How Many Emails Do The Most Attractive Women Get Online?
In preparation for my free teleclass next Tuesday, I’m going to be asking two new online questions each day and would greatly appreciate your responses. With your participation, I think we can all learn something fundamental about online dating. So here’s my first question:
How many emails do you think the most attractive women in their 20’s and 30’s get per a week on a major dating site?
Please respond in the comments below.
Don’t forget to register for my free teleclass, The Top 5 Mistakes You’re Making Online and How to Understand the Opposite Sex Online, on Tuesday, October 28th at 9pmEST/6pmPST.
http://www.findingtheoneonline.com/teleseminar/
Talk to you soon!
Evan
P.S. Don’t worry – our regular Thursday reader questions will still be answered as long as I’m in town.
Related Posts:
- Are the People That You Want To Meet Online More Physically Attractive Than You Are?
- What Do Women Want from the Men who Email Them?
- What Percentage of Your Online Dates Lied About Their Age, Height, Weight or Photo?
- What Percent of People Respond to Your Initial Emails on Match.com?
- How Many Dates Are You Emailing At a Given Time?
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43 Comments »Filed Under Online Dating Tips & Advice, Uncategorized
Adi 1
first depends from the profile, but I think up to ten per week
Shira 2
I think they get 2 to 3 e-mails per day.
Cindy 3
I am a 40 something, attractive woman and I probably get an average of 20-25 new emails/winks from men on a weekly basis. So, I imagine the pool for the younger MOST attractive women is much higher, possibly 50-60 hits per week! For those I’m not interested in for whatever reason (usually distance) I try to be considerate by responding and saying no, thank you. And I actually get a thank you back for acknowledging them. I would say that is the #1 complaint I hear from men, that they don’t get any response from the emails they send out. I try to explain to them that women get so many more emails and sometimes it’s difficult to respond to everyone.
Evan Marc Katz 4
I know I’m a guy, but try higher. A lot higher…
April 5
When I first started online dating, I was in my late thirties, and even I usually got about 10 emails a day. So I can only imagine that a hot 26-year-old would get three times as many.
happy girl 6
I am not in my 30′s but 40′s and I get at least 6 to 10 a day not really emails but winks and emails..sometimes more
Lori 7
I’d say between 10 and 15 a day based on looks alone. More if she has an interesting profile…
happy girl 8
I agree with Cindy..most men complain that women don’t even bother to respond. I have tried to email back a response as much as I can and have had very nice emails back thanking me and letting me know that they really appreciate my email. It is disheartning for men as well as it would be for women if there is not even a polite email back. I think we forget that behind that profile and photo posted ( or sometimes not a photo) is a person.
Sheryl 9
I’d say about 100 a week plus winks.
Joe 10
Somewhat off-topic, but I don’t think it’s necessary to respond to every wink/icebreaker/whatever if you’re getting tons of contacts. If you’re not worth someone’s time to craft a nicely written personal note–even a short one–why should you spend your time even responding to him/her with a canned thanks-but-no-thanks response?
Terri 11
If she is hot on a major site like Match.com I am guessing 10-20 a day initially. Once they determine she has been there awhile it would back off a bit. I get 10 a day when I am perceived as the new girl in the room and I am an attractive (not hot) 54 year old!
Elli 12
Hi,
I’m 56, have pics posted with my face only (personal preference, although I’m in shape). When I first join a website (JDate, Yahoo Personals, POF, eHarmony) I have 50-100 emails in the first week. After that it stays that way for a couple months. When it dwindles down, I still get 5-10 per week. About half of those emails are from men between 25-45 years of age (and I am NOT interested in very young men). I would think that a good looking woman in her 20′s would need a personal secretary to handle the influx of emails!
$Francisco 13
Seventy-five or more per week.
outsidethebellcurve 14
I’m a guy, but I tried an interesting test….
I put up a pretty crappy profile… a la “I love to hang out, goto bars, museums, and restaurants, but I’m just as happy sitting at watching watching netflix.” … then, I went to google images, and found a picture of a hot girl. I attached the above-mentioned profile with the picture of the hot girl, and waited….
Within the first day, I had been written to by more than 70 guys. By the end of the week, almost 300. So, that’s my guess: between 250-300.
