vacation but he didn’t invite me to go with him, even I mentioned to him before that Italy is one of the countries I want to visit. He also told me some of his future plans; however, I am not included in his plans. It makes me think he may never fall for me. Both of us are in our late twenties. He always tell me how much he likes to live by himself and how much he enjoy his alone time at home. At this point of my life, I feel like I want a family but he doesn’t seem like he wants to settle down, at least not with me. Is 6 months long enough or should I give him a little bit more time? I don’t want to misjudge him and regret in the future. Thanks for the post! I am glad to know that I am not alone in this kind of situation.

I am dating a guy for 6 months now. I really like him. He is a workaholic and he put his job in front of everything. I only see him like once per week which I don’t really mind because I know job is his priority. When we were dating for 3 months, he told me he liked me but he didn’t fall for me. He told me normally he fall for someone pretty fast. I told him it may take time because I didn’t fall for him at that time as well. Therefore we continue dating.
Now, 6 months later, I don’t see any improvement. He still calls me almost every day but normally we only talk for 5 minutes because he is tired after work. He only gets one day off per week. In the past 2 months, he told me he works too much and all he wants to do on his day off is stay home and play video game or watch movie. Therefore, normally we just hang out at his home and watch movie. He will go out with me only if I ask him to. He doesn’t make plan and ask me to do stuff outside of his apartment anymore.

Yesterday, he told me he is going to Italy this summer for vacation but he didn’t invite me to go with him, even I mentioned to him before that Italy is one of the countries I want to visit. He also told me some of his future plans; however, I am not included in his plans. It makes me think he may never fall for me.

Both of us are in our late twenties. He always tell me how much he likes to live by himself and how much he enjoy his alone time at home. At this point of my life, I feel like I want a family but he doesn’t seem like he wants to settle down, at least not with me.

Is 6 months long enough or should I give him a little bit more time? I don’t want to misjudge him and regret in the future.

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