I suppose you can look at it as what she wants vs what I want, but I think if you did you’d be missing the point. There is a third element here and that is the relationship. What is good for the relationship, what is good for *any* relationship, is connection, communication, togetherness, intimacy. I disagree that this is just about her whims and desires. I think she was standing up for the relationship.

I have a policy (now) when I am in a relationship, that if something is for the good of the relationship, if it serves the above goals, the answer is always yes. This is my way of putting the other person first, and building something bigger than myself. So if my boyfriend tries to have sex with me, even though it’s 12 o’ clock at night and I’ve had a long day, the answer is yes. If he wants me to go with him to the hospital to get his test results, even if I have something else planned, the answer is yes. If he wants to discuss his feelings about something, I always make time for that.

Now when it comes to which movie to see, or what to have for dinner, these should be 50/50 situations.

This is how I reconcile the constant struggle which can result when you are always trying to assert your will.

But I do believe there are behaviours which build relationships, and behaviours which break them down. Sometimes, it is not about you, it is about building something bigger than yourselves.

And DMC, would that really be the hill you want to die on?  Is it really too much in your opinion to do a small thing to make a woman feel loved and valued? What if the tables were turned?  See we are ALL required to be meek at times in order to have successful relationships.  Meek does not equal weak.  Meekness is strength under control because its a choice you make.  If you are not concerned about a successful relationship, then that’s another discussion entirely.

I think you calling me a misogynist simply b/c I said the man should not be a pushover and should stand up for what he wants is a little over the top/

And I apologize if you thought I was polluting your blog.  I was simply stating a view that was different from yours. 

And to be crystal clear: you may disagree with me, but that doesn’t mean I’m “incorrect”.

Perhaps you should start your own dating/relationship blog instead of polluting mine with your borderline misogynist take on the the world.

Yes. I think that would be best. You give advice to people receptive to your worldview and I’ll give advice to those who are receptive to mine.

Maybe I misunderstood – I thought you were trying to give helpful advice.  Also, I think you are being a little over-sensitive:  I’ve often agreed with things you’ve said.  I’ve just pointed out where I feel you’ve been incorrect. In this case, I think you are effectively telling this guy to be a pushover and simply give in to his woman’s neediness.  I think this is a poor long-term strategy (and and even worse short-term one).  You are suggesting a band-aid, I’m suggesting a remedy

You need to set boundaries.  Women like when you leave them wanting more to a degree, and telling them no can be quite the turn on.  And remember, women aren’t exactly know for being unfickle are content.  It will always be something. 

I think I know what Evan was going for here, but he missed the mark. It’s not a compromise when one side is totally giving in.