JB 15
My “hottie” female recon profile got about 85 in the first week. She’s 43,divorced,no kids and about an “8″ or “9″. I can’t believe the amount of idiots that still “wink” …..LOL You ladies are right,there’s an endless amount of dorks,dweebs,and doofus’s out there !!…LOL Unless you ARE a model most women won’t respond to a wink. Winks should be banned from all pay sites as well as free profiles. On Plenty Of Fish it doesn’t matter obviously. In 10 years of online dating I’ve never once used a wink.
Norman 16
If she’s new to the site, probably 50-100 a day for the first week or two, then it should taper off to something a little more manageable. I’ve known women who had to hide their profiles after the flood of message they initially received because they felt so overwhelmed.
JuJu 17
Depends on the site (and I never used a paid one other than for a free intro). Memorably, on Craigslist I was getting several e-mails per minute (I did put up my pics in the ad), but that’s probably common on that site.
JuJu 18
I should add, however, that my wording filtered out most (in terms of intellect).
Zann 19
I think it totally depends on what dating site is being used. Evan, I’ve heard you mention in other posts that young, “hot” women (& I assume we’re talking about physical attributes here)can get hundreds of contacts a week. So, I’ll guess 250. To be honest, I’m 55 and consider myself attractive, young-looking, and physically fit, but the most frequent response I get from men who write me is that they loved my writing in my profile. I’ve been on a 3-month break from online dating, but before that was on Singlesnet and Salon Personals. The norm for Singlesnet would be around 8-10 contacts a day, although many of them were from guys in other states or countries, inappropriate age range. The Salon site tends to be extremely liberal, which I like, but also tends to attract a rather non-mainstream male, and contacts from that site are pretty limited. It goes in spurts and varies pretty dramatically — I’d get a couple a day, but sometimes no contacts at all for weeks, just “views.”
Doll 20
My estimate would be in excess of over 100, I too, consider myself an average looking woman. When I have been on a dating site, I got in excess of that number per week. By the way I’m 54, I can only imagine there are even more in the dating pool between 20-30, with more looking for someone in that age bracket.
Linda 21
Interesting question. I made a mistake when signing up for a free trial at True.com. When it was time to upload a photo, I clicked on something to see what it was and the photo uploaded and I was unable to delete it. The photo was a picture of my friend’s secretary. She received over 100 messages a day. I thought “wow, what a great site!’ I deleted all of the messages, contacted the service and changed the name on the profile and replaced the photo with mine. To date, I have had not one response.
I’m sure you’re all thinking I’m a real dog, right? That’s not true, I notice attention from men I pass on the street and they will sometimes stop me and tell me I’m gorgeous, or I look great.
A difference is that her picture was a close up of her face and mine are more distant pictures.
sara 22
From my experience:
I’ve been on and off multiple online dating website from the age of 28-32. I think I’m attractive, and I write a well-written and thorough dating profile. When you first sign up on a dating website, there’s “the new girl” syndrome. The first month or so I would easily receive 40-50 winks or emails per week. After that, the number dwindeled to perhaps 10 per week.
A-L 23
What’s the population of the town the girl is posting in? I bet a girl in a major metropolitan area (L.A., Chicago, Houston, Philadelphia, etc) is going to get a much bigger response than someone in mid-sized towns (Tampa, Kansas City, Richmond), and girls in mid-sized towns are going to get a lot more than girls in rural areas. Plus, as others have mentioned, there’s the new girl factor to consider.
So here are my sets of guesses:
New hot girl in big metropolis: 300
New hot girl in mid-sized city: 150
New hot girl in rural area: 50
Old hot girl in big metropolis: 100
Old hot girl in mid-sized city: 30
Old hot girl in rural area: 10
(Old being defined as not new to the site)
A-L 24
I’m amending my previous post:
New hot girl in big metropolis: 500
Hot Alpha Female 25
When I was on RSVP an Australian Dating site I was probably got about 40-50 emails a week.
It was ridiculous.
And because there were so many, I was extremely selective of the people who i responded to and their emails had to REALLY stand out and be something speical … for me to even read the whole thing let alone reply.
