As a single mother, I can only speak for myself and say that I think that I’m happier as a single parent rather than being single and childless. Of course, my life would be a lot different right now — and likely it would be easier to date — but I’m honestly very thankful that I have children. For the most part they are a joy. As they grow up, it’s cool to watch their friendship grow and see how our family develops as a single parent unit. It’s fun and never boring!

We are highly social animals and we need to be ‘stroked’. The perceived wisdom is that we do not need another person to make us complete. I don’t think I agree, if the alternative is social isolation.

I was married to a man who came from an extremely wealthy family and I can tell you right now, that money does not buy happiness at all. All it did was pay for my exes five, yes five, maybe six now, rehabs which did him no good. When I got out, I was broke and stuck with a bunch of debt he would not pay off. I have paid most of it off now and am very happy and proud of myself that I did it, and went on alone, and have been alone for six years.

Money will never buy happiness because happiness is a choice. You can either choose to be miserable, or you can choose to be happy and live your life. I’ve chosen to live my life, and I’ve never regretted that choice. I will be happy, whether I end up getting married again or stay single forever. Marital status doesn’t have anything to do with it.

About the other point that you and Stella 16 bring up, about couples leaving single people out: hub and I have certainly tried to keep our part in inviting our single and non-dating friends at work and elsewhere, but usually it’s worked out that they come alone. Once when we invited two single friends, they accused us (lightheartedly) of trying to set them up, though we had no such intention. Other times, when it’s bigger groups with other couples and families, we never know if single people feel left out.

“This place is the province of Quebec. The French language spoken here is no guarantee for romance. Couples are practical, and lovers treasure their individuality. Quebec has become one of the least marrying places in the world, thanks to the institution known as “de facto spouses,” But now, thanks to a bizarre legal case entangling a Quebec billionaire and his de facto spouse , the freedom to un-marry is under threat. More than 1 million Quebecois in this kind of relationship may soon be automatically married by the state, against their will.”
http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2012/05/quebec_s_de_facto_spouses_the_bizarre_legal_case_that_could_force_1_2_million_canadians_to_be_married_against_their_will_.html

I think coupling up makes a lot of people selfish and less interested in the outside world. I think relationships are a wonderful thing– but a lot of people would have better relationships if they dedicated more time to building their own lives and friendships that have nothing to do with coupled life.

I can’t tell you how many friends I was so loyal to when I had a bf and they were single, disappeared on me when the tables were turned. Each time I meet a cool new girl who could be a great friend I pray that she’s single; I live in dread of my remaining single friends actually finding someone. Obviously I want to be happy for people, but sadly the way society is, i feel like weddings are more a cause for mourning than celebrating.

I’d have to disagree with you that single women with children are happier than those without, at least from my own personal observation. The pressures and demands on single women with children are far greater, both financially and emotionally. My single friends with kids also have a lot more trouble dating, because so many men don’t want to take on the responsibilities of their children, especially those who don’t have involved fathers.

Also, with something like 50% of the US population single, there really isn’t any reason to feel stigmatized or isolated. I’m not saying that singles shouldn’t feel the need to find a partner, but consider friendships with those outside your age range or typical social group as well.

maria, I have no doubt that this is true, but also that it is changing, for two main reasons: 1 – greater equality of the sexes at both work and home, and 2 – fewer couples deciding to have children.

Children are a major factor in determining happiness, for the most part in a negative way. The Economist ran a double article a year and a half ago about how raising children significantly depresses the happiness of individuals compared with matched childless individuals. That could explain part of what you read, maria – traditionally, women have done most of the childrearing, which can be a very frustrating experience.

But I think there’s another side to it that hadn’t been explored in that article, which gets to what helene was saying in #7. I think single women with children may be happier than single women without, because they have the company that all humans crave (as several people have pointed out here). Then the frustrations of parenthood are balanced with the fact that they keep you company and put you in the company of other parents.

Personally, the happiest years of my life were when my husband and I were married without children. Am I blaming kids in general for causing unhappiness? No. I think that one major flaw in how our society has evolved is to take away the large support network families used to have in raising children together. A single parent or even a couple doing all the childrearing is extremely stressful. When you do it as part of a network, even if it’s overall the same number of adults and kids, the work becomes not only easier, but enjoyable. We don’t have that commonly in the US anymore, and it’s a shame. I think this video could have considered the monetary value of social support in general, not just through one person.