Writer, teacher and public speaker Arjuna Ardagh wrote an article for Huffington Post a couple of years ago that stuck with me. (Ardagh was behind the much-talked-about video I featured in this blog post.)
In it, he wrote:
I have had many, many great teachers in my life. A super abundance. No one and nothing comes close to the woman who is now asleep in the bedroom. My marriage has become the guru, the salvation, the muse, the crack through which the divine shines through.
On this point, I agree with him entirely. I was perfectly content and self-sufficient before I got married. Now, my world would be shattered if she were gone. There is a healthy co-dependence that comes from building something that’s bigger than either of you and depends on the both of you for its very existence. When you’re in someone’s corner completely and you feel 100% safe, life is as beautiful as can possibly be. This is what I wish for you, if you wish it for yourself.
The author, however, is not content with mutual respect, laughter, and trust. He’s big on “worship”. That’s where he loses me. Particularly this paragraph, which should make every man shudder or laugh:
“Do what I did, and create an altar in your room dedicated to Divine Feminine. Put only symbols of the feminine on it. I have a painting called “Beatrix” by Dante Gabriel Rossetti. I have a statue of Quan Kin. Populate your altar with anything that reminds you of the feminine, and spend a few minutes of the day in worship. Yes, worship. Adoration. Devotion. Offer up rose petals. Offer poems. Offer everything, and beg Her to reveal Her innermost essence to you. This will work miracles whether you’re single and waiting to meet the right woman or whether you’re already in relationship and long to meet your woman in a deeper way.”
I’m all about communication and depth; but a shrine? Really? For every woman that will feel honored by your respect for her goddessness, there will be 10 who are completely creeped out by you.
Want to be a good partner, guys? Watch your kid while she goes on a girls’ night out. Plan a romantic staycation with a spa treatment. Call her to tell her you love her while you’re away on business. I did all these things in the past week and my relationship is both deep and strong – without having to build myself a vagina-shaped fireplace that uses Georgia O’Keefe prints as kindling.
Read the full article here and let me know what you think. Is respect enough? Or do you prefer “worship”? And if you’re a goddess, does that make him a god? And does that mean he gets his own penis shrine, as well?
Why He Disappeared is the smart, strong, successful woman's guide to understanding men. If you want to learn how men think, and rediscover how to have meaningful relationships - all from a man's point of view - click here to learn Why He Disappeared.
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