Hope this helps
Hot Alpha Female
Hot Alpha Female 26
Evan.
I got over 500 responses in 2 months. So thats like 40-50 emails a week.
That is quite a lot to handle. So it was important that the emails I replied to really JUMPED out from the crowd.
Emails that started went along the lines of “Hi how are you, tell me about yourself” – were simply overlooked.
Hope this helps
Hot Alpha Female
Elle 27
I think they get 10 emails per week.
Macy 28
I’m a fairly attractive 50 something woman. When I put new pictures on Match, I receive 10-20 e-mails plus winks a day for the first 5-6 weeks. I would average 350-400 e-mails (but that is counting e-mailing back and forth with some of the guys) a month, for years. I live in a fairly big city, but not anywhere near the size of Atlanta. I imagine a much younger, attractive woman in a large city could average 50+ e-mails/winks a day.
Evan Marc Katz 29
Okay, guys, what did you learn here today? It’s a lot MORE competitive than you even knew.
That’s why you should register for my free teleclass next Tuesday:
http://www.findingtheoneonline.com/teleseminar/
Oh, and for the women who generously offered their own stories, your takeaway should be that if you want to stem the tide of unwanted unsolicited emails, you should take down your photo and only contact the men who interest YOU!
Lance 30
Wanted to add my 2c. I know an attractive girl in Boston who got between 100-200 per week when she was doing match. I also know a younger chick, age 24, who got 500 in 48 hours when she posted in the Berkeley area. She went on exactly two dates from those 500 and then took down her profile because it was too much to keep up with.
Yeah, it’s competitive. It’s kinda almost exactly like going to a BAR, where the hottest chicks get the most guys hitting on them. With both avenues, you can give yourself advantages with good game.
As a guy who’s done the match thing for years, I’ve received less than a dozen, unsolicited emails total, where every single one of the emailers were not even close to being hot. I guess I’m not tall enough!
Eden 31
So I would say I’m an averagly attractive female, currently 33 years old and used online dating sites when I was 30-32 (off and on)… eharmony (trial only), POF and Yahoo… I’d have to agree with some of the other comments, at first there would be a big influx of emails (8-10+ per day) and then after a short time it would die down to 5 or so a day.. sometimes more, sometimes less. Out of all those emails (initial time period and later on) there was still a serious amount of weeding out to be done, separating the serious from the ‘I just want to cyber’ or ‘I just want to get laid’.
My other point is that it really does matter what you say in your profile. My first profiles didn’t get much response… I gave out too much detail of what I wanted (and didn’t want) too soon. Once I changed it to a more upbeat, lighthearted profile I received many many more responses than I had originally… same picture and all.. just new words to read.
I met my current boyfriend on POF and it’s been 8 months so far.. and all signs point to many more!
Eden 32
after scanning more comments… I’ll add that I’m not from a medium/large area in Oregon… Had I lived in Portland I think the amount of emails would have been larger… but I wasn’t interested in relocating so small town Oregon was it!
JB 33
Lance ….it’s nothing like going to a bar !!!!!
Believe me and YOU know this….When a hot chick walks into a bar she’s not besieged by 500 men in the first hour hitting on her …lol
They’re all scared to death to approach her for the most part except the PUA’s with game and no fear. Most of the men on online dating sites would never approach most of the women they email & wink at online if they ever saw them in public. Why ??? Fear of public rejection. Noone including most women fear “online rejection” although I know it hurts women a lot more than men to get a rejection email from someone they contacted first. Maybe Evan could tell us the reason why ??
Evan Marc Katz 34
They’re not used to rejection the way men are. Guys write to fifty women online to get two responses. Women often quit once five guys have ignored them. Not ALL of them, but they are more sensitive to rejection than men – largely because they’re not often in the position to be rejected…
Adrienne Lewis 35
I am almost 34. I would rate myself between a 7 or 8 out of 10 and that is being dead honest with myself. I get between 6-10 emails a day. I used to be blond and I got more then, like maybe 20 a day and I was “favorited” 170 times. As a brunette I am favorited 70 times but the quality of people sending them is higher for some reason.
Really, so much is due to marketing – am interesting profile with great yet real photos.
Kenley 36
Based on the previous posts I have read, it seems the most attractive women can get between 200 and 500 emails a week.
