Comments on: How To Guarantee A Guy Calls You After Sex

By: m

Thu, 13 Dec 2012 22:09:19 +0000

@Sayanta31 – I’m not sure if you’re still following this thread, and I’m not sure either if you’re still looking or where you live, but I was at a gallery exhibition last night, the place was packed, and I left having given my info to not one but four charming single men. Gallery things have changed (especially when it’s a group show and the presenting artists are there) — you may want to try again.

By: Fusee

Fusee — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 16:57:07 +0000

There will never be any hard core guarantee. After all, if men (and women) can disappear on their spouse after 20+ years of marriage, they an disappear after a few dates. He can change his mind, he can lose your number, hey he can even die at the wrong time... The closest you can get from a guarantee is being so special, so interesting, so loving, and having the man like you so much, that there will pretty much be no chance that he will not want to see you again ASAP. If before you become sexually intimate, he knows how amazing you are, he desires to get to know you better, he feels great around you, and he finds himself emtionally connected to you, why - oh why - would he disappear after sharing a sexual connection, or after a few dates for that matter? Therefore, make sure to be that special, interesting, and loving woman. Make sure he feels emotionally connected. Make sure these feelings develop QUICKLY - over the first few dates - so that sex does not need to be postponed for too long. This is YOUR responsability as a woman.

By: jessica

jessica — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 11:44:23 +0000

LADIES -stop saying you can have “casual” sex. Or booty calls…it is total denial. Even if you barely like a guy, the minute you get intimate you will catch feelings…end of story. You will feel badly if you know he is with other women, you will feel used if he only wants your body, and you will resent his treatment of you soon after… THERE IS NO exact rule (wait 90 days, wait 30, wait til marriage…) Wait til you feel like the guy is good enough a person to have you. But know, people can be actors (or confused) and even if you wait, and do all the right things…it STILL may not work out. But KNOW 100% if you sleep with him before you get to know one another — you will NEVER have anything. (Except for rare occcasions, I mean never say never right) But wait tooooo long, like the guy, have bad sex— whats worse than that? Right. So i am not waiting three months to fall for someone and then find out our sexual chemistry is horrible. I will also never sleep with a guy on the first few dates (I mean AT LEAST 6… 7, 8-10 best) This SHOULD occur within 4-6 weeks. 8 at the MOST… but he could flip a switch. Happens all the time. But its better to feel like it is all his fault it did not work out, than yours right?

By: jessica

jessica — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 11:26:50 +0000

#47 i love your attitude..BUT, the problem is… BIOLOGY. Women ar made to want a comittment. Our bodies literally have hormones that produce after sex which make us want to bond. men, on the other hand – biologically want to spread their seed. OF COURSE, men dont want to be lonely. But the more options they FEEL that they have, the LESS likely it will work out long term. In NYC, there are 5 women to 2 men (about). With the biology of men and women, is it so ODD that its the toughest city to date in? Also, the men who live in NYC are mostly all successful. Combine these factores, and why WOULD THEY want to settle down? Even the “losers” who maybe are goodlooking, there are so many deperate girls they don’t even want to settle or feel that they have to. Why in small towns,, is everyone married? Because there are NOT so many options. When you find someone you like, you HOLD ONTO IT. In NYC, they freak out even if tey do love you and arent bad guys because — they have all these options walking around in their face everyday…

By: jessica

jessica — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 11:16:57 +0000

Also depends on the two people, what you need. Personally, I need daily contact. NOT all day long morning noon and night, but every day. Some people need more or less, and they can care the same amount.

