Comments on: I’ve Been Hurt By a LOT of Men. Should I Give Them Another Chance?

By: Matthew

Matthew — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 20:10:20 +0000

Writing from the guy’s perspective… I’m so sorry to hear about your story. It made me cry to both read it, and to think on realizing first hand how common your story is. Recently, I’ve fallen in love with a young women who pretty much echo’s everything you talked about… Dealing with that as a sensitive, maybe an oversensitive guy is probably the most difficult thing I’ve done. Having to prove, then convince her that she’s not a project to be worked on and fixed, but a shining star in my life to be held and cherished above all others on this earth… One thing I always keep in mind though is no matter how broken, how ’screwed up’ she thinks she is, she’s a shining star in my eyes… and that’s what matters. My advice is that there will be a guy out there who will want to understand, will want to be a shoulder to cry on, a friend to talk to, and he won’t care how broken you are. Look for that guy, and for your sake and his, give him a chance. You may be surprised at how grateful, how loving, how caring some guy might be some day. The guy that every girl calls a great friend… And maybe, that friend will come out and shine for you too.

By: yawn

*yawn* — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 05:05:42 +0000

Wow. My story completely. I thought I was the only naive young girl out there who continued to trust people before they gave me a reason to and ended up assualted and in abusive relationships. Please see a psychologist, it’s hard to break patterns on your own, but it can be done. And trusting people before they’ve given you a reason to is a beautiful quality to have, but a dangerous one when you have no one protecting you. Protect yourself, sweets: you won’t find out how to do it on the web, you’ll find out how to do it by talking about your experiences and processing your thoughts with someone qualified to understand them. Best wishes, there are bright things in your future and you DESERVE to be loved.

By: Pat

Pat — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 22:59:09 +0000

You need therapy

By: LNY

LNY — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 09:17:00 +0000

Dear Amanda:

Try doing EFT: Emotional Freedom technique. I know it works miracles.Or get yourself a pet. You will experience loyalty, love and regain faith in the universe through them. Truly.

By: Amelia

Amelia — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 15:59:51 +0000

Yes! If I were you, I cannot survive without men’s love.

By: Ryan Hilario

Ryan Hilario — Sun, 30 Sep 2007 08:59:37 +0000

Focus your energy on other things that matter. What really matters at this point is your well being and your mindset. Change it and overcome certain obstacles that your facing. What you have doing is going into something and doing a take away. Taking away something was taken from you when you were taken advantage of. Don’t get back at men rather get back at what makes you happy excluding men. once you have won and conquered yourself the right guy will come. don’t search for men search for those inner desires and passions that make you happy. failures and mistakes are good but repeating them leads to a downward spiral. you will have self realizations but its really up to you if you want to move forward or look back. qualify yourself and stop qualifying men.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 22:00:27 +0000

I just wanted to thank you for your advice. While moving isn’t an option I do feel I can get past this. I’m doing more things I love and doing them with people I love. I feel more confident already just having a plan and a goal. I was completely blown away with peoples comments as well. Thank you so much for your stories and support. I didn’t expect that at all. While, I never lost faith in people, I feel like less of a freak knowing that, even people that haven’t been there, still sympathize with me and take the time for encouragement. Thank you!

By: Mark Firehammer

Mark Firehammer — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 15:59:54 +0000

It’s a beautiful thing to see how much compassion strangers can show toward others, who have just shared difficult details about their life and experience. Our hearts and positive thoughts go out to you Amanda.
At Compatikey we are in total agreement with the final advice Mr. Katz gave you.
“Choose confidence. Choose optimism. Choose therapy. Choose to dump men who don’t give you what you need. ”

“We’re all the sum total of the choices we make. Keep choosing wisely and nobody can stop you from fulfilling all your dreams.”

When you are ready, Compatikey is a tool that will help you to identify the wisest choice possible on the invisible levels. The levels that make up the part of attractions we feel known as chemistry. Stop by when you’re ready, I will arrange for my wife Patty, the originator of the Compatikey system, to personally guide you in the use of this powerful tool. It’s on us.

Sincerely,
Mark Firehammer, CEO Compatikey.com

By: Barb

Barb — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 21:54:12 +0000

Amanda,

You *deserve* to be happy. I know that may sound trite coming from a total stranger but it is true and I hope some day you will acknowledge that. I hope more people tell you that each day.
Good Luck!

By: Jes

Jes — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 18:24:53 +0000

Amanda,
Evan was right when he said “You are not your past. You are your future. You are whatever you choose to be…Choose confidence. Choose optimism. Choose therapy. Choose to dump men who don’t give you what you need.” I hope you take his words to heart, seriously.

I haven’t been in your same situation, but I have had things that are little road bumps, but they felt like mountains. The best thing I ever did was start over. I stopped looking at the past and feeling broken. I started looking at the future. I perged like there was no tomorrow. Most of it was stuff, material and emotional, that I had been hanging on to for so long. I thought that it was a badge of honor. But it wasn’t, it was the thing that was holding me back.

Therapy has helped signifigantly. I promise you that it’s not going to be easy. You are going to have to face somethings that you might have been supressing. But once you do it, you will feel so much better.

Once you know you can, learn who you are again. I forgot who I was, and i didn’t like the person I had become. I went back to my roots and started doing things that I once loved, but had dropped.

No one can give you the perfect answer. No one can wave a magic wand and make it all better. But with a little work on you and a little time, things will be good again.

Good Luck!