Comments on: How To Get A Guy To Like You

By: rhona

rhona — Mon, 03 Dec 2012 09:27:32 +0000

Great article and great reading…Good reminder for everyone! Nice post.

By: SY

SY — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 22:29:44 +0000

But how soon is too soon? Is it ok to show I’m smitten by someone anytime in the relationship? Perhaps 3-4 month being exclusive? Or should I play cool all along and once I show interest I might scare off my love interest?

By: AS

AS — Thu, 26 May 2011 16:53:06 +0000

Good post – it’s so true that when you stop and put yourself in a guy’s shoes it certainly puts things into perspective! But I wonder, how many guys would try and put themselves into a woman’s shoes when she is behaving all ‘puppy dog’ and try not to hold it against her?

By: melie

melie — Mon, 23 May 2011 20:02:59 +0000

Hmm! If I had know then, this bit of information, I would have run and run fast, from my ex. It prohibits me from continuing to meet for 2nd dates and helps me to know who won’t work…period! Thanks Evan.

By: SS

SS — Mon, 23 May 2011 14:15:48 +0000

Margo, it’s wonderful! I have never had such a healthy and strong relationship before in my life and we are totally attracted to each other. (The sex is good too… in fact, he says he has a hard time keeping up with me, lol)

The point is though that I didn’t fall head over heels when we first met (like I did with every other guy I dated before). I got to know him without bringing sex into the equation for a few months, spent time talking and just seeing where things went. If no interest had developed on my part, I would have let him go. But by Month 3, I knew I was interested. I think he was interested after the first date!

After we became exclusive, the feeling that I had was more one of internal satisfaction and security, moreso than butterflies. I couldn’t wait to see him, for example, but I never felt that kinda nervous/jumpy feeling that goes with butterflies. It was more like, “Yay, he’s here!” and I instantly felt relaxed and comfortable… like I knew that I was safe and protected with him and most of all… I knew he’d be back after our date was over and that he would call.

All of that made him infinitely more attractive to me and actually made me want sex more. I know I hated the feeling in the past of always being on eggshells with a man — even if we were supposedly exclusive — and always having to think, “Okay, this was a great date/evening together, but when will I hear from him again? Will I hear from him again?”

I think my “butterflies” in such situations resulted from a combination of excitement and a bit of fear of the unknown.

So when he proposed, I happily accepted. I’m still a newlywed, but I feel our relationship grows stronger each day and I fall in love every time I see him.

By: Margo

Margo — Mon, 23 May 2011 11:20:52 +0000

@SS#17, “I married the guy who DIDN’T give me butterflies”. SS how is that working for you? Honestly, I would be scared to marry a man who didn’t give me butterflies for fear that the sex wouldn’t do it for me.

By: starthrower68

starthrower68 — Sat, 21 May 2011 23:41:15 +0000

A good reminder. The damage may be done for me and it may be too late but oh well. Live and learn.

By: sharon

sharon — Sat, 21 May 2011 03:06:37 +0000

@ Angie
I was responding to Fawn sorry for the confusion.

By: Anita

Anita — Sat, 21 May 2011 02:22:25 +0000

Evan #12

Evan, I so agree with you. I thought I was going bananas about a good long term relationship being best friends with benefits. If a guy doesn’t understand that concept, well I should thank God that he is now gone because he is looking for something elusive without really knowing the person. (I guess he is lacking emotional maturity).

Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions and clarify any confusion. It is encouraging for me to see men like you do exist in this world.

By: Angie

Angie — Sat, 21 May 2011 01:32:59 +0000

@Sharon

He didn’t say there should be a lack of lust. He said it shouldn’t be exclusively lust. ANY relationship is off-balance if one person is more interested than the other. I’ve read (not in dating material, but pyschology/intuition material) that “butterflies” aren’t necessarily indicating that you feel good, and that sometimes they actually mean you feel concerned/nervous because you feel like someone else is controlling you. (I don’t think that is exact, but close).

I don’t like when men put me on a pedestal either. Last week I gave a guy my number. The NEXT day, around lunchtime, I got a “It was a pleasure meeting you” text. 3 hours later “But if the feeling wasn’t mutual, I understand” text. 3 hours later my phone was ringing… Yes, both ways. It’s too much and frightening.

Guys have a hard time telling if the person is interested, though, so it’s hard to find that line between not obsessed but interested.