By: jessica

jessica — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 11:13:25 +0000

Evan makes this see SO SIMPLE. BLACK AND WHITE. Women, behave a certain way and you will always come out on top. NOT TRUE. Yes, there are absolutely behaviors that many men share. Also, that many women share. HOWEVER, human beings are NOT an exact science so we can not treat it this way. I do agree with Evan on many issues, however, I also disagree. For example, it is possible that a man’s ACTIONS can be great – and then the moment you get comfortable he freaks out…once he feels “he has you”. This happens ALL THE TIME. This is a guy who is afraid of commitment. But there is no way of knowing, because he doesnt even know! If you date a guy for a month, you hangout several times a week. Meet his friends, talk on the phone becuse he CALLS and wnats to see how you are. Then, goes on vaca, but doesnt contact you the entire time. CONFUSING RIGHT? Because he is confused, or different than you… The woman can not decipher one way or the other what this means…because we are always being told we are too sensitive or needy. It could mean he doesnt care, or it could mean his phone is off out of the country and thinks there is nothing disrespectful about it. TWO DIFFERENT MEN, TWO DIFFERENT REASONS. It is NOT an exact science – human beings never are… yes it can be VERY CLEAR one way or the other, but it can also be very gray. So do you walk away from gray (mostly good) because its not exactly right? AS women today there is so much pressure on us to either make or break the relationship. It is mostly OUR behavior while initially dating that guides the relationship…unless the guy is literally an asshole. So let us say, you date this guy a month or so. He is unbelivable attentive, sweet, but occasionally inconsiderate (or are you just over analyzing??) – you hang ou ALOT considering your schedules, he always does what he says he will, he does not pressurre you for sex.. he wants to know your last name, bday, and family names…and then… as you start to become less cautious and more comfortable he slowly becomes aloof. Is this my fault? NOOO. It is his issues. Now we have sex, 10 dates later… (and also being acquaintances for years) and h DOES NOT call you the next day. He sleeps i with you, cuddles you, and takes you to breakfast…but leaves (doesnt have plans or anywhere to be) talks about your plans for the following weekend – but doesnt call…or text… So Evan, is this a clear cut thing ? NO- the guy is confused , scared, hs his own issues taht have NOTHING TO do with howi have behaved… There was no way to forsee this or guarantee anything.

By: Jasmine

Jasmine — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 01:11:53 +0000

Adam don’t tell Mary where you live, tell me

By: A.L.

A.L. — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 20:35:06 +0000

I’m a 24 year old, single professional mother. I came across this article at just the right time. I have been seeing a man for about 3 months. At first everything was WONDERFUL. He was SOOO into me – or so it seemed. He said he wanted to be “exclusive” (only see each other) but not “official.” Within the first month, I didn’t think anything of it. Because we were just getting to know each other. After the 2 month mark, it became clear he was drifting away. I knew what it meant. I freaks out, panicked and acted extremely needy. FURTHER pushing him away.

Finally I decided I didn’t want to be used to for sex anymore. At first I thought cut him off completely. I came across this article about words vs actions. So true! Thank you, Evan!!!

So after this I realized being “used” for sex is sometimes a state of mind. I decided to use him back. We went out last Saturday, hooked up and immediately afterward, I left. He asked me to text him when I got home (I live an hour away.) … But I never did. I detached myself from the strong feelings I had and was the guy for once. And he reacted in a way he hasn’t in over a month. Texting, calling, pursuing ME. WELL… Buddy, lost his chance. But I think I’m learning about the difference between men and women. And next time, I’ll be a LOT smarter.

By: Star

Star — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 22:21:18 +0000

The dating thing is sooo hard! Just a lot of work, get your hopes up only to have them dashed. The things that have worked for me are… 1) letting a guy know that I am interested in going out with him, someone I choose, not the men who ask me out as I find those dates go nowhere as I am usually not interested in them. I choose the guys, let them know I’m interested and then go out with them, 9 times out of 10 we hit it off in some way and I enjoy the dates much more and most have ended in short relationships. 2) knowing my boundaries and not ever letting a guy cross them, if a guy is not contacting me entusiastically by telephone and consistantly about going out or getting to know me then I don’t go out with him. 3) the whole sex thing, most men will chase you for it if they like you enough and if you make them chase by not calling them (like NEVER!), don’t be available all the time, insist on dates (not just hanging out), make them work for it, don’t be all nice to them, make them work hard for at least 3 months, they want to work this hard and want to chase. and really I don’t even believe it if they say its an LTR or an exclusive thing before they have sex with you, i’ve been dumped or cheated on after sex after having all those agreements in place … never a sure a thing. best thing to do is watch his actions, don’t put up with any crap, call him on all of it, do not persue him, and if he’s making you a part of his life, meeting friends, family etc etc the more entrenched you are in his life, the better chance you have of not getting dumped after you do the deed you can fool around with him though, just keep control, no actual intercourse… if he walks before that, oh well. And discreetly date other guys on the side so you do get your needs met, we all have needs

By: Rachel

Rachel — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 12:46:43 +0000

@ no 25 I have the same problem, I have dated many guys from online as I don’t seem to meet any potential dates in real life, some of them I slept with too early and some I waited or didn’t sleep with them at all but all had the same outcome.

They all tell me how great I am and seem really into me then get scared once they feel I like them back, it’s like game over for them.

The latest guy I dated was really into me and we clicked, we eventually slept together and he went all cold on me, he said he didn’t feel we clicked in the bedroom yet he still really fancied me. To be honest I would have rather slept with him earlier to find this out, this is not the first time I have waited only for the guy to say the sex wasnt for him. Yet when I sleep with a date early on they seem to want more, but not a relationship.

I have learned that as a woman I really can’t win whatever I do.
I have given up on dating. It has not made me feel good about myself.