I would actually be curious to know why really attractive women go on-line in the first place. More than one man on this blog has said that attractive women don’t need to go online because they get hit on all the time and they can have boyfriends whenever they want. So, I wonder what motivates them to search at Match or eHarmony.
Cilla 37
I’m a woman in her mid-40′s who just ended a relationship and is available again. Maybe a 7-8 in looks, profile well written, almost an empty nester, not looking for more children, etc. I’m not really ready to date yet (need some decompression time), but I dread putting my profile back up when I am ready. I was getting 10 or so emails and a handful of winks almost every day (2 sites). 99.9% of these were from men who were so woefully inappropriate for me I had to laugh out loud. I even composed a form letter, because handling all of this was getting to be like a second job. I didn’t feel the need to respond to every contact, but I did make an effort if the fellow took the time to craft a nice letter reflecting that he had actually read and thought about my profile. One man wrote me a one-sentence introduction and followed up with a second email saying, “I think you’re a dirt ball” because I hadn’t written back to him! Some guys would wink or email multiple times in one month. I’m still getting the odd email or text from a couple of guys with whom I exchanged personal information but to whom I made it clear were not going to work out as romantic partners. I understand the benefit of persistence, but enough is enough already. I feel like every successive profile I put up gets snottier and snottier, just trying to weed out the mismatches. I myself would only write to a couple of men in the space of a month. I know it reduced my odds, but I wasn’t interested in corresponding with anyone whose profile didn’t resonate with me right away. If they rejected me, so be it–I’d wait a while and look for another guy or two who met my rather strict criteria.
JuJu 38
Cilla,
that happened to me too (I am referring to the “snottier and snottier” comment) – the sentiment becomes a bit difficult to avoid after a while of online dating.
The only way to get any meaningful results, though, is to write an entirely positive profile, not mention any physical characteristics you are looking for in a mate at all, and then just weed out the undesirables on your own. And I can actually tell from the first sentence whether the rest is worth reading (and especially so from telephone conversations – the way a man constructs his sentences and his pronunciation and overall vocabulary immediately tell whether it’s someone I’d consider associating with).
As I mentioned above, the literary style I chose served as quite an effective filter – I got responses from some pretty high quality individuals, and the more primitive folk didn’t even bother. Also, apparently the way I wrote commanded respect: an acquaintance complained about receiving pics of penises, and I never even knew this sort of thing occurred.
JuJu 39
Oh, and the worst part, Cilla, is that no matter how many of those things you do NOT want in a mate you list in your profile, the men who fit those criteria will still write to you. So, it’s just an unproductive strategy.
JuJu 40
That’s not to mention that negativity is usually a turn-off (just imagine seeing a profile like that written by a man – would it appeal to you? because I have, and they really didn’t).
Sorry for this run-on posting =), I keep forgetting the things I wanted to say.
Anyway, Evan has stated all this before, which is not to say I am plagiarizing here – I just arrived at the same conclusions after my own extensive experience with internet dating.
moonsical 41
I’ve been I’net dating for years, with no success. I’m sure I’m doing it all wrong, though I’ve crafted many profiles, and many kinds of profiles. I’ve now ripened to the age of 42. I have no idea why a hot woman in her 20′s would need the Internet; I never did. But being older and the dating pool being more limited it seems a tool for a certain demographic who are no longer in college with their peers, hanging out in large gangs or in bars and clubs. So, my question is: how many e-mails should a reasonably attractive woman in her early 40′s expect? Sorry I feel no pity for hot women in their twenties! Please.
Evan Marc Katz 42
Friends,
NEVER put what you DON’T want in a profile. As you’ve noticed, it doesn’t scare away the wrong guys – and it very well could turn off the right guys. Just be flattered that you get the attention of so many inappropriate men – because 90% of men, by your standards, are always going to be inappropriate…
More free insights on guys at:
http://www.findingtheoneonline.com/teleseminar/
See you there!
E
Beccy 43
It is alot to keep up with and then you see the guys who are always on there.. and you wonder what the heck always on there.. players.. pigs and girls should be very careful!!! I have to hide my profile as many girls do when they keep looking.. It is sick!