How to Deal With Guys Who Won’t Stop Shopping Online
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Online dating is truly a leveling of the playing field – not a tilting in the man’s favor. And the more desirable the person – whether it’s because of looks or money or education – the more likely that you’re gonna have a hard time getting that person to settle down on you. They most likely know that they have great power and are intent on exploring it.
So what is the right way to combat this if you’re a woman? By not sweating it. You can’t control what anybody else does, you can only control your actions and reactions to things. In fact, I’d tell your client exactly what I tell all my clients when they’re going out with someone – go in with the confidence that they’re going to love you and they’re more likely to love you. The more you worry about how often he’s logging on, and who else he’s dating, and why he hasn’t taken his profile down, the more likely you are to come across as needy.
But frankly, I think this is way too much analysis for what is a pretty simple situation. When a guy is crazy about a woman, he does whatever is in his power to make her his girlfriend. If he fails to do that, she’s just ignoring the writing on the wall. If she’s choose to exit a relationship that’s not progressing, that’s certainly within her rights. If he follows her, then she knows he cared. If he lets her go, she just saved herself a lot of time and trouble.
I’m no psychologist, but people’s behavior generally speaks for itself, don’t you think?
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1 Comment »Filed Under Online Dating
I am nearly always in the mood physically. However as a woman I need and want to...
hespeler 1
This is so spot on. I just had a conversation with someone yesterday and we talked about how the playing field is level.
I find online dating very frustrating but I do get a decent response rate and get unsolicited contacts from time to time. That said, I am NOT a player and am marriage-minded. It’s usually feast or famine and I tend to get stretched pretty thin as I try and exercise my options while giving the proper consideration to a date. It gets really difficult to balance all this and I usually wind up with nothing in the end.
On the other hand, I’ve been out on a few one date wonders where a woman would not give me a second chance or e-mails would abruptly stop or my overtures would be completely ignored. I always see these same woman back online eventually trying all over again.
We’re all doing the best we can and are all facing the same ups and downs on this whole merry-go-round. This is why I am getting better at handling rejection and the whole concept of “out of his/her leaugue.” Not sure that’s even applicable when it comes to